Conservatives tailoring reality from whole cloth [part II]

I woke up this morning. My pants were down at my knees, and I had one shoe on. I don’t blame the drink, I think I just got distracted. Where were we?

Our world is hellishly screwed up. We’ve empowered two political factions, and these are supposed to go some way toward fixing our problems. But they can’t agree on anything. They share no common ground. The saying goes:

The two sides can’t agree on policy? They can’t even agree on the facts.

Eh, ’tis true. For example one side thinks poverty is a bad situation, and the other side thinks it’s a good lesson. How will poor people ever stop being poor if you help them? If you give them food, clothing and shelter? They’ll just be poor people with tasty shirts and clean biscuits. Good point. Excellent point, really.

The two sides can’t agree on even the simplest facts. The Donald Sterling debacle demonstrates this amply. Aside from all the scandal’s notty complications and tangents two things are clear:

1.) Donald Sterling is a Republican.
2.) Donald Sterling is a racist.

These no one could deny. But then there are conservatives, with their pack-oriented brains. When they’re hanging around, friends, nothing is safe. Blogger Donald Douglas got the hounds to baying when he posted:

Desperate, depraved and deluded leftists have “proved” that racist Democrat Donald Sterling’s actually a “registered Republican”…

Who knows what party he’s registered with, really? Maybe he registered Republican when he was depressed a few years and never punched a single ticket for a GOP candidate? He’s had loads of legal and marital problems. He’s been sued for his Democrat “plantation style” racism before…

That fact is, as I’ve been saying for days now, Sterling’s a dyed-in-the-wool far-left Beverly Hills liberal of the first order.

That old racist can’t be a Republican. No, I don’t care what his party affiliation is. I took it upon myself to look deep into the partisan cosmos and I know better. He’s a far-left Beverly Hills liberal of the first order. Ta-da! This bizarro denial is no isolated event. Challenged with the realities of their own dysfunction, conservatives frequently check out, reality-wise. John Hinderaker can’t even accept that Donald Sterling is a racist. At all. In the least.

The Race-Baiters and V. Stiviano Strike Gold

Yesterday was Donald Sterling’s 80th birthday. It was not a happy one.


The more you learn about the story, the stranger it gets. If you listen to the tapes, which have been made public by TMZ and Deadspin, it is hard to make sense of them. Sterling doesn’t want Stiviano to put up photos of herself with African-Americans on Instagram or bring them with her to Los Angeles Clippers games. He says he doesn’t care if she associates or sleeps with black people, just don’t put them up on Instagram. An odd distinction!

Obviously this man would normally be sensible. He’s a billionaire. But now I hear these tapes…and I’m confused. (wait – have I a blog? yeh, a blog I have…)

His request was motivated, evidently, by the fact that one or more of Sterling’s friends called him to comment on the Instagram photos. While Sterling never says this, reading between the lines it appears that someone must have teased him about his mistress consorting with blacks.

And rather than tell the bullshit bastard caller to go fuck himself, Donald turned on his girlfriend. At this point it should have occurred to John something was wrong and he should have stopped his post. He should have chuckled and scrubbed the whole thing. But conservatives are nothing if not relentless. So instead he fully commited to excusing the poor racist:

What makes this bizarre is that Stiviano herself is black and Mexican, a fact that she reminds Sterling of during their argument. The situation is otherworldly, in that Sterling seems not to have noticed that his own girlfriend is black. This is a screen shot from TMZ, which supplies a transcript along with the audio:

Sterling: I’m not you, and you’re not me. You’re supposed to be a delicate white or delicate Latina girl.

Stiviano: I’m a mixed girl.

So Donald Sterling emerges as a pathetic figure: a reverse image of Othello, a doddering old man with a young black mistress who cheats on him. He understands, but asks her not to embarrass him before his friends. He may also be suffering from dementia.

