Category: don’t look

Kobe Bryant is the worst

Numbers don’t lie. Considering what Kobe Bryant is doing to the Lakers, he’s the worst basketball player in the league. He’s currently having what can be argued as the worst individual year in the history of the NBA.

Anyone playing this horrible-awful would normally never be allowed to take 18 shots a game – 8 of those being three-pointers, which he usually misses – and use up to 40% of a team’s possessions to chuck up airballs, anchors and bricks (when he’s not turning the ball over, which he does all the time). Any other basketball player would have been benched after the first couple of games and then quietly released, so he can go play for some odd-sounding team in Turkey. But because he’s a legend, because he’s some sort of big deal, Byron Scott and the hostages at Bryant Enabling LLC have decided to stand back and watch the Black Mamba ruin every game the Kobe Chuckers play this year. What a glorious trainwreck.

How disastrous is he? Halftime at Detroit, against a .500 team, the Lakers are down 23 points. Kobe is 0 for 7 with two turnovers. His plus/minus would be…-20. Ho-hum, just another day for the Most Awesome Laker Ever.

For the year, he’s taken about 300 shots and made only 88 of them. That’s not 39%, that’s 29%. As in ‘Whose general manager do I have to fellate to keep this job?’ And from the three-point line? He’s shooting 21.8%. Wait, you say. He shoots 8 three-pointers and then misses 6 of them? More than 6 of them. Every game? Yes. Every game. He must be the worst shooter in the league!

Right you are. Three-point shooting stats are posted for anyone in the NBA who makes on average at least one three-pointer every game. There are 102 players who qualify for the stat. Where is Kobe?

kobe 3 pts

He’s last. And he’s waaaaay behind the other worst shooters in the league – they’re only barely-making a horrendous 27% from behind the arc. He’s a full five percentage points worse than that. And get this: Only two other NBA players shoot more three-pointers than him. You’re telling me the worst long-range shooter in the league shoots more than almost anybody else? Yes. Hard to believe, isn’t it? Makes you wish the Kobe Chuckers had a coach, or a manager, or something. Shall we check in? Why not…it’s the third quarter and he’s currently 0 for 9. Keep chucking, bro. Kobe is on pace to miss a thousand shots this year while the Lakers go 12 and 70 (…for the sixth worst record in league history). Nice going everyone.

And for the apologists who say “Well they don’t have anyone else to go to! He’s on a bad team!” No – Kobe IS the bad team. He’s the worst shooter on the Lakers:

laker shooting

Yet he takes 7 more shots than anyone else (except Clarkson), he takes twice as many three-pointers, and he plays 32 minutes a game. And the fiasco doesn’t get any better when you look at all of the numbers – rebounds, turnovers, etc. Take a look at the Player Efficiency Ratings (PER) for the Laker squad:

laker game stats

Only Larry Nance Jr. (16.9 min, 3.7 fga) and Tarik Black (11.4 mins, 2.9 fga) are playing worse than Bryant. Considering the PER league average for NBA players is 15.0, that is appalling. The numbers are clear: Kobe Bryant is one of the worst players in the league, he’s the worst three-point shooter in the league, and he’s having an epically horrendous year. But with the coach’s blessing, and with the full support of the franchise, he’s going to take the team down with him. Any other Laker could do better than him, because they are doing better than him… but the faithful want to pretend he should continue to get the ball, and throw up grisly wounded geese, and drive the Lakers down dooooown into the most abyss-mal year in all their long history. No, Mamba fans. He should be benched for the rest of the year, or he should retire. Right now, this minute. Oh wait…game over. Kobe went 2 for 15 in a 20-point loss, 1 for 6 from the three-point line. He’s the best. Get out your popcorn, horror fans.


From a duck blind in a titty bar

National Review makes an argument for “The Rapper Barons” to vote Republican. But let’s see what’s playing on the National Geographic Channel.

“. . Minaj is a sort of extra-dimensional pop bombshell whose sartorial combinations can be viewed only at a distance and only with specially designed goggles. Underneath the hot-pink wigs and Day-Glo lipstick is a 29-year-old Afro-Trinidadian by way of Manhattan’s LaGuardia High School who, after an Augie March–esque series of failed stints at chain restaurants and call centers and an abortive off-Broadway acting career, was plucked from New York’s underground hip-hop scene in 2007 by the CEO of one Dirty Money Entertainment. Nota bene: Dirty Money Entertainment is not to be confused with Young Money Entertainment, which eventually signed Minaj in 2009, or with Cash Money Records, which is Young Money’s parent label.”


