Category: *holes

Pity the poor witch hunter

Something like 3 billion of our fellow human beings survive on $2.50 a day. A billion of those can’t read or write. The 10 major conflicts ongoing across the globe will kill over 100,000 people this year. And about 25,000 people, almost all of them children, will die today from starvation. But that’s not so bad, really, considering what some Americans have to go through.

If you are a conservative evangelical who believes in the biblical definition of traditional marriage then guess what? You are one of the following: An outcast, a bigot, narrow-minded, a “hater” or all of the above. It’s a different type of ridicule but it’s still ridicule.

It’s not the type of ridicule that makes you to want to hide in your closet. It’s a ridicule that makes you want file back into your megachurch to re-load, politically. C’mon, you’ve got to come up with better ways to denigrate your fellow Americans as filthy, hell-bound, diseased and disgusting. Gay teens don’t become suicidal all by themselves, folks.

The tables have been turned. Evangelicals are now the ugly stepchild. In our American culture today, you can easily make the argument that it is harder to stand for biblical truth than it is to be a supporter of gay marriage in today’s society.

Persecution is harder than it looks. You try it sometime.


John Yoo reverse pike position –> still evil

It happens again. For the purposes of whatever argument, the conservatives turn loose their most robust intellectuals and I’m surprised to see how feeble they are. I expect a series of vigorously-constructed arguments to make their way to me. But no. I’m struck by the strained logic of Fox News. It makes you curious to find out who’s running the intellectual fort. Or if it even exists.

Enter John Yoo. He helped run President Bush’s justice department, now he’s a six-figure salaried professor at Berkeley’s Boalt law school. He should be capable of making a legal argument to tie me in knots. Without any problem, really. But John can do no better than Condie, or Rummy:

I continue to think that invading Iraq was the best option in light of the information we had then — I am finishing a book on war in the 21st century, where I make the case for preemptive and preventive war, and I argue that the proper way to think about these questions is based on the information available before the decision, not after.

Oh, aren’t you cute? The people who made the right call are fantasy leaguers because they weren’t there, man. Oh yeah? Try this then, Mister Reality: Pretending that the ‘information’ you had wasn’t just administration-manufactured bullshit amounts to a criminal coverup. When preparing to commit large-scale killing you don’t get to favor flattery and fabrication over intelligence because of loyalty, or paranoia, or any other fatal flaw of yours. Or you’re just a war criminal. It doesn’t matter why you did it, you committed mass murder and you belong in jail. For the rest of your life, really, John.

In law, we often come upon a situation after an event — a crime, an accident, etc. — and we must decide what to do based on the knowledge we have now. Courts award damages based on the harm to the victim and the harm to society. Suppose you thought that the Iraq war was a mistake. If so, isn’t the proper remedy to restore Saddam Hussein’s family and the Baath Party to power in Iraq? If you are unwilling to consider that remedy, aren’t you conceding that on balance, the benefits of the war outweigh the costs?

Good lord. Permit me to argue. A legal question like this emanates from some desire to make things right — but only between members within our society. What applies to people cannot be applied to countries. Unlike citizens, all governments are not created equal. They frequently show little interest in defending civil rights or in living in harmony with their neighbors. And no justice system can effectively discipline them, imprison them, or execute them.

Most are frankly crude constructs. But until we can all agree on what passes for justice, they’re all we’ve got. So when we destroyed Iraq, though we were wrong to do it, their government became our responsibility. Given that, I don’t think it does the locals any good to re-instate their tormentor. You couldn’t figure this out, John?

We owe Iraqis a lot more than that. A couple trillion in damages to start, and senior Bush administration officials stowed deep in the belly of a prison ship destined for Umm Qasr. Let us know how you get along, John.


Jonah Goldberg: Food is for winners

Everybody’s pal Jonah Goldberg sets his sights on a target only he would dream of: The Untouchables. While the other bleaters, weasels and misanthropes couldn’t be more grateful for the WWII generation and their shocking, frankly insane courage (Storm a pill box wearing a little canvas clothing and a cardboard chapeau? Sure!), Jonah figures it’s time they got the fifth degree.

