Browsing the archives for the *holes category.
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What do black people do all day?

*holes, race

As we saw with Roger Simon’s effort to foil the rage of Ferguson’s citizens (you fools, the Great Society killed Michael Brown! [...or: Soylent racism, it's liberals!]), conservative ‘intellectuals’ will say almost anything to avoid discussions about race. For them, racism exists only in a historical context. Like rural illiteracy, the r-word had once – sigh, yes it’s true – been a big problem in our country. But then, because we’re American, we rooted for the Green Bay Packers, built an atomic bomb, and saw how Sammy Davis Jr. learned to live with his asshole wop buddies [harp glissando], so no problem. You heard me knucklehead, shush.

Which makes it somewhat confusing, at least for me – pray for me, won’t you? – when the same ‘intellectuals’ can’t help but tug on the sturdy threads that tie the tragedy of Ferguson, Missouri, to THUG LIFE.

Preening celebrities showed their solidarity with Ferguson, Mo., at the MTV Video Music Awards show this week. Rapper Common led the convocation, preachifying about the positive impact of hip-hop music on society as a “powerful instrument of social change” and “truth.”

Cameras showed drug-addled gangsta rapper Snoop Dogg bowing his head and flashing a peace sign during a “moment of silence” for Ferguson. MTV President Stephen Friedman aired public service announcements plying social justice messages. “It’s a call to action to our audience that we have to confront our own bias head-on before we can truly create change,” Friedman pontificated.

You’ve been listening to “Bloodstained Hypocrisy of Hollywood’s Violence Profiteers,” with Michelle Malkin. She picks her jaw off the floor, then she furies: You’re upset about white people shooting black men?

Spare me the shizzle and hypocri-dizzle.

You can’t get enough of black people doing the same thing! Amirite?

The night before the VMAs, a gunman barged into the 1Oak nightclub in West Hollywood and shot rap mogul Suge Knight six times. He survived…

The Bloods-affiliated Knight’s reign of criminal terror has been well documented by law enforcement and rap aficionados. A climax: the still-unsolved shooting deaths of rappers Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls, which multiple insiders believe the record executive ordered.

Who is it that loves Negro violence? Who is it that encourages it? Liberals. And only a black person is nasty enough – and skeevy enough, frankly – to prosecute both sides of a murderous feud. Good luck sandblasting the smug look off of Michelle’s face.

Speaking of Ferguson-nasty, Ann Althouse is way too smart not to have seen the Hitler similarities. Or hadn’t you noticed? Michael Brown was a thug. Michael Brown was an ethnic. Michael Brown was shot…six times. I mean, is this freaky news or what?

Ann Althouse cares

The odds of the two greatest heroes of progressivism being assassinated days apart are like, what? 3 to 1? And shot six times? Eerie. It reminds me of that old poster on John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln.

From Wikipedia: “Marion Hugh ‘Suge”‘ Knight, Jr…. is the founder and CEO of Black Kapital Records and co-founder and former CEO of Death Row Records.

And ahem, Ann dropped in that link that for the tragically un-hip. For the country cousins in the crowd. Because when she asked “Who shot Suge Knight?” it was only a question that had really been bugging her. For days on end, mystery had been gnawing at her soul [...and, mystery. *mmph?* please get that out of your mouth.]. Ann wanted to know, because she cared dammit. She wasn’t just casting hip-hop aspersions on someone who’d been shot in the head and was no longer around to defend himself from the yahoos of her world.

althouse douches

Bonus. What about that other liberal icon? Florida, the gangsta kid? ‘Member him?

althouse douche 4

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Will exhibits a deft touch with the victims of rape

*holes

George Will wants to talk about rape. The word ‘snide’ comes to mind.

Colleges and universities are being educated by Washington and are finding the experience excruciating. They are learning that when they say campus victimizations are ubiquitous (“micro-aggressions,” often not discernible to the untutored eye, are everywhere), and that when they make victimhood a coveted status that confers privileges, victims proliferate.

