Category: *holes

Clayton Bigsby raises his fist and cries out ‘CHRIST POWER’

Is it really 2015? Because lately it feels more like, I don’t know. The early twentieth century.

The aspiring anti-Semitic senator is Robert Ransdell, a longtime white supremacist who has spoken at KKK-type rallies and is affiliated with the National Alliance…

with jews we lose

“Only about a month until I am on the air, mainstream radio, primed to start a legitimate ‘conversation’ about race, as in a racially conscious White man letting loose on the problems we face, that so many of our people are beginning to wake up to.”

‘And where is this?’ you ask. Kentucky. ‘Oh right – Kentucky.’ Yeah well don’t get too puffed up there, Binky Benetton.

Openly anti-Semitic candidates are not as uncommon in the U.S. as one might think, though they are thankfully relegated to the fringes of the discourse.

Okay alright then, sigh. Go ahead lay it on me. Ahem HERE in America…two, three…We Don’t Tolerate Bigots. Oh, really? Izzat so? Yep, that’s right. Well well, Mr. You Ess of Ehh, aren’t you something? Heh yes, well, Dr. King melting pot. And ON the offhand chance – you will pardon me – that one of these terrible people happens to show up, what do you do with them? Duhh umm…do we do with him? Yes. Yeah well, this – you mean, you don’t know? No. What we do is, we relegate him…to…’the fringes.’ Ta-Daaa! ‘The fringes’ was that? Yes. Really? Affirmative. That’s what you do? You heard me. And you’re serious? I am, most surely. To…’the fringes’?

Todd then asked Carson, whose rise in the polls has been powered in large part by Christian conservatives, if he believed that “Islam is consistent with the Constitution.”

“No, I don’t, I do not,” he responded, adding, “I would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation. I absolutely would not agree with that.”

Ben Carson is as openly bigoted as that Kentucky Jew-hater.

carson catches fire

And he’s currently polling in second place. Right behind…Donald Trump.

“Can you imagine supporting or being comfortable if a Muslim ever became president of the United States?” Todd asked Trump.

“I can say that, you know, it’s something that at some point could happen. We’ll see. You know, it’s something that could happen…I mean, some people have said it already happened, frankly.”


I’m sick of Donald Trump, how about you?

I’m just going to post this here.

Speaking at a campaign rally in New Hampshire, Trump told the crowd he’d field their toughest questions.

“Make them vicious, violent, terrible questions,” Trump said.

The first man stood and declared:

“We have a problem in this country, it’s called Muslims. We know our current president is one — you know he’s not even an American. But anyway, we have training camps growing where they want to kill us. That’s my question, when can we get rid of them?”

You want the worst? You got it. These are the most “terrible questions” so far brought to the attention of the Republican contenders.

1.) Muslims are a problem in this country.
2.) The president is one of them.
3.) The president is not an American.
4.) Muslims are being trained to kill us.
5.) When can we get rid of them?

Donald could have responded in his best Jordan Peele. “You sir are a raging psychopath, don’t let this town take that away from you.” But that’s not how his campaign works.

Trump responded: “We’re going to be looking at a lot of different things, a lot of people are saying bad things are happening, we’re going to be looking at that and plenty of other things.”

Donald responded instead in his best Donald Trump. “You sir are a sensible man, my administration will address your concerns.” This fake humility is not as charming as it once was.

A second man stood and made the same claim.

“I applaud the gentleman who stood and said Obama is a Muslim born abroad and about the military camps, everyone knows that,” he said.

“Right,” Trump responded, before quickly moving to the next questioner.

This is not the most decent-honorable way to run a presidential campaign.

As recently as July, Trump has said he doesn’t know where the president was born. “I don’t know. I really don’t know,” he told CNN. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t release his records.”

Trump on Thursday also fielded a question from a conspiracy theorist who told him that there is a “new holocaust” in New Hampshire and that people are being loaded into boxcars and beheaded by members of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.

“I just wanted you to know that,” the woman said. Trump moved on without addressing the woman’s claim.

