Category: *holes

Suspects in the Boston Marathon bombings

The FBI has leads on two suspects. Suspect one:

Suspect two:

“Suspect two set down a backpack at the site of the second explosion just in front of the Forum restaurant.”

Plenty of people know these two. WHITE guys, incidentally. So it’s up to you, whoever you are. 1-800-CALL-FBI.


When the Texan thought of the Baroness

Representative Steve Stockman of Texas gets himself plenty riled up over the passing of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher:

“While many mourn, Baroness Thatcher reminded us ‘I fight on I fight to win,’” Stockman said in statement. “The best way to honor Baroness Thatcher is to crush liberalism and sweep it into the dustbin of history.”

Annhilation. Extinction. Aaarghh. Curiously, in the middle of all this death, and ruin to come, the Republican shows a remarkable dainty side.

. . Baroness Thatcher inherited a country that was demoralized, economically broken and bankrupted by expansive government. Unlike Obama, Baroness Thatcher restored prosperity and optimism. Where Obama has failed, Baroness Thatcher succeeded. While Obama forges chains of dependency and government bloat, Baroness Thatcher took a sledgehammer to the machinery of liberalism. Baroness Thatcher’s record . .

Hoo the Baroness, and the Baroness, and the Baroness. I had no idea the same guys who enjoyed whittling the pig fat from their teeth could hold such respect for peerage. Had it been the Queen who died, they’d have had to wheel in a crane to pick Stockman from the floor. This too is a howler:

In a statement following the announcement of Thatcher’s death President Obama called the Iron Lady “one of the great champions of freedom and liberty, and America has lost a true friend.”

A champion of liberty? In a swine’s eye. How about these doings, for freedom’s sake? Thatcher called the African National Congress “a typical terrorist organisation.” Their leader, Nelson Mandela, later negotiated the end of Apartheid, freeing millions from government oppression. He then became South Africa’s first democratically elected president.

Meanwhile she called herself “President Botha’s candid friend.” P.W. Botha was the last great champion of official state-sponsored racism. He suffered a stroke while trying futilely to preserve it, then resigned his presidency. Botha later refused to testify at the Truth and Reconciliation hearings because, among other atrocities, he’d have to confess to being a domestic terrorist. He authorized the bombing of the South African Council of Churches headquarters.


The Thatcher government supported the Khmer Rouge keeping their seat in the UN after they were ousted from power in Cambodia by the Cambodian–Vietnamese War. Although denying it at the time they also sent the SAS to train the Khmer Rouge alliance to fight against the Vietnamese-backed People’s Republic of Kampuchea government.

This would be after, not before, the Khmer Rouge slaughtered two million Cambodians in a genocide. Given a situation where it wasn’t necessary to choose between evils, Thatcher chose to support the modern-day Nazis.

Maggie never cared for freedom. She favored authority. And rather than use that power to liberate the oppressed, she employed it to decimate her political enemies, like the union coal miners. Which is exactly why Rep. Stockman is such a big fan, with his ‘destroy all liberals’ schtick. Good luck with that.


Papa Bear with the creepy creepy

On Wednesday, the 8th annual Iowa Governors Conference on LGBTQ Youth will be held outside of Des Moines.

All students deserve a safe and supportive place in which to learn including those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning (LGBTQ). For many LGBTQ youth, school can be a terrifying place due to bullying, harassment, and discrimination. In order to eliminate bullying in Iowa schools and create leadership opportunities for LGBTQ youth, Iowa Safe Schools founded the Annual Iowa Governors Conference on LGBTQ Youth.

The yearly effort to protect vulnerable students obviously begged for a biblical smiting or running-through or something. So the FAMiLY LEADER, the folks who once counseled us that black children were better off 200 years ago as chattel slaves, assembled a group of its nattily dressed supporters and took to a press conference. There the group’s Vice President affected the mien of an overwrought adult, and a heartsick parent, and generally creeped the hell out of everybody with an obscene dose of Tyrannosaurus paternalism:

“My name is Chuck Hurley, and I’m the Vice President of The FAMiLY LEADER. But much more importantly, I’m the father of eight biological children, two adopted children, and several foster children. I’m also a church elder and a teacher. I’ve been an attorney in juvenile court, family court. I’ve been a legislator, and I am a taxpayer. This Papa Bear is here to say, regarding the Governor’s Conference, stop coming after my kids and other people’s kids with evil propaganda.”

. . but, then, with the utterance of the words “evil propaganda,” the galactic irony hammer did fall upon Chuck. And this did smoosh him. Among the ordinary, there was rejoicing.


Pity the poor witch hunter

Something like 3 billion of our fellow human beings survive on $2.50 a day. A billion of those can’t read or write. The 10 major conflicts ongoing across the globe will kill over 100,000 people this year. And about 25,000 people, almost all of them children, will die today from starvation. But that’s not so bad, really, considering what some Americans have to go through.

