Category: dang

Why Godzilla is a box office bomb

You know why so many modern re-makes suck?

The Women dealt with a group of gals who spend their days shopping, taking exercise classes, being pampered at health spas, seeing analysts and gossiping. In other words, the characters lampooned as rich, social-climbing harpies in 1939, are models of today’s successful female; hardly the stuff for a popular satire.

Because America used to be a better place. The Thirties were a far saner time. I mean women going to spas? Seeing their psychiatrists? That used to be the sort of satire I could enjoy. Now it’s normal, sigh.

Similarly, the remakes of The Adventures of Robin Hood and True Grit failed, not only because of the impossibility of replacing iconic actors, Errol Flynn and John Wayne, but because of a lack of understanding of the values underlying the characters.

The characters were real men. John Wayne played an unrepentant killer for example.

Robin Hood and Rooster Cogburn, in spite of their devil-may-care attitudes, embodied a fierce loyalty to a code of honor bigger than themselves; a concept totally foreign to today’s movie makers and most of their audience.

Erroll Flynn played The Great Nottingham Socialist. No matter how hard the authorities tried they couldn’t dismantle his wealth redistribution scheme. I get your point.

Which brings me to the latest Hollywood attempt at recapturing movie magic; the upcoming release of Godzilla from Warner Bros.

Which just made about $100 million over the weekend. Nice try Hollywood.

…Godzilla himself was said to have been created by nuclear fallout. Indeed, the whole movie was itself a cautionary tale about the dangers of nuclear proliferation in waging war.

But, unsurprisingly, this central element has been stripped from the new flick.

The remake’s not about the consequences of using nuclear weapons so it’s not as good.

According to an early review in Variety, “this revisionist version suggests ‘all those nuclear tests’ the U.S. conducted in the Pacific between 1946 and 1962 weren’t tests, but an effort to contain a giant amphibious dinosaur.” Nope, nothing to see here folks: no Soviet threat or any reason at all to arm and protect ourselves by beating our enemies to the nuclear punch.

Oh. The remake’s not about how we won the Cold War so it’s not as good. I see.

Yet, many leftists today would agree that Godzilla was indeed the product of America’s cruel unleashing of the nuclear weapons against a peace-loving Japanese people…

…when Godzilla was really a reaction to the threat of Soviet Communism. Got it.


They say this same sort of thing happens in Pamplona

For those of you who love the Black Friday thing but were concerned about the pushing and shoving, take heart. This year’s shoppers aren’t interested in anything so mundane:

“People using the hashtag [#walmartfights] posted photos and videos of bloody noses, paramedics wheeling stretchers, women smacking one another on the head, security officers wrestling shoppers to the ground and employees yelling at shoppers to stop recording the melees on their cellphones.

One Walmart shopper uploaded a video to YouTube showing a fight and claimed he was thrown out of the store for videotaping it.

The hashtag was just one sign of mounting violence at Black Friday sales around the country this year. In Las Vegas, a shopper was walking down the street with a big screen TV he had purchased shortly after midnight when he was shot by a passerby.

In Chicago, a man accused of attempting to shoplift from a Kohl’s store fled to his car, trapping a police officer’s arm in the door and taking off, prompting police to fire shots at his vehicle.

A man in Virginia was stabbed at Walmart during an argument over a parking spot before many Americans had even finished eating Thanksgiving dinner, at round 6:30 p.m. Thursday night. Police in Rialto, Calif., endured injuries when breaking up a brawl outside Walmart.

The website was set up to track the deaths and injuries caused by Black Friday violence in recent years. There have been no reported deaths this year.”

Nice try. As of 3:45 p.m. PDT:

black friday death count


I loved reading Doghouse Riley

But now he’s gone, too soon. What a tragedy for his family, and also for everyone who delighted in reading him. Condolences all around.