This is douchey race-skeezing of the lowest order.

Flak-monger number one:

“All he heard was a question about training camps, which he said we have to look into. The media want to make this an issue about Obama, but it’s about him waging a war on Christianity.”

Flak-monger number two:

“There’s a lot of feelings about a lot of things in the country right now, with a lot of the immigrants that are coming into the country. Now is it about the Muslims? I think really it’s about what’s going on in this country at this point and time…Why don’t we get off of this subject already, you know?”



We’d be better off without such leadership, Madame

If there’s one thing that’s familiar about politicians it’s that they love to put their own needs above everybody else’s. What’s less familiar is the occasion when the selfish ass ends up being a Democrat. It’s especially galling when that person turns out to be the head of the Democratic National Committee…

Democratic National Committee Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz prevented consideration of a resolution at the party’s summer meeting here that praised President Obama and offered backing for the nuclear agreement with Iran, according to knowledgeable Democrats.

Even though the Democratic caucus is overwhelmingly in favor of the agreement, Wasserman Schultz killed the resolution. Why? Because she’s Debbie Fucking Wasserman Schultz. And she’s the chairman.

A party spokeswoman and said procedural issues prevented the proposed resolution from being considered [*haabooshit*…pardon me.]. She did not directly address Wasserman Schultz’s role in the decision-making. Other Democrats said that it was congresswoman’s direct opposition that blocked its consideration…

Wasserman Schultz, who represents a heavily Jewish congressional district in south Florida, has not taken a position on the agreement.

Debbie’s hoping the agreement goes down in flames, but she doesn’t have the guts to say so. So she’s pretending to “analyze” the thing while keeping an eye on the clock. Meanwhile other Democrats, some of whom are plenty sick of careerist cowards like her and Chuck Schumer, pressed the matter with a resolution…which she scotched. Because the Warrin’ Iran caucus back in Miami would be so disappointed if she didn’t Defend Israel! with all her might. Public service, my ass.

Some Democrats on the national committee who were unhappy that the resolution did not come up for consideration said that, as DNC chair, Wasserman Schultz owed her allegiance in this instance to the president, regardless of her own local political considerations.

That’s a polite way of saying it. When the de facto leader of the Democratic Party (the President) and 90% of the caucus are all in favor of such an historic agreement, your job is to put aside your own ego and get out of the way. Either that, or just resign. But then Debbie’s always seen the DNC chairmanship as a career-maker so we can be sure that’ll never happen. Why she doesn’t just forward her résumé to the Netanyahu government, I don’t know.


Ted Cruz the apocalyptic beast

A vicious man on the campaign trail. In June we were hit with this horrible news:

Beau Biden, a former Delaware attorney general, died on Saturday of brain cancer at age 46. President Barack Obama is to deliver the eulogy at a funeral Mass for Biden on Saturday in Wilmington, Delaware, the White House said on Tuesday.

Ted Cruz responded…

…on Wednesday in Michigan: “Joe Biden … You know what the nice thing is? You don’t even need a punch line.”

Everybody point and laugh at the man burying his son. Ha ha ha dig graves much, pal?

Two days ago we were shocked to hear this:

And then Jimmy Carter spoke, with the lilt of a South Georgia farmer and the pragmatic frankness of a seasoned executive, about the cancer that had been removed from his liver, but was more recently discovered in his brain…

“I’m perfectly at ease with whatever comes,” Mr. Carter said, speaking before the news media here at the Carter Center, the nonprofit dedicated to global health and democracy that he co-founded in 1982. “I do have a deep religious faith, which I’m very grateful for.”

Metastatic melanoma of the liver and brain is fatal. It’s not a question of whether it will end his life, it’s a question of when. We wish the president the best in a long and productive fight against cancer. Yesterday Ted Cruz was at it again.

I think the parallels between this administration and the Carter administration are uncanny. Same failed domestic policy, same misery, stagnation and malaise…

- disclaimer -

Obama boom

…same feckless and naive foreign policy. In fact, the exact same countries, Russia and Iran, openly laughing at and mocking the president of the United States.

