Life After Death

What a windfall for The Patriots, huh? All of those French people killed, in far-off Paris. Pardonne moi – all of those Freedom people killed, ha suck it peacenik Euro pukes…[record scratch]…err, uhhh liberté egalité fraternité! I’m Franco-phalle! Vive les Big Nose-oise! Western Civilization rules! Yeah sure, you read that right – and you know what else? We already know exactly why this happened. This happened because…duh duh duh: They hate us for our Loving Christian Ways. Well if that isn’t the Chicken McNuggets of veritable truth. Y’okay, whatever, woo hoo! Red white and blue! Thousand foot aircraft carriers! No fly zones! Guided air strikes! Suck it irritable Arab pukes.

Have to say it couldn’t come at a better time, what with the Politics.

“Americans realize that the #1 goal of our government is not to protect the image of Islam. It’s to protect American citizens.”

Mike Huckabee couldn’t get the li’l ole ladies in Li’l Rock to answer Gallup’s phone calls, so it looked as if no one gave him a good god damn. Now the Baptist preacher is targeting followers of a rival religion – how surprising is that? I see a percentage bump in the polls coming, which is totally worth the sectarian cleansing. The guy wants to be president of Amerikkka, fair play to him.

Chris Christie wheels around from the buffet table, and strikes:

This president believes that global leadership is his fight on climate change while we have a quarter of a million people killed in Syria, and while we have now hundreds killed and wounded in the streets of Paris… The misuse of the Pope and the mischaracterization is typical rhetoric from Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton to disguise the fact that they don’t begin to understand that our first job is to protect the homeland… And now, believe me, there will be someone else to blame if there is an attack on American soil.

Apparently there are Democrats to blame for terrorism in Europe and Asia. As for attacks on American soil…

…it is because of the leadership that was provided by President George W. Bush, by Attorney General John Ashcroft, by Director Mueller at the FBI, and by the U.S. attorneys across this country…that were able to make sure that we didn’t have that happen again.

…Republicans managed to stop the other ones. Yeah there’s a 2001 terrorist attack that really matters, but it doesn’t count (no backsies). Senior year I clanked a free throw that would’ve won the city championship, but I finally made it yesterday [whew]. I was playing for the Driveway Deacons at the time – who wants to know?

“It’s not our obligation to take in all of the challenges of the world,” Bush said following an appearance at Wholly Smokin’ BBQ here Tuesday afternoon.

Says the guy who wants to invade Syria and Iran and send 100,000 American gunners back to you-know-where.

“There aren’t any Christian terrorists in the Middle East; they’re persecuted minorities,” said Bush…

“You can prove you’re a Christian,” he said. “I think you can prove it. If you can’t prove it, you err on the side of caution.”

Walked across the desert he did, with a Bible in each hand. Had a tattoo of Jesus on one arm and Timothy McVeigh on the other. And when he laid a hug on the dusty lad, Jeb couldn’t believe how ripped his abs were. Incidentally who does J.E. Bush think made it possible for ISIS to take over the Middle East – Hezbollah? When he stares across the table at Thanksgiving, whose beady-eye face does he see? Ricochet Rabbit?

Tuesday night, in an interview with Sean Hannity, Trump said he’d been “told by very, very good sources” that among Syrians, “if you’re a Christian, you can’t get into the United States,” but it’s easy “if you’re a Muslim.”

Now the cat’s out of the bag. Caliph Obama has been playing secret politics with an international crisis to favor a people he’s never met but adores from afar – the Musselmen of Aram. Who knew a loudmouth billionaire could outwit the Muslim mind? How taqiyya, President Imam. Verrry taqiyya.

Share

One thought Life After Death

  1. avatar SAm says:

    It must be true. He cited … Um. He has a source for his scoop. And not just a run of the mill source, either. A very VERY good one. In religious apologetics (and trump is now a religion) this amounts to irrefutable evidence.

    So suck it, libtards.

Comments are closed.