Getting a Life: It Has Its Pros and Cons

A person shouldn’t spend a lot of time on the Magic Book of Faces drinking coffee, staring into space (cyber and otherwise), and giggling at his or her own jokes. On the other hand, if I hadn’t spent this morning doing just that (ok, it’s 25 after twelve, quit nit-picking), how would I have stumbled upon this?

Pin-ups for Ron Paul. I thought it was a parody but…it wasn’t. I don’t even know what to say. I guess if there are people of color and liberals who can find reasons to support him, there are women that misguided as well. Like a chicken voting for Frank Perdue.

There are only two partial explanations for this display that I can come up with.
1.) Ambition. The GOP seems, in its Insane 2012 Death Spiral Dance, determined to graduate from “just plain nuts” to “eeeewwww, gross and nuts.” 2.) Yuck. I remember a guy I knew years ago that told me “Crazy chicks are hot.” I didn’t take that as a compliment since I was sleeping with him at the time. Although, in retrospect, since I chose to be with him, maybe he was right.

I guess some women need to see what life is like when they go ‘self-respect, optional.’ Calgon, take me away.


Minister Mike Bickle blames Jewish “perversion and sin” for purges and Adolf Hitler

Always the same with these evangelical preachers. They know everything there is to know about the Jews. They’re experts on what’s happened to the chosen people. They’re authorities on the state of Israel. And they know exactly what will happen to every Jew in the future: Christianity for some, violent death for the rest. It’s always the same.

This is obnoxious to hear, obviously. But it becomes downright offensive when ‘prophets’ reveal the true nature of the Jewish people.

Minister Mike Bickle is that type of guy. Bruce Wilson of put together a compilation of the International House of Prayer leader’s delivering definitive pronouncements on the Jews. Taken as a whole, they make it clear Bickle believes Jews deserve every rotten break they’ve gotten:

The Lord says, “I’m going to give all 20 million of them the chance. To respond to the fisherman. And I give them grace. And I give them grace.”

And he says, “And if they don’t respond to grace, I’m going to raise up the hunters.” And the most famous hunter in recent history is a man named Adolf Hitler.

Bickle’s message: Jews don’t want His grace. As a result, God once slaughtered them by the millions through the action of His hunter, Adolf Hitler.

If you say “God scattered Israel,” the Jews will really be offended. They go, “Oh. God scattered us?” Uh-huh. “Well, I thought the evil guys did.”

Well, you’re under the discipline of God, because of your perversion and sin.

Bickle’s message: Jews don’t act right. As a result, they suffer punishment from the Lord.

I wouldn’t call this preaching intelligent, godly, positive, or reflective of the message of Christ. I think it’s the product of a tiny mind bent on the grandest self-service. To our Jewish friends: pay it no mind.


Tea Party comedian: Rachel Maddow is a man. Not like Anderson Cooper, right?

What’s a Tea Party convention without some laughs? That’d be like one of those urban rap guys who didn’t wear a fag earring. What’s up with that? Don’t you know how feminine you look? Hello?

Steven Crowder, conservative comedian, bowls me over. He slayed the pinheads at Tea Con 2011 too. You may have seen the rib-splintering video of Steven’s stand-up over at Charles Johnson’s place. But I’ve done Charles one better: I cut the 12 minutes of sheer genius down to 2 minutes.

Like this: Have you ever noticed Middle Eastern people trying to be like black-guys? They’re so lame. They sound like this: *IMITATION OF MAN FROM INDIA*.

And people from Spanish Harlem? They’re all “JOO PEEPUL AAAH MEEN TO MY PEEPUL.” They’re exactly like that.

Breitbart grants Crowder a corner of one of his sites to entertain people.

Steven won the much publicized national Stand up Comedy competition on Myspace.