Ted Cruz is a hyena. Wherever misery and death appear he bares his fangs and starts tearing away. Can Biden or Carter possibly defend themselves in terrible times? Of course they can’t. So this is all by design. Pity the mangy beast polling at 7%, it’s the only meal he’s had in weeks. Do Republicans cringe at this viciousness, or do they like it?

GOP presidential hopeful Ted Cruz is the anointed one, according to Iowa state campaign chairman Matt Schultz…

“God raises special men and women to protect his people, and I believe this is one of those moments in time. … Ted Cruz is that man who God has prepared for this moment in time.”

Of course, they like it – they love it. Why else would insult comic Donald Trump be doing so spectacularly? Incidentally there’s a Revelations parallel in the Ted Cruz Story I think, ‘born of a jackal’ and all that. Hell, if you want to call him the Antichrist I won’t complain. See also: The GOP has become the party of infantile rage


Donald Trump slams John McCain, prisoner of war

Dateline: Donald Trump takes the Republican caucus by storm. I figure this is because the billionaire has the guts to tell it like it really is – as he did again this morning, while talking about Senator John McCain.

He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero — he’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured, I hate to tell you.

If nothing else The Donald gets you to thinking. Is John McCain a war hero? Are prisoners of war all losers? Are winners the only people who should run for president? Can we trust a mouthy billionaire? These are thorny questions. Good thing I’m a liberal.


Olivia Nuzzi: Biggest political hack in the world

Shorter the Daily Beast’s political reporter puke confiseur, Olivia Nuzzi:

Today I visited Hillary Island, a Summertime creeping police state ghost town dystopia right out of Grand Theft Auto, featuring brutalist architecture, decaying smallpox hospitals, fake forests and abandoned insane asylums, and populated by O.J. Simpson impersonators, bomb-sniffing dogs, security goons, balding meatheads, cart-careening cops, and a few Men In Black, as well as the autocrat candidate herself who looked and acted like a complete robot, refused to say anything she hadn’t poll-tested, stole shamelessly from Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, lied about her support for gay people, and then declared that all American corporations were “no good.” After all that the old lady tried singing the Beatles’ “Yesterday” to the crowd, but every note was sour. Please like me on Facebook.

Bonus: Twitter hacking.


Jeb Bush reads Charles Murray

You know how presidential candidates need to pretend that they’re smart. They take on ghost writers and foreign policy mavens. They consult with academics and speech writers, they confab with number crunchers. They will even – as happens in the sadder cases, like with the Texas governor – start walking around with thick black-rimmed glasses on their faces. It’s pathetic. But it’s understood that feigned intelligence is a sign of political ambition, and this somehow means something to the electorate.

From the campaign trail:

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (R) declared himself to be a fan of controversial social scientist Charles Murray’s books at a forum Thursday in Washington…

“I like Charles Murray books to be honest with you, which means I’m a total nerd I guess,” Bush said.

Charles Murray. The Nazi? Ahem:

Try to imagine a GOP presidential candidate saying in front of the cameras “One reason that we still have poverty in the United States is that a lot of poor people are born lazy.” You cannot imagine it because that kind of thing cannot be said. …when we know the complete genetic story, it will turn out that the population below the poverty line in the United States has a configuration of the relevant genetic makeup that is significantly different from the configuration of the population above the poverty line.”

I get that he writes big books and everything, but he’s also the face of academic racism in the country. If anybody can be called a brainy white supremacist, it’s Murray. There are many far more appealing intellectuals to hitch your political wagon to.

Lowry asked Bush, “… is there any policy or anything public officials can do to help turn back what has been a rising tide of family breakdown crossing decades now?”

“Absolutely, there is,” Bush, a likely 2016 Republican presidential candidate, said. “It’s not exactly the core. My views on this were shaped a lot on this by Charles Murray’s book, except I was reading the book and I was waiting for the last chapter with the really cool solutions — didn’t quite get there.”

