Send in the Muslims don’t bother they’re here

Jonah Goldberg weighs in on the Obama gut-punch that is Free Bowe Bergdahl. You read “Release the White House Hacks!” and you discover Jonah’s not bothered by the possibility that Sgt. Bergdahl abandoned his unit.

…we don’t know that he was a deserter yet. We only know that he was AWOL. Indeed, according to an earlier Pentagon report, we know he had a habit of wandering off base. That may make him a flake or an idiot, but it doesn’t prove he was a deserter.

While that’s nice to say – and accurate – it’s only a Jonah appetizer ‘fore the meal.

…it might be best to withhold judgment on a lot of aspects to this story.

Save perhaps one: The White House is run by clowns.

Goldberg thinks somebody else is a clown. HOLD YOUR TONGUES.

Actually, that’s not quite fair. Clowns are actually pretty professional. They go to school to do what they do.

WHOA change of direction. While he’s talking about clowns! How in the world does he do it?

That reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from The Simpsons. Sideshow Bob is talking to his brother Cecil through the plate glass of a jail visiting room…

Sideshow Bob: You wanted to be Krusty’s sidekick since you were five. What about the buffoon lessons, the four years at clown college?

Cecil Terwilliger: I’ll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way.

Look, I’m not making an ideological point here.

Har! He’s so adorable you just want to clout him with a mace. The soldier’s been returned to the U.S., and now he’s recuperating, and the White House is sick with clowns why?

In the old days, there was an unwritten rule of politics: Don’t put the president next to a guy who looks like he just emerged out of spider-hole with Mullah Omar.

Because Bergdahl’s dad sports a beard. So he looks like a you-know-what. Thanks Obama.

…in the final version, Mrs. Bergdahl would be in a burqa and ululating while Mr. Bergdahl was shouting “Allahu Akbar!” and firing an AK-47 into the White House portico causing plaster to fall down.

An Arab might be happy sleeping in a tent or riding on a camel or mixing up some dynamite, but you can’t put him next to the president. Don’t you know? Haven’t you seen? They’re dirty and they’re noisy and they shoot guns.

Duck Dynasty and a Free Society
Burke, Paine, and the bearded guy
By Jonah Goldberg

Hail Western culture! Christian beliefs! TOLERANCE YOU APES.


2 thoughts Send in the Muslims don’t bother they’re here

  1. avatar Grung_e_Gene says:

    toma, the worst thing is while your writing reflects an erudite wit Jonah gets paid MILLIONS of dollars to write this stuff.

    I’d be tempted to drop all my ethics, convictions, morals and become a conservative like Jonah in order to get paid some of that sweet wingnut welfare but I don’t have an editorial position I can inherit from my mommy, like manly man Jonah here….

  2. avatar toma says:

    …and so here we are Gene. Spending our hard-earned money just so we can get called filthy names by Jonah’s fans. Yes, it would be nice to get paid to air our stupid opinions but where’s the passion, man? Where’s the First Amendment love, dude? /sour grapes

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