Greatest Generation the Most Entitled
Jonah Goldberg |

Perhaps it’s time for both sides to consider an underappreciated fact of American life: The system we are trying to perpetuate was created for the explicit benefit of the so-called greatest generation, the most coddled and cared for cohort in American history.

I love Goldberg-ian history, such as it isn’t. The Great Depression played some part in the advent of Social Security, I recall. Back then Grampa and Gramma Peoria were frequently thrown out into the cold to shiver, starve and die — which they did. The appalling reality of old folks begging for their lives on Main Street USA made the creation of our minimal safety net possible. But if Jonah thinks it was meant to keep G.I. Joe in crushed velvet and shrimp cocktail for the rest of his life, we can play along.

I don’t mean to belittle or demean the heroic efforts and sacrifices of those who served in World War II. But the idea that a whole generation deserves credit for what only some did is little more than an attempt to buy glory on the cheap.

Jonah really believes this is how the government works. Or at least how it should. What did you do in the war Gramps? Shot seven Japs. Fine, you get 500 bucks and all the aspirin you can eat. How about you old-timer? I bombed Nagasaki. Winner chicken dinner, you get a platinum Jeep. None a-you old ladies slit anybody’s throats so you can beat it. ‘Thank you’ is too good for the likes of you.

One of the egalitarian precepts that all Americans are supposed to subscribe to is the idea that one citizen isn’t more worthy than another, simply by accident of birth. If you stormed the beaches of Normandy, you are due praise and honor. If you were simply born the same year as those who stormed the beaches, you’re no more deserving of praise than someone born of any other generation.

I still don’t understand how the Old Cowards forward Jonah’s argument. Should we give their benefits to somebody else? To somebody else who killed somebody else? Didn’t they pay for Social Security out of their paychecks? Why am I wasting time on this?


The fad to bruise vaginas

The Hoosier state escalates its War on Women. And given what the governors of Virginia and Texas have done to their sluts, it’s no mystery. It’s hip to rape a citizen with an ultrasound instrument, so let the fun begin.

The Indiana state Senate on Wednesday advanced a bill that would require women to undergo an ultrasound procedure both before and after having a medication-induced abortion during the first trimester of pregnancy.

Heavens of course after the chemical abortion. That’s when the government’s compelling interest looms most large. What if a woman took the pills but didn’t menstruate the tiny embryo? What if the vagina was still secretly pregnant? Eight months later it would poop a baby! THE GOVERNMENT WOULD NEVER FORGIVE ITSELF.

It would require women to be presented with the sound and image of the fetal heartbeat before the abortion and to return for a follow-up ultrasound to ensure that she is no longer pregnant and has stopped bleeding.

Call it the ‘Decatur Dipstick’ bill. You have to turn the machine on. Whirr. You have to shove the wand in, then you have to pull it out. And then you have to look at it. HAVE YOU STOPPED BLEEDING? This is why women need a strong state government, vomit.


John McCain

I give up. I walk out. I offer all the apologies but I retire with a bit of my self-respect. It’s not like blogging was a decent thing to do anyway. I mean, c’mon, any idiot can bang out this bullshit. It’s not like I applied for the job and some buxom highbrow lady said, “Oh yes, we’re so glad to have you.” Thank you very much, I feel right at home now. A danish? Why, capital.

It is no longer possible to describe the disgrace that is Senator John McCain. Can not be done. Horrible. Detestable. Shocking. Insulting. Offensive. Blighting. Senseless. Farcical. Preening. Scheming. Calculating. Histrionic. Lying. Shameless. Abusive. Cruel. Nasty. Vicious. Corrosive. Destructive. Dangerous. Dumb. Naive. Self-indulgent. Ghastly. Frightening. Menacing. Scary. Careening. Erratic. Unhinged. Slack-jawed. Stupid. Animal. Incompetent. Disastrous. Awful. Worthless. Brutal. Meatheaded. Mechanical. Stiff. Stony. Scolding. Hectoring. Backbiting. Appalling. Atrocious. Despicable. Despised. Dolt. Jerk. Moron. Idiot. Insect.



Politics of the shaming

When you’re right, you’re right. When you know something no one else knows, you’re the smart one. But when people can’t affirm you’re the measure of their world, you’ve got to do something.

