IF ‘ASSAULT WEAPONS’ ARE BAD…WHY DOES DHS WANT TO BUY 7,000 OF THEM FOR ‘PERSONAL DEFENSE’?
Daily Caller | Jason Howerton
DC picked up the meme that NY State Senator Greg Ball laid down in a press release:
The Department of Homeland Security is the latest to find Governor Cuomo’s anti-Second Amendment agenda is at odds with reality. A report by Steve McGough of RadioViceOnline.com cites a General Service Administration (GSA) request for proposal (RFP) on behalf of the Department of Homeland Security and member components such as Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) seeking over 7,000 AR-15’s and matching 30 round clips . .
This federal government rebuke of Cuomo comes just hours after news broke that two students from Rochester lives were evidently saved by an AR-15 as armed intruders entered their home. The very same personal defense weapon Cuomo plans to take out of law abiding gun owners hands protected two of New York’s best and brightest.
The gun nuts seem to think we oppose assault weapons because they don’t kill people fast enough. Odd. Factory slaughter is all they’re good for. Unless the simultaneous killing of game and rending of beef jerky is a good thing (mind the shards of hot bone and lead). As they say, any argumentative port in a storm.
This was Ball’s great ‘take that’ to the liberal world last week. Pardon the legacy media timing of the post, but I’ve spent most of my time occupied with other pursuits:
Lying around on the sofa.
And swallowing pills. You’re wondering how long it takes before a cold turns a reasonable person into a homicidal lunatic? 10 days. After that you’re measuring suitable targets for your rage. Good thing people were used to running away from me on sight.
Women stepping into combat roles. Who knew the right wing would freak out this way? This is, well, women already do that. Been doing ‘war’ for a while thanks. But until now I don’t suppose conservatives had the chance to complain about it properly. They could really use some time to work the whole thing through in their heads:
Regarding sex, what’s going to happen if a leader appears to show preferential treatment to his lover? What if he has to pick a few soldiers for a dangerous mission – will his lover be included? What happens to morale and cohesion if some soldiers are receiving love and sex on a regular basis and some are left out? What if some soldiers are extremely jealous or show stalking tendencies? What happens if soldiers are willing to literally fight for their love interest?
That last bit works for me. But, generally, if you’re furloughing soldiers two-at-a-time for honeymoons you’re not doing combat readiness any favors.
James Taranto at Wall Street Journal gets a note from a Marine Corps veteran about this. It’s such a leveler he reprints it for his column.
As a Marine Corps veteran of three combat tours, the first as a rifle platoon commander during the Vietnam War, my concern is what this policy will contribute to further breaking down the already-troubled relationships of men and women in our society.
That’s a new one. After seeing front line action, women aren’t going to like men any more. Have I got that right?
What kind of a man is it who can send women off to kill and maim? What kind of society does that?
What kind of society does that to anybody? A sick one. But as long as women don’t have to do it, they won’t complain. And that way we just keep on keepin’ on, which is nice.
What kind of society bemoaning that men don’t seem to respect women can’t see that part of the respect they demand is predicated on the specialness of the other?
Better to have the specials sitting at home fretting if their boyfriends and fathers are still alive and breathing. Wondering if they have the use of their arms and legs. That’s better for everybody.
Perhaps it is possible in a firefight to distinguish between how one treats women and men, but I doubt that I could do it. And if I am trained to treat men and women the same throughout my career, can this have no significant effect on how I treat women otherwise?
Like when some random guy at the hardware store tells this guy to shoot someone, he does it. Men are officers, remember? Countries have for the most part sorted this problem out I think, with the uniforms and such. Taranto then throws in his civilian pennies:
One way of defining feminism is as the pursuit of the mutually irreconcilable goals of sexual equality and sensitive treatment of women.
Let’s take it for granted James means “gender equality.” Sexual equality is too mind boggling an idea to consider. Can you imagine the numbers of male prostitutes society would have to provide? Not sure how that “Plushy” thing would work, either.
