Where I am moved to call someone buttface

A particularly beneficent blogger at American Thinker offers us all a choice. How nice of him, really. I do like choices.

Would you allow yourself to be groped to fight global warming?
By Pedro Gonzales

It’s an easy choice–let yourself be repeatedly sexually groped by a pervert, or accept the consequences of global warming. Which would you choose?

…those two options weren’t really on my radar tonight, Saturday evening. I was thinking more like ‘ale’ or ‘pilsner’, which are frankly both to my tastes. Anyway, how did we get here? And why is it I either take a thumb up the ass, or fry like Bill Buckley’s balls in Lucifer’s cupped embrace?

More than one in five Metro passengers were subjected to unwanted sexual advances or behavior while riding Metro trains and buses in Los Angeles County during the first half of 2014, according to a new survey.

Tee-hee, caution. Laaaaffffs ahead!

I so admire the liberals who do their duty every day, squeezing into those tightly filled buses like sardines in a can, letting themselves be leered at and squeezed and touched, all so the rest of us can live in a better environment.

This is what makes for comedy over there. The rancid sneer. Derision ha ha, whoopee. But there’s also…fucking brilliance, see?

Listen closely: if you have too many cars, and too few highways… create more highways! Check out the map below. The city should use eminent domain to take the land, and turn it over to private developers who will pay to build it in return for charging tolls on the new roads.

And this genius slapdashes 10 freeways across the map of L.A., all of them ending in downtown (which is the secret place all Angelenos want to go). This would only wipe out a few thousand homes, and the city’s budget for the next millennium or so, as well as pave over Hancock Park, Encino, and Griffith Park. And after the 50 or so years of lawsuits and wholesale demolition it would take, not to mention the rioting and homelessness, the city would hand all that real estate over to private contractors. Just so we could pay them tolls, to drive over our former homes. This is clearly a cracking idea, Grommit. And not at all the prospective work of a sociopath…

But since my suggestions will be ignored and nothing will be done, I salute liberals who continue to let themselves be fondled as part of their civic duty

…and by that I mean: fuck you, buttface.

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