WOW. To me, Donald Sterling is something of a mythic figure. Like a Shakespearean character. Powerful, and yet pathetic. Conflicted, love-bound, tortured and pleading – please don’t embarrass me before the Venice court! I mean, what will Cassio think? Incidentally, Sterling has lost his mind. That would explain his timeless, epic response. You know, as an archetype, talking to his black mistress. Whaaat?

For a billionaire, he makes precious little sense on the tape(s).

True. He doesn’t sound anything like Donald Trump. If that isn’t a fatal diagnosis, well. Now we hit downtown:

The political motive to make Donald Sterling the poster boy for 21st century racism is obvious, but is he actually a racist? I have never met the man, but it doesn’t seem probable.

Reminder: John has heard the recording. You have too:

“It bothers me a lot that you want to broadcast that you are associating with black people. Do you have to?…”

Sterling goes on and on like that. How can a sane person deny it? But some people are so sick with politics that reality must be tailored. I mean, a billionaire can’t be a bad person. I just don’t see how! So John investigates and begs you see the evidence. One:

He owns a basketball team on which 12 of the 14 players are black. The coach is black.

And it’s a good thing. NBA basketball is big business. The players happen to be black and the team happens to be worth over 700 million dollars. Coincidence? Nope. Why Hinderaker doesn’t praise Sterling’s bloodless business acumen here, I don’t know. He prefers to see Donald as extending a helping hand to the Negro, despite the profit incentives. Two:

Sterling has black friends, like Earvin Johnson.

Not any more.

…but maybe black people are stupid. Maybe they aren’t intelligent enough to appreciate the real Donald Sterling, the way Hinderaker does. Three:

The Los Angeles chapter of the NAACP had announced that it would soon give Donald Sterling its Lifetime Achievement award. I don’t know what he did to deserve it, but he must be a conventional liberal to be eligible.

…because no conservative would ever help the NAACP. C’mon! Those people are the real racists, and I trust that they’d know if, uh, Sterling were…hmm. Confoozling. The president of that chapter just resigned, incidentally. Four:

We know that he is a long-time Democrat and Democratic Party donor.

Sterling is a Republican. I just debunked this – behold Donald Douglas. In his world, Sterling is a rabid racist because he’s a Democrat. In Hinderaker’s world, Sterling’s the best friend an African American could have because he’s wealthy, and perhaps insane. In the twisted milieu of Republicans, all of these things are true. Is that so hard to believe? Cough?

So an 80-year-old man with a much younger, mixed-race girlfriend is sexually insecure–go figure! He has a friend, a negative-image Iago, who plays on his insecurity and teases him when the mistress posts pictures with black men, however innocent they may be. So the old man asks her not to do it.

And so what jerks?

She can spend all day with black men and even sleep with them, he says, just don’t post photos or attend Clippers games with them. But the young woman already has one foot out the door, and she illegally records her conversation with the old man, and then turns it over to two of the most disreputable gossip sites on the internet.

She’s a sneaky thug who wants Magic Johnson’s dick, and probably Harvey Levin’s too.

On the tape, Donald Sterling says, “I love the black people.”

Look out. ‘You’re not going to defend his affection for the blacks,’ he pleaded. He hoped.

I can’t vouch for his sincerity, but there is nothing in the DMZ/Deadspin tapes that belies that sentiment.

Jumping Jesus Christ. There is nothing in the tapes that belies Sterling’s love for black people? Except for everything he says. Remember the part where he doesn’t want one sitting in his hockey arena? You see the mysterious point I’m getting at.

This is madness. Insanity. I don’t know how we can go on like this. More than half of Fox News viewers still believe Saddam Hussein planned 9/11. More than half of the GOP believes evolution is false. More than half of America believes global warming is a hoax. The truth has become controversial.

The political sides can’t agree to do anything of any good, and we know why. They can’t agree on reality. You’re supposed to be entitled to your own opinion, but not your own facts. One side now is entirely entitled to its own facts. One side is entitled to its own world. But that world does not exist.