From time to time, we check in upon the ultra-Christian, ultra-wingnut decapitating Mexican drug cartel, La Familia Michoacana. Breaking: in another setback, LFM’s latest leader has been captured.

Leader of “La Familia Michoacana” captured in Toluca
Milenio online | 3-20-12

Elements of the Public Safety Secretariat (SSC) arrested Juan Carlos Coránguez Gonzalez, “El Rojo,” leader of La Familia Michoacana while staff of the same unit said six other suspected kidnappers, including a woman, were captured during an operation in the south of the state on the border with the state of Guerrero.

Juan Carlos Coránguez González, “El Rojo,” captured

Through its official Twitter account, the security minister, Salvador Neme Sastré, revealed the capture of “El Rojo”, but without giving further details about the operation . .

After La Familia had their founder and spiritual leader killed and had many of their faithful split off into Los Caballeros Templarios, the group hasn’t been as strong as they once were. A couple days ago, rivals of La Familia exacted tit-for-tat revenge:

Mexico police find 10 heads outside slaughterhouse
KSNT.com

ACAPULCO, Mexico (AP) — Mexican authorities have found 10 severed heads dumped outside a slaughterhouse in a town in northern Guerrero state. They are still looking for the bodies.

A statement from the Teloloapan police says the heads of seven men and three women were left with a message that appears to threaten the La Familia Michoacana drug cartel. The warning says: “This is going to happen to all those who support the FM.”

Sunday, the cops went out looking for the bodies, and . .

ACAPULCO, Mexico — Gunmen ambushed and killed 12 police officers who had been sent to search for the bodies of 10 people whose severed heads were found in southern Guerrero state, authorities said Monday.

Guerrero state police spokesman Arturo Martinez said six state and six local officers were killed Sunday night on a road leading out of the town of Teloloapan. Another 11 officers were wounded.

These folks are a God-fearing bunch. As that guy is really crazy.

News reaches us from the Cotton-Mather-C.H.U.D.s. Can you believe it? They’re still digging.

To wit: At the top of Renew America’s charts this morning, the Christian go-to site for politics, its the righteous refrain of Selwyn Duke and his Pasted Chastes. Fire up the old Firestone Air Chief, gals, and huddle ’round. Let the sound of sex panic wash over you like the pneuma of a plague.

A woman close to me once characterized the sea change in our society well. “Years ago you knew who the bad girls were,” said she. “Now you know who the good girls are.”

So it begins. The giant god-fearing blog decides, today, to attack Sandra Fluke.

Now, I’ll leave it to you to determine her implication, but I’ll say that if a female law student is engaging in so much sexual congress that she’s spending a mint on birth-control, I wouldn’t reflexively assume she’s a slut.

. . 2 . . 1 . .

Because I’d wonder how she was working her way through law school.

You thought we blew past this days ago. You were wrong. These topics, women’s reproductive health and contraception, are freighted with moral complexities you, so far, have refused to understand. That’s why the fire drill for crotch politics stretches into, what, week 3? Where are you going? Get back here. Square people want to tell you about the coitus. Square people really need to, apparently.

Really, though, if such a woman doesn’t deserve slut status, who does? Is the word now obsolete? Have we become like a Barbary-pirate nation where the term “thief” may be out of style because its use may offend the majority?

So get out your textbooks on civil rights, social justice, healthcare’s role in modern society, human behavior, and whatever you’ve got on privacy issues. After so many days of one side simply calling Fluke “a slut,” the tenor of discussion is about to ratchet, ehh, somewhere. I sense something’s about to get plenty deep (never mind the discussion).

Remember that copulation among unmarried people that requires birth control used to be called fornication; now they call it recreational sex. But it’s called “recreational” for a reason.

It’s done for recreation.

Ba-doom-pah. Yes, the First Annual Colloquy for Serious Chatter About Your Sex Life opens today. You’re invited. And look who’s offering the plenary lecture of the debut assembly? Duke! Selwyn Duke, everybody.

So the question is, why should taxpayers be forced to fund someone’s salacious conception of recreation? Hey, pay for my golf, too, okay? That can be expensive also.

This is much better. The petty fears and hang-ups pushed aside. Our two sides finally generating an adult discussion about sex.

Meanwhile, oh-so chivalrous Barack Obama placed a phone call to feminist Fluke to offer his support — and increase his among the fairer sex. I guess he’s that certain type of man who uses loose women for personal gain.

I anticipate some sort of porque detente soon. Maybe later today.