You’d think that contradiction would be a weakness, but it’s actually a strength: Every advance for equality creates a demand for more measures to promote sensitivity, and vice versa.
And to wit: Every demand for more measures to promote sensitivity would create an advance for equality. Have I got that right? Or is that meaningless?
Feminism’s failures perpetuate feminism, at the expense of other goals such as defending the country.
As I mentioned before, the Israeli Defense Forces had women in combat roles from the beginning. They haven’t lost any wars yet.
I think the nuts are getting panicky because the portrait of the American Warrior comes tightly bound with the notion of Ultimate Authority. That’s no place for women, or so they thought. It’s already bad enough that so few of them obey The Bible.
They’re just making things up about Thomas Jefferson. Which is necessary because he hasn’t yet embraced the Bushmaster/Colt side of the argument.
In the spirit of fighting fire with fire, a concept which the Founding Fathers likely grasped in its entirety, do you suppose they would now deny us the ability to be at least as well armed as those who would criminally abuse us?
‘. . life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Done, yes. That will do. Excellent. Now how to fight fire. With . . what? The incontinent horse? No. The sodden wife? Bah. [pause] Yes! With fire! Fight fire with fire. Gadzooks the entire concept! Now I apply it to weapons: Every Citizen Should Have A Hundred.’
When a home invader can knock down your door and point an illegally obtained, fully automatic machine pistol at your face, do you really believe your Founding Fathers wouldn’t want you to have, at the minimum, a 17 round semi-automatic handgun to abort that planned home invasion in the entryway?
‘Martha, take this down: Tis the Gentleman’s duty to obtain for Himself a high muzzle-velocity weapon and a 17 cartridge magazine. To participate in American life, full as it is with the arm-ed criminal, random skirmish and desultory volley. Now I should be succinct, succinct being goode, and declare war. This Is War. Sincerely Jebediah Blastloon.’
‘Yes, this will be a great nation. Or a fine buffalo hunt. I have partaken of too much absinthe mead again and must go to bed good evening.’
I don’t envy you parents given the questions your kids might have about the Sandy Hook massacre. What would you do? I have no idea, run fast I guess. Why did he do it? He’s crazy I suppose. I know that doesn’t help. I’m not a survivalist, I just don’t think about these things. It hurts to think about it.
Michelle Malkin however thinks about these things. How else to explain all the clever suggestions? The National Review with the goods:
These seven simple commonsense steps are adapted from a post I published on my blog after the horrific Newtown massacre. Our hearts ache, but we are not completely helpless or hopeless in the face of evil and the unknown. And we are not alone. This Christmas, cherish life, keep faith, and practice self empowerment.
Fine by me. Put our heads together and come up with a plan. Michelle takes the lead:
7. Teach our kids about the acts of heroes in times of crisis . .
6. Train our kids. When they see something troublesome or wrong, they should say something . .
5. Limit our kids’ time online and control their exposure to desensitizing cultural influences. Turn off the TV. Get them off the bloody video games . .
4. If you see a parent struggling with an out-of-control child, don’t look the other way . .
Dear, these are not very helpful. I don’t imagine my walking up to a parent and offering to wrestle their kid will be either a welcome or practical act. Oh but wait here comes the top sensible thing:
1. Teach our kids to value and respect life by valuing and respecting them always.
How semi-literate. And hypocritical, remember this?
RIVERSIDE, California (AFP) — A former US Marine was acquitted of manslaughter here Thursday in the shooting deaths of four unarmed Iraqi prisoners during 2004 fighting in Fallujah.
Jose Luis Nazario, 28, was found not guilty of all charges after a landmark trial at the US District Court in Riverside, southeast of Los Angeles . .
Nazario was alleged to have shot dead two of the captives himself before ordering two subordinates to kill the others.
However the prosecution’s case was weakened after the two other Marines implicated in the killings — Jermaine Nelson and Ryan Weemer — refused to testify against Nazario last week and were declared in contempt of court.
