President Obama publicly supports gay marriage. Hurrah a pretty good day then, I’d have to say. But I’m extremist and shrill, non-traditional dangerous and a threat to the core values that made this country the greatest industrial power in the history of the moral shebang. You, too, AAHHH DON’T PRETEND you’re not. You’d be gay too, if you could.
That’s why we you and me suck. I figured that out by reading some graduate level work from various Bryman scholars of Poltroon Studies [adjunct courses available through the Routine Butt Panic and Testosterone Misanthropy schools]. No, I didn’t read much more than the students’ dissertations and, frankly, nothing past their titles. Because that’s how you analyze scholarship: first, title searches and, then, laughing. Followed by top-notch serious blogging with a limit of 500 words what renders it immune from critical glibbery.
A Terrible, No Good, Awful Night for Barack Obama
by Erick Erickson
Nope this one’s about something else. I think Barack got crowned by a klieg light backstage at Fay Hegemony Studios, or something.
Breaking: Noted gay-marriage supporter finally drops cynical charade
Here we go — Obama said he was against it, then he said he was for it. Obviously he was lying then, and he’s lying about lying now. Wait: I see a body, near moving water. Not far from a remote road, with some bushes, maybe.
Gay for Pay
Obama reversal on same sex marriage comes just days after donors threatened to withhold funds
by the Washington Free Beacon Staff
The President is getting raunchy with men for money. This is a radical theory, one whose meanings are immediately unexplained, so they’re lost to history. Goodbye there they go. The ‘Washington Free Beacon Staff.’
OBAMA FLIP FLOPS, DECLARES WAR ON MARRIAGE
by the Fox Nation
He was leading the War on Virginity. As well as that was going, God knows why he switched sides. Maybe it was a numbers game: a virgin can break a cherry all of once. A family values guy can break his vows whenever there’s a full moon (it’s true. try arguing otherwise.). Also whenever hooker bargain days. Or when he’s got that old methamphetamine binge hankering for some sodomy sweet’ums. Sweet bugger loving sodomy, Jesus help me.
‘On My Behalf’
• By ELLIOTT ABRAMS
I’m lost. Guesses? Can’t believe I have to read this.
The debate over same sex “marriage” has engaged the heartfelt feelings and convictions of millions of Americans. Then there is Barack Obama.
Then there’s the debate over him. And that’s by way of the same: heartfelt feelings and convictions, millions of good honest people blah blah. Unless Elliott meant something else? ‘Obama’s a merciless operative bent on destroying the world’s ABRAMs with gay rights.’ That would by callous and cynical, but Elliott said it first and internet dibs.