Dick Cheney has a hard-on for ISIS but I sadly do not

Noise next door, shut the hell up. I’m out of milk. I get annoyed on Saturday mornings.

The Truth About Iraq
And why it matters
The Weekly Standard • Jul 21, 2014, Vol. 19, No. 42

Someone wants to tell me a delightful story. I’m not in the mood to hear it.

• By DICK CHENEY and LIZ CHENEY

Why if it isn’t thee Mr. and Mrs. Bollocks, how revolting.

The larger war, of which the liberation of Iraq was part, is still ongoing. Winning it requires that we understand the truth about the liberation of Iraq, the challenges America faced in the aftermath of the invasion, how we overcame them with the 2007-08 surge, how we defeated Al Qaeda in Iraq and established a stable, functioning nation allied with America in the heart of the Middle East.

Listening to the Martial Twins you’d think we’d been fighting for the survival of the United States all this time, and in 2008 we had the battle won. Then someone came along and threw our country to the jackals of ISIS, ergo Hello Kitty ipso facto Fallujah. The only terrorists I’ve been troubled by were the ones Dick Cheney all but escorted onto planes back in 2001. They killed .0001% of us, and that wasn’t much of a threat to the country, for sure, but it sure made me sick.

Reality intrudes upon a farce. It wasn’t until the adoring fascists raised Dick Cheney in a sedan chair and returned him to Satan’s lanai that anyone laid a glove on Osama bin Laden. It wasn’t until Dick settled back into his familiar environs, with a 199-inch big screen television playing Fox News, and a kitchen larder fairly full of the Iraqi children he slaughtered, the faces of which he peels and eats like so many artichoke leaves, that al Qaeda really suffered for what they did. That’s when Barack Obama began killing the people Dick Cheney depended upon to sustain his earthly reputation. So now Dick wants to recruit ISIS – and you, incidentally – for the same purpose, but Fuck You.

Those who say the invasion of Iraq in 2003 was a mistake are essentially saying we would be better off if Saddam Hussein were still in power. That’s a difficult position to sustain. It is undisputed, and has been confirmed repeatedly in Iraqi government documents captured after the invasion, that Saddam had deep, longstanding, far-reaching relationships with terrorist organizations, including al Qaeda and its affiliates.

9/11 Commission member Warren Bass:

Early in its best-selling final report, the independent, bipartisan commission rendered a judgment on Osama bin Laden’s relationship with Saddam Hussein’s Iraq, rooted in a rigorous review of intelligence reports, that differs flatly from the Cheneys’ view: “The reports describe friendly contacts and indicate some common themes in both sides’ hatred of the United States. But to date we have seen no evidence that these or the earlier contacts ever developed into a collaborative operational relationship. Nor have we seen evidence indicating that Iraq cooperated with al Qaeda in developing or carrying out any attacks against the United States.”

So Fuck Fuck You.

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