It was justice when Jose’s subordinates refused to testify how he shot and killed unarmed prisoners. Malkin-justice. Roughly translated: Wear a uniform, kill as you like. Michelle’s respect for life is no match for her sadism. Here’s the unabridged Malkin Number One brilliant suggestion:
1. Teach our kids to value and respect life by valuing and respecting them always. And in loving and valuing life, teach them also not to fear death.
In loving and valuing life teach children to welcome death. Huh?
The Catholic hymn “Be Not Afraid” offers time-tested solace and sage advice:
If you pass through raging waters, in the sea, you shall not drown.
If you walk amidst the burning flames, you shall not be harmed.
If you stand before the pow’r of hell and death is at your side…
You would do this to children? With all these little corpses laying around? Don’t be afraid honey oh yes you certainly will die. Raging floods and burning flames and hunters come with machine guns, fine! Why not! There’s got to be a better time for talk about death. The Sandusky trial no doubt turned the Malkin dinner table into a comedy club with routines on the weakness of the flesh, buttsex with Lot’s pals, etc.
In the dismal aftermath of the Sandy Hook shootings (and while death hangs in the air isn’t it fun to read what wingnuts think?), look who has put their heads together and come up with “Newtown Answers.” Nobody. But some folks less than sane and more than arrogant updated their website, so we’re left with the National Review.
By way of an “NRO Symposium” — traditionally a shipboard shrimp eating contest suspended mid-way to pry Pantload’s half-eaten hand from his gob — the Review staff claims it has solved American spree-killing. So this will be all wrong. I’ve gotten as far as the first ‘Answer,’ and here it is from Charlotte Allen:
There was not a single adult male on the school premises when the shooting occurred. In this school of 450 students, a sizeable number of whom were undoubtedly 11- and 12-year-old boys (it was a K–6 school), all the personnel — the teachers, the principal, the assistant principal, the school psychologist, the “reading specialist” — were female. There didn’t even seem to be a male janitor to heave his bucket at Adam Lanza’s knees. Women and small children are sitting ducks for mass-murderers . . in general, a feminized setting is a setting in which helpless passivity is the norm.
There go two problems. Women and children. You can’t count on them to offer better than kindness, caring and love when faced with a mass murderer. Let’s remember that Adam Lanza is on his way because killers are always on their way as this is America [someone might wanna take a look at this place --ed.]. You can get some chimpanzee chaperones, or you can fight back:
There are things you can do. Run is one of them, because most shooters can’t hit a moving target. The other, if you are in a confined space, is throw things at the killer, or try a tackle.
Throw a crayon at Adam. Or a kite if it’s handy. Then after taking 49 headshots, tell yourself “Oooh Mr. Adam. What a tackle I’ll give you.” And then you give him everything you’ve got.
Assrocket wonders about the Sandy Hook mass shooting. He probably shouldn’t do that but, you know, dogs and their balls. So John thinks and he posts a post about how exactly He’s Been Thinking.
A logical starting point is to ask why mass murderers like Adam Lanza do it. Most of them don’t intend to survive; their murders are a form of suicide culminating in their own deaths. The impulse to suicide is understandable, but what is the point of murdering ten or twenty school children or mall shoppers first?
I don’t know. Your turn.
I think the answer, for most such murderers anyway, is that they want to go out in a blaze of notoriety. Typically people who have made little impression on the world in life, they want to become famous in death.
Not sure about that, but I’ll play along. So . .
. . one practical response to the school/theater/mall murderers presents itself: we could ban all news coverage of mass shooting incidents. If newspapers, magazines, web sites and above all television and radio stations were prohibited from making any reference to mass shooting crimes, then the goal that these criminals seek–fame; in effect, immortality–would not be achieved. It is reasonable to expect that mass shootings would decline as a result.