On MySpace? Next stop, the AOL comedy Super Bowl. Meanwhile let’s have Steven do movie reviews:

‘Warrior’ Review: Thrilling Reminder of What it Means To Be a Man
by Steven Crowder

…Not only did I leave the multiplex misty-eyed and exhausted from the film’s emotional gut punch… but more strikingly, for the first time in a very long while, Hollywood made me feel truly proud to be a man.

I see a recurring theme. Something about someone needing to be a man.


Was the 2007 e-mail that Pam Geller posted and promoted on her website sent from mass murderer Anders Breivik?

Did hate blogger Pam Geller post a 2007 anti-Muslim e-mail from mass murderer Anders Breivik on her website? Did she recently edit it of its violent rhetoric in attempt to hide its source? Or is she merely admitting to using poor judgment with an anonymous e-mailer?

It makes one wonder. There’s no doubt about this: a Norwegian anti-Muslim fan of Geller’s and her Islamophobic blog, Atlas Shrugs, did write and send her a fairly nasty and paranoid e-mail. And this: Anders Breivik read Geller’s blog because he quoted it several times in his anti-Muslim hate manifesto. Upon receiving the e-mail almost exactly four years ago to the horrible day, Geller turned around and posted it on her site with this dramatic introduction:

I am running an email I received from an Atlas reader in Norway. It is devastating in its matter-of-factness.

Following that, the e-mail began:

Well, yes, the situation is worsening. Stepping up from 29 000 immigrants every year, in 2007 we will be getting a total of 35 000 immigrants from somalia, iran, iraq and afghanistan. The nations capital is already 50% muslim, and they ALL go there after entering Norway. Adding the 1.2 births per woman per year from muslim women, there will be 300 000+ muslims out of the then 480 000 inhabitants of that city.

Orders from Libya and Iran say that Oslo will be known as Medina at the latest in 2010, although I consider this a PR-stunt nevertheless it is their plan . .

You will note that Oslo avoided being named Medina last year. A few sentences later, the e-mail goes on this way:

This will make the muslims worldwide go into a frenzy, attacking everyone around them.

We are stockpiling and caching weapons, ammunition and equipment. This is going to happen fast.

Before, I thought about emigrating to Britain, Israel, USA, South Africa, etc. for taxes and politics, but instead (although I believe we are the very last generation on earth before the return of God) I will stay and fight for the right to this country . .

The paragraph I highlighted, the part about caching weapons and ammunition, is the portion that Pam recently disappeared from her site. [See Charles Johnson’s coverage for all the details, here.]

Updates in the thread indicate that Pam edited the post within the last day, so that would be after the bombing and mass murder.

So, what’s the story, Pam? Why the about-face in behavior? Because after Breivik’s manifesto was found with your footnotes all over it, you exploded in saintly defiance:

Instead of mourning the 91 victims of this horrible tragedy, the media is wielding it like a club to bludgeon the voices of freedom.

. . sharia-compliant media is naked in their blood libel to tie this murderer to everyone of us who fight for human rights, the rule of law, the dignity of the human person, free speech, the free conscience, and equality of rights for all.

Now you’re skulking around on your “human rights” blog, suppressing the “free speech” and “conscience” of an armed Atlas reader from Norway. Maybe you should contact the Norwegian authorities?

In whatever case, we accept your apology.


Anti-sex crusader Christine O’Donnell does hook up with young guys but doesn’t go all the way

These are revelations about a current Senate candidate? Wow. Politics has certainly changed since the days when I used to stare at the TV and wonder how anyone could like that old prune, Ronald Reagan.

Gawker has a first person tell-all with a (then) 25 year-old who hooked up with a 39 year-old Christine O’Donnell. Here’s a bit of the story:

I barely knew Christine when she turned up at my door at around eight o’clock on the night of Halloween. We’d met for the first and only time three months earlier when my two roommates and I signed the lease on our apartment: Christine’s aunt owned the place we were moving into, and she happened to be up from Delaware visiting at the time . .

Aggressive is another word I’d use to describe her. At the bar, she confessed to me that her aunt really hadn’t been sleeping. She hadn’t even gone to her apartment to check, she said. She had remembered me from our five-minute meeting the previous summer, and used the story about her aunt as an excuse to knock on my door. She’d set her sights on me from the beginning . .

Things got physical on the couch pretty quickly. It wasn’t long before we’d moved from the living room to my bed.