The privileges of going to a hospital, then later to trial? What an introductory paragraph. All of his arguments have to follow from here. But there’s no indication that rape is a horrific crime that needs to be taken seriously. There are only Will’s epic mockery and disparagement of victims.

And academia’s progressivism has rendered it intellectually defenseless now that progressivism’s achievement, the regulatory state, has decided it is academia’s turn to be broken to government’s saddle.

Catch that bit? Government be raping academia. Sometimes bad things happen, to you, but then there are crimes. THE INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH.’Two can play at this game’ George is telling you. Still think rape is serious, dude?

Consider the supposed campus epidemic of rape, a.k.a. “sexual assault.”

Sexual assault is barely a thing in his world. It’s something somebody probably made up. So to be fair, to him, we need to set it aside as “sexual assault.” As if.

Now the Obama administration is riding to the rescue of “sexual assault” victims. It vows to excavate equities from the ambiguities of the hookup culture, this cocktail of hormones, alcohol and the faux sophistication of today’s prolonged adolescence of especially privileged young adults.

And look at his view of university students: confused, overwrought, oversexed, privileged, immature, and stupid. George can’t believe a woman exhibiting any of these traits could be assaulted. She’s too beneath his dignity to earn any sympathy.

Since he oozed his way over to Fox News Will has been less and less concerned with acting civilized and it really shows. This screed is no different from anything your drunken uncle would yell at Jerry Springer. George is just the oak panel version of white trash.

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Professor Gropey McRape with Charlie Gibson to the rescue

*holes, yecch

Well done Ms. Sullivan.

Kloman would likely still be teaching today but for the fact that one of his victims, Anne Sullivan, saw him in 2011 at the Washington Episcopal School in Bethesda, Maryland, where he was a substitute teacher at the time. “Imagine my surprise, walking down the hallway of my son’s school a couple years ago, and seeing Mr. Kloman, the seventh grade teacher who assaulted me in a swimming pool 40 years earlier,” she said in a press conference after Kloman’s sentencing in a Fairfax County Court. “Kloman still had access to kids? My son’s classmates could be his victims? Enough.”

Can you imagine? 40 years later. And that’s when Christopher Kloman’s tenure as an elite prep school child molester ended. How he managed to stay out of prison all these years is a damning mystery, but these nightmares were once protected as cultural conspiracies. Back then the victims were akin to a societal bargain, like the furniture in a rented apartment. The crimes just happened and everybody kept their mouths shut. At one point the Potomac School administrators were made aware of his pedophilia, so they sent Kloman to counseling. For that yawn of accountability the beloved academy will be parting with millions of dollars, courtesy Gloria Allred.

Beauregard made an agreement with Kloman that she would clean his apartment in exchange for skiing and driving lessons. Everything was “normal” the first time, but she says that when he asked her to come back one day to clean again, he answered the door in a short, blue terrycloth bathrobe and led her to front of the house. “He spun me around so fast, sat down in a chair and pulled me on top of his naked lap. When she asked what he was doing, she says he calmly replied, “Don’t worry, I do this all the time with your best friend.” He asked her to go upstairs. “And believe it or not, I did. From that moment, I just completely shut down emotionally.”

Over the next five months, Beauregard says Kloman raped her eight times. “He always used protection, though I had no idea what it was at the time. My only sexual experience up until then was kissing a classmate.”

So Christopher Kloman was sentenced to 43 years in prison. And this is notable on my little blog because Judge Jan L. Brodie threw McRapey deep in the hole despite the pleadings of some of the country’s Most Trusted Men. The prep school daddies of Virginia took a sizable liking to their child-intercoursing pal and they weren’t about to let him go to prison without a fight. Kenneth Starr, for example. He was the Republican special prosecutor who for years pursued the scandal-phantom of Whitewater until he learned that the President was having oral sex. That was a shocking enough discovery for Ken that he had to feed the country into a constitutional meat grinder.