Here you have the conservative mind laid bare. We should eviscerate the First Amendment to protect the Second. A perfect gem of insane. It’s wonderful that anybody at all can wield a .50 caliber cannon, but everybody must shut up after it’s used to aerate an Arby’s. Under penalty of law mind you. This is so patriotic it’s practically an Apple Pi. You loose the Smith and Wesson butthurts anywhere near the Constitution, this is what you get.
Hark! Is that Charlton Heston?
I say the Second Amendment is, in order of importance, the first amendment. It is America’s First Freedom, the one right that protects all of the others. Among freedom of speech, of the press, of religion, of assembly, of redress of grievances, it is the first among equals. It alone offers the absolute capacity to live without fear. The right to keep and bear arms is the one right that allows “rights” to exist at all.
Now we have to blow John’s brains out. Try to take away my First Amendment, huh?
Nuzzleglance Pocketorbs, son of Alley Oop, doesn’t much care for government programs whereby you pay for retirement, then you get old and get your money back.
Our Enemy, the Payroll Tax
By ROSS DOUTHAT | New York Times
. . Payroll taxes are a relic of New Deal Machiavellianism: by taking a bite of every worker’s paycheck and promising postretirement returns, Franklin Roosevelt effectively disguised Social Security as a pay-as-you-go system, even though the program actually redistributes from rich to poor and young to old. That disguise has helped keep Social Security sacrosanct — hailed by Democrats because it protects the poor and backed by Republicans as a reward for steady work.
By “taking a bite of every worker’s paycheck and promising postretirement returns,” everyone is assured a minimal income in old age. Don’t know how this confuses.
For the Douthats, the human bulldozers mechanized under the philosophical tents of conservatism, they find it annoyingly hard to push the poor back into the Victorian dregs as long as the feds have provided a retirement program, and financed it with the poors’ own money. So this post provides no wonder.
Ross would love to see direct-pay Social Security savaged because its finances would get bounced into the nebulous world of appropriation foofery and budgets renoberation. After that, t’would be game on.
Slate’s Daniel Engber with Both Sides Do It, science clown edition:
Beware, for thou that judgest doest the same things: Members of both parties have had to squiggle through elections by appealing to a hazy sense of geo-history. In fact, the Antichrist himself—Barack Obama—has had a tendency to get a little soft with science.
First — remember this? Marco Rubio, eyes fixed on our presidency, couldn’t come up with any guess as to the age of his home, the Earth. What is he, Pope Ptolemy? He’s running for office for Pete’s sake.
I’m not a scientist, man. I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says, but I think that’s a dispute amongst theologians and I think it has nothing to do with the gross domestic product or economic growth of the United States. I think the age of the universe has zero to do with how our economy is going to grow. I’m not a scientist. I don’t think I’m qualified to answer a question like that.
He’s not a scientist. He’s not a theologian. He’s not the body of a falcon with the head of a ferocious lion. How the heck should he know? Marco only pawn . . in game of life. Now Rubio’s doppelganger makes an entrance:
Q: Senator [Obama], if one of your daughters asked you—and maybe they already have—“Daddy, did god really create the world in 6 days?,” what would you say?
A: What I’ve said to them is that I believe that God created the universe and that the six days in the Bible may not be six days as we understand it … it may not be 24-hour days, and that’s what I believe. I know there’s always a debate between those who read the Bible literally and those who don’t, and I think it’s a legitimate debate within the Christian community of which I’m a part. My belief is that the story that the Bible tells about God creating this magnificent Earth on which we live—that is essentially true, that is fundamentally true. Now, whether it happened exactly as we might understand it reading the text of the Bible: That, I don’t presume to know.
Yes, of course, it’s obvious. Both sides did not do it. But let’s let Engber embarrass himself, we’re trying here to have some fun:
Both senators refuse to give an honest answer to the question. Neither deigns to mention that the Earth is 4.54 billion years old . .
Why in the world would Obama say that? He was asked how long it took to “create the world.” The best answer to that ain’t 4.54 billion years, buddy. The best answer is jillionths of jillionths of a second. Our tiny Earth’s creation only occurred as a consequence of the Big Bang, billions of years after the fact.