Cool solutions you say? That’s right up Murray’s alley:

The technically precise description of America’s fertility policy is that it subsidizes births among poor women, who are also disproportionately at the low end of the intelligence distribution. We urge generally that these policies, represented by the extensive network of cash and services for low-income women who have babies, be ended.

Cut off “cash and services” to America’s poor mothers. No more Medicaid for the coloreds and their children. After all, what’s the point of helping these people when they’re just stupid? This is your GOP frontrunner’s favorite social science thinker.


In the Republican style: New Jersey’s Chris Christie

October of 2010:

The largest public transit project in the nation, a commuter train tunnel under the Hudson River to Manhattan, was halted on Thursday by Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey because, he said, the state could not afford its share of the project’s rising cost…

The governor, a Republican, said he decided to withdraw his support for the project on Thursday after hearing from state transportation officials that the project would cost at least $2.5 billion more than its original price of $8.7 billion.

But Christie lied.

Now, a report from the Government Accountability Office makes it clear that the cost-cutting talk was political bluster. Mr. Christie estimated that the project could cost more than $14 billion, of which New Jersey would have had to pay 70 percent if you counted federal stimulus dollars and Port Authority money. The report said later federal estimates ranged from $9.8 billion to $12.4 billion and that the state’s real share was 14.4 percent. The benefits would have been huge…

The report, which Mr. Christie continues to dispute, cited estimates that home values and tax revenues would have risen, and that the construction would have added $9 billion to the regional economy.

It would have done so much good. But the Governor wasn’t having it.

At the time, analysts predicted that the project would raise New Jersey property values by $18 billion and allow $50 billion in new wages to come back to the state from New York City.

What a tragedy for New Jersey. And none of it makes any sense…until it does.

As Streetsblog reported at the time, it was all about New Jersey’s empty, debt-ridden transportation trust fund. New Jersey’s gas tax, the third-lowest in the country, hasn’t been raised for 23 years. The infrastructure funding woes that can be found across the country, therefore, are even more acute there. When Christie killed the ARC tunnel, the highway trust fund was expected to go bankrupt within a year.

Because the Republican wouldn’t raise the gas tax a couple pennies, the transportation fund was broke. So he killed the tunnel, stole the federal government’s money and then deposited it in New Jersey’s account. And though it earned the state an expensive federal lawsuit, he declared himself Fiscally Responsible. What a clever little man. Maybe he should run for president.

But of course Chris Christie is a big fat liar.

THE decision by the administration of Gov. Chris Christie to settle an environmental lawsuit against Exxon Mobil Corporation for roughly three cents on the dollar after more than a decade of litigation is an embarrassment to law enforcement and good government.

Even more troubling are the circumstances surrounding the decision, which recently came to light. As a judge deliberated whether to assess the $8.9 billion in damages New Jersey sought, the administration stepped in and agreed to take about $250 million and settle the case.

The state of New Jersey had won their environmental damage case against ExxonMobil. Their prosecutors were waiting to see how much – if not all – of their $8.9 billion claim the judge would award. But then Christie stepped in.

Former colleagues of mine in state government, where I served as commissioner of environmental protection from 2002 to 2006, have told me that Mr. Christie’s chief counsel inserted himself into the case, elbowed aside the attorney general and career employees who had developed and prosecuted the litigation, and cut the deal favorable to Exxon.

The oil giant, one of the most profitable energy companies in the world, had already been found liable. The only question that remained was, how much would it have to pay?

Now we know, and the result is a disgrace.

So ExxonMobil got away with barely a scratch.

I don’t see how this is good government. A fully-funded $8.7 billion dollar tunnel project that returns many more billions back to the people of New Jersey is too expensive for the skinflint governor, or so he says, and he kills it. But an $8.9 billion dollar lawsuit that the state had already won is quick-settled for pennies on the dollar, without so much as a plausible reason, or public comment. All of this leaves New Jersey short…$8.7 billion dollars. Meanwhile, his vaunted transportation fund

The Tri-State Transportation Campaign, a nonprofit advocacy and transportation policy organization called the fund’s insolvency “a legitimate crisis” worsened by the fact that Christie’s 2016 budget calls for slashing transportation spending by 8.4 percent, or about $119 million less than the current fiscal year.

