President Obama publicly supports gay marriage. Hurrah a pretty good day then, I’d have to say. But I’m extremist and shrill, non-traditional dangerous and a threat to the core values that made this country the greatest industrial power in the history of the moral shebang. You, too, AAHHH DON’T PRETEND you’re not. You’d be gay too, if you could.

That’s why we you and me suck. I figured that out by reading some graduate level work from various Bryman scholars of Poltroon Studies [adjunct courses available through the Routine Butt Panic and Testosterone Misanthropy schools]. No, I didn’t read much more than the students’ dissertations and, frankly, nothing past their titles. Because that’s how you analyze scholarship: first, title searches and, then, laughing. Followed by top-notch serious blogging with a limit of 500 words what renders it immune from critical glibbery.

A Terrible, No Good, Awful Night for Barack Obama
by Erick Erickson

Nope this one’s about something else. I think Barack got crowned by a klieg light backstage at Fay Hegemony Studios, or something.

Breaking: Noted gay-marriage supporter finally drops cynical charade
by Allahpundit

Here we go — Obama said he was against it, then he said he was for it. Obviously he was lying then, and he’s lying about lying now. Wait: I see a body, near moving water. Not far from a remote road, with some bushes, maybe.

Gay for Pay
Obama reversal on same sex marriage comes just days after donors threatened to withhold funds
by the Washington Free Beacon Staff

The President is getting raunchy with men for money. This is a radical theory, one whose meanings are immediately unexplained, so they’re lost to history. Goodbye there they go. The ‘Washington Free Beacon Staff.’

OBAMA FLIP FLOPS, DECLARES WAR ON MARRIAGE
by the Fox Nation

He was leading the War on Virginity. As well as that was going, God knows why he switched sides. Maybe it was a numbers game: a virgin can break a cherry all of once. A family values guy can break his vows whenever there’s a full moon (it’s true. try arguing otherwise.). Also whenever hooker bargain days. Or when he’s got that old methamphetamine binge hankering for some sodomy sweet’ums. Sweet bugger loving sodomy, Jesus help me.

‘On My Behalf’
Really?
• By ELLIOTT ABRAMS

I’m lost. Guesses? Can’t believe I have to read this.

The debate over same sex “marriage” has engaged the heartfelt feelings and convictions of millions of Americans. Then there is Barack Obama.

Then there’s the debate over him. And that’s by way of the same: heartfelt feelings and convictions, millions of good honest people blah blah. Unless Elliott meant something else? ‘Obama’s a merciless operative bent on destroying the world’s ABRAMs with gay rights.’ That would by callous and cynical, but Elliott said it first and internet dibs.

“. . a USA TODAY/Gallup poll of a dozen battleground states finds a yawning gender gap in a faceoff between President Obama and Republican front-runner Mitt Romney. They split male voters about equally, but Obama has a commanding lead among women . .

The biggest change came among women under 50. In mid-February, just under half of those voters supported Obama. Now more than six in 10 do while Romney’s support among them has dropped by 14 points, to 30%. The president leads him 2-1 in this group.”

So Mitt decided to parade his wife Ann before America. After all she’s one of them. This should work. Rep. Hilary Rosen thought it a ridiculous strategy, trotting out one of the Gabor sisters before the achy and debt-ridden voters.

“What you have,” she told Anderson Cooper on Wednesday night, “is Mitt Romney running around the country saying: ‘Well, you know, my wife tells me that what women really care about are economic issues. And when I listen to my wife, that’s what I’m hearing.’

“Guess what?” Rosen observed. “His wife has actually never worked a day in her life.”

Guess what? Hilary is right. Tone deaf, lesbo, politically naive, and right. Pat Buchanan, hideous human, institution of racism, called the ‘gaffe’ a political atom bomb on The McLaughlin Group. What a breath of fresh air for the drowning.

. . Ann Romney had set up a Twitter account and in less than 140 characters put Democrats on the defensive on women’s issues, a topic they have owned for the past few months. “I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys,” she tweeted. “Believe me, it was hard work.”

You go princess.

“It’s insulting that the president’s adviser would dismiss the value of the important and the hard work women do in raising children,” said Sen. Kelly Ayotte, R-N.H.

The president’s adviser. ‘Guru’ was too Muslim for Kelly.

“Clearly they’re using surrogate women, including Hilary Rosen, who is a paid spokesperson, to deliver messages about Republicans that the president does not want to deliver himself for fear of the backlash,” [Rep. Cynthia] Lummis said.

He doesn’t want it to be said, so he’s paying people to say it. They spitballed a Senor Wences thing, but the lesbian assassin won out. Mick Huckabee:

. . “I’ve never seen Democrats swim backwards so much.” He found President Obama’s reaction “the most interesting,” as he described Rosen “as if it was some anonymous person on television, he didn’t know who it was.”

Needless to say, Huckabee found her comments “utterly boneheaded,” arguing that it “showed a level of contempt for women who do one of the hardest jobs there is.”

How mean. Hilary that is, Republicans are always sweethearts. Stay at home moms work like slaves, never have a minute to themselves, struggle to make ends meet, then, after the sun goes down, Capitol dykes beat them with clubs. Insults atop cruelties.

Does no one understand their lives? Yes, no, someone does. And somehow it is Mitt Romney. He has a plan for the harried house mommies of this great nation. He will present them the “dignity of work.” You thought they thought mothers worked way too hard? Wrong.

When you’re poor or unmarried, or when the old man skips town and you need welfare to feed your kids, you are suddenly different. You have become lazy and un-dignified. It’s time for you to get a job:

“I wanted to increase the work requirement,” said Romney. “. . even if you have a child 2 years of age, you need to go to work. And people said, ‘Well that’s heartless.’ And I said, ‘No, no, I’m willing to spend more giving day care to allow those parents to go back to work. It’ll cost the state more providing that daycare, but I want the individuals to have the dignity of work.’”

So: filthy rich moms labor like dray horses. Poor moms better get off their asses.