Ken and Alice Starr:

. . My husband Ken always found him to be a gentleman and sincerely interested in our children’s education and well-being during parent-teacher conferences each year. We would occasionally see Mr. and Mrs. Kloman on social occasions, and again, there was no evidence whatsoever of inappropriate behavior.

In short, all of us in the Starr family have admired Mr. and Mrs. Kloman for many years. We do not know of any occasion when he was abusive to women or children. Thus it is possible that once Mr. Kloman had children of his own in the 1970s and once he was promoted to head the intermediate division, he made a concerted effort to correct his behavior of the past.

We used to all pile in the station wagon and go to Red Lobster. And I never saw him rape any of the women or children there, so, okay?

Mr. Kloman is currently repenting for his past sins and will continue to do so if given a chance to serve his community and neighbors. Community service would be a far better punishment than having him languish in jail.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Fellatio Witch Trial.

If that doesn’t giggle your belly, or ache your head, try this one.

By way of introduction, my name is Charlie Gibson.

He’s not just the former ABC nightly news anchor, he’s Charlie Gibson by-way-of-introduction. And he apparently has enough time in retirement to grace the judge with a combination of phrase and cliche so sincere it’d make your sex-fiend buddy weep.

I tried throughout the 12 hours or so after I read the Washington Post account to reconcile the Chris Kloman I read about and the Chris Kloman I know.

Pause. Paragraph.

And I could not.

Carriage return.

And I was left with an ineffable sadness. I grapple with the thought that good men can do bad things, that, as Thoreau wrote, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Poor anchorman, having to google Thoreau. Maybe now even Charlie feels quiet and desperate. Staring out the window, perhaps he’s nipping at a tumbler of fine scotch and just allowing the pain to come. Or maybe, like his friend, he’s trapping a fourteen year-old in his apartment, then putting on a condom and raping her.

In my experience as a reporter and in my personal life, this is not the first instance I have observed of such a phenomenon, but to me this is the most difficult to try and understand.

Because I’m not reading it on a teleprompter. I got the guy into the Shriners, incidentally.

For I have known Chris as a wonderful husband, great Dad, and, yes, a truly fine teacher.

Oh, a truly fine teacher. In all this rush to hear the stories of students, now grown, and to recognize them as horrors, and ram them right down the gullets of the justice system, Charlie’d like to remind everybody how hard all of this has been on someone else.

It is a case almost Dostoyevskian (if I can coin a word) in that Chris must have carried this guilt with him for years and I can’t imagine how the knowledge that it would some day come out, as it inevitably would, must have eaten at his soul.

Admit it, judge: You still feel bad for Raskolnikov. And if Anne Sullivan hadn’t walked into her kid’s school that day, would we even be here? But then just imagine how much worse Chris would feel, with his tatty soul, so teh sadz in every direction. Now like a good little talking head, who if nothing else knows his audience, Charlie works to bring it home:

I have tried since learning of Chris’s actions to put myself in your shoes. You have the most difficult of jobs. For I don’t know how one can determine what is fair or right after all these years – fair and right for the young women who were involved;

The women who were involved. Or the eighth-graders who were groped, dry-humped, and raped. It wasn’t really much of an office romance, was it?

. . fair and right for Chris. I do know that I believe in redemption. When I was hosting Good Morning America we frequently broadcast . .

Yes, he underlined it. I bet Chuck would be less prone to flog his résumé if he’d hosted, say, Good Morning Joey Buttafuoco.

. . we frequently broadcast stories and I was amazed that some people who were victimized had reserves of forgiveness far greater than mine. Any punishment for Chris now strikes me as punitive not rehabilitative, but at the same time I realize there is a need for accountability.

Any punishment would be punitive, good point. But any punishment? One day in prison, a little fifty dollar fine? It’s all too grotesque a fate to contemplate for our sidekick, Chris. Yes you may have heard about the unspeakable things he’s done, and you might think you have a right to judge him, but there’s something more important here: We knew him. We trafficked in the same Fairfax social circles! Know ye this so justice may prevail. You can be grateful that Judge Brodie wasn’t buying any of the bullshit the Virginia Brahmin And Butthurt were peddling and that Kloman will ‘languish in jail,’ exactly as Alice Starr bemoaned. If we were any luckier, we’d have Charlie Gibson keep him a week’s company for being an asshole.