This was a piece called “Don’t Look Up” that he wrote in June:

I SPENT what’s known in the Middle West as the dinner hour last night with my one good eye on the local news. I say “one good” eye because the other was injured two days previous by a panicked box of saltines, which hurled itself off a shelf, from a height of 7 feet, 5 and one-half inches, later verified by a painstaking accident reconstruction, and slammed me in the right window of my soul, just under the ocular occlusor, fractionally before it had successfully occluded. With the corner of the fucking box. I’m thinking of starting a new blog devoted to the topic.

The effect was something like what might have happened if Buñuel and Dali had made Un Chien Andalou in 3-D. It didn’t appear to’ve done any real damage. It was no worse than a smashed finger or stubbed toe, except for the unsettling visual. Problem is that I have what the teevee pitchdoctor calls Chronic Dry Eye, which on occasion results in some piece of crud (“like cracked concrete,” my own doc explained) breaking loose and leaving the not-particularly-pleasant sensation of having something like a small burr in your eye which you cannot remove. This hurts like Hell, or like Hell on steroids, but is generally of fairly short duration. In fact, it’s practically unknown now that I’m on Restatis™, which I hope means the fine folks at Allergan, Inc. (NYSE: AGN) are about to cough up a month’s free supply . .

When I got to “right window of my soul” I howled with laughter. He was one of a few writers who could do that to me. Now he’s gone, Dammit.


Don’t shoot me, I’m only the lame blogger

I saw Jaws when I was eleven and I had nightmares for weeks. I lived a mile from the beach but I still thought I was going to get torn to bits in my bed. I wasn’t the only one.

The officers’ radio crackled with an urgent warning: He could be coming your way.

It was around 5 a.m. in Torrance on Thursday and police from nearby El Segundo had seen a pickup truck exit a freeway and head in the general direction of the Redbeam Avenue residence of a high-ranking Los Angeles police official, which was being guarded by a group of LAPD officers . .

Law enforcement sources told The Times that at least seven officers opened fire. On Friday, the street was pockmarked with bullet holes in cars, trees, garage doors and roofs. Residents said they wanted to know what happened.

“How do you mistake two Hispanic women, one who is 71, for a large black male?” said Richard Goo, 62, who counted five bullet holes in the entryway to his house.

Margie and her elderly mother Emma somehow survived. Only three bullet wounds.

Photographs of the back of the truck showed at least two dozen bullet holes. Neighbors, however, suggested there were more shots fired . .

Kathy Merkosky, 53, was outside her stucco home pointing out the six bullet holes in the bumper and grill of her silver Acura MD-X. She knew her truck was damaged when she spotted it on television and “saw fluid flowing into the street.”

Her Ford Focus was hit as well — a bullet shattered the windshield and another flattened a front tire.

25 minutes later Torrance cops gunned down a bunch of mirages, or flying utensils or something. It’s only luck the police haven’t murdered more people than the monstrous Christopher Dorner, post-modern Geronimo. I think our imaginations are more dangerous than our sharks. I’m having flashbacks from the Daryl Gates era, where the cops were the cowboy crazies in the neighborhood.

ADD: Thank God, the Charlie Sheen.

In Fellini’s day, this would qualify as ‘weird.’


Rudy Giuliani crazy crazy for Mitt Romney

Folks just love The Candidate Who Wasn’t There.

“He’s the perfect choice” at a time when we need to be reviving the economy, Giuliani told Candy Crowley on CNN’s “State of the Union.”

Heck, who doesn’t love the weather? Or a poltergeist? Or your mom’s fart?

“He had a reduction in unemployment of about 8,10 percent — I think it was 15 percent. I had a reduction of unemployment of 50 percent. He had a growth of jobs of about 40,000; we had a growth of jobs of about 500,000. So I was comparing what I thought was my far superior record to his otherwise decent record. … That’s all part of campaigning . .”

. . you know: the facts. The record. Vote for lame buddy!


Cell phones – know what I’m sayin’?

Is this a new phenomenon? Or have conservatives always been uneasy with the cell phone? Has the Samsung Drazormnezia become the next Negro Music? Or the new extramarital orgasm? Or something even worse? Time to drag the riotous teens and their technological crack off to the political blogs for a talking-to. Cue Larry and Mike to save this country.

