Tucker Carlson’s dorkhut has got some sort of problem with Paris Hilton.
Paris Hilton has been acting very Paris Hilton-y lately, purchasing $13,000 Pomeranians, carrying around loose $100 bills and pictures of herself, but she really crossed the line Thursday when she uploaded these photos to her Instagram of her wearing nothing but bondage lingerie and thigh-high boots.
The line has been crossed.
That’s not lingerie, that’s art. Lingerie you don’t have to cut your girlfriend out of. There’s a hamburger commercial currently running where she’s wearing a small fraction of that spidery mess but pardon me what’s this chock-full in the Daily Caller side column? An internet supply of barely clad women. Bless my boner, if it isn’t Carlson’s Cheesecake™.
Maybe I’m making a dull point, but that’s not even a woman. It’s only a part. A part of a part of a woman, and without any clothing. In fact, the no-clothing is the whole point.
And another woman-part. Just their butts, thank you. Hold the talky-thinky bits please. And when Tucker does manage to get an entire human being into his masturbation stream…
…it’s for ‘National Fortune Cookie Day.’ Which brings us:
Asian women. Get it? Considering Tucker made up fortune-cookie day, and that said cookies were invented by Americans as a gimmick to impart “Chinese Wisdom” at the end of an exotic meal – cough – I’m disappointed we aren’t seeing some ‘ah-SO’ thought bubbles.
So, to sum up: Paris Hilton is a naked whore. Who flaunts herself with sex pictures. And while we’re tsk-tsking her wrecking of civilization please enjoy Tucker’s wankpics of female body parts – the rump, or the hock – or try one of his favorite after-dinner treats, an Asian in her panties. Done.