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Proving forever that white people are stupid

*holes

White people think they know everything. It’s annoying.

The politically correct forces of liberalism have found a new target, the Washington Redskins. Never mind that the team nickname has an 80 year history, all knowing white liberals believe that the term Redskins is somehow offensive to Native Americans.

So says Townhall’s Jeff Crouere. Somehow offensive? Here’s the Oxford dictionary:

redskin

noun
dated offensive

an American Indian.

Definitively offensive. Does that count? But look who wrote the dictionary – Brits. And they’re pretty white, except for the coolie hacks and the lazy islanders, so we’re back to where we started.

Fortunately, the Redskins team’s owner, Daniel Snyder, is not backing down. He pledges to keep a name that he considers a “badge of honor.”

Snyder with his big Injun Knowledge. So you better pay attention.

It is the last stand of the Redskins; will they suffer the same fate as George Custer in the Battle of Little Bighorn?

There goes the greatest sentence in language history.

Hopefully, in this case, as in the famous battle, the Native Americans will prevail and the proud name will live on, not as a symbol of hate, but as a “badge of honor.”

The Native Americans? So you’re not actually one of them. You are . .



. . the whitest little chipmunk in the forest. No shit. But you happen to know The Indians Are Really Very Grateful because why? Because you are white and conservative. Okay, Running Joke.

How about Kevin Gover, a Pawnee? “This word is mean, rude, impolite and we would like you to stop using it.”

Suzan Shown Harjo, a Cheyenne: “Because the r-word is the most derogatory thing Native Peoples can be called in the English language.”

Vernon Bellecourt, an Ojibwe: “AIM sees the Washington Redskins, the Atlanta Braves, basketball teams, Kansas City Chiefs and Cleveland Indians baseball teams with their grinning buck-toothed mascot Chief Wahoo as demeaning the beautiful culture of the indigenous nations of the Americas. We are a living people with a vibrant culture and we refuse to have our identity trivialized and degraded. Indians are people, not mascots for America’s fun and games.”

I mean, my god. How dumb could a person possibly be?

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Life is good. Thanks for asking.

*holes

I’m glad that Edward Snowden reminded us about the NSA. I’ll be grateful for these warnings the rest of my life. Technology has made it so easy to spy upon us that governments can’t help themselves. I should keep that in mind as I go about my fascinating life, creating endless cyberfiles of telephony and e-message metadata because I refuse to cook for myself and can’t stand to wait in line. There are maybe 50 people that read this blog. But there are probably 51 tera-giga-booleybytes of marghadata stuck in the trap of government’s basement bathroom sink because this place exists, because the sun goes down and that bitch called ‘sleep’ never fully arrives. She plays footsie with my computer the minute I get out pen and paper to get my thoughts straight, but she won’t come within a desert mile of me. Even though I’m flesh and blood. Back in the day, that counted for something.

Right, thank you, Ed. Thank you, Glenn. Yes, the Peeping Fed is even more annoying now than it’s ever been. I better remember that. And now would be a perfect time to thank you, 9/11. The many ways, even now, you shit on my life enchant and delight me. Forget the seventh inning stretch, a decent Dodger game could use a cherub-cheeked six year old to totter to the mound and skree God Bless America every time someone strikes out. Could I have more warplanes, please? Thank you. Everybody on your feet now, the niece of a Deloitte & Touche accountant waited her whole life for this moment. Amazing how polite we’ve become just because George W. Bush was a crapwitted turd. Tell you what – you want to become the world’s only superpower? Here’s how you manage that. First you elect a rawhide mallet for president, then you wait in line four hours to get on your flight. Your Southwest flight. To Glendale.

Snowden has enough information to cause harm to the U.S. government in a single minute than any other person has ever had,” Greenwald said in an interview in Rio de Janeiro with the Argentinean daily La Nacion.

