In the shaky aftermath of 9/11, a good part of America – or we, *shudder* – once called him America’s Mayor. Millions of us looked to him for re-assurance that the country was going to be OK. We were glad to have him help us through a horrible, terrible tragedy. Nowadays, unfortunately, we only need to call him a comfy padded wagon. We all need to chip in and get Rudy Giuliani a ride to the sanitarium because he has completely lost it.
MATTHEWS: Do you think there were any signs of illness last night by the former secretary of state? Signs of illness?
GIULIANI: No, but I thought there were the day before when she coughed for about, I don’t know, 15 minutes and then coughed on the airplane and then spit something up. I don’t know what’s wrong with her but they kind of hide her…
Hide her? Umm, where? YouTube, so Dr. Mayor can diagnose her from the den? This is the way he conducted himself on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews last night, lobbing one spit-flecked grenade after another while offering the ole’ hey I’m only saying – as if he weren’t completely apeshit. The typhoid troofers of course have seen Clinton kaffing on and off for as long as two minutes [TIMED IT], but in Rudy’s hardboiled detective role as Trumpule Poirot (née Google) Giuliani actually saw the death rattle go on for “I don’t know, 15 minutes.” Then the candidate went and “spit something up,” you know, as in The Ghost. How we’re supposed to watch a tooth-gnashing troll hnngh! about Hillary from some abandoned bridge and still end up voting against her, I don’t know.
As close as Donald and Rudy are – and they talk to each other every day, with Rudy I’m betting phoning in 99% of the time and not the other way around – I get the sense that these are Trump’s paranoid nauseations duly regurgitated. Donald regularly wakes up early in the morning, hunts down every web-post and tweet about himself, and loads the bile cannon in his brain, taking dead aim at his enemies. Rudy apparently never questions whatever the Donald rants at him over the phone, and there you have it. But there are a few corn kernels here to be poked at entirely borne of Rudy’s own guts, shot from deep within his own clodhopping schizoid glory, and they are precious. Completely insane.
GIULIANI: They gave away the defense of the Czech Republic and Poland to reset the relationship with Russia for nothing. The day they did that, Putin, who is a KGB killer, figured out I can push these guys around the world. They will not — he will not be able to push Donald Trump around the world. Believe me…
If you read history, right, if you read Gorbachev’s memoirs, Gorbachev memoirs said the key thing in winning the Cold War was our insistence on nuclear defense, because they knew they couldn’t match us. We have proven in Israel that nuclear defense works.
As to Poland and the Czech Republic…WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT?
But then this – THIS? “We have proven in Israel that nuclear defense works.” There is no nuclear defense. There is no Star Wars, or SDI, in existence anywhere on this planet. Nor has it ever been developed by us, nor is it being used by the Israelis. It was a Reagan-era fantasy, a laughable hoax only possible in 3-D cgi space movies, and it remains nothing more than that today.
What Israel has deployed is a radar missile system (Iron Dome). It takes out about 90% of the rockets launched at them locally. Qassam rockets have a range of about 10 miles and carry an explosive payload of up to 20 kilograms. Do I have to point out the functional differences between that and a nuclear weapon? Do I have to explain to you, or him, what an ICBM, or a warhead, is? For starters you can compare explosive payloads, noting whatever difference there is between 20 kilograms and 20 million tons.
GIULIANI: Here’s why nuclear defense makes sense. And I know something about this. A missile can take an airplane out of the air. A better missile can take a missile out of the air…
MATTHEWS: okay. We don’t have a strategic defense — we don’t have a strategic defense system.
GIULIANI: And here’s the worst thing …
MATTHEWS: We just don’t have one.
GIULIANI: I asked Secretary Gates, what did they get in return for giving up the nuclear shield of Poland and the Czech Republic? And you know what his answer was? Nada. They got nothing.
Giuliani’s defensive bubble would have to knock out multiple missiles simultaneously, without missing a single one. You see the problem that will daunt scientists for decades to come. The “shield” over Poland and the Czech Republic never existed and won’t exist anytime soon – not in our lifetime. But that fact won’t stop Rudy’s eyes from bulging out of his villainous baboon skull in apoplexy over some psychotic thing his synapses have misfired about Barack Obama, or Hillary Clinton. Beneficence begs us to place Rudy Giuliani in an institution, tomorrow. He is completely gone.