Everybody’s pal Jonah Goldberg sets his sights on a target only he would dream of: The Untouchables. While the other bleaters, weasels and misanthropes couldn’t be more grateful for the WWII generation and their shocking, frankly insane courage (Storm a pill box wearing a little canvas clothing and a cardboard chapeau? Sure!), Jonah figures it’s time they got the fifth degree.

Greatest Generation the Most Entitled
Jonah Goldberg | Townhall.com

Perhaps it’s time for both sides to consider an underappreciated fact of American life: The system we are trying to perpetuate was created for the explicit benefit of the so-called greatest generation, the most coddled and cared for cohort in American history.

I love Goldberg-ian history, such as it isn’t. The Great Depression played some part in the advent of Social Security, I recall. Back then Grampa and Gramma Peoria were frequently thrown out into the cold to shiver, starve and die — which they did. The appalling reality of old folks begging for their lives on Main Street USA made the creation of our minimal safety net possible. But if Jonah thinks it was meant to keep G.I. Joe in crushed velvet and shrimp cocktail for the rest of his life, we can play along.

I don’t mean to belittle or demean the heroic efforts and sacrifices of those who served in World War II. But the idea that a whole generation deserves credit for what only some did is little more than an attempt to buy glory on the cheap.

Jonah really believes this is how the government works. Or at least how it should. What did you do in the war Gramps? Shot seven Japs. Fine, you get 500 bucks and all the aspirin you can eat. How about you old-timer? I bombed Nagasaki. Winner chicken dinner, you get a platinum Jeep. None a-you old ladies slit anybody’s throats so you can beat it. ‘Thank you’ is too good for the likes of you.

One of the egalitarian precepts that all Americans are supposed to subscribe to is the idea that one citizen isn’t more worthy than another, simply by accident of birth. If you stormed the beaches of Normandy, you are due praise and honor. If you were simply born the same year as those who stormed the beaches, you’re no more deserving of praise than someone born of any other generation.

I still don’t understand how the Old Cowards forward Jonah’s argument. Should we give their benefits to somebody else? To somebody else who killed somebody else? Didn’t they pay for Social Security out of their paychecks? Why am I wasting time on this?

Fox News swore a trillion dollar platinum coin would weigh 18,000 tons. The National Republican Congressional Committee figured just one of them would sink the Titanic. Maybe one did. Has anybody unraveled that fiasco?

So goes this crop of madness. What? A giant coin! Matthew Yglesias rebukes the hysterics when he reminds them that the paper in a hundred dollar bill isn’t worth a hundred dollars. Ann Althouse presses herself into service. Dude you are dumb:

“The biggest and weirdest myth out there about the $1 trillion platinum coin is…”

Matthew Yglesias debunks a myth without establishing that anyone believes it.

Clue to Matt: No one believes it.

Click the links and see for yourself. Coins and greenbacks hold no essential value, yet the pundits went looking for the weight-to-value ratio of platinum on the open market. To Ann, it speaks of intelligence.

This is one of those glaring examples of the attitude of superiority leading to missing humor and subtlety. You may think you’re smart, but it’s not smart to assume other people aren’t smart too. I recommend a working assumption that other people are smart, and when you think you’re reading something ridiculously stupid, go through the exercise of reading it with the thought that the writer is wonderfully clever.

It was satirical the way Fox News pretended coins were worth their stated values. Though it enraged the viewing droolers, the Lenny Bruces were going all-out for subtlety and wit.

No way I’m buying that. Perhaps Ann’s clever friends wouldn’t believe “something ridiculously stupid,” but right-wingers everywhere can’t stop doing it:

Putting A Trillion Dollars Of Platinum In Perspective
ZeroHedge | Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/04/2013

So you want a trillion dollar platinum coin? Ok: here are some facts:

• Platinum has traditionally been the most valuable precious metal for one simple reason: it is rare.
• It is so rare, that all the platinum ever mined could fit into a 25 cubic foot box.
• The weight of that box comes out to just over 16 tons: this is how much platinum has been mined since the start of time.
• A coin valued at $1 trillion and made out of platinum would, at today’s price of $1557/ounce, weigh in at 642.3 million ounces.
• 642.3 million ounces is also roughly 18 thousand tons, or about 1100 times more than all the platinum mined.