…is once again broke. Oh, if only the governor hadn’t butted into the courtroom. The settlement from the lawsuit could have bankrolled the entire trust fund for 6 years. Or it could have plugged the hole in New Jersey’s yearly budget – the Christie Crisis – for the next 11 years. Or it could have paid for that old tunnel project, ignoring the fact it had of course already been bought and paid for, until some politician scotched it then pocketed the government money.

So it turns out that Chris Christie is not really fiscally responsible. He is in fact shockingly reckless, self-serving and stupid. And while as governor he should be trying to better the lives of his own constituents, he’d just prefer to grease his own dick. He’s…well, a Republican. I’d certainly be interested to hear what the famous loudmouth has to say about all this, but I get the feeling he’s currently hiding somewhere.

Christie was scheduled to give the opening speech at the American Enterprise Institute’s World Forum at a luxury resort on Sea Island, according to Bloomberg News. Corporate documents show that ExxonMobil has been a major benefactor of AEI, a conservative think tank in Washington whose scholars have disputed the scientific consensus on climate change and touted ExxonMobil as a “taxation hero.”

Or hanging out with old friends…


The Politican and The Nurse

We have people here in America, doctors and nurses, who are willing to fly to dodgy places in order to help save the lives of people they don’t even know. And when one of these selfless professionals comes home, what happens to her? Does she get offered a simple ‘Thank You’? Does anybody greet her at the terminal and hand her a trophy, or plaque? NO. These days, what happens is a New Jersey politician uses her to wipe his ass. Just forget everything you heard him say only three days ago…

“[B]ut we are not going to be in the business of stoking hysteria about this in the public,” he continued, citing that his experience in crisis management in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy has made him convinced of the need to remain calm.

“Let’s not be hysterical about it,” Christie added.

…because getting into the White House demands more from a wily politician than simply knowing a little science or using common sense. When your campaign advisers are telling you that you’re not likely to get another issue this juicy, one that so predictably gets voters to shat their Dockers, it’s time for you to change your mind. When the political hacks have become even more hysterical than the public has, this is what you get. That is when you’re candidate for U.S. President 2016, Chris Christie.

She said she was then taken to an isolation tent for three hours and is now under a 21-day quarantine period in New Jersey, even though she lives in Maine…

“I realized that information was only shared with me if I asked. Eight police cars escorted me to the University Hospital in Newark. Sirens blared, lights flashed. Again, I wondered what I had done wrong”…

She wrote: “Doctors took my temperature and other vitals and looked puzzled, ‘your temperature is 98.6’ they said, ‘you don’t have a fever.”

Because she’s fine. But Christie doesn’t give a damn.

“My heart goes out to her because she’s someone who has been trying to help others and is obviously ill.”

“I’m sorry if in any way she was inconvenienced but inconvenience that could occur from having folks that are symptomatic and ill out amongst the public is a much, much greater concern of mine,” he told the newspaper. “I hope she recovers quickly, and we’re going to do everything we can in New Jersey and in our public health system to make sure that she does.”

He’s locking people into isolation and lying outrageously about their health because he’s simply got to be president. He’s the worst kind of politician. Chris is the sort of guy who’d bowl your mother over to get to a camera and then tell everybody she deserved it. Bullies are all the same, even in New Jersey. Prisoner Kaci Hickox:

“Everyone keeps asking how I’m feeling physically and of course I’m fine physically, but I don’t think most people understand what it’s like to be alone in a tent and decisions are being made that don’t make sense and show no compassion,” Hickox said, starting to cry.

“I just feel like fear is winning right now, and when fear wins, everyone loses.”

She’s not allowed to have her luggage and was given paper scrubs to wear. Hickox said she has no shower, no flushable toilet and the hospital gave her no television or any reading material. Mostly, she says, she stares at the walls.

For America’s heroes, it’s but a small price to pay for Chris Christie’s dreams.


What do black people do all day?