I won’t get into the nitty gritty details of what happened between the sheets that evening. But I will say that it wasn’t half as exciting as I’d been hoping it would be. Christine was a decent kisser, but as soon as soon as her clothes came off and she was naked in my bed, Christine informed me that she was a virgin.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” I said. She didn’t explain at the time that she was a “born-again virgin.” She made it seem like she’d never had sex in her life, which seemed pretty improbable for a woman her age. And she made it clear that she was planning on staying a virgin that night. But there were signs that she wasn’t very experienced sexually . .

Feel free to familiarize yourself with more of the racy details.

What’s most interesting about this is the reaction to it. Plenty of left-wing and liberal voices are furious about Gawker’s piece (here’s just one, there are dozens). It’s a political ‘hit’ that smacks of misogyny, of throwback anti-feminism, of lurid opportunism, etc., you name it. Fine, I hear that, I respect those views. I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me, so it stinks.

But, first, I don’t find the story changes my opinion of her — she’s a fool who is unqualified for the job she desperately wants. And, second, what planet did all of you wake up on this afternoon? What happened to all the obvious political realities being ignored in the tumult?

Since when are sex lives sacred in the political realm? Since when have there been expectations for perfect secrecy regarding major political figures’ behavior and decisions? In any facet of life? When has politics ever been civilized? Should politicians’ sexual behavior be private and secret? YES. Feel free to rouse me from my grave when reality finally turns in that direction.

Wasn’t she the anti-sex candidate? She sure as hell was. O’Donnell made people’s personal sexual behavior a part of her crusading personality and her effort to connect with the voters. They eventually gave her the Republican nomination. Quote:

O’DONNELL: . . The sad reality is — yes, there is something you can do about it. And the sad reality, to tell them slap on a condom is not —

NIES: You’re going to stop the whole country from having sex?

O’DONNELL: Yeah. Yeah!

NIES: You’re living on a prayer if you think that’s going to happen.

O’DONNELL: That’s not true. I’m a young woman in my thirties and I remain chaste.

She benefited from these righteous lectures, she became the far right-winger in the year of the crazies. She won the nomination. That sort of crusading makes for an easy target for all sorts of people, including your former sex partners. And obviously, ‘chaste’ is a word with many definitions in O’Donnell’s world.

Sex is not a proper weapon in politics (if you’re a liberal). I applaud your nobility. I mock your obliviousness. Anybody remember the impeachment of the last Democratic president? What about Obama being ‘smeared’ as a gay coke whore? Anybody remember Ann Coulter calling Bill Clinton and John Edwards prodigious adulterers who are very likely homosexuals? Remember Gary Hart? How about David Vitter’s free pass back to the Senate? Then how about this: O’Donnell’s own campaign employees ‘smearing’ her primary opponent as a closeted, adulterous homosexual? Hmm? Can I stop there?

When a 39 year old former (and future) Senate candidate seduces an anonymous 25 year old, that’s healthy feminism? No, it’s political recklessness. If this seduced person turns out to be a shallow immature oaf, perfectly willing to scuttle a national political career, it’s misogyny? It’s just stupidity on both parties’ parts.

I’m pretty sure I could do this all day. Gawker is a gossip and pop culture site, but they should sit on the story? Any of you familiar with the definition of the word ‘gawker’? Have you seen their ridiculous traffic numbers today? Even though they’re a business, their real loyalties should be to whom exactly? A politician? Please.

UPDATE: O’Donnell responds by pretty much admitting it . .

This story is just another example of the sexism and slander that female candidates are forced to deal with. From Secretary Clinton, to Governor Palin, to soon-to-be Governor Haley, Christine’s political opponents have been willing to engage in appalling and baseless attacks . .

‘Slander’ and ‘baseless attacks’? That’s a stretch, something would have to be a lie. Anyway the paranoid right-wingers see an evil master-puppet behind it all:

Classless Coons goons have proven yet again to have no sense of common decency or common sense with their desperate attacks to get another rubber stamp for the Obama-Pelosi-Reid . .

