Children of The Maize

I’m having a hard time deciding how terrified of the migrant border children I should be.

Should I be piss-my-pants and shriek-like-a-howler-monkey scared? Or should I be ran-into-tipsy-Michele-Bachmann-at-Trader-Vic’s-then-she-put-her-tongue-in-my-ear-I-can-still-feel-it-in-there hysterical? I mean look at this:

As a physician for over 30 years, I am well aware of the dangers infectious diseases pose. In fact, infection diseases remain in the top 10 causes of death in the United States…

As such, reports of illegal migrants carrying deadly diseases such as swine flu, dengue fever, Ebola virus and tuberculosis are particularly concerning.

You can just imagine all those eight year-olds who have spent time in a Moscow prison for smuggling Siamese heroin out of Sierra Leone. And of course every one of them wants to come here, across the Sonoran desert in the summertime, just so they can get a free bowl of soup and the promise of a postal route in Murrieta ten years from now. BEWARE. This is how the bowel-eviscerating plague of dengue ebolulosis – and Freedom – spreads, people.

On the “Fox & Friends” program, Gov. Rick Perry bemoaned record-high apprehensions of individuals not from Mexico near the nation’s southern border. Perry then said: “These are people that are coming from states like Syria that have substantial connections back to terrorist regimes and terrorist operations.”

Frankly I’d rather have a few Syrian children hanging around here, lighting off a few firecrackers, than have them taking those long-study courses in bomb-making and mayhem they teach in war-torn countries. But then:

…we rated as Half True a softer statement by U.S. Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, that in the first 19 months of Barack Obama’s presidency, the U.S. detained people from nations designated as state sponsors of terrorism on the southwestern border.

While nearly everyone detained near the border was a Mexican national, Cornyn showed that in the cited period, there were 153 apprehensions of Cubans, 17 of Iranians, seven of Sudanese and two of Syrians.

When only two Syrians are nabbed at the Texas border over a year-and-a-half, you know what this means. Many more surely must have gotten through. The real number is probably in the thousands, which proves that Syrians are the most dangerous children on Earth. They’re so good at hide n’ seek their parents can’t even find them.