Tucker Carlson is une bitch

Tucker Carlson – rowrr. GRRRR.

British TV host Bear Grylls opined at a recent luncheon for his new adventure reality show that manliness was in crisis because the modern man was relying on technology instead of “your spear, your brains, your resourcefulness, your courage.”

“I think this is real,” Carlson agreed on Tuesday’s edition of the Fox News show Out Numbered. “Part of it is somebody told boys when they were little, ‘Be sensitive, be thoughtful.’ And some of that’s fine, too much of it makes you pretty unattractive to women. And this is one of the reasons, because it suggests weakness…”

“Men, who on the second date, let their date pay for dinner, I’m sorry that’s disgusting,” he insisted.

Beat her with your spear. IT SHALL NOT RETRIEVE ITS BILLFOLD. Stomp! Furor! Pee!

By the way we’re all feelin’ pretty tired. Gassed. Really beat. Shattered. All in. I’m telling you we are Mr. Low Tee. Wet lettuce. I pity the fool who tries to wake me up.

Fox News host Tucker Carlson on Sunday argued that a Walmart truck driver who allegedly critically injured comedian Tracy Morgan in a car accident should not face jail time because falling asleep behind the wheel was not always reckless…

“I’m not trying to take anything away from the tragedy of this,” Carlson replied. “But 10 years in jail for falling asleep? It strikes me as very different from taking drugs, drinking. Has that ever happened? Has anybody ever actually gone to jail for falling asleep?”

Tigers go to sleep. Great White Sharks go to sleep. Godzilla goes to sleep every night. Since when do we put him in jail?

“…I mean sometimes people — and I’m not defending anyone here,” Carlson continued. “I’m really struck by the idea that someone who falls asleep — which is something that everybody does every day, not necessarily considered an act of recklessness — does it unintentionally, nods off is a criminal.”

YAAAWN. Fluff up my pet wolverine, woman. Lay it out on top of my Bad Boy sleep set, over in the minefield.