. . which reminds me of something, evil master-puppet wise. A woman by the name of Krystal Ball (yes) is a 28 year-old Democrat running for congress in Virginia. A Conservative blog got a hold of photos of a Christmas party in which Krystal is seen fellating the dildo-appointed outfit of her husband. Here:

The same gossip goon site, Gawker, acquired and published the images for all the world to see. The ‘controversy’ demanded a statement from Krystal, and this was it:

“Society has to accept that women of my generation have sexual lives that are going to leak into the public sphere. Sooner or later, this is a reality that has to be faced, or many young women in my generation will not be able to run for office.”

Amen. So, let’s ask ourselves: with all of this vigorous hand-wringing who are we really worried about protecting? Our parents? Do we really believe there will ever be a time when sex won’t be interesting to us? Why would people’s sex lives ever manage to side-step politics? Christine O’Donnell turned out to be Christine O’Donnell. Whatever.



Friday, May 07, 2010

Newt Gingrich, Thought Provocateur in Chief
by Jackie Gingrich Cushman

While serving as a congressman from Georgia, he helped the Atlanta Zoo acquire an Emerald Tree Boa, a Komodo Dragon and a black rhinoceros. Last month, my two children — his grandchildren — visited the zoo and saw the animals.


Dad volunteers his time, energy and money to make our nation better, all while he has started three companies and created new jobs. Maybe he should be called citizen activist in chief.


Last year, my father and I co-wrote “5 Principles for a Successful Life: From Our Family to Yours” (Crown Forum, 2009). This book started as a way to explain to my children that he did not wake up one day as former speaker of the House, appearing on the FOX network and making speeches (what they have seen of their grandfather). Instead, he worked his way up, and lives his life the best he can by following five principles: dream big, work hard, learn every day, enjoy life and be true to yourself.



Never mind the terrorists, just tell me if Tyra Banks is gonna eat a tapeworm

The latest trends in tiny pets…

The “Tyra Show” investigates this shocking new diet trend. We’ll meet two women who say they’re willing to ingest the potentially deadly tapeworm in an effort to lose weight. We’ll find out just how big these creepy crawlies can get — and meet a man who actually sells them on the Internet. Also, meet a woman who has had a patch sewn onto her tongue to purposefully make it painful to swallow. Last, the latest trends in tiny pets!

*Please note, PETA has contacted the show and does not recommend keeping monkeys as pets.

A monkey? Eww.


The hardest I have laughed in 10 years

Thank you, Tintin and Thers. Was kicking around Blogistan when I came across the internecine blog strife. Between Sadly, No! and Whiskey Fire, a video war has erupted as to whose clip sucksest. And I am afraid Tintin at Sadly, No! has won:

Siren song? Mating call? The haunting trill of the Great Endangered Lunar Badger? Don’t answer–we don’t need any more of them around.

Vitas apparently makes his own clothes. More or much less.


Fifty minutes after finding her son lifeless, mom with 5,000 followers tweets: “. . my 2 yr old fell in the pool . . .”

Well, if they were all watching, maybe she got nervous. Oh wait–it’s Twitter.

Mom Shellie Ross’ Tweet About Son’s Death Sparks Debate Over Use of Twitter During Tragedy
Mommy Bloggers Defend Ross’ Tweet, Saying Online Community Is a Support System

Amid tweets about the weather and her pets, mommy blogger Shellie Ross shocked many of her 5,000 followers with a message on Twitter they weren’t expecting to read.

“Fog is rolling in thick scared the birds back in the coop,” Ross tweeted at 5:22 p.m. on Monday.

At 5:23 p.m., her son called 911 to report that his brother, 2-year-old Bryson, was floating unconscious in the pool. Records show that the Brevard County Fire-Rescue paramedics arrived at Ross’ Mirrett Island, Fla., home at 5:38 p.m.

And 34 minutes later, at 6:12 p.m., Ross tweeted again. “Please pray like never before, my 2 yr old fell in the pool.”

Nearly five hours later, after her son had been pronounced dead, Ross tweeted again.

“Remembering my million dollar baby,” she wrote. Ross included a photo of Bryson in the post, time-stamped at 11:08 p.m. A few minutes later, she posted another photo of her son . . .


You think maybe Irish fans are pissed off about the Cup qualifier handball loss to France that knocked them out? A little?

…when somebody posts a clip that shows that damned handball over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over…well, it’s about 80 times in a row…maybe there’s some anger?

The YouTube page:


yeah, some anger there

..h/t my buddy Paul..