If you are a conservative evangelical who believes in the biblical definition of traditional marriage then guess what? You are one of the following: An outcast, a bigot, narrow-minded, a “hater” or all of the above. It’s a different type of ridicule but it’s still ridicule.

It’s not the type of ridicule that makes you to want to hide in your closet. It’s a ridicule that makes you want file back into your megachurch to re-load, politically. C’mon, you’ve got to come up with better ways to denigrate your fellow Americans as filthy, hell-bound, diseased and disgusting. Gay teens don’t become suicidal all by themselves, folks.

The tables have been turned. Evangelicals are now the ugly stepchild. In our American culture today, you can easily make the argument that it is harder to stand for biblical truth than it is to be a supporter of gay marriage in today’s society.

Persecution is harder than it looks. You try it sometime.


John Yoo reverse pike position –> still evil

It happens again. For the purposes of whatever argument, the conservatives turn loose their most robust intellectuals and I’m surprised to see how feeble they are. I expect a series of vigorously-constructed arguments to make their way to me. But no. I’m struck by the strained logic of Fox News. It makes you curious to find out who’s running the intellectual fort. Or if it even exists.

Enter John Yoo. He helped run President Bush’s justice department, now he’s a six-figure salaried professor at Berkeley’s Boalt law school. He should be capable of making a legal argument to tie me in knots. Without any problem, really. But John can do no better than Condie, or Rummy:

I continue to think that invading Iraq was the best option in light of the information we had then — I am finishing a book on war in the 21st century, where I make the case for preemptive and preventive war, and I argue that the proper way to think about these questions is based on the information available before the decision, not after.

Oh, aren’t you cute? The people who made the right call are fantasy leaguers because they weren’t there, man. Oh yeah? Try this then, Mister Reality: Pretending that the ‘information’ you had wasn’t just administration-manufactured bullshit amounts to a criminal coverup. When preparing to commit large-scale killing you don’t get to favor flattery and fabrication over intelligence because of loyalty, or paranoia, or any other fatal flaw of yours. Or you’re just a war criminal. It doesn’t matter why you did it, you committed mass murder and you belong in jail. For the rest of your life, really, John.

In law, we often come upon a situation after an event — a crime, an accident, etc. — and we must decide what to do based on the knowledge we have now. Courts award damages based on the harm to the victim and the harm to society. Suppose you thought that the Iraq war was a mistake. If so, isn’t the proper remedy to restore Saddam Hussein’s family and the Baath Party to power in Iraq? If you are unwilling to consider that remedy, aren’t you conceding that on balance, the benefits of the war outweigh the costs?

Good lord. Permit me to argue. A legal question like this emanates from some desire to make things right — but only between members within our society. What applies to people cannot be applied to countries. Unlike citizens, all governments are not created equal. They frequently show little interest in defending civil rights or in living in harmony with their neighbors. And no justice system can effectively discipline them, imprison them, or execute them.

Most are frankly crude constructs. But until we can all agree on what passes for justice, they’re all we’ve got. So when we destroyed Iraq, though we were wrong to do it, their government became our responsibility. Given that, I don’t think it does the locals any good to re-instate their tormentor. You couldn’t figure this out, John?

We owe Iraqis a lot more than that. A couple trillion in damages to start, and senior Bush administration officials stowed deep in the belly of a prison ship destined for Umm Qasr. Let us know how you get along, John.


Jonah Goldberg: Food is for winners

Everybody’s pal Jonah Goldberg sets his sights on a target only he would dream of: The Untouchables. While the other bleaters, weasels and misanthropes couldn’t be more grateful for the WWII generation and their shocking, frankly insane courage (Storm a pill box wearing a little canvas clothing and a cardboard chapeau? Sure!), Jonah figures it’s time they got the fifth degree.

Greatest Generation the Most Entitled
Jonah Goldberg |

Perhaps it’s time for both sides to consider an underappreciated fact of American life: The system we are trying to perpetuate was created for the explicit benefit of the so-called greatest generation, the most coddled and cared for cohort in American history.

I love Goldberg-ian history, such as it isn’t. The Great Depression played some part in the advent of Social Security, I recall. Back then Grampa and Gramma Peoria were frequently thrown out into the cold to shiver, starve and die — which they did. The appalling reality of old folks begging for their lives on Main Street USA made the creation of our minimal safety net possible. But if Jonah thinks it was meant to keep G.I. Joe in crushed velvet and shrimp cocktail for the rest of his life, we can play along.

I don’t mean to belittle or demean the heroic efforts and sacrifices of those who served in World War II. But the idea that a whole generation deserves credit for what only some did is little more than an attempt to buy glory on the cheap.

