Being Nice to Dogs in Our Space Age

Charles Krauthammer keeps his Pulitzer Prize on the bathroom shelf. He won it for his enthusiasms in the category of political commentary. On either side of the reflex to put a coaster under his whiskey tumbler, though, there’s not yet much room for human decency.

Moral clarity in Gaza
By Charles Krauthammer • July 17 at 5:35 PM

Israel accepts an Egyptian-proposed Gaza cease-fire; Hamas keeps firing. Hamas deliberately aims rockets at civilians; Israel painstakingly tries to avoid them, actually telephoning civilians in the area and dropping warning charges, so-called roof knocking.

I want you to tell me how I could mount a military campaign where I ‘knock’ on houses, say here in Los Angeles, in South Central for example, then blow them all to fucking bits and still be seen as a good guy. Please, tell me. How can anyone wipe out entire neighborhoods – residents included [300 and counting] – and be called a decent human being?

The Israelis luxuriate in these paltry table manners because they’re drama queens, and Charles couldn’t be more taken. They consider themselves to be more civilized than the mangy animals who fire rockets across their borders, even though any attack has about a 1 in 100 chance of killing civilians. Our fast friends are nowhere near as savage and stupid as that – every missile they launch is ten times more powerful than any Katyusha, and 99 out of 100 times civilian casualties result. And if that seems depraved and one-sided, especially as far as drama goes, let’s admit that Joan Crawford wasn’t much for sharing the spotlight.

“Here’s the difference between us,” explains the Israeli prime minister.

Earth is chock-full of prime ministers, incidentally. And you could pretty much use any one of them as a reference guide for moral clarity, know what I mean? I would be quick to hold one up as an example of universal decency, particularly during wartime.

“We’re using missile defense to protect our civilians, and they’re using their civilians to protect their missiles.”

The Israel Space Agency was founded in 1983. The Palestinians haven’t yet launched a single satellite – and that’s not just a shocking fact, that’s a confession of character.