“Who took the references to Al Qaeda out of the talking points given to Susan Rice? We still don’t know…. I want to know what our president did. What did he do as commander in chief? Did he ever pick up the phone and call anybody? I think this is the stuff the country needs to know.”

Lindsay Graham will block SecDef nominee Chuck Hagel.

Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) on Sunday threatened to filibuster former Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.)’s nomination for Defense secretary, if necessary to prevent his confirmation.

“I want a 60-vote margin and you don’t have to filibuster to get that,” said Inhofe in an interview on Fox News. “I would threaten to cause a 60-vote margin. If it took a filibuster, I’d do it that way.”

Jim Inhofe will filibuster. I think. The Dumbest Man in the Senate can be cryptic.

This is what happens when assholes don’t get satisfaction. For them, to be satisfied means only one thing: Shame. So they’ll mangle the Hagel nomination until somebody’s finally broken and crying in front of the TV cameras. Concurrently, the Daily Caller featured this bit of news:

Kids these days can’t even answer dumbed-down teen ‘Jeopardy’ questions
Daily Caller | Taylor Bigler

. . During Final Jeopardy, all three of the teen contestants wagered all of their money and each gave the same answer to a question about what capital city has a walled off sections for Catholics and Protestants.

They all answered Dublin when the correct answer is of course Belfast,* were all awarded zero points and may God have mercy on their souls.


*We did not know the answer to the question, either. But there is a reason we are not contestants on “Jeopardy” — teen version or otherwise.

No laughing and no pointing. You’re the problem.


WaPo: Racists don’t like Michelle Obama

The civilized Washington Post wades into the controversy now five years in the making. Just who does this black lady think she is, with her ass?

The latest public rant against Michelle Obama’s effort to promote low-calorie school lunches was recently caught on tape in Alabama — the usual protest against the federal government meddling in local business. And then it quickly found its way around to the first lady’s posterior.

“Fat butt Michelle Obama,” said Bob Grisham, a high school football coach who was surreptitiously recorded by one of his students. “Look at her. She looks like she weighs 185 or 190. She’s overweight.”

I guess this is what the antique media are good for. Dragging polite non-computer-owning society into a current “controversy.”

Grisham, who was suspended Monday, is neither the first nor the most high-profile person to feel moved to comment on the first lady’s physique. Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh has repeatedly called her Michelle “My Butt” Obama. And Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner, the Wisconsin Republican, issued an apology after he was caught commenting on her “large posterior.” (Grisham has also said he misspoke.)

So racism is back. That’s too bad. Doing what it does all over again. And all the First Lady wants is fat fuck country to give up their dreams of living like sweaty offensive linemen before dying in their forties. What a bitch.

Update: Althouse delves in with serious questions here. Who would talk about the First Lady’s ass? Very pathetic. Eventually Ann could really use a second post to flesh out her full criticism of the WaPo for featuring something so beneath Ann Althouse. Did you know that it was also called Michelle’s ‘posterior’ or ‘derriere’? It’s weird, hurry hie post number three.


Shouting Thomas said…

Get rid of Black History Month and I’ll quit making fun of Michelle’s fat ass.

I’ve been fed up for some time with the force fed veneration of blacks.

Ditto for the veneration of gays.

Let the bastards learn to take a joke.


I heart Bill Donohue

I see Catholic League president Bill Donohue as a dinosaur. He’s the fist-swinging boyo taking it to the uppity WASPs who don’t want the Irish around their establishments. There’s heroism in being a nasty asshole, Donohue-wise.

Nowadays, we Micks can eat and sleep anywhere we like. The tony halls of the Supreme Court are as familiar to Catholics as they are to the preppies. No one is more boring and establishment than a dick like Bill O’Reilly. Somebody might wanna let Donohue know that the only bigot left in the room is himself.

. . this week in Tennessee a dog was rescued from being euthanized (one news outlet said he was being spared “the Gas Chamber”) because the condition driving the dog’s death was his alleged homosexuality (the owner was ticked when he saw his Fido hunch another male dog).

We now know what Bill’s been doing with his Saturday nights. Having a ‘hunch’ with the Missus.