Jonah really believes this is how the government works. Or at least how it should. What did you do in the war Gramps? Shot seven Japs. Fine, you get 500 bucks and all the aspirin you can eat. How about you old-timer? I bombed Nagasaki. Winner chicken dinner, you get a platinum Jeep. None a-you old ladies slit anybody’s throats so you can beat it. ‘Thank you’ is too good for the likes of you.

One of the egalitarian precepts that all Americans are supposed to subscribe to is the idea that one citizen isn’t more worthy than another, simply by accident of birth. If you stormed the beaches of Normandy, you are due praise and honor. If you were simply born the same year as those who stormed the beaches, you’re no more deserving of praise than someone born of any other generation.

I still don’t understand how the Old Cowards forward Jonah’s argument. Should we give their benefits to somebody else? To somebody else who killed somebody else? Didn’t they pay for Social Security out of their paychecks? Why am I wasting time on this?


The fad to bruise vaginas

The Hoosier state escalates its War on Women. And given what the governors of Virginia and Texas have done to their sluts, it’s no mystery. It’s hip to rape a citizen with an ultrasound instrument, so let the fun begin.

The Indiana state Senate on Wednesday advanced a bill that would require women to undergo an ultrasound procedure both before and after having a medication-induced abortion during the first trimester of pregnancy.

Heavens of course after the chemical abortion. That’s when the government’s compelling interest looms most large. What if a woman took the pills but didn’t menstruate the tiny embryo? What if the vagina was still secretly pregnant? Eight months later it would poop a baby! THE GOVERNMENT WOULD NEVER FORGIVE ITSELF.

It would require women to be presented with the sound and image of the fetal heartbeat before the abortion and to return for a follow-up ultrasound to ensure that she is no longer pregnant and has stopped bleeding.

Call it the ‘Decatur Dipstick’ bill. You have to turn the machine on. Whirr. You have to shove the wand in, then you have to pull it out. And then you have to look at it. HAVE YOU STOPPED BLEEDING? This is why women need a strong state government, vomit.


John McCain

I give up. I walk out. I offer all the apologies but I retire with a bit of my self-respect. It’s not like blogging was a decent thing to do anyway. I mean, c’mon, any idiot can bang out this bullshit. It’s not like I applied for the job and some buxom highbrow lady said, “Oh yes, we’re so glad to have you.” Thank you very much, I feel right at home now. A danish? Why, capital.

It is no longer possible to describe the disgrace that is Senator John McCain. Can not be done. Horrible. Detestable. Shocking. Insulting. Offensive. Blighting. Senseless. Farcical. Preening. Scheming. Calculating. Histrionic. Lying. Shameless. Abusive. Cruel. Nasty. Vicious. Corrosive. Destructive. Dangerous. Dumb. Naive. Self-indulgent. Ghastly. Frightening. Menacing. Scary. Careening. Erratic. Unhinged. Slack-jawed. Stupid. Animal. Incompetent. Disastrous. Awful. Worthless. Brutal. Meatheaded. Mechanical. Stiff. Stony. Scolding. Hectoring. Backbiting. Appalling. Atrocious. Despicable. Despised. Dolt. Jerk. Moron. Idiot. Insect.



Politics of the shaming

When you’re right, you’re right. When you know something no one else knows, you’re the smart one. But when people can’t affirm you’re the measure of their world, you’ve got to do something.

“Who took the references to Al Qaeda out of the talking points given to Susan Rice? We still don’t know…. I want to know what our president did. What did he do as commander in chief? Did he ever pick up the phone and call anybody? I think this is the stuff the country needs to know.”

Lindsay Graham will block SecDef nominee Chuck Hagel.

Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) on Sunday threatened to filibuster former Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.)’s nomination for Defense secretary, if necessary to prevent his confirmation.

“I want a 60-vote margin and you don’t have to filibuster to get that,” said Inhofe in an interview on Fox News. “I would threaten to cause a 60-vote margin. If it took a filibuster, I’d do it that way.”

Jim Inhofe will filibuster. I think. The Dumbest Man in the Senate can be cryptic.

This is what happens when assholes don’t get satisfaction. For them, to be satisfied means only one thing: Shame. So they’ll mangle the Hagel nomination until somebody’s finally broken and crying in front of the TV cameras. Concurrently, the Daily Caller featured this bit of news:

Kids these days can’t even answer dumbed-down teen ‘Jeopardy’ questions
Daily Caller | Taylor Bigler

. . During Final Jeopardy, all three of the teen contestants wagered all of their money and each gave the same answer to a question about what capital city has a walled off sections for Catholics and Protestants.

They all answered Dublin when the correct answer is of course Belfast,* were all awarded zero points and may God have mercy on their souls.


*We did not know the answer to the question, either. But there is a reason we are not contestants on “Jeopardy” — teen version or otherwise.

No laughing and no pointing. You’re the problem.