You don’t think money has corrupted our politics? Meet the man who’s bankrolling Rick “Triojans hurt women” Santorum. His name’s Foster Friess. If Rick is some Medieval scold, Foster might be Minoan:

On this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so, such inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly.

. . and you wonder why we’ve been fighting over contraception for a week? Because big money sets the agenda. Don’t fall for “This is silly, Andrea,” Foster Friess is having his way. You’re pre-occupied with sex, incidentally, and need a psychiatrist.

Is this news? Or should I say, “Kentucky — what did you expect?”

The school superintendent for Hart County has seen the end-of-course test for Biology, and he’s shocked. So much evolution. Is this really what we want? Is it the right thing to do?

“I have a deep concern about the increased emphasis on the evolution content required,” [Ricky D.] Line wrote. “After carefully reviewing the Blueprint, I find the increase is substantial and alarming.”

Line contends that the Blueprint essentially would “require students to believe that humans … evolved from primates such as apes and … were not created by God.”

Before we argue over what students eventually believe, I’ll say that Biology just happens to be Biology. To paraphrase a better scientist, nothing in it makes sense except in the light of evolution. There’s no way to get a grasp on one without the other. It would be like trying to teach students to be doctors while embargoing the topic of respiration.

“My argument is, do we want our children to be taught these things as facts? Personally, I don’t,” Line said. “I don’t think life on earth began as a one-celled organism. I don’t think that all of us came from a common ancestor … I don’t think the Big Bang theory describes the explanation of the origin of the universe.”

You think your personal beliefs suddenly matter? And you are . . who? A school prophet or a bureaucrat? The growing narcissism of Christians is dumbfounding. I don’t dictate your sermons, Ricky, and I’m wise enough not to be your pastor.

But, from your comments, you’re a schools chief seeking to block the teachings of a number of fields of science, including Biology, Physics and Astronomy. You oppose curiosity, rational thought, and intellectual development. As it would be with any science illiterate superintendent, you must be fired (tarred and feathered, even better).

Centuries of hard work by millions of people, all to develop these robust disciplines we know as science. What’s the result? Americans are living better, longer lives than ever before. But because of Ricky’s personal feelings, he would professionally block Hart County students from knowing about any of it.

Why do you hate America, Ricky?

Dear Peach State: How goeth the wyfe beating?

Lest the windy witchery take hold, lest the demons accost your dual overhead cam, twin-turbo Clydesdale and fright it into the weeds, the Politickmen of Georgia have come up with A Good Idea. Whereas the law demanded the county where you reside be printed on your license plate; Whereas some folks wanted it replaced by “In God We Trust”: Whereas the law made it possible for folks to get a sticker to cover up the county with “In God We Trust”; All Georgia license plates will now display “In God We Trust.” And if a fanged warlock like you doesn’t want to drive around in a 4,000 pound billboard for an Old Testament vapor, the government will allow you to buy the county sticker to cover it up ( . . ye burn . . ).

The new law would flip the one on the books:

(a) Any special, distinctive, or prestige license plate, except those provided for in Code Sections 40-2-61, 40-2-62, 40-2-74, 40-2-82, and 40-2-85.1 or as otherwise expressly provided in this chapter, shall contain a space for a county name decal. The provisions of this chapter relative to county name decals shall be applicable to all such license plates. Every license plate manufactured on or after July 1, 2012, for use in this state shall contain our nation’s motto, ‘In God We Trust,’ printed thereon. The motto shall be printed in the same space and with the same dimensions as the county name decal formerly required to be contained on license plates in this state.

(b) The department shall make available to all license plates recipients a decal with the same dimensions as the printed ‘In God We Trust’ motto containing only the county name. decal that contains the words, ‘In God We Trust.’ The department shall charge any person requesting such county name decal no more than the cost to the department for the manufacture and distribution of such decal. Such decal may be displayed in the space reserved for the county name decal in lieu of the county name decal our nation’s motto.”

Good to know the sight and sound of your Ferrari Nympho will no longer trouble next door’s Sky Gazers. But when you drive it into a ditch, like all demon-free Christians, it will sink like a stone.


via Dispatches and Secular News Daily

Yet another evangelical that could use some rudimentary schooling. When you receive Christ, he rearranges your DNA, says Damon. It’s true, he knows of some woman who police and prosecutors probably had to let go because her DNA wasn’t her DNA.

Why exactly would Jesus do that? Damon seems to hint that maybe you should sidestep convictions for previous crimes. So much for atonement.

They let her go? Actually, once her immune system turned her into a bloody pool of goo, she just oozed out under the front door. She had days left to die a horrible, painful death.