Not, however, in Elton’s [the dog's] case: the shelter has no stomach for putting dogs down on the basis of sexual orientation. It must be said, though, that the shelter is not exactly inclusive in its policies. To wit: Had poor Elton not been identified as a homosexual, his heterosexuality would not have been enough to save his hide.

His heterosexuality would not have put him there in the first place.

The moral of the story is: Being gay is not only a bonus for humans these days, it is a definite plus for dogs as well. As for straights, the lonely and the disabled, that’s another story altogether.

We gas the shut-ins and the handicapped? I don’t think so. Why Catholics don’t demand Bill shut his black hole, I don’t know. You wonder if they’re not afraid of him.


John McCain hits rock bottom

Surveying a political life highlighted primarily by self-serving cowardice, I have never seen anything quite so disgusting as John McCain’s latest performance. He had the surely personally gratifying duty of vetting yesterday the President’s nominee for Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel.

The most contentious part of his questioning came when he decided to attack Hagel’s opposition to the Surge in Iraq. Briefly, the Surge was a 2007 introduction of around 20,000 additional troops into mostly Baghdad, some into Al-Anbar province, to try to improve the situation in Iraq.

Politically speaking, the Surge is all John McCain’s baby. While other Republicans then were busy talking fecklessly about the brutal and failing war, it was McCain who decided to publicly double down on a dangerous strategy: sending more soldiers. It may not have actually done much, but the timing worked nicely to McCain’s favor as violence began to drop in Iraq in late 2007. McCain used the Surge politically to rally American patriotism and separate himself from the other Republican presidential hopefuls. It’s the one great success in his political life. That’s how he beat out Mitt Romney for the right to lose to the Democrat, Barack Obama, in 2008. Remember that, then watch this bullshit:

How vomit-inducing. McCain has Hagel over a political barrel and everybody knows it. If Hagel disagrees, the petulant McCain will run to the media replaying the trope that the Surge reversed the course in Iraq and won us the glorious war. Republicans will seize the opportunity to rally around McCain and his brilliant strategy, and Hagel’s nomination will be D.O.A.

So John McCain here is only trying to make Chuck Hagel blow him in public. Sorry about the depiction, but that’s the honest truth. He’s shoving Hagel’s head at his crotch to see how badly Chuck wants the nomination. It’s disgusting.


Pack of Althouses baying at Gabrielle Giffords

Gabrielle Giffords appeared today before Senators at a hearing on gun violence and asked them to “Be bold. Be courageous. Americans are counting on you.” The topic, the person, the slurring — these approached being too much for Ann Althouse and her backwater blog people to stand.

“Speaking is difficult, but I need to say something important.”
Posted by Ann Althouse at 11:13 AM

. . Gabrielle Giffords speaks very slowly and very briefly to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

ADDED: Is she a witness or an exhibit?

[POLL] What is dehumanizing? . .

Timely question. When the notes Giffords used for her surprise address were released to the public, that was further provocation. But when it became known the notes weren’t even written by the brain-damaged and partially paralyzed former congresswoman, that’s when all blog-hell finally broke loose. Ann started a second thread and jumped in on the comments:

Ann Althouse said…

A photograph of the notes was used as propaganda.

Also, we don’t know that those were her words. Is she a puppet or isn’t she? We don’t know, and for a while the idea of her laboriously writing out that simple message was used to tug heartstrings.

That matters.

It shouldn’t have been done.

Revenant said…

. . Her contribution to the national “debate” consisted of this:

“Violence is a big problem. Too many children are dying. Too many children. We must do something. It will be hard, but the time is now. You must act.”

I’m sorry, but the person who wrote that drivel is not in full possession of her wits. Shame on her husband for dragging her in front of the cameras like that.

From Inwood said…

. . The people who slobber & say that we must listen to her in this case would not take her order in a store or resturant or buy property from her without getting a confirmation from her guardian, caretaker, whatever. Unless they were in on the manipulation, that is.

Shame on them.

Coketown said…

Has anyone thought to start a talent agency specializing in retarded people and victims with sob stories? You could set up shop across from DNC headquarters and make mmmmillions!! You know, gunshot victims, girls who can’t manage getting a photo ID to vote, anchor babies whose parents were deported. Reason has played far too big a role in pushing legislation. Lets go for the heart strings.