Emphases in original. Tyler the rebel at ZeroHedge brings you this rattling exposé because the establishment won’t. Well aware of how his blogging threatens the man, Tyler can no longer tell you his real name.

. . used by the likes of mark twain (aka samuel langhorne clemens) to criticize common ignorance, and perhaps most famously by alexander hamilton, james madison and john jay (aka publius) to write the federalist papers, we think ourselves in good company in using one or another nom de plume.

Routine ignorance, thy hours are numbered. Durden’s coup de grace:

In other words, putting a coin that is worth $1 trillion in perspective to all the platinum ever mined, would look something like this:

Good luck getting all that metal out of the mountain, John Henry, before the debt ceiling. Soon enough someone at Politico starts a thread on the making of the maxzilla coin. Look at that first comment:

sheer idiocy!

Putting A Trillion Dollars Of Platinum In Perspective

So you want a trillion dollar platinum coin? Ok: here are some facts:

–Platinum has traditionally been the most valuable precious metal for one simple reason: it is rare.

–It is so rare, that all the platinum ever mined could fit into a 25 cubic foot box.

–The weight of that box comes out to just over 16 tons: this is how much platinum has been mined since the start of time.

—A coin valued at $1 trillion and made out of platinum would, at today’s price of $1557/ounce, weigh in at 642.3 million ounces.

–642.3 million ounces is also roughly 18 thousand tons, or about 1100 times more than all the platinum mined.

What morons! Who elects these clowns?

And what if China calls in their debt? Who has a pennyloafer that size?

Durden’s pronouncements on the platinum coin hold sway at site after site, with names like ewallstreeter, topnewstoday, bullfax, redliontrader, jmdeherrera, equityhelpdesk, and stocksupdate. Few of them look like Funny Or Die.

Dennis Prager begins the doddering phase of his career. And you are there:

Last month, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors voted by the barest (pun not intended) margin, 6 to 5, to ban public nudity. By “public nudity,” the law means only displaying one’s genitals in public.

*woop* Old Testament alert *woop*. I know it’s coming because it’s all he’s got left. THIS REMINDS ME how Edith’s sack dress gave her the strength to wrestle Hecubah’s sheep. After three falls, the losers were driven from the Mount of Babblemouths. Now they’re a meadow-nibbling sweater cult. Thus endeth the origin of species lesson.

Two of the many areas of conflict between Judeo-Christian values and leftism concern the separation between the holy and the profane and the separation between humans and animals.

The essence of the Hebrew Bible, transmitted by Christianity, is separation: between life and death, nature and God, good and evil, man and woman, and the holy and the profane.

Getting closer. Say, before the stuck-up Jews and the god-bothering Christians clambered across the planet to hector mankind far and wide, do you think humans noticed the differences between life and death? Or men and women? I believe I’m asking if Dennis the Prager is aware of cultures and religions other than his, or of The History of Man. I think not. That would be good reason to shut your oblivious hole when seized with the urge to lecture your perfectly good neighbors.

The reasons to oppose public nudity emanate from this Judeo-Christian list of separations.

When human beings walk around with their genitals uncovered, they are behaving in a manner indistinguishable from that of animals. A major difference between humans and animals is clothing; clothing separates us from — and in the biblical view, elevates us above — the animal kingdom.

Ding! HEY but Mr. Bear wears a full length fur wrapper which covers his ole’ balls pretty well. This makes them harder to find than you might think. Isn’t that man enough for you?

Hey it’s Fox Business, where the elites meet to bleat and fleece. We turn our eyes to free-market whirlwind Gerri Willis so that she may enlighten us about our post-fiscal cliff 2013 income taxes. Or have you scheduled your suicide yet?