Additionally, the manner in which the world (or the Earth) was created and the point in time when it was created are two different things. It may take Ford Motor Company six days to put together a Taurus, but that doesn’t tell you when someone drove it off the assembly line. Obama, unlike Rubio, is clearly talking about how the world was created, not what date.
Engber has got some nerve to lecture people on science and facts when he can’t even comprehend what he’s reading. The President’s response is a politically deft but passable answer. No one knows yet — certainly science doesn’t — what happened before the Big Bang. It is possible the creation of the universe was finalized in a cataclysmic explosion at twelve midnight, on the sixth day. You may take annoyance at the loitering of a present-universe metaphor, but you can’t factually dismiss it.
Science operates by the application of logic not by the appearance of sophistication. Engber falls prey to his own laziness, but tee-hee Both Sides Do It.
Marco Rubio displays the growing courage it takes to be a presidential candidate. Kudos to him, he just wowed a million or so illiterates of the usual stripe. Erick Erickson is moved to declare how awesome he is because Jesus always wins. You book muggles may not judge us or any of our Bible facts.
Marco Rubio is getting beaten up by the press for not decisively and convincingly saying he thinks the world is billions of years old . . This issue has become the new litmus test in the media for conservative politicians. Believing what was believed to be literally true for a few thousand years is now nutty.
Nothing beats ‘old.’ Science shares a great deal with antiquing that way. Which makes me wonder which of those gems, having been “literally true for a few thousand years,” Erick still holds dear. We’re talking facts far pre-dating Jesus’ birth here.
We might cast an eye toward the Egyptians? Does Apophis still daily harasses the ascension of Ra in his solar boats Mandjet and Mesektet, Erick? You couldn’t possibly think the sun is a godless blob, how absurd. That’s an argument so new it needs a fresh diaper and a scolding. Dear Jesus, I pray: A computer in ‘sleeper’ mode is not undergoing an eclipse. Do not throw rocks at it. Do let Erick know.
After any stinging Republican loss, conservatives always — always – respond to the defeat by saying the same old thing. The candidate wasn’t conservative enough. In 2012, Depression-era pundit Richard Viguerie got there first:
“The battle to take over the Republican Party begins today and the failed Republican leadership should resign,” said Richard Viguerie, a top activist and chairman of ConservativeHQ.com.
He said the lesson on Romney’s loss to President Obama on Tuesday is that the GOP must “never again” nominate a “a big government established conservative for president.”
This year, the hoary old chestnut is funnier than ever.
“Tea Partiers will take over the Republican party in the next four years,” Viguerie said.
In the meantime, conservatives will work to ensure that congressional Republicans do not compromise their principles in fiscal talks with Obama, he said.
The Tea Party just got eviscerated. Front-men Allen West, Todd Akin, Richard Mourdock and Joe Walsh got defenestrated from the government. The most famous teabagger perhaps in the country, Michele Bachmann, had to spend something like $20 million for the thousand votes that kept her seat. It was likely the most expensive congressional campaign in history. How’s that for grassroots? What’s up with populist appeal? Snake venom should be so well-loved.
Sometimes conventional wisdom happens to be wise. White men no longer can cast enough votes. Women went for Obama by at least 10 points. Hispanics are the fastest growing population in America, and they broke something like +44(!) for the incumbent. If the wingnuts still want to ignore ‘demographics,’ that’s fine. Let them declare again that conservative philosophy alone is sufficiently magic to win elections for centuries to come. Let Edmund Burke re-visit the Earth and shatter the dreams of Democrats for as long as he likes. Until then, I’m happy to see this:
. . any “conservative” pundit or website that is talking about the need to appeal to Latinos (or any other ethnic or identity group) in a way that effectively surrenders first principles for a chance at taking power — deeming this move “realistic” or pragmatic, while sneering at the “purists” who simply Don’t Know How Things In DC Work — is not, in fact, conservative; is not, in fact, a constitutionalist; and is not, in fact, part of your “team.”