Always the same with these evangelical preachers. They know everything there is to know about the Jews. They’re experts on what’s happened to the chosen people. They’re authorities on the state of Israel. And they know exactly what will happen to every Jew in the future: Christianity for some, violent death for the rest. It’s always the same.

This is obnoxious to hear, obviously. But it becomes downright offensive when ‘prophets’ reveal the true nature of the Jewish people.

Minister Mike Bickle is that type of guy. Bruce Wilson of talk2action.org put together a compilation of the International House of Prayer leader’s delivering definitive pronouncements on the Jews. Taken as a whole, they make it clear Bickle believes Jews deserve every rotten break they’ve gotten:

The Lord says, “I’m going to give all 20 million of them the chance. To respond to the fisherman. And I give them grace. And I give them grace.”

And he says, “And if they don’t respond to grace, I’m going to raise up the hunters.” And the most famous hunter in recent history is a man named Adolf Hitler.

Bickle’s message: Jews don’t want His grace. As a result, God once slaughtered them by the millions through the action of His hunter, Adolf Hitler.

If you say “God scattered Israel,” the Jews will really be offended. They go, “Oh. God scattered us?” Uh-huh. “Well, I thought the evil guys did.”

Well, you’re under the discipline of God, because of your perversion and sin.

Bickle’s message: Jews don’t act right. As a result, they suffer punishment from the Lord.

I wouldn’t call this preaching intelligent, godly, positive, or reflective of the message of Christ. I think it’s the product of a tiny mind bent on the grandest self-service. To our Jewish friends: pay it no mind.

Fundamentalists are apparently uneasy with October. The end of the month drags evil into this world. The “Halloween” poses a serious challenge for real Christians, and the costume party would best be eradicated.

Regular folks pretending to be demons, children dressing as witches — these are wild, satanic behaviors. Who knew? They did: souls are lost to “Halloween.” And, but, what the hell do you care? Naw, nothing. Typical. Yes, this is exactly as Lucifer operates.

Well, here come the Calvary:

The Lord Christ finally gets a holiday all his own. Check the fireworks:

Whew. Temporary-evil children come to your house, come upon your door, dressed as angels, or rapists, or dentists. You shall fill their candy-sacks with Bibles . .

. . or, perhaps, bleach-white Press On Nails. Imagine the joy on their faces. Imagine the acrylic and poisonous polymer on their cuticles. Imagine the catcalls from 9 year-old Johns.

Imagine going as a crazy Christian for Halloween. Then the deal’s not so bad . .

Headline: Notions of proper government shift wildly. Or: Alabama continues to be Alabama. Or maybe: Legal fisherman lure Supreme Court sanctions. What would we do, fellow agnostics and atheists, without stupid, insulting crap like this? Sleep soundly?

Ala. town’s criminals get choice: Jail or church
CBS News

BAY MINETTE, Ala. – Authorities say non-violent offenders in southern Alabama will have a new choice: Go to jail, or go to church every Sunday for a year . .

The city judge in Bay Minette will let misdemeanor offenders choose to work off their sentences in jail and pay a fine; or go to church every Sunday for a year.

If offenders select church, they’ll be allowed to pick the place of worship but must check in weekly with the pastor and police.

This is a dodge around the First Amendment’s protections, I think. A judge’s discretion may be independent from a government’s imprimatur. Though this is certainly a violation of the spirit of the Bill of Rights, no doubt.

If you ask me, you can send the convicted to a yoga class. Or teach him breathing techniques to manage his impulses. Or maybe give him boxing lessons? Anything but 52 visits to Magic Bullshit Crucifix Mountain. Church might as well be porpoise whistle lessons.

If you haven’t been brought up in the mythology, who cares? It’s laughably stupid. Christ is all powerful, but he can’t appear before us? He intervenes frequently in his world in order to destroy your loved ones? He’s a loving God whose home for his most precious creation is frighteningly chaotic and hopelessly violent? I’m not buying it.

Now the government would have you swallow this crap. Why? Because the people who run the government had obedient, unthinking parents, and it’s time they told you the same thing: Religion is Good Magic. And Good Magic will cure the problems we’ve always avoided. It will turn these petty criminals to civilized jello, and what was that about the ‘cheesemakers’ again? *BOING* I’m a good person now, thank you, Jesus.

Cue dolt Dennis Prager:

The intellectual class and the left still believe that secularism is an unalloyed blessing. They are wrong. Secularism is good for government. But it is terrible for society (though still preferable to bad religion) and for the individual.