Oh yes Edward is a God. Be kind to us Oh Lord.

“The U.S. government should be on its knees every day begging that nothing happen to Snowden, because if something does happen to him, all the information will be revealed and it could be its worst nightmare.”

Dear almighty Glenn, don’t throw my country inna’ tha’ briar patch. Anything but that.

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Blow his campaign to smithereens

*holes

The Sacramento Bee’s Jack Ohman.

Poor Governor R. Boom:

While I will always welcome healthy policy debate, I won’t stand for someone mocking the tragic deaths of my fellow Texans and our fellow Americans.

The cartoonist:

I’m defending this one because I think that when you have a politician traveling across the country selling a state with low regulatory capacity, that politician also has to be accountable for what happens when that lack of regulation proves to be fatal.

That’s exponentially more offensive to me.

The incineration of those poor West Texas folks should relegate Perry to the depths of political revulsion. A governor with a shred of courage should have by now admitted that it was criminal to put a fertilizer plant next to houses. And, too, that the person who responded to the state’s safety concerns with a chuckle knowing a half million pounds of ammonium nitrate sat nearby deserves a prison cell.

Instead, the coward will stand tall on the victims’ graves and wave to gullible crowds while he runs for President in 2016. Sic semper horizon.

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Suspects in the Boston Marathon bombings

*holes

The FBI has leads on two suspects. Suspect one:

Suspect two:

“Suspect two set down a backpack at the site of the second explosion just in front of the Forum restaurant.”

Plenty of people know these two. WHITE guys, incidentally. So it’s up to you, whoever you are. 1-800-CALL-FBI.

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When the Texan thought of the Baroness

*holes, see you so long fare thee well

Representative Steve Stockman of Texas gets himself plenty riled up over the passing of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher:

“While many mourn, Baroness Thatcher reminded us ‘I fight on I fight to win,’” Stockman said in statement. “The best way to honor Baroness Thatcher is to crush liberalism and sweep it into the dustbin of history.”

Annhilation. Extinction. Aaarghh. Curiously, in the middle of all this death, and ruin to come, the Republican shows a remarkable dainty side.

. . Baroness Thatcher inherited a country that was demoralized, economically broken and bankrupted by expansive government. Unlike Obama, Baroness Thatcher restored prosperity and optimism. Where Obama has failed, Baroness Thatcher succeeded. While Obama forges chains of dependency and government bloat, Baroness Thatcher took a sledgehammer to the machinery of liberalism. Baroness Thatcher’s record . .

Hoo the Baroness, and the Baroness, and the Baroness. I had no idea the same guys who enjoyed whittling the pig fat from their teeth could hold such respect for peerage. Had it been the Queen who died, they’d have had to wheel in a crane to pick Stockman from the floor. This too is a howler:

In a statement following the announcement of Thatcher’s death President Obama called the Iron Lady “one of the great champions of freedom and liberty, and America has lost a true friend.”

A champion of liberty? In a swine’s eye. How about these doings, for freedom’s sake? Thatcher called the African National Congress “a typical terrorist organisation.” Their leader, Nelson Mandela, later negotiated the end of Apartheid, freeing millions from government oppression. He then became South Africa’s first democratically elected president.

Meanwhile she called herself “President Botha’s candid friend.” P.W. Botha was the last great champion of official state-sponsored racism. He suffered a stroke while trying futilely to preserve it, then resigned his presidency. Botha later refused to testify at the Truth and Reconciliation hearings because, among other atrocities, he’d have to confess to being a domestic terrorist. He authorized the bombing of the South African Council of Churches headquarters.

And:

The Thatcher government supported the Khmer Rouge keeping their seat in the UN after they were ousted from power in Cambodia by the Cambodian–Vietnamese War. Although denying it at the time they also sent the SAS to train the Khmer Rouge alliance to fight against the Vietnamese-backed People’s Republic of Kampuchea government.