WaPo: Racists don’t like Michelle Obama

The civilized Washington Post wades into the controversy now five years in the making. Just who does this black lady think she is, with her ass?

The latest public rant against Michelle Obama’s effort to promote low-calorie school lunches was recently caught on tape in Alabama — the usual protest against the federal government meddling in local business. And then it quickly found its way around to the first lady’s posterior.

“Fat butt Michelle Obama,” said Bob Grisham, a high school football coach who was surreptitiously recorded by one of his students. “Look at her. She looks like she weighs 185 or 190. She’s overweight.”

I guess this is what the antique media are good for. Dragging polite non-computer-owning society into a current “controversy.”

Grisham, who was suspended Monday, is neither the first nor the most high-profile person to feel moved to comment on the first lady’s physique. Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh has repeatedly called her Michelle “My Butt” Obama. And Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner, the Wisconsin Republican, issued an apology after he was caught commenting on her “large posterior.” (Grisham has also said he misspoke.)

So racism is back. That’s too bad. Doing what it does all over again. And all the First Lady wants is fat fuck country to give up their dreams of living like sweaty offensive linemen before dying in their forties. What a bitch.

Update: Althouse delves in with serious questions here. Who would talk about the First Lady’s ass? Very pathetic. Eventually Ann could really use a second post to flesh out her full criticism of the WaPo for featuring something so beneath Ann Althouse. Did you know that it was also called Michelle’s ‘posterior’ or ‘derriere’? It’s weird, hurry hie post number three.


Shouting Thomas said…

Get rid of Black History Month and I’ll quit making fun of Michelle’s fat ass.

I’ve been fed up for some time with the force fed veneration of blacks.

Ditto for the veneration of gays.

Let the bastards learn to take a joke.


I heart Bill Donohue

I see Catholic League president Bill Donohue as a dinosaur. He’s the fist-swinging boyo taking it to the uppity WASPs who don’t want the Irish around their establishments. There’s heroism in being a nasty asshole, Donohue-wise.

Nowadays, we Micks can eat and sleep anywhere we like. The tony halls of the Supreme Court are as familiar to Catholics as they are to the preppies. No one is more boring and establishment than a dick like Bill O’Reilly. Somebody might wanna let Donohue know that the only bigot left in the room is himself.

. . this week in Tennessee a dog was rescued from being euthanized (one news outlet said he was being spared “the Gas Chamber”) because the condition driving the dog’s death was his alleged homosexuality (the owner was ticked when he saw his Fido hunch another male dog).

We now know what Bill’s been doing with his Saturday nights. Having a ‘hunch’ with the Missus.

Not, however, in Elton’s [the dog's] case: the shelter has no stomach for putting dogs down on the basis of sexual orientation. It must be said, though, that the shelter is not exactly inclusive in its policies. To wit: Had poor Elton not been identified as a homosexual, his heterosexuality would not have been enough to save his hide.

His heterosexuality would not have put him there in the first place.

The moral of the story is: Being gay is not only a bonus for humans these days, it is a definite plus for dogs as well. As for straights, the lonely and the disabled, that’s another story altogether.

We gas the shut-ins and the handicapped? I don’t think so. Why Catholics don’t demand Bill shut his black hole, I don’t know. You wonder if they’re not afraid of him.


John McCain hits rock bottom

Surveying a political life highlighted primarily by self-serving cowardice, I have never seen anything quite so disgusting as John McCain’s latest performance. He had the surely personally gratifying duty of vetting yesterday the President’s nominee for Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel.

The most contentious part of his questioning came when he decided to attack Hagel’s opposition to the Surge in Iraq. Briefly, the Surge was a 2007 introduction of around 20,000 additional troops into mostly Baghdad, some into Al-Anbar province, to try to improve the situation in Iraq.

Politically speaking, the Surge is all John McCain’s baby. While other Republicans then were busy talking fecklessly about the brutal and failing war, it was McCain who decided to publicly double down on a dangerous strategy: sending more soldiers. It may not have actually done much, but the timing worked nicely to McCain’s favor as violence began to drop in Iraq in late 2007. McCain used the Surge politically to rally American patriotism and separate himself from the other Republican presidential hopefuls. It’s the one great success in his political life. That’s how he beat out Mitt Romney for the right to lose to the Democrat, Barack Obama, in 2008. Remember that, then watch this bullshit:

How vomit-inducing. McCain has Hagel over a political barrel and everybody knows it. If Hagel disagrees, the petulant McCain will run to the media replaying the trope that the Surge reversed the course in Iraq and won us the glorious war. Republicans will seize the opportunity to rally around McCain and his brilliant strategy, and Hagel’s nomination will be D.O.A.

So John McCain here is only trying to make Chuck Hagel blow him in public. Sorry about the depiction, but that’s the honest truth. He’s shoving Hagel’s head at his crotch to see how badly Chuck wants the nomination. It’s disgusting.

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