The ways in which Trump is actually winning

Don’t look now, but Donald Trump is winning. And he’s winning big. Seriously. Really, this is the truth.

“The polling numbers for Donald Trump are looking pretty bad now, aren’t they at the moment?” reporter Matt Frei asked.

“Not all of them, no. Just the cherry-picked polling numbers that are put out by media outlets that are also bent on his destruction,” Conway responded…

If it looks bad, that’s because there’s a conspiracy among the media to make the election appear that way. In reality Trump is solidly out in front of Hillary Clinton.

Conway explained American voters are under social pressure to appear as though they dislike Trump, but that anonymous online polling affords voters the ability to make choices they might otherwise be ridiculed for publicly embracing.

“It’s because it’s become socially desirable, especially if you’re a college educated person in the United States of America, to say that you’re against Donald Trump,” Conway described.

Once you allow educated people to poll anonymously then Donald *ding ding* wins. How about that? Now the only thing his campaign needs is millions of black glasses and rain coats for the college types. The perv vote is solidly in Donald’s camp.

Doocy asked Zip’s creator Alanna Markey, “OK, so your results are a lot different than the — what we see of the RealClearPolitics average…Alanna, explain why the answer — your results are so much different than the polls we’ve been seeing.”

Why does Zip show Donald Trump winning? Good question.

Markey explained that Zip is not a polling device, but “an anonymous conversation that’s happening nationwide. And we have users that are over 13 across the U.S., exclusively in the U.S. So because it’s conversational we feel like that’s why our results are really so accurate and representative of how people are talking.”

Trump is winning because teenagers love the internet. They also love voting in presidential elections, let’s not forget that. That’s the thing that really matters.

An executive recruiter by trade, it’s his hobby of internet trolling that has turned him into an unlikely conservative star.

In the last year, Mitchell has amassed a following of tens of thousands of Twitter followers, nearly 70,000 and counting, who come for his insistence that, despite what nearly every poll says, Donald Trump will be elected president of the United States.

Bill Mitchell has it all figured out.

…mainstream polling is skewed to disenfranchise the “silent majority” of Americans who favor the Republican nominee’s ideas.

…Mitchell says you don’t have to look further than the size of the crowds each candidate commands. While Trump fills stadiums designed for monster truck rallies and rock concerts, Clinton tends to address audiences of a more modest size. A beltway pundit might call that an enthusiasm gap or simply a matter of staging, but Mitchell calls it a conspiracy.

Mitchell has become a popular man in right-wing circles. He’s cashed in on Twitter and elsewhere by thrilling his Trumpster throng with Zen koans like this:

“Imagine polls don’t exist,” Mitchell tweeted on Aug. 7, “Show me evidence Hillary is winning?”

Well, you can’t argue with that. Literally – you can’t argue with it. If I can’t ask who all you people will vote for, the truth can’t be known. The denial is strong in this one, don’t count him out. Also, it is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary etc. etc.

For our fellow narcissists, there’s this:

Despite surveys that show Trump faltering, many of the Republican candidate’s supporters at a rally Thursday told BuzzFeed News why they think he is actually leading the presidential race.

“I don’t believe in the polls,” said Phillip Morgon, who attended the rally with two friends from Concord, North Carolina. “They ain’t called us.”

It’s the ultimate response. The uber-parry for reality’s thrust. The perfect Trump card. How can the pollsters be right when they never asked me?

Proof of Trump’s dominance can be demonstrated by the size of his rallies, compared with Clinton’s smaller events, which are held in gymnasiums, he said. Gesturing around the room before the rally began, he added, “I’ll bet most of the people here never got called for a poll.”

Nevermind that a good number of Trump supporters have been called, and polled, and said they supported Donald. Until every last one of the faithful is contacted by Gallup, or Zogby or PPP, how could the truth really be known? How could any predictions possibly be accurate?

Douglas Breeding had the same thought.

“Nobody has asked me,” said Breeding. “I don’t see people on social media saying that they support Hillary Clinton. I think mainstream media manipulates polls to benefit her so that people think there is no reason to vote. I believe Trump is up, and he will win in November by a big margin.”

There’s a certain familiar quality to all this. For the man who believes he’s the center of the universe, his supporters won’t give up until every last one of them is consulted. Hang in there, kid.