As we saw with Roger Simon’s effort to foil the rage of Ferguson’s citizens (you fools, the Great Society killed Michael Brown! [...or: Soylent racism, it's liberals!]), conservative ‘intellectuals’ will say almost anything to avoid discussions about race. For them, racism exists only in a historical context. Like rural illiteracy, the r-word had once – sigh, yes it’s true – been a big problem in our country. But then, because we’re American, we rooted for the Green Bay Packers, built an atomic bomb, and saw how Sammy Davis Jr. learned to live with his asshole wop buddies [harp glissando], so no problem. You heard me knucklehead, shush.

Which makes it somewhat confusing, at least for me – pray for me, won’t you? – when the same ‘intellectuals’ can’t help but tug on the sturdy threads that tie the tragedy of Ferguson, Missouri, to THUG LIFE.

Preening celebrities showed their solidarity with Ferguson, Mo., at the MTV Video Music Awards show this week. Rapper Common led the convocation, preachifying about the positive impact of hip-hop music on society as a “powerful instrument of social change” and “truth.”

Cameras showed drug-addled gangsta rapper Snoop Dogg bowing his head and flashing a peace sign during a “moment of silence” for Ferguson. MTV President Stephen Friedman aired public service announcements plying social justice messages. “It’s a call to action to our audience that we have to confront our own bias head-on before we can truly create change,” Friedman pontificated.

You’ve been listening to “Bloodstained Hypocrisy of Hollywood’s Violence Profiteers,” with Michelle Malkin. She picks her jaw off the floor, then she furies: You’re upset about white people shooting black men?

Spare me the shizzle and hypocri-dizzle.

You can’t get enough of black people doing the same thing! Amirite?

The night before the VMAs, a gunman barged into the 1Oak nightclub in West Hollywood and shot rap mogul Suge Knight six times. He survived…

The Bloods-affiliated Knight’s reign of criminal terror has been well documented by law enforcement and rap aficionados. A climax: the still-unsolved shooting deaths of rappers Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls, which multiple insiders believe the record executive ordered.

Who is it that loves Negro violence? Who is it that encourages it? Liberals. And only a black person is nasty enough – and skeevy enough, frankly – to prosecute both sides of a murderous feud. Good luck sandblasting the smug look off of Michelle’s face.

Speaking of Ferguson-nasty, Ann Althouse is way too smart not to have seen the Hitler similarities. Or hadn’t you noticed? Michael Brown was a thug. Michael Brown was an ethnic. Michael Brown was shot…six times. I mean, is this freaky news or what?

Ann Althouse cares

The odds of the two greatest heroes of progressivism being assassinated days apart are like, what? 3 to 1? And shot six times? Eerie. It reminds me of that old poster on John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln.

From Wikipedia: “Marion Hugh ‘Suge”‘ Knight, Jr…. is the founder and CEO of Black Kapital Records and co-founder and former CEO of Death Row Records.

And ahem, Ann dropped in that link that for the tragically un-hip. For the country cousins in the crowd. Because when she asked “Who shot Suge Knight?” it was only a question that had really been bugging her. For days on end, mystery had been gnawing at her soul [...and, mystery. *mmph?* please get that out of your mouth.]. Ann wanted to know, because she cared dammit. She wasn’t just casting hip-hop aspersions on someone who’d been shot in the head and was no longer around to defend himself from the yahoos of her world.

althouse douches

Bonus. What about that other liberal icon? Florida, the gangsta kid? ‘Member him?

althouse douche 4


Will exhibits a deft touch with the victims of rape

George Will wants to talk about rape. The word ‘snide’ comes to mind.

Colleges and universities are being educated by Washington and are finding the experience excruciating. They are learning that when they say campus victimizations are ubiquitous (“micro-aggressions,” often not discernible to the untutored eye, are everywhere), and that when they make victimhood a coveted status that confers privileges, victims proliferate.

The privileges of going to a hospital, then later to trial? What an introductory paragraph. All of his arguments have to follow from here. But there’s no indication that rape is a horrific crime that needs to be taken seriously. There are only Will’s epic mockery and disparagement of victims.

