I think I’ll take global warming denialist for FAIL, Alex

One of Townhall’s finest comes forth to mock the entire climate science community.

Were you hit this week by all the climate change?

As you know it was the scientists, and not the weather geeks, who told us Juno was the sort of storm that would lay us all in our graves.

…thanks to the mainstream media, the whole nation was covered in climate change. The only thing missing from the coverage was any proof, but that doesn’t stop the alarmists.

Because when a massive storm buries a huge swath of the East Coast under two feet of snow, but it fails to do likewise in New York City, the guys who contemplate Iron Age tree rings for a living are quite dumb. To point and laugh at those people while being a moron yourself makes for a bit of irony. Derek.

This week gave us more examples of just how clueless and dedicated the devout members of the Holy Church of Global Warming truly are…

Clueless, eh? Do tell.

…Sachs said he’d asked a colleague “what the record is for mega snowfalls. He points out that since record keeping started in 1869, five of the 10 biggest snowstorms have come since 2003. So suggests that we’re seeing a lot more of this kind of extreme event.” The only problem is it’s not true.

The only problem is it’s absolutely true. But for the fact that it is flawlessly true. See here. If you wanted to come up with a perfect definition of “truth” for your new dictionary you could just write “Please see five of the worst snowstorms that hit New York since 2003.” Derek can’t reach up his own ass and pull out the simplest historical fact, yet look at the epithets Uber-Man tosses around so authoritatively in his screed: alarmists, failed, failing, incoherent, rambling, sock-puppet, bobbleheads, asinine, cultists. And let’s take note of why everybody else other than Awesome Derek is so dumb:

Bill Nye “the Mechanical Engineering Guy” (that is, after all, what his degree is in. He’s not a scientist, he’s a failed actor who was cast as “the Science Guy” for a local TV show after failing as a comedian)…

MSNBC contributor Jeffrey Sachs was on to make another asinine claim…Sachs, an economist and not a scientist, responded with an “Amen!” by giving the highly scientific answer of “Certainly scientists think so.”

That an economist or a mechanical engineer could know anything about global warming is too preposterous to consider. Should your whatever layperson want to delve into the byzantine details of stone cold climate science, have them pull up a chair, and get out a fresh notepad, and listen with rapt attention to…

Derek the Climate Genius

…a radio goof. And a genius at that:

Apparently the “scientists” at Columbia University’s “Earth Institute,” which Sachs runs, don’t have access to Google. I do, and I used it to easily disprove that lie.

…and there they go, all the facts Derek could manage “to easily disprove that lie.” He buried them all in some links that he somehow found on the Google. Sure, they’re not a couple millenia worth of Arctic ice cores stored under lock and key in a university cold room, but just click on them. They will prove once and for all that New York has not suffered any climate change related high-precipitation winter events over the last 12 years (the warmest on record, cough).

The first link, for example. It ranks the ten worst snowstorms of the last 125 years…to be found on all planet Earth. Ha Ha New York, only one of your recent blizzards made the global list. The second link takes the time to detail four of New York’s worst winter storms, but apparently only two of those have occurred since 2006. Two out of four is way less than five out of ten – jinx! You lose! The third link (see “easily disprove”) shows what a record-setting storm Juno was for a host of East Coast cities. But for New York? It was only the 25th biggest on record. You want to find out about the Big Apple’s biggest storms, you have to look at the disaster graphic that shows two of the top five have happened in the last nine seasons. This, I think, makes for a 40% cut of a double-helping of crow for the climate scientists. Remember, those idiots swore that 50% of an even bigger list was somehow meaningful. And the final link? The coup de grace? Of course it’s another list of the greatest snow-dumps in the history of our planet. Which, if New York was in anyway serious about, trying to compete with all the other regions global- and warming-wise, it should have found a way to top by now. Pretty lame.

So the day after Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck blew up the asteroid containing “Snowmageddon” and saved the east coast, Boston was digging itself out from under what it has been digging itself out from under in every winter since Boston was founded.

Derek’s point being that it was just another typical winter day. Nothing like an historic event, see:

Tuesday’s massive snowstorm is officially among Boston’s biggest ever recorded after dumping 24.6 inches of snow on the city, according to the National Weather Service.

The storm is now Boston’s sixth-largest snowstorm ever. It falls just behind the February 2013 blizzard, which brought 24.9 inches of snow. Tuesday’s storm took over the No. 6 spot from the January 2005 snowstorm, which blanketed Boston with 22.5 inches of snow.

Juno was nothing like the blizzard of two years ago – that was epic. It was a far cry from the whopping blast of ten years ago, boy howdy that sucked. But if Juno had been anywhere near as bad as those two, you might start to wonder if there were some sort of trend of really nasty snowstorms pounding Boston over the last decade. You might even wonder why great piles of snow kept falling from the sky.

But not Derek, he doesn’t have the time for such nonsense. His days are taken up with the business of proving how much smarter he is than you. And the business of being smarter than all the climate nerds, and the clouds. And the pouring rain.