. . they can keep their damned brand. Because as I noted yesterday, their brand couldn’t turn out enough voters to defeat a disastrous President running on myths and lies. So what good is it?
Jeff’s point: The Romneyites did very badly with Latinos and then lost so what good are Latinos? Makes plenty sense. Comments, anyone?
sdferr says November 8, 2012 at 10:03 am
“We need to pander to Hispanics. Why?”
Ah, but not “Why?” — rather, How? To which end I jest.
Teach the Spics to read Attic Greek and Latin, as well as English, German, French and . . . . . . . . . presto-change-o: Classical Liberals!
There was once a conservative American Christian so driven by Muslim hate that he made the most Islam-insulting propaganda piece anyone had ever seen. And that’s why the President stinks. Did you know? Ann Coulter knows:
With the economy in the toilet and the Islamic world on fire, when Obama appears in person it’s even worse than if he were sleeping.
The Muslims are burning. It is very tragic. Why hasn’t the President put out the fire? You would think he’d care. A real president would care. Lonely Conservative:
Violent Islamists are literally setting the world on fire, and what is President Obama doing? He met with Olympians and will go to a fundraiser later.
He could stop the conflagration. Will he? No, the jerk. Michelle Malkin:
White House schedule for World on Fire Friday: Where’s POTUS?
President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama welcome the 2012 U.S. Olympic and Paralympic teams to the White House Friday, the daily schedule said.
It’s really the entire world, aflame. Britain, Brazil, the Bahamas. After the terrorist firebugs turned Belgium into a coal pit, Barack should have done something. Anything. Did he? Nope.
With The World On Fire Why Is Obama Putting So Much Focus On Big Bird
Mitt Romney, speaking to a crowd of about 1,200 on a farm here in Van Meter, Iowa, criticized President Obama’s recent focus on Big Bird on the campaign trail.
Angel at pushbacknow.com worries about the Muslims. Meanwhile Obama agitates for Big Bird. Now you know who’s really American. Now you know who gives a damn. That fire wouldn’t stand a chance in Angel’s world. And now that we’ve gotten that straight, it’s time for free speech.
Everybody Burn The Koran
The FBI use the authority of their offices to intimidate Pastor Jones into calling off his Koran bonfire.
That is an assault on Free Speech by our own Federal Government.
Says Infidel Bloggers Alliance. Torch their holy book, fight for free speech. You Muslims can’t tell us what to do. We’re Freedom. Fuck off, bomb throwers.
If We Can’t Burn the Koran, Then Islam Isn’t Worth Spit
. . The choice is clear: We either accept their verdict that Islam is a second-class religion or we proceed undeterred with our Western treatment of Islam. Personally, I’m not comfortable handling Islam with kid-gloves, treating it with the same tact and delicacy that we otherwise reserve for the mentally retarded. So my message to anyone with a match and a Koran is simple: “Burn, baby! Burn!.”
Mormon Mentality: Fire = Free Speech. Nothing could be more American. We’ll turn your book to cinders if it pisses you off, and when it pisses you off it’s your own fault. Where’s the president, incidentally?
The Power of the Koran!
I hope [Terry Jones] burns the Koran every day from here on out. As a matter of fact if he’ll burn them, I’ll donate a few to him if he runs short of fire material. Why? Why would I support burning books? Someone who believes so much in freedom, someone who hates communism and socialism would succumb to book burning as righteous. Nope that’s not my reason. I support the pastors right to burn whatever he wants. But especially when it drives muslims crazy…Makes my day.
That’s ‘American and Proud.’ Sure it inflames the Muslims, which is good. We’re burning their favorite things! He supports protest, which is something Obama wouldn’t even allow. That guy would like to shut everybody up, when he isn’t doing a thing about the Muslim holocaust/inferno. It’s obscene. A&P is like iowntheworld:
Let’s Read and Then Burn the Koran
Must see TV! THIS WOMAN HAS BALLS OF STEEL AND IS AN AMERICAN HERO. MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE LAST MINUTE OF THIS CLIP.
