Goodbye Eric Cantor, my friend, everyone hated you

This is hugely entertaining. The sniveling backstabbing TRUE CONSERVATIVE proto-usurper of the Speaker of the House position, Majority Leader Eric Cantor, has been defeated in tonight’s Virginia primary – perhaps ending a once-promising (not to mention underhanded) career. The agent of change in this particular tragedy, tee-hee, would be…the surely-dead Tea Party. Pray marvel bystanders at The Irony oh my golly it is To Laugh:

In a stunning upset propelled by tea party activists, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) was defeated in Tuesday’s congressional primary, with insurgent David Brat delivering an unpredicted and devastating loss to the second most powerful Republican in the House who has widely been touted as a future speaker.

Cantor dreamed of replacing the Speaker and then moving his fellow House members appreciably to the right(!). To that end he frequently engaged in double-dealing and ex-parte gymnastics behind John Boehner’s back to make his job impossible, and to make him look like a feckless dolt.

But for all that clever scheming and maneuvering he couldn’t even beat an unknown with a grand total of $40,000 in his war chest, a fraction of Cantor’s well-connected $2 million. So his time is done. Here come the howler monkeys to tell you why…

“Eric Cantor’s loss tonight is an apocalyptic moment for the GOP establishment,” said L. Brent Bozell, chairman of ForAmerica, a conservative group that targeted Cantor throughout the primary. “The grassroots is in revolt and marching”…

Brat exposed discontent with Cantor in the solidly Republican, suburban Richmond 7th Congressional District by attacking the lawmaker on his votes to raise the debt ceiling and end the government shutdown, as well as his support for some immigration reforms.

Eric Cantor is a political cadaver tonight because he was certifiably insane only about 98% of the time. The second most trusted GOP leader in the House forced a government shutdown only a little while ago, which kicked up a firestorm of bad p.r., caused the Republicans terrible harm, and forced him to grab his fellow rebels and run back to D.C. before the party blew its brains out in a game of Russian roulette played before the nation’s eyes. And that’s the reason why, among other squish notions like NOT rifle-hunting immigrants as if they were bubonic squirrels, that the Tea Party made him a target for Virginia’s Thorazine caucus. He was a liberal! So hang high his carcass in the Jefferson Davis Memorial Smokehouse, boys, and start sucking down some of that sweet moonshine. Because the country will surely be whistlin’ Dixie a few months from now…

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