And academia’s progressivism has rendered it intellectually defenseless now that progressivism’s achievement, the regulatory state, has decided it is academia’s turn to be broken to government’s saddle.

Catch that bit? Government is raping academia. Sometimes bad things happen to you, but then there are crimes. This is THE INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH. ‘Two can play at this game’ George is telling everybody. Still think rape is serious, man?

Consider the supposed campus epidemic of rape, a.k.a. “sexual assault.”

Sexual assault is barely a thing in his world. It’s something somebody probably made up. So to be fair, to him, we need to set it aside as “sexual assault.” As if.

Now the Obama administration is riding to the rescue of “sexual assault” victims. It vows to excavate equities from the ambiguities of the hookup culture, this cocktail of hormones, alcohol and the faux sophistication of today’s prolonged adolescence of especially privileged young adults.

And look at his view of university students: confused, overwrought, oversexed, privileged, immature, and stupid. George can’t believe a woman exhibiting any of these traits could be assaulted. She’s too beneath his dignity to earn any sympathy.

Since he oozed his way over to Fox News Will has been less and less concerned with acting civilized and it really shows. This screed is no different from anything your drunken uncle would yell at Jerry Springer. George is just the oak panel version of white trash.


Professor Gropey McRape with Charlie Gibson to the rescue

Well done Ms. Sullivan.

Kloman would likely still be teaching today but for the fact that one of his victims, Anne Sullivan, saw him in 2011 at the Washington Episcopal School in Bethesda, Maryland, where he was a substitute teacher at the time. “Imagine my surprise, walking down the hallway of my son’s school a couple years ago, and seeing Mr. Kloman, the seventh grade teacher who assaulted me in a swimming pool 40 years earlier,” she said in a press conference after Kloman’s sentencing in a Fairfax County Court. “Kloman still had access to kids? My son’s classmates could be his victims? Enough.”

Can you imagine? 40 years later. And that’s when Christopher Kloman’s tenure as an elite prep school child molester ended. How he managed to stay out of prison all these years is a damning mystery, but these nightmares were once protected as cultural conspiracies. Back then the victims were akin to a societal bargain, like the furniture in a rented apartment. The crimes just happened and everybody kept their mouths shut. At one point the Potomac School administrators were made aware of his pedophilia, so they sent Kloman to counseling. For that yawn of accountability the beloved academy will be parting with millions of dollars, courtesy Gloria Allred.

Beauregard made an agreement with Kloman that she would clean his apartment in exchange for skiing and driving lessons. Everything was “normal” the first time, but she says that when he asked her to come back one day to clean again, he answered the door in a short, blue terrycloth bathrobe and led her to front of the house. “He spun me around so fast, sat down in a chair and pulled me on top of his naked lap. When she asked what he was doing, she says he calmly replied, “Don’t worry, I do this all the time with your best friend.” He asked her to go upstairs. “And believe it or not, I did. From that moment, I just completely shut down emotionally.”

Over the next five months, Beauregard says Kloman raped her eight times. “He always used protection, though I had no idea what it was at the time. My only sexual experience up until then was kissing a classmate.”

So Christopher Kloman was sentenced to 43 years in prison. And this is notable on my little blog because Judge Jan L. Brodie threw McRapey deep in the hole despite the pleadings of some of the country’s Most Trusted Men. The prep school daddies of Virginia took a sizable liking to their child-assaulting pal and they weren’t about to let him go to prison without a fight.

Kenneth Starr, for example. He was the Republican special prosecutor who for years pursued the scandal-phantom of Whitewater until he finally learned that the President was having some oral sex. That shocked Kennie badly enough that he had no choice but to feed the country into a meat grinder. Which is just what you’d expect a good person to do.

Ken and Alice Starr:

…My husband Ken always found him to be a gentleman and sincerely interested in our children’s education and well-being during parent-teacher conferences each year. We would occasionally see Mr. and Mrs. Kloman on social occasions, and again, there was no evidence whatsoever of inappropriate behavior.

