Global Warming? GLOBAL WARMING? No way, dude! How do I know? Beeeccaauuuse . . whatever! You people are stupid!
Speaking of which, some sorry doomsday-er writing for a broken-down self-publishing site wrote a hilarious piece of guffaw science a couple days ago. Boy, the Global Warming deniers did lap it up. Like it was truffle syrup:
Magnetic polar shifts causing massive global superstorms
by Terrence Aym | Salem-News | Feb 4, 2011
NASA has been warning about it…scientific papers have been written about it…geologists have seen its traces in rock strata and ice core samples…
Now “it” is here: an unstoppable magnetic pole shift that has sped up and is causing life-threatening havoc with the world’s weather.
Forget about global warming—man-made or natural—what drives planetary weather patterns is the climate and what drives the climate is the sun’s magnetosphere and its electromagnetic interaction with a planet’s own magnetic field.
Terrence Aym discovered the real cause of Earth’s weather: his mind.
The magnetic field drives weather to a significant degree and when that field starts migrating superstorms start erupting.
The superstorms have arrived.
Did you get that? Here it is, again:
Solar Winds –> Shifting Poles –> Boogie Shoes –> Blue 32 –> SUPERSTORMS
No? Fine, let’s let the science experts from the Point N. Laff Institute for Wingnuttery explain it:
IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT…
Posted by John Hinderaker | Power Line | February 5, 2011
…try this: the Earth’s northern magnetic pole is speeding to the East at an accelerating rate, and the North and South magnetic poles may be about to change places . .
The problem, for those who tend to worry, is that only one Doomsday scenario has to turn out to be true for us to be in big trouble.
That problem would be for all of us, regardless. But . . WAIT! This just in — more breaking news of global catastrophe . .
How BP Gulf disaster may have triggered a ‘world-killing’ event
by Terrence Aym | Helium.com
Ominous reports are leaking past the BP Gulf salvage operation news blackout that the disaster unfolding in the Gulf of Mexico may be about to reach biblical proportions.
251 million years ago a mammoth undersea methane bubble caused massive explosions, poisoned the atmosphere and destroyed more than 96 percent of all life on Earth . .
The bottom line: BP’s Deepwater Horizon drilling operation may have triggered an irreversible, cascading geological Apocalypse that will culminate with the first mass extinction of life on Earth in many millions of years.
WELL. What say you of Terrence “you’re dead to me” Aym, Professor Moran?
Earth’s Magnetic Pole Flipping?
by Rick Moran | Right Wing Nuthouse | 2/6/2011
. . There’s good news and bad news here. The good news is that there appears to be absolutely nothing we can do to affect what is happening. In other words, there won’t be any “mangnetic [sic] credits” or “geo-magneto swap” schemes to enrich the Al Gores of the world. I’m pretty sure magnets won’t be outlawed nor will magnetism be declared hazardous to our health.
The bad news is Jesus is coming and he’s taking names and kicking butt.
So, the Great Jesus Pole Dance of Magnetic Apocalypse: you bet. Global Warming: don’t be stupid!
Hey, Terrence? What of this ‘Jesus’?
Astronomers now predict killer asteroid will hit Earth in 2036
by Terrence Aym | Helium.com
Grim astronomers in Russia have recalculated the trajectory of the ominous asteroid Apophis and now predict it will slam into Earth on April 13, 2036 . .
Yes, here he comes. And he’s a hard man. Dr. Ledeen? Your thoughts?
So Maybe it Was Global Freezing After All?
By Michael Ledeen | National Review | February 5, 2011
The Russians have been saying it for decades, and maybe it’s true. Here is a compelling roundup of the recent literature that suggests that. It’s great reading for us “we do not live in a benevolent universe” types (I’m a longtime Velikovsky fan). If true, it’s kinda important. I’m going to invest in cashmere futures …
The “compelling roundup” of science literature is, of course, the Magneto-Superstorm! article by the ironically self-styled Renaissance man, Terrence Aym. This guy:
How Brilliant Computer Scientists Solved the Bermuda Triangle Mystery
Terrence Aym | Salem-News | Aug-06-2010
(CHICAGO) – According to two research scientists the mystery of vanished ships and airplanes in the region dubbed “The Bermuda Triangle” has been solved.
Step aside outer space aliens, time anomalies, submerged giant Atlantean pyramids and bizarre meteorological phenomena … the “Triangle” simply suffers from an acute case of gas . .
And the link is already dead.
ADD: The post is back up. And WHEW, cuz, you know . . freaky.