Mitch McConnell is a very good and honest man.

If the Senate’s anti-Constitutionalist Republicans aren’t beginning to feel the heat, then what’s this?

After Obama’s sneaky Supreme Court nomination of a very measured, moderate, lukewarm-tea-at-high-noon-with-Philippe-Petit-downtown-in-the-cafe-Piliers-du-Retenue centrist, Merrick Garland, these TV ramblings of Mitch McConnell’s that appear to be his feelings and opinions – though no sensible person certainly would ever assume he had anything to do with them, heavens, given the brazen unabashedness and feral abandonment denoted, though we just saw McConnell’s jowls bobbing along in humdrum synchronization – would have to be understood later, in somewhat sobriety, and in Christ’s good name, to be odd. Peculiar, perhaps. Strange.

In response to a question from host Chris Wallace, who asked if Senate Republicans would consider the nomination of Judge Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court after the election if Hillary Clinton prevails, McConnell responded that he “can’t imagine that a Republican majority in the United States Senate would want to confirm, in a lame duck session, a nominee opposed by the National Rifle Association [and] the National Federation of Independent Businesses.”

What a wonderful guy. You can ask Mitch McConnell what he personally thinks about the politics of the day but he’s too much a gentleman to answer. However he will note that there are some people other people call “Republicans” – not that he’s got anything to do with them, mind you, don’t make that mistake – and that, if he recalls correctly, those people currently comprise what political philosophers call a “majority” in some kind of hazy political institution. Which incidentally would be…what? The “United States Senate”? Hey kudos to this Mitchell person, he knows some seriously trivial stuff.

Judging by his tone, not to mention his humility, and if his memory serves, which it does so aren’t we lucky, the entrenched politicians within that “Senate” are a far-flung and powerful bunch of people, cantankerous and unpredictable as hell, to such extent that there’s no point in us talking sense to them, or about them, or predicting what they might do (except in this case). Not that he would ever deign to criticize them, no – your man Mitch would never dare to impugn so august a body, certainly not by implying he has ever been aware of it, or had some sort of relationship with it, or is currently running it as the Majority Leader after having been elected to it five times and serving within it for thirty one years. Nor would genteel Mitch ever suggest that he had called up, bullied over, bloodied up, directed to connive, consort and conspire with or received manifold manic-monkey blowjobs from the likes of “the National Rifle Association [and] the National Federation of Independent Businesses” inside the Wade Hampton men’s room, off the breezeway from Statuary Hall, as part of his sterling “service” to our country.

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