In short, all of us in the Starr family have admired Mr. and Mrs. Kloman for many years. We do not know of any occasion when he was abusive to women or children. Thus it is possible that once Mr. Kloman had children of his own in the 1970s and once he was promoted to head the intermediate division, he made a concerted effort to correct his behavior of the past.

We used to pile in the station wagon and go to Red Lobster, and I never saw him rape any children. Okay?

Mr. Kloman is currently repenting for his past sins and will continue to do so if given a chance to serve his community and neighbors. Community service would be a far better punishment than having him languish in jail.


Missus Witch Trial.

If that doesn’t giggle your belly, or ache your head, try this one.

By way of introduction, my name is Charlie Gibson.

He’s not just the former ABC nightly news anchor, he’s Charlie by way of introduction. And he apparently has enough time in retirement to grace the judge with a combination of phrase and cliche so sincere it’d make your sex-predator buddies weep.

I tried throughout the 12 hours or so after I read the Washington Post account to reconcile the Chris Kloman I read about and the Chris Kloman I know.

Pause. Paragraph.

And I could not.

Ka-ching, carriage return.

And I was left with an ineffable sadness. I grapple with the thought that good men can do bad things, that, as Thoreau wrote, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Poor anchorman, having to google Thoreau. Maybe now Charlie feels quiet and desperate too. Staring out the window, perhaps he’s nipping at a tumbler of fine scotch and just allowing the pain to come. Or maybe like his friend he’s trapping a fourteen year-old in his apartment, putting on a rubber, and raping her.

In my experience as a reporter and in my personal life, this is not the first instance I have observed of such a phenomenon, but to me this is the most difficult to try and understand.

In part because I’m not reading it on a teleprompter. I got this Kloman guy into the Shriners, incidentally.

For I have known Chris as a wonderful husband, great Dad, and, yes, a truly fine teacher.

Oh, a truly fine teacher. In all this rush to hear the stories of students, now grown, and to recognize them as horrors, and feed them into the gears of the justice system, Charlie’d like to remind everybody how hard all of this has been on him.

It is a case almost Dostoyevskian (if I can coin a word) in that Chris must have carried this guilt with him for years and I can’t imagine how the knowledge that it would some day come out, as it inevitably would, must have eaten at his soul.

And how hard it’s been on Chris Kloman, reluctant children-raper. Admit it, judge: You felt bad for Raskolnikov. And if Anne Sullivan hadn’t walked into her kid’s school that day, would we even be here? If not for an unlucky break just imagine how much worse Chris would feel. Now like a good little talking head, who if nothing else knows his audience, Charlie brings it home:

I have tried since learning of Chris’s actions to put myself in your shoes. You have the most difficult of jobs. For I don’t know how one can determine what is fair or right after all these years – fair and right for the young women who were involved;

The women who were involved. Not the children who were used, groped, and humped. It really wasn’t much of an office romance, was it?

. . fair and right for Chris. I do know that I believe in redemption. When I was hosting Good Morning America we frequently broadcast . .

Yes, he underlined it. I bet Chuck would be less prone to flog his résumé if he’d hosted Good Morning Joey Buttafuoco.

…we frequently broadcast stories and I was amazed that some people who were victimized had reserves of forgiveness far greater than mine. Any punishment for Chris now strikes me as punitive not rehabilitative, but at the same time I realize there is a need for accountability.

Any punishment would be punitive, you’re right. But sometimes that’s the business of justice. But any punishment? One day in prison, a little fifty dollar fine? It’s all too grotesque a fate to contemplate for our victim, the rapist Kloman. Yes you may have heard about the unspeakable things he’s done, and you might think you have a right to judge him, but there’s something more important here: We knew him. We who trafficked in the same Fairfax social circles! Know ye this so justice may prevail.

You can be grateful that Judge Brodie wasn’t buying any of the bullshit the Virginia Brahmin And Butthurt were peddling and that Kloman will ‘languish in jail,’ exactly as Alice Starr feared. If we were any luckier, we’d have the whining and privileged keep him a week’s company for being such assholes.