Mark said…

A crazy person put a bullet in her head. There’s a slew of Democrats in line to put their hand up her ass to make her lips move.

Cedarford said…

. . It is good that this liberal and progressive jewish formulated media construct of victims, moral authority, special wisdom from victimhood and emotional blackmail against any that criticize the Puppetteers manipulating the Cindy Sheehans and Gabbys – arrived fairly recently.

Mark said…

Hey, if we wanted to know if Gabby was there, just disabled in her ability to express herself, there’s always the Christopher Pike solution. Give her a buzzer, one buzz for yes, two for no, and start by asking her questions like “was your mother’s maiden name Sullivan?” or “Is the current President’s name Bush?” After ten or so questions we’d know if the person sitting there was capable of real-time coherence.

Right is right! said…

Gifford is a dumb stupid bitch. Fuck her and her weenie husband.

Achilles said…

So none of the leftists are disgusted by people taking advantage of a victim to take away rights from law abiding citizens? This is really a have you no shame moment. Why can’t you win based on the strength of your arguments rather than resorting to sock puppetry?

And who just created a false flag poster named Right is right? To comment on this story in that fashion? Irony!

via Thers


Mitch McConnell caught with Amgen’s *ahem* in his mouth

The federal government, as you know, is nothing more than a Republican whipping boy. Deficits are a particularly sweet piece of ass for conservatives to lash. The ‘fiscal cliff’ would have significantly cut government debt, but what good does that do? Bob Schieffer on a Sunday morning without his fiscal banshees? I don’t think so.

What I’m saying is that Republicans don’t give a damn about government spending. They didn’t before, and they don’t now.

WASHINGTON — Just two weeks after pleading guilty in a major federal fraud case, Amgen, the world’s largest biotechnology firm, scored a largely unnoticed coup on Capitol Hill: Lawmakers inserted a paragraph into the “fiscal cliff” bill that did not mention the company by name but strongly favored one of its drugs…

The provision gives Amgen an additional two years to sell Sensipar without government controls. The news was so welcome that the company’s chief executive quickly relayed it to investment analysts. But it is projected to cost Medicare up to $500 million over that period.

Half a billion for nothing. Who pulled this scam?

The story told us of a pharmaceutical giant called Amgen and three senators so close to it they might as well be entries on its balance sheet: Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (KY), Democratic Senator Max Baucus (MT), chair of the Senate Finance Committee, and that powerful committee’s ranking Republican, Orrin Hatch (UT). A trio of perpetrators who treat the United States Treasury as if it were a cash-and-carry annex of corporate America . .

All three have received hefty campaign donations from the company whose bottom line mysteriously just got padded at taxpayer expense. Since 2007, Amgen employees and its political action committee have contributed nearly $68,000 to Senator Baucus, $73,000 to Senator McConnell’s campaigns, and $59,000 to Senator Hatch.

Hard to find any Republicans more conservative than McConnell or Hatch. There are no Democrats more conservative than Baucus.


Masters of War and Civility

Some people are so fucking civilized they have to prove it to you.

A kid sitting next to me in the café in Charlotte beat his plate with a fork and yelled at the top of his lungs for about half an hour. It sure was annoying until I realized it was a good chance to remind him that he wasn’t as special as his mother had told him. Sure, his mother was sitting right next to him. But she was too drunk to raise an objection. And who could blame her for drinking after giving birth to a monster like that?

A guy nearly knocked me down in a mad rush to get his bag off the conveyer belt. I told him to be careful because he might knock the safety off of my concealed 45 Auto. He didn’t get the joke, largely because he didn’t speak English. That gave me an excellent opportunity to remind him that he wasn’t mucho especial.

See how Mike did that? Telling the Mexican off in his own Español? Class.

Speaking of John Fucking Bolton . .

“You know, every foreign service officer in every foreign ministry in the world knows the phrase I am about to use, when you don’t want to go to a meeting or conference or an event, you have a ‘diplomatic illness,’” he said on Fox News. “And this is a ‘diplomatic illness’ to beat the band.”

And now Secretary Clinton is in the hospital. Pretty goddamned civilized.

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