One key reason is what secularism does to moral standards. If moral standards are not rooted in God, they do not objectively exist.

What I am is firmly rooted in my morality. But there’s no ‘God’ there. So, Prager-wise, I’m not here, tearing him a fresh asshole. I must be Christ.

There are plenty of people in our fair country who are un-American. Proudly un-American. Virulently un-American. And when their un-Constitutional behavior runs afoul of the courts and the law, they get pummeled. There should be penalties, and there are:

Pulaski pays $230,000 in fees in 10 Commandments case
Bill Estep | Kentucky.com

Pulaski County has paid $231,662 to cover its share of costs in a legal battle the county lost over attempts to post copies of the Ten Commandments in the courthouse.

The American Civil Liberties Union of Kentucky received the check Friday, according to a news release.

This case goes all the way back to 1999. Administrators and judges posted the 10 Commandments throughout their courthouses but then, rightfully, got sued. At any time, I’m sure Pulaski and McCreary Counties could have ended the legal proceedings and settled for far less. But they pressed on, believing the angry leprechaun in the sky would intervene on their behalf and render a judgment in their favor.

Wrong. You violated the law. You spit on the United States Constitution, you commie Al Qaeda suns-a-bitches. You thought God made government, but you were wrong. You want a Jesus-government? Try the Middle Ages, with its torture and providential Black Plague.

Where is Kentucky, anyway: greater Pakistan?

“It’s very much a hardship,” said Doug Stephens, who was not in office when previous local officials authorized putting up a copy of the Ten Commandments in the courthouse.

Stephens said he and Pulaski County Judge-Executive Barty Bullock plan to send a letter to national religious organizations, such as Focus on the Family and the Trinity Broadcasting Network, in hopes of getting donations to help cover the counties’ loan payments. “Obviously, it’s going to be better if the debt is paid off with donations rather than taxpayer dollars,” Stephens said.

So Kentucky’s courts pretend to be governmental, but they’re religious. Their courthouse activists fight it out with the nation’s legal system to affirm their Biblical legitimacy, but they lose. When they’re forced to pay for the loss, they beg Paul Crouch and James Dobson. That’s just brilliant.

Muslims. Idiots. Crazies. Sand snotters. Gosh, how to hide your joy when you’re face-to-face with a bug-eyed Islamist? Quote the inimitable Abu Ibrahim:

“Allah has struck New York and the capital city Washington by an earthquake as a punishment for their disbelief.

“Such a little earthquake that measured 6.0 has terrified the tyrant American people and forced them to leave their houses and places of work . . ”

Unbelievable. Who does this Ibrahim think he is? Some all-knowing Ayatollah? Say ‘hello’ to Allah’s best pal, everybody. You gotta be some kinda asshole to think you know why an earthquake happens. Medieval motherfucker.

. . conservative blogger Joseph Farah insisted the quake was more than a naturally-occurring tectonic shift. The WorldNetDaily publisher wrote that instead, the 5.8 magnitude earthquake was a sign from God that D.C. politics must change, a sign amplified by the one-two punch of the earthquake and the approaching hurricane Irene.

“Occasionally God really does shake things up as a sign to us of the consequences of disobedience and indifference to our Creator,” Farah wrote in his op-ed.

Well, Joseph’s a good man (Jesus too). He’s right, we should pay closer attention to our Creator. Listen to him. Couldn’t hurt, right? I’m tired of all the overheated politics and arguing anyway, Lord. I’m going to get back to being real. It’s time for sanity.

“[T]his earthquake is a warning to the crusaders to stop their infidel policy, abandon their crusader religion and convert to the true Islamic religion,” Ibrahim explained. “If they don’t listen and don’t stop, Allah will strike them again by an earthquake or a hurricane. You have no other way but to repent and move away from your path that will take you to the abyss.”

Fucking Muslims. Why don’t you go back to the 15th century, Abu? Don’t forget to take your goats-bladder iPad and convertible camel with you. Galileo called, he said, “See you in the next millenium, Hassan.” You people are cavemen.

. . the Second Coming of Christ is near! Just ask the Reverend Pat Robertson . . He said the disaster “means that we’re closer to the coming of the Lord” . .

“It seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power. It has been the symbol of our great nation. We look at the symbol and we say ‘this is one nation under God.’ Now there’s a crack in it … Is that a sign from the Lord? …

You know, this sort of thing really makes me wonder. C’mon, a D.C. earthquake? And now the Washington Monument’s got a crack in it — that’s freaky. That’s CHILL BUMPS, brother. Message time, friend. And, hey, Pat Robertson’s a man of God.

