A gold medal in Jenner hysteria

With Monday’s Vanity Fair introduction of née-Bruce Caitlyn Jenner, there came the predictable cicada-hissing of disapproval and bongo-smacking of gobs from America’s right-wing. It was clear from that moment that Jenner would lose many of her former fans and friends. But then, of course, when Superman grows boobs and puts on an evening gown some of us will take it personally. Leading the way on this fiasco, as he does with most existential threats, Rush Limbaugh made a solid case for the morals crowd to throw off any temptations of tolerance.

He…dismissed a conservative blog that wrote that Republicans should embrace Jenner as one of their own to seem more humane, saying that doing so would constitute falling into a liberal trap.

Perhaps you, Mr. or Mrs. America, don’t give a damn about this person. Maybe you think ‘As long as she promises not to raise capital gains taxes or behead journalists in the Middle East, why should I care?’ You silly fools.

Under this system, “conservatives and Republicans are the new weirdos, the new kooks,” the pundit said, “and that is part of the political objective here in normalizing all of this really marginal behavior.”

C’mon people, she’s a freak! And if you’re not willing to point her out and let loose the Body Snatcher shrieking, where will we be? […our forefathers spent their lives clawing their way to the pinnacle of Finger-Pointing Normals, and you’d throw that away? Ahem.] To the fagbash!

The bracketed bit there may be less a direct quote of Limbaugh and more my reading his mind, but I stand by it. It’s clear that the emergence of a celebrity transgender Republican has unhinged the right-wingers.

You can bet that Canada’s National Post has noticed. The conservative rag found the perfect story to inoculate the swelling gender hysteria with a dose of nausea:

When he cut off his right arm with a “very sharp power tool,” a man who now calls himself One Hand Jason let everyone believe it was an accident.

But he had for months tried different means of cutting and crushing the limb that never quite felt like his own, training himself on first aid so he wouldn’t bleed to death, even practicing on animal parts sourced from a butcher…

People like Jason have been classified as ‘‘transabled’’ — feeling like imposters in their bodies, their arms and legs in full working order.

It’s called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, and it’s extremely rare. As far as cures for it, amputations are not prescribed. But for still-agitated conservatives, for whom the article was clearly intended, it was Caitlyn Jenner 2: I Hope You’re Happy Now.

Since when do we allow body mutilation as a substitute for fixing the mental issues?

Oh, when there is no objective standards and we live in a society where we reward victims – including those who find new ways to define victimhood and self-select for it.

Some of these people feel the need to cut off their penises, or gouge their eyes out. But what does modern American society do about it? It rewards them with the word “Transabled” in a Canadian news article. Frankly we’d all be better off letting Jeff Goldstein drag a few of these graspers into a darkened alley. That’d stop the whining toot suite, I bet.

Of course, only the politically popular feelings are to be celebrated and enforced. Try claiming to be recognized as a person of a different “race” because you feel like it, or demand respect for your religious feelings as a Jew or Christian.

Yeah, right.

What the hell, people? You’re allowed to be ‘disabled’ just by cutting your arms off? Real live Christians aren’t even allowed to slug Elton John impersonators! And they said that Lincoln ended slavery – this country has gone mad. And who would the liberals probably feel sorry for? The freak, of course.

Hello Rick Moran:

For once in my career as a writer, I really, really hope that this is some kind of parody because if not, the world has gone mad and insanity has become the norm.

Farewell my America. How I did love thee.

My congratulations to Profs Baril and Baldwin for not only their creativity in discovering this previously unknown sub-sub group of fakirs and charlatans, but also their balls in publishing about it.

One can imagine agitation by activists to give people the right to disable themselves while making it illegal to discriminate against the transabled worker. A whole body of law will be created to deal with this new human right. The UN will create an agency to make sure the transabled are protected. And before too long, we’ll have the first celebrity transabled person televising their transformation from able bodied to disabled.

Can’t wait.

Incidentally: Bring it on. Our world has trans-morphed into a maddening dystopia, hasn’t it? No one can quite figure out why “Transabled” is so awful, and there’s your proof. [hint: wanting to chop your leg off.] Joe Cunningham:

At times, it’s really hard to look at some of these trans-diagnoses on the Internet and not think “…Okay, really?” because it’s entirely possible that these people who pop up and say “My spleen is not mine!” are just attention-seeking crazy people. They don’t need news articles written about them. They need psychiatric care, and they need for an overly sensitive media to stop coddling them…

News article about you = love and affirmation. God knows why the Duggars are so uptight over the revelations of child molestation, they’re the biggest thing in media.

I normally try to be sensitive when it comes to trans issues, but transability is taking things way too far. We need to take a step back and figure out where the line is, because otherwise the inmates are going to be running a lot more than the asylum.

One day you people, you’ll see. You’ll nominate one of these freaks for president. And all your moonbat pity will sweep him into the White House. And when he walks into his first big press conference, he’ll pull a paring knife out of his pocket, cut off his balls and throw them on the floor. And then we’ll all say “I told you so.”