The Volokh Gunspiracy

Here really comes the silly. Something this entirely daft coming from Fred Thompson’s biggest fan, of all people, is a little surprising one would think. One would, or he might, but then let’s thank the Lord that one is only a single person. I mean so few people in our world being so plainly dumb, really aren’t we lucky?

After various highly publicized shootings, those of us who are skeptical about gun controls are often asked: So what are we suggesting should be done about the shootings? If we’re not suggesting gun controls…the argument goes, we’re not taking gun tragedies seriously.

Now feast your eyes upon Eugene Volokh. Because he’s going to take this latest mass shooting seriously. And there he goes! Squinching his face! Look!

Every day, about 30 people are killed in the U.S. in gun homicides or gun accidents (not counting gun suicides or self-inflicted accidental shootings). And every day, likely about 30 people are killed in homicides where the killer was under the influence of alcohol, plus alcohol-related drunk driving accidents and alcohol-related accidents where the driver wasn’t drunk but the alcohol was likely a factor…

So what are we going to do about it? When are we going to ban alcohol? When are we going to institute more common-sense alcohol-control measures?

Intoxicating liquids vs. lethal weapons. Could anybody possibly imagine a more insightful comparison? Hey people why can’t a free man have a Whiskey Sour AND a Krupp Howitzer? [*folds arms, raises brow, pushes tongue in cheek. tongue lingers but tries hard to get ahead at work, save money, woo tonsil, land low-interest loan to build modern design argument with split-level stupid.*] Eugene ventures off to wrestle this housefly and comes back much the wiser:

Well, we tried, and the conventional wisdom is that the cure was worse than the disease — which is why we went back to a system where alcohol is pretty freely available, despite the harm it causes.

If we banned all the guns – which is what no one nowhere wants, but let’s stay with Euge’ here because this is deadly serious, for him – then America would find itself in another Roaring Twenties. You’d see the Italians selling bathtub munitions on every street corner, and nobody would be able to sleep for the racket F. Scott and Zelda kept kicking up at that Shooteasy next door. And is that what all you people really want? Readily, cheaply available Mitragliatrices and angry zingers? Early Post World War One Period Post Art Nouveau Art Deco?!

Sanity please, let’s not pretend we could ever ban all the guns it isn’t possible. What’s that, mate? OUR REGARDS TO YOUR AL CAPONE.