This is a cheery reminder of what right-wing Americans consider important. Time to face the dangerous chimera of “Your Behavior Sucks” and “Here Comes The Apocalypse.”

Smart phones and social media: Destructive
By Larry Klayman | February 12, 2012 | Renew America

First, the use of smart phones has become an addiction not too much different from excessive drug and alcohol usage. . . Second, the use of the written text message . . has significantly reduced the need to communicate orally. . . Third, smart phones . . are destroying personal relationships on an epidemic basis. I have been told by many friends that their spouses, girlfriends and boyfriends have become so hooked to the devices that they are kept on night stands . .

Kids are so whacked out on cell phones they can’t even communicate orally. They can’t maintain relationships with friends, family and co-workers. Worse yet, it’s become typical for a teen to keep his digital bong right on his nightstand. What’s happened to the world? Nothing good, Larry can tell you.

Slapping That Booty
By Mike Adams | February 13, 2012 | Townhall

Dear (Name deleted): . . recently, you have been getting up and walking out during the middle of my lectures. . . I suspect that is because you’re reaching for your cell phone in order to call your girlfriend.

. . you will lose a point from your final average every time you step out and then step back in during my lecture. This may seem harsh, but it will be of tremendous benefit to you. It means you will now be forced to act like a man, take charge of your relationship, and stop letting your girlfriend monitor you like a suspected terrorist.

Damn dude. Why you picking on me?

When a woman monitors you she is most likely cheating on you. She is making sure you are not nearby so she will not get caught in the process. If she isn’t cheating on you, she is very close to dumping you for someone she cannot control. Women love a challenge more than having a lapdog. Please think about what I have told you.

Oh I get it. It’s Valentine’s Day and you want to show me you care about me and my girlfriend. Giving us the tough love. Thanks man, I think I’ll cancel dinner tonight. After all nobody is more lovable or uncontrollable than I am.

Dear (Name deleted): . . I certainly support your right to listen to rap music celebrating the joys of slapping a “booty.” I mean, DAT is your right if you’re really into booty slapping. However, (especially given that we sometimes forget to turn off our cell phones) it is perhaps unwise to program the ringer in such a way as to celebrate booty slapping every time someone calls. Know what I’m saying?

I dunno bro. I likes de ring tone. *shuffle*

After all, the women might not share your love of booty slapping. And they might turn on you faster than a Yorkshire terrier.

All de bitchez be doin’ it. But now de laideez too? Damn. Dat’s wholly capricious and unfortunate. Hey everybody come on y’all, listen up cuz I’m only gonna say this once. University of North Carolina Wilmington Professor Mike Adams? You definitely be da *beep* damn. Gotta take this *click* WHEREYOUAT?


Fox News celebrates MLK’s birthday by pulling out a photo of Ice Cube and calling him Ice-T

I hope your hands are big enough to hold your head. It’s a Fox clip so brutal, it’s classic.

The occasion of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday is a great time to reflect upon things. The greatness of the man. The lasting political power of non-violence. The struggles of people long-denied their rights. The brutality and self-righteousness of oppressors. The segments of our society still in need of King-like grace and tolerance.

But maybe you were in a silly mood Monday? So you turn on Fox News and you see, for King’s birthday, that they:

1.) Have Bernard Goldberg spend time with Bill O’Reilly.
2.) Ask the two of them to gauge the amount of Mitt Romney’s ‘whiteness.’
3.) Get Bernie to bring from home a keepsake photo of a black person.
4.) Let him brag about how racially hep he is because he spent time with Ice-T.
5.) Have Bill-O point out that Bernie’s best friend is actually Ice Cube.
6.) Make Dr. King plenty proud when Bill explains “I’m a brother, man.”

Now your day’s ruined, and you’d like to kill someone, but, darn it, you can’t do it.


School principal hypnotizes your kids, they die

This is a bizarre story. Maybe a tragedy. Hypnotism is hardly a reputable practice, and hypnotists are frequently crackpots.

George Kenney, Hypnotizing Principal, Allegedly Lied About Putting Students In Trance
HuffPo | 06/30/11

When Wesley McKinley went to his principal George Kenney for help in becoming more focused and outgoing in school, Kenney performed the solution he typically called upon to help students: hypnosis.

