Clean-up on aisle Giuliani

It seems like only 3 weeks ago your blogging pal noticed that Hizzoner Noun Verb Nine-Eleven had gone completely nerfdoodle bonkers.

Now we only need to call him a padded wagon. Because somebody needs to get Rudy Giuliani a comfy ride to the sanitarium, he has completely lost it…

Well, readers. I regret to inform you that as of yet no one who cares about him – or who cares about listening to a septuagenarian troll skreeing about the Mexicans and Hitlery Clinton, who gesticulates like Kali swatting at horse flies while crazy-rudyhis terrifying eyes begin bugging out of his head like greasy Titleists – has seen fit to take pity on the sorry asshole and dollied him off to a sanitarium.

Which would be merciful, to say the least. And would, in addition, have the tangential benefit of preventing more ugly incidents…like this one:

“At CFA’s 40 Under 40 Awards last Thursday night, keynote speaker Rudolph Giuliani veered sharply off course from the leadership message he agreed to deliver and presented unscripted personal opinions which were independent of CFA’s political position or core values,” Bob Trojan, the group’s CEO, wrote in an email sent to attendees and forwarded to the Observer…

The note continued: “For those of you who were offended by Mr. Giuliani’s remarks, please accept my sincere apology.”

As you may have guessed, the middle baritone for the Old Grey Mare Singers went full-blown Clinton Apocalypse Hnngh! on the Commercial Finance Association and left the assembled onlookers…stunned.

…an attendee told the Observer the crowd was “shocked” by Giuliani’s comments and that some people began complaining about his speech almost immediately after it was over.

“Rudy talked about immigration and made a really, really inappropriate comment about the quote-unquote Mexicans in the kitchen at the Waldorf,” the attendee said. “It was bad. You could hear a pin drop. I think he was looking for applause.”

A second person in attendance also recalled a remark about Mexicans coming to the country to work illegally in kitchens.

The guest speaker was so offensive that the superboring CFA were reduced to rendering a version of the inclusivity kumbaya with their keyboards.

“CFA abhors discrimination of any kind whether it is focused on race, age or gender. We are a nonpartisan organization with relationships spanning both sides of the aisle, which is vital to ensure that our positions are understood no matter which party is in office. These beliefs and approaches will never change,” the email reads.

As for America’s Schizoid Disorder, some folks have begun to notice.

The apology for Giuliani’s speech was sent Monday, just a day before the Commercial Observer reported that Giuliani had been axed as the keynote speaker for a conference held by the International Council of Shopping Centers—following letters from real estate professionals who deemed him divisive for his outspoken support of Trump.

Also this week, you may have seen Rudy attacking Hillary Clinton with the Limp Bizkit-era insults “Monica” and “Lewinsky,” then concluding she’s “too stupid to be president.” You may have also seen Rudy advising Donald Trump to avoid debating her again, because illuminatus Bilderberg Lester Holt. Which, for whatever reason, is a sane idea.