Fire is heroic, as is Ann Barnhardt. Bless her balls of steel and bowl of ashes. You can’t stop us, Obama, we burn with freedom. Incidentally, why haven’t you stopped us? Talk about a spineless phony.
There’s an answer to this problem, of course: Mitt Romney. He’ll extinguish the Middle East, with missiles. He’ll be the Red Adair of American foreign policy. Fire in the hole.
And now for some breezy Saturday night pop psychology. From the expansive mind of Stephen Rittenberg, MD, I give you: “Big Bird, Liberalism, and Perversion.”
We begin with the good doctor telling us he has been observing wimps and fairies for fifty years. Now he has noticed something about liberals. Something . . shall we say familiar? We shall.
The screaming and caterwauling, the marches announced to defend the puppet, reveal some important truths about contemporary liberalism and its adherents. Gov. Romney in one witty comment suggested that it is time to grow up, to relinquish the utopian fantasy of a blissful androgynous childhood free of conflict. In one comment, he leveled a blast at the feminized metrosexual culture of contemporary liberalism . .
Liberals long for what Big Bird represents: that utopian childish dream world where differences of gender, talent, fortune, looks, race, color, intelligence, etc. do not exist.
Naw. Not wishing for oblivion, Doc. I can get that with beer (see you soon, my love). Just preferring that children be entertained by Sesame Street rather than the kiddie cocaine dealers at Disney or Pokemon Conglomeration Inc. You sure sound smart, though.
I have written previously in American Thinker about perversion as a mode of thinking, not just a form of sexual behavior. Perversion (see the Marquis de Sade) seeks to abolish all differences — of gender, of generations, of species. The incest taboo is overturned, species differences are abolished, and the distinction between animate and inanimate is dismissed as all things are reduced to fecal sameness. Sade anticipated the dreams of postmodern wordsmith intellectuals.
I buffet your cotton-candy taint with my handcrafted syllables. Tanqueray. Trinitron. Tidykatz. Travelocity. Sshhh, you be quiet. We are one. Beer, please.
Joe Biden is an example to illustrate Heywood Hale Broun’s definition of a liberal: “A man who leaves the room when the fight begins.” He was fortunate that Ryan chose to remain calm in the face of provocation. What really undergirds the delight over Biden’s rude tantrum and his bizarre affect is rage at the fact that Romney proved himself to be a mature man while his opponent revealed himself to be a child, a weak and immature person — in short, a wimp.
Ryan woulda kicked Joe’s ass — fucken-a! Also, the President’s a faggot. This is what happens to you when you’re nihilist, perverse and immature — the intellectuals over at American Thinker slap your balls around.
One of the remarkable aspects of the presidential campaign is that we have been able to see a candidate who represents the postmodern blurring of gender — a metrosexual man who is, in the current cant phrase, “in touch” with his feminine side. Who would have guessed we’d have a president who tosses a baseball like a girl?
You think George Patton threw like a girl? No sir, he threw like a man. Like an animal, man. George threw a baseball like a pissed off Tyrannosaurus. You couldn’t even catch it, you could only get dominated by it. It would fuck you silly and then rip your purse apart looking for cab fare. George’s baseball was something of a bastard.
Let us not underestimate the skill with which the president is able to represent his postmodern, androgynous, egalitarian vision. He goes on The View and schmoozes with Oprah, just like the gossipy woman next door. He prides himself on identifying with angry women and children. You would not be surprised to hear him share his deep feeling for what women go through physically . .
You would not be surprised to find him skipping out on homeroom to meet that hippie, Todd Meacham, under the bleachers. Or trading candy for kisses at the spirit rally. Or hiking up his skirt whenever the jocks walked by. How Becky Adalardo gets away with it we don’t know, but we ain’t complaining.