But something different happened this time.

Mckinley, 16, committed suicide the next day. The student from North Port High School in Florida’s Sarasota Schools District was found dead in a vacant home near his own on April 8, the Sarasota Herald Tribune reports.

And you thought the boy’s gym teacher was crazy for suggesting wrestling would help his grades. George Kenney runs an Amazon business selling hypnosis CDs and MP3s. When he’s not acting as school principal, or mailing “Maximize Basketball Free-throws with Hypnosis” from home, he’s hypnotizing the volleyball team? This is bizarre.

The hypnosis became public after a student committed suicide one day after a hypnosis session with Kenney.

While no one is linking the death and the hypnosis, the report shows another student who also committed suicide this year and a student who died in a car accident also had sessions with Dr. Kenney.

Originally, Dr. Kenney told his supervisor he did not hypnotize one of the students, but later admitted he lied.

He told investigators he lied because he felt it would be misconstrued by the media.

Principals shouldn’t put themselves in positions that could “be misconstrued by the media.” Frankly, I don’t want teachers interacting with kids in any way that anyone could misconstrue. I don’t want teachers getting inside kids’ heads in any way other than the usual assholery.

The most damning thing about this story: George himself. Check him out in the introduction to one of his DVDs:

Oh no, folks. Don’t try this while operating machinery it’s too powerful! It’s safe for your children, though. Even worse, at 1:08: “som-NOM-blism”? Sumnombilism? Somnommbalism? The guy’s an ass.


Dominque Strauss-Kahn to bribe maid’s family?

The New York Post (yeah, I know) says that friends of the former I.M.F. head, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, have found the maid’s family in Guinea. They’ve offered her relatives a pile of money to make the attempted rape case go away.

Strauss-Kahn’s pals bid to pay off woman’s kin
By ORON DAN in Tel Aviv and LAURA ITALIANO and BOB FREDERICKS in NY | May 24, 2011

Friends of alleged hotel sex fiend Dominique Strauss-Kahn secretly contacted the accusing maid’s impoverished family, offering them money to make the case go away since they can’t reach her in protective custody, The Post has learned.

The woman, who says she was sexually assaulted by the disgraced former head of the International Monetary Fund, has an extended family in the former French colony of Guinea in West Africa, well out of reach of the Manhattan DA’s Office.

“They already talked with her family,” a French businesswoman with close ties to Strauss-Kahn and his family told The Post. “For sure, it’s going to end up on a quiet note.”

Prosecutors in Manhattan have done their best to keep the cleaning woman out of the reach of Strauss-Kahn’s supporters, but the source was already predicting success for the Parisian pol’s pals.

“He’ll get out of it and will fly back to France. He won’t spend time in jail. The woman will get a lot of money,” said the source, adding that a seven-figure sum has been bandied about.

Sure, it’s absolutely disgusting that he could away with it by these means. But, if you’re the maid, it’s a good thing.

Having to go through an extended trial, getting tortured by all the accompanying New York media assholes (like reporters from the Post), having to get up on the stand, in front of the world, and describe what happened to you — it’s bullshit. None of this is her fault, she never asked for this.

Getting a bunch of money, that’s better. If it pulls her family out of poverty, if it allows her to quit her job and go to school — if she ends up becoming an attorney pressing sexual harassment claims against the future likes of a Strauss-Kahn — that’s a preferable result.

Yeah, she could fight her way through the trial and then sue, but that could take years. The circus will become a knock-down, drag-out war to consume her life. Hell, who says she’ll even win the legal case? The guy’s one of the world’s richest, most powerful bastards. Take the money and get out.


Drunk, flaming and offering to blow the police guards is no way to go through life, Father . .

Meet Father Ignatius Kury. He’s not the manliest prisoner on the planet. “I’ll give you the Sermon on the Mount. Your Sermon on the Mount is this: get these fucking cuffs off of me because I’m getting a RASH . .”