This would be after, not before, the Khmer Rouge slaughtered two million Cambodians in a genocide. Given a situation where it wasn’t necessary to choose between evils, Thatcher chose to support the modern-day Nazis.

Maggie never cared for freedom. She favored authority. And rather than use that power to liberate the oppressed, she employed it to decimate her political enemies, like the union coal miners. Which is exactly why Rep. Stockman is such a big fan, with his ‘destroy all liberals’ schtick. Good luck with that.

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Papa Bear with the creepy creepy

*holes

On Wednesday, the 8th annual Iowa Governors Conference on LGBTQ Youth will be held outside of Des Moines.

All students deserve a safe and supportive place in which to learn including those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning (LGBTQ). For many LGBTQ youth, school can be a terrifying place due to bullying, harassment, and discrimination. In order to eliminate bullying in Iowa schools and create leadership opportunities for LGBTQ youth, Iowa Safe Schools founded the Annual Iowa Governors Conference on LGBTQ Youth.

The yearly effort to protect vulnerable students obviously begged for a biblical smiting or running-through or something. So the FAMiLY LEADER, the folks who once counseled us that black children were better off 200 years ago as chattel slaves, assembled a group of its nattily dressed supporters and took to a press conference. There the group’s Vice President affected the mien of an overwrought adult, and a heartsick parent, and generally creeped the hell out of everybody with an obscene dose of Tyrannosaurus paternalism:

“My name is Chuck Hurley, and I’m the Vice President of The FAMiLY LEADER. But much more importantly, I’m the father of eight biological children, two adopted children, and several foster children. I’m also a church elder and a teacher. I’ve been an attorney in juvenile court, family court. I’ve been a legislator, and I am a taxpayer. This Papa Bear is here to say, regarding the Governor’s Conference, stop coming after my kids and other people’s kids with evil propaganda.”



. . but, then, with the utterance of the words “evil propaganda,” the galactic irony hammer did fall upon Chuck. And this did smoosh him. Among the ordinary, there was rejoicing.

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2 COMMENTS

Pity the poor witch hunter

*holes

Something like 3 billion of our fellow human beings survive on $2.50 a day. A billion of those can’t read or write. The 10 major conflicts ongoing across the globe will kill over 100,000 people this year. And about 25,000 people, almost all of them children, will die today from starvation. But that’s not so bad, really, considering what some Americans have to go through.

If you are a conservative evangelical who believes in the biblical definition of traditional marriage then guess what? You are one of the following: An outcast, a bigot, narrow-minded, a “hater” or all of the above. It’s a different type of ridicule but it’s still ridicule.

It’s not the type of ridicule that makes you to want to hide in your closet. It’s a ridicule that makes you want file back into your megachurch to re-load, politically. C’mon, you’ve got to come up with better ways to denigrate your fellow Americans as filthy, hell-bound, diseased and disgusting. Gay teens don’t become suicidal all by themselves, folks.

The tables have been turned. Evangelicals are now the ugly stepchild. In our American culture today, you can easily make the argument that it is harder to stand for biblical truth than it is to be a supporter of gay marriage in today’s society.

Persecution is harder than it looks. You try it sometime.

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6 COMMENTS

John Yoo reverse pike position –> still evil

*holes, crime

It happens again. For the purposes of whatever argument, the conservatives turn loose their most robust intellectuals and I’m surprised to see how feeble they are. I expect a series of vigorously-constructed arguments to make their way to me. But no. I’m struck by the strained logic of Fox News. It makes you curious to find out who’s running the intellectual fort. Or if it even exists.

Enter John Yoo. He helped run President Bush’s justice department, now he’s a six-figure salaried professor at Berkeley’s Boalt law school. He should be capable of making a legal argument to tie me in knots. Without any problem, really. But John can do no better than Condie, or Rummy:

I continue to think that invading Iraq was the best option in light of the information we had then — I am finishing a book on war in the 21st century, where I make the case for preemptive and preventive war, and I argue that the proper way to think about these questions is based on the information available before the decision, not after.

