The amazing courage of Scott Walker

Iowa is where the road to the presidency begins in 2016. It also happens to be the state where Wisconsin governor Scott Walker is currently killing it.

A new poll from Quinnipiac has Gov. Scott Walker (R-Wis.) up by a wide margin in the early caucus state of Iowa… Walker leads his closest competitor (Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky) by 12 points — and his net favorability (those who view him favorably versus those who don’t) is a legitimately stunning +50.

He’s the early front-runner. Which means he might eventually become the Republican candidate, so we better pay him some attention. The Governor spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington D.C. today:

…an audience member asked Walker how he would deal with threats like the Islamic State if he were president.

Which is a good question. I myself don’t have any answers to “What to do about ISIS?” I wouldn’t allow a single American soldier anywhere near them, I know that – we’ve done enough dying for the Middle East Good for awhile. But given the historic evil we’re seeing I understand the temptation to call in the Army. I’m certainly curious to hear how the candidate would deal with a mass-murdering death cult. What about it, Scott?

“I want a commander-in-chief who will do everything in their power to ensure that the threat from radical Islamic terrorists do not wash up on American soil. We will have someone who leads and ultimately will send a message not only that we will protect American soil but do not take this upon freedom-loving people anywhere else in the world,” he responded.

Walker would call in a satellite-guided platitude attack. He’d blow ISIS up with improvised banalities. He would never tolerate ‘threats’ landing on our shores, so you can bet he will ‘send a message.’ Tough talk there, Maddog.

I’d be a little more impressed, Scott, if you didn’t sound like Sybil’s whackier brother. “I want a commander-in-chief who will…”…who will what? Talk about himself in the first person? I don’t think Scott isn’t going to like that (…you could ask Scott). “We will have someone who leads…”…the Capitol loon parade, I suppose? The Bellevue case revue? What about having a leader who talks like the guy from Silence of the Lambs? Now the President of the United States: “Fellow Americans, it talks about Iraq tonight. It sends the 2nd Infantry into Mosul, then it puts some lotion in the basket.” Goodnight, god bless. Could you give us something more along the lines of strategy? Or something less in the first-person abstract?

“We need a leader with that kind of confidence. If I can take on a 100,000 protesters, I can do the same across the world.”

I see now, YOU would like to be commander-in-chief. And since it was YOU who attacked blue collar workers and took away their collective bargaining rights, you think you’re perfect for the job.

What a convincing case you make. Really, how difficult could it be to take on a jihadist army once you’ve stood up to the kindergarten teachers? As if Wisconsin’s janitors were any less dangerous than the religious fanatics who like burn people alive. ISIS controls twenty thousand miles of territory and two billion dollars in oil, banking and infrastructure assets – but you remember all those firefighters? They were organized by LABOR UNIONS. You know, domestic thugs. The kinds of goons you see prowling the sidewalks, all worked up over wages and working conditions. I believe, magister, that you can dismiss the jury – and fire the bailiff – because this case is closed.

He’s the best man for the job. And if any of you tank-driving rocket-firing assholes want a piece of Scott Walker, get ready for another trademark double-fisted helping of…this:

Almost two dozen protesters were arrested and issued $200.05 tickets Wednesday as Capitol Police cracked down on the long-running Solidarity Singalong…

Individuals who began to sing or shout at police were approached by police, asked to leave and arrested if they refused. At one point, a group of senior citizens linked hands and sang “we shall not be moved” before each was arrested.

Damn right. Pack it up, radicals – you’re through.

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2 thoughts The amazing courage of Scott Walker

  1. avatar Grung_e_Gene says:

    A tweet i read said Scott Walker had been battle tested in the Bill O’Lielly sense of the term.

  2. avatar toma says:

    How appropriate. Let’s see Fox News jump to Walker’s defense by saying the attacks on him are routine and cliche’ and they’re not going to talk about it anymore.

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