Video captures bizarre jailhouse rant of alleged drunk driving priest
By David Edwards | 03.3.11

Police say that Father Ignatius Kury of Holy Ghost Ukrainian Byzantine Catholic Church was drunk when he crashed his car [in] Brimfield Township, Ohio.

Note to priests. This is a lame prison threat: “Oprah Winfrey’s gonna have her vag down here, and YOU are gonna have your ass against the wall.”

The priest was so unhinged that officers decided to record him in his cell offering them oral sex and promising that Oprah Winfrey would rescue him. At one point, Kury even offered a rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

“I want you to see me America…I want you to love me.”



Rep. Gabrielle Giffords’ shooter identified as Tucson lunatic Jared Lee Loughner

Here’s the latest:

Jared Laughner, Gabrielle Giffords Shooter (INFO)
01- 8-11 03:56 PM | Huffington Post

Jared Laughner, the man who shot Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D-Ariz.), was described by eyewitnesses as a young white man who looked like a “fringe character.”

Laughner shot Giffords and 12 others at a public event at a Safeway grocery store in Tucscon. He report-edly shot the congresswoman “point blank” in the head and may have come from inside the store. After shooting Giffords, he allegedly fired 20-30 rounds and hit “a number of people,” including a child. He attempted to flee after running out of ammunition and was tackled by one of Giffords’ staffers.

Eyewitnesses have described Laughner as “young, mid-to-late 20s, white, clean-shaven with short hair and wearing dark clothing.”

Loughner appears to have two YouTube channels (one of which has his name spelled as I’ve printed it). On one, he goes on and on about conscience dreaming, developing currencies and mind control.

Here’s his comment:

If you’re editing of every belief and religion reaches the final century then the writer for every belief and religion is you.

You’re editing of every belief and religion reaches the final century.

Thus, the writer for every belief and religion is you.

You control every — thought, action, and lifestyle — for the person or people as the mind controller.

I’m able to control every belief and religion by being the mind controller.

On the other, he (warning: I’m assuming it’s Jared) posts a video of himself in some get-up slowly approaching an American flag. The comments within the clip are bizarre.


If there’s no flag in the constitution then the flag in the film is unknown.
There’s no flag in the constitution.
Therefore, the flag in the film is unknown.
Burn every new and old flag that you see.
Burn your flag!
I bet you can imagine this in your mind with a faster speed.
Watch this protest in reverse!
Ask the local police; “What’s your illegal activity on duty?”.
If you protest the government then there’s a new government from protesting.
There’s not a new government from protesting.
Thus, you aren’t protesting the government.
There’s something important in this video: There’s no communication to anyone in this location.
You shouldn’t be afraid of the stars.
There’s a new bird on my right shoulder. The beak is two feet and lime green. The rarest bird on earth, there’s no feathers, but small grey scales all over the body. It’s with one large red eye with a light blue iris. The bird feet are the same as a woodpecker. This new bird and there’s only one, the gender is not female or male. The wings of this bird are beautiful; 3 feet wide with the shape of a bald eagle that you could die for. If you can see this bird then you will understand. You think this bird is able to chat about a government?
I want you to imagine a comet or meteoroid coming through the atmosphere.
On the other hand, welcome yourself to the desert: Maybe your ability to protest is from the brainwash of the current government structure

When will we get serious about providing mental health services for people who suffer like this? Think of all the lives we could make better. Or, in the cases of Giffords and the other victims, think of the lives we could save. It’s not Communism, it’s the proper way for a rational society to behave.

ADD: his YouTube profile:

Name: Jared Lee Loughner
Channel Views: 271
Joined: October 25, 2010

About Me: My name is Jared Lee Loughner!
Hometown: Tucson
Country: United States
Schools: I attended school: Thornydale elementary,Tortolita Middle School, Mountain View Highschool, Northwest Aztec Middle College, and Pima Community College.
Interests: My favorite interest was reading, and I studied grammar. Conscience dreams were a great study in college!
Movies: (*My idiom: I could coin the moment!*)
Music: Pass me the strings!
Books: I had favorite books: Animal Farm, Brave New World, The Wizard Of OZ, Aesop Fables, The Odyssey, Alice Adventures Into Wonderland, Fahrenheit 451, Peter Pan, To Kill A Mockingbird, We The Living, Phantom Toll Booth, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Pulp,Through The Looking Glass, The Communist Manifesto, Siddhartha, The Old Man And The Sea, Gulliver’s Travels, Mein Kampf, The Republic, and Meno.