Oh, aren’t you cute? The people who made the right call are fantasy leaguers because they weren’t there, man. Oh yeah? Try this then, Mister Reality: Pretending that the ‘information’ you had wasn’t just administration-manufactured bullshit amounts to a criminal coverup. When preparing to commit large-scale killing you don’t get to favor flattery and fabrication over intelligence because of loyalty, or paranoia, or any other fatal flaw of yours. Or you’re just a war criminal. It doesn’t matter why you did it, you committed mass murder and you belong in jail. For the rest of your life, really, John.

In law, we often come upon a situation after an event — a crime, an accident, etc. — and we must decide what to do based on the knowledge we have now. Courts award damages based on the harm to the victim and the harm to society. Suppose you thought that the Iraq war was a mistake. If so, isn’t the proper remedy to restore Saddam Hussein’s family and the Baath Party to power in Iraq? If you are unwilling to consider that remedy, aren’t you conceding that on balance, the benefits of the war outweigh the costs?

Good lord. Permit me to argue. A legal question like this emanates from some desire to make things right — but only between members within our society. What applies to people cannot be applied to countries. Unlike citizens, all governments are not created equal. They frequently show little interest in defending civil rights or in living in harmony with their neighbors. And no justice system can effectively discipline them, imprison them, or execute them.

Most are frankly crude constructs. But until we can all agree on what passes for justice, they’re all we’ve got. So when we destroyed Iraq, though we were wrong to do it, their government became our responsibility. Given that, I don’t think it does the locals any good to re-instate their tormentor. You couldn’t figure this out, John?

We owe Iraqis a lot more than that. A couple trillion in damages to start, and senior Bush administration officials stowed deep in the belly of a prison ship destined for Umm Qasr. Let us know how you get along, John.

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Jonah Goldberg: Food is for winners

*holes, I doubt that

Everybody’s pal Jonah Goldberg sets his sights on a target only he would dream of: The Untouchables. While the other bleaters, weasels and misanthropes couldn’t be more grateful for the WWII generation and their shocking, frankly insane courage (Storm a pill box wearing a little canvas clothing and a cardboard chapeau? Sure!), Jonah figures it’s time they got the fifth degree.

Greatest Generation the Most Entitled
Jonah Goldberg | Townhall.com

Perhaps it’s time for both sides to consider an underappreciated fact of American life: The system we are trying to perpetuate was created for the explicit benefit of the so-called greatest generation, the most coddled and cared for cohort in American history.

I love Goldberg-ian history, such as it isn’t. The Great Depression played some part in the advent of Social Security, I recall. Back then Grampa and Gramma Peoria were frequently thrown out into the cold to shiver, starve and die — which they did. The appalling reality of old folks begging for their lives on Main Street USA made the creation of our minimal safety net possible. But if Jonah thinks it was meant to keep G.I. Joe in crushed velvet and shrimp cocktail for the rest of his life, we can play along.

I don’t mean to belittle or demean the heroic efforts and sacrifices of those who served in World War II. But the idea that a whole generation deserves credit for what only some did is little more than an attempt to buy glory on the cheap.

Jonah really believes this is how the government works. Or at least how it should. What did you do in the war Gramps? Shot seven Japs. Fine, you get 500 bucks and all the aspirin you can eat. How about you old-timer? I bombed Nagasaki. Winner chicken dinner, you get a platinum Jeep. None a-you old ladies slit anybody’s throats so you can beat it. ‘Thank you’ is too good for the likes of you.

One of the egalitarian precepts that all Americans are supposed to subscribe to is the idea that one citizen isn’t more worthy than another, simply by accident of birth. If you stormed the beaches of Normandy, you are due praise and honor. If you were simply born the same year as those who stormed the beaches, you’re no more deserving of praise than someone born of any other generation.

I still don’t understand how the Old Cowards forward Jonah’s argument. Should we give their benefits to somebody else? To somebody else who killed somebody else? Didn’t they pay for Social Security out of their paychecks? Why am I wasting time on this?

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