Senior Kuwaiti Official: “Katrina is a Wind of Torment and Evil from Allah Sent to This American Empire”

“Oh honored gentlemen, I began to read about these winds, and I was surprised to discover that the American websites that are translated are talking about the fact that that the storm Katrina is the fifth equatorial storm to strike Florida this year…

“. . I opened the Koran and began to read in Surat Al-R’ad, and stopped at these words: ‘The disaster will keep striking the unbelievers for what they have done, or it will strike areas close to their territory, until the promise of Allah comes to pass, for, verily, Allah will not fail in His promise. ‘

God damn this Shurizz A-Rad-Turban, or whatever. Placing his stupid, smelly religion at the center of all our suffering. Talking about the deaths of people he doesn’t even know! How could anybody be so arrogant? I guess Allah’s a big fan of assholes. Typical. Fucking. Muslim. Go live in a desert, tent monkey. Have fun digging for water, Akbar. Go to hell, pal.

On this little blog, I write about how right-wing psyches drive (conservative) political behavior. So the posts tend to migrate toward the strange, the consistently disturbed, the sexually depraved, the furious, the baselessly paranoid, and, perpetually, the irrational.

Given that, the current crop of Conservative presidential candidates provides me with a goldmine, blog-wise. Very few people I know can be this fucked up and still do their jobs. Yet these grotesques beg to run the greatest, most complex country in the history of the planet? Go ahead and try, folks, and my job only gets funnier.

Michele Bachmann? Medievally stupid, as a gargoyle. Or as Jesus-God’s vicious groupie, if he sang for a boy band. He’s awesome and He wrote all of their songs and they voted Him the greatest ever. She’d be the frantic in the backstage alley, scaring off the other star fuckers after the Kid Bible and The Gethsemane Eleven show.

She only can go on as part of His story. Whatever the lyrics say, that’s her.

My husband said, now you need to go and get a post-doctorate degree in tax law. Tax law? I hate taxes. Why should I go and do something like that? But the Lord said, “Be submissive. Wives you are to be submissive to your husband.” And so we moved to Virginia Beach, Virginia, and I went to William and Mary Law School there, for a post-doctorate degree in tax law. And I pursued this course of study. Never had a tax course in my background, never had a desire for it, but by faith, I was going to be faithful to what I felt God was calling me to do through my husband.

That’s what He wants. He talks, through dusty texts, and Michele listens. Or the husband talks, Marcus. The fallible, closeted, overachieving homosexual. Plenty of sane folks wondered if, as president, we weren’t really considering him for Commander in Chief.

BYRON YORK: In 2006, when you were running for Congress, you described a moment in your life when your husband said you should study for a degree in tax law. You said you hated the idea. And then you explained, “But the Lord said, ‘Be submissive. Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands.’” As president, would you be submissive to your husband? . .

MICHELE BACHMANN: Marcus and I will be married for 33 years this September 10th. I’m in love with him. I’m so proud of him. And both he and I — what submission means to us, if that’s what your question is, it means respect. I respect my husband. He’s a wonderful, godly man, and a great father. And he respects me as his wife. That’s how we operate our marriage.

Well, she’s bullshitting now, isn’t she? She’s toning down the fan-girl, wearing sleeves to cover up the tattoos so she can get through the job interview. Doesn’t matter how you describe your ‘respect,’ submission is denying your judgment and will. Bachmann’s legendary, if not ecstatic, description of how she ended up a distasteful tax attorney appeases the ancient biblical entreaty.

And apologists cannot elevate it:

As ‘submissive’ wife, Bachmann delicately treads Bible, modernity
David Goldstein | McClatchy Newspapers | Wed, Aug. 17, 2011

. . Peter Sprigg, a senior fellow for policy studies at the conservative Family Research Council, said he believed that concerns over a tension between Bachmann’s adherence to an ancient biblical code and her duties should she become president were misplaced.

. . Sprigg said most evangelical Christians don’t believe that a husband is a “dictator,” but that both he and his wife should discuss issues thoroughly and try to reach consensus.

“The idea of a wife submitting to her husband is kind of a tiebreak,” he said. “Only those circumstances where they’re unable to reach a consensus is it necessary for the wife to exercise this.”

Married women will appreciate this. When they agree with their husbands, the husbands get their way. When they disagree with their husbands but later change their minds, the husbands get their way. When they disagree with their husbands and refuse to give in — then it becomes a ‘tie.’ That’s when it’s “necessary” for wives to become submissive, and the husbands get their way. This is pathetic.