ADD: Screenshot of his MySpace page:


Roll up for the Julian Assange Psycho-Circus Maximus

If you like theater, if you love spectacle, then you love Julian Assange. Well, not him, actually, he’s a secretive sort. You love the reaction to Assange.

We are witnessing a rare thing right now. We are seeing a large chunk of the planet vomit their wide-ranging inner narratives upon the movie screen known as ‘Julian Assange.’ The paranoids are scared of him, the fascists will execute him, the rebels take up his fight, the governments must legislate him, and the demagogues are violently split.

And some of the liberal women of socialist Sweden find him interesting. Well, until he won’t wear a condom, and then he’s some sort of criminal, but then he’s not, and then he is again, and then the world’s biggest extradition case is underway.

At least that’s what it looks like today — the truth of the story will be forthcoming. It’s condoms for now — Assange is being extradited for sex crimes related to condom usage with 2 women while in Sweden.

The pair went out for dinner together at a nearby restaurant. Afterwards they returned to her flat and had sex. What is not disputed by either of them is that a condom broke — an event which, as we shall see, would later take on great significance.

At the time, however, the pair continued to be friendly enough the next day, a Saturday, with “Sarah” even throwing a party for him at her home in the evening.

And with “Jessica”:

The attraction was mutual. After lunch, the pair went to the cinema to see a film called Deep Sea. “Jessica’s” account suggests that [sic] were ‘intimate’ and then went to a park where Assange told her she was ‘attractive’ . .

So it was that on the Monday, “Jessica” called Assange and they arranged to get together in Stockholm . . and after they arrived at her apartment they had sex. According to her testimony to police, Assange wore a condom. The following morning they made love again. This time he used no protection.

“Jessica” reportedly said later that she was upset that he had refused when she asked him to wear a condom.

. . and then . .

“Jessica” was worried she could have caught a sexual disease, or even be pregnant: and this is where the story takes an intriguing turn. She then decided to phone “Sarah” — whom she had met at the seminar, and with whom Assange had been staying — and apparently confided to her that she’d had unprotected sex with him.

At that point, “Sarah” said that she, too, had slept with him . .

They went together to a Stockholm police station where they said they were seeking advice on how to proceed with a complaint by “Jessica” against Assange.

. . and then . .

. . there he goes in a London armored police truck, media in tow. This is a whacky, cat-brained world, and Julian Assange has become a giant ball of catnip. Glenn Beck is sure the guy’s being set up, an unwitting victim in a massive conspiracy:

Think of this — if the guy is legitimately hit by a truck walking down the street, he was drunk and he drank it himself, what percentage of the planet is going to believe that that was an accident? I mean, what are the odds of all of that happening? . .

Read the stories. Everyone is questioning the establishment. It’s bottom-up. We haven’t scratched the surface on this story. This is like hour one of season in “24.” This is the beginning of the time that I told you would come, where you wouldn’t know who to believe or what to believe. You had to be strong inside yourself first.

. . and now the hacktivists come to his rescue:

The website of MasterCard has been hacked and partially paralysed in apparent revenge for the international credit card’s decision to cease taking donations to WikiLeaks.

A group of online activists calling themselves Anonymous appear to have orchestrated a DDOS (“distributed denial of service”) attack on the site, bringing its service at to a halt for many users.

“While we don’t have much of an affiliation with WikiLeaks, we fight for the same reasons,” the statement explains. “We want transparency and we counter censorship. The attempts to silence WikiLeaks are long strides closer to a world where we can not say what we think and are unable to express our opinions and ideas.”

. . and then, in Naples, we are reminded Julian was the fourth Magus:

. . and he’s currently leading Time’s online polling for ‘Person of the Year.’

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