Half Your Paycheck To The Government In 2013
Gerri Willis | Fox Business

But let me tell you, come January 1, you’re probably not going to be happy with the amount of taxes you’re paying . .

A middle class taxpayer pays 25% percent of their income in Federal Income Tax. Sounds, ok?

Then there is the Federal Social Security and Medicare payroll tax of 13.3%. You pick up 5.65% while you’re employer pays 7.65%. Add them up and that’s 38.3% of middle class family incomes going to Uncle Sam. But we aren’t done, not by a long shot.

Monkey shit. Gerri is either a fool or a thoroughly dishonest rat. As I have said before, right-wingers are the last people on Earth to know anything at all about taxes. Here’s a graph I made for an income tax post I wrote a couple years ago.

Those are the income cutoffs relative to brackets for the year 2010, roughly, for a person filing singly. Gerri claims a “middle class” worker begins by paying 25% of her income back in taxes. But that’s actually her top tax rate. So it couldn’t possibly be what she pays overall.

The reality is quite different. Let’s say a typical middle income worker makes $45,000 a year. No one pays taxes on roughly the first $10,000 because of the personal exemption and the standard deduction. After that they pay 10% on the next $8,000, and then 15% on the rest, the income between $18,000 and $45,000. Here’s the total: 0% of $10,000, plus 10% of 8,000, plus 15% of $27,000. That comes to $4850. That’s an overall tax rate of 10.8%. That’s all. Less than 11% of their income.

If someone makes more, say $60,000 a year, they pay an additional 25% of the last $15,000. $8600 total. That’s an overall rate of 14.3%. That’s it. Don’t ever believe a conservative when they talk about income taxes. They’re lying. Always lying.

Then there is the Federal Social Security and Medicare payroll tax of 13.3%. You pick up 5.65% while you’re employer pays 7.65%. Add them up and that’s 38.3% of middle class family incomes going to Uncle Sam. But we aren’t done, not by a long shot.

Nice try Gerri. You just said my employer pays 7.65%, so how could that possibly come out of my “middle class family income”? It can’t, it comes out of my boss’ bank account. I pay 4.2% for Social Security and 1.45% for Medicare. That’s now 16.45% of my $45,000. 19.98% of my $60,000. Nothing close to 38.3%. Shameless lying.

According to the Tax Foundation, the average state’s income tax rate on the middle class is 4.82%. Of course, some states have it and some don’t, but we’re taking an average here.

Now the total: 43.12% of middle class income to taxes.

Nope. 21.27%. 24.80% Lying.

Oh, and I almost forgot, unless congress makes a move, Federal Income taxes go to 28% for middle income folks next year as the Bush tax cuts expire.

Neither party has said they want that to happen, but in Washington, well, you never know.

Also the payroll tax for those folks will go to 15.3% from 13.3% percent.

The Bush tax cuts were for people making more than $45,000 a year. So when they revert, that’s a zero dollar increase for most people. For someone making $60,000 a year, they’ll pay a small additional amount, about $450, in 2013. That’s less than 1% of their income. And that gets us to 25.55%. Also the payroll taxes he or she pays will go to 7.65% from 5.65%, not “15.3% from 13.3%.” Mendacious dishonesty of the lying kind.

That means 50 cents out of every dollar earned has to go to the government. Half of everything will go to an entity that didn’t earn that money, and shouldn’t be entitled to all that dough . .

And if the lazy grunts in Afghanistan won’t get off their asses, they’re all fired.

Whoopi Goldberg asked a good question today. No kidding, Whoopi Goldberg. She of The View found herself face to face with jillionairess and GOP candidate-wife Ann Romney on her show. Goldberg posed a question the media have been too scared or too lame to ask.

“When I read about your husband, what I had read — and maybe you can correct this — is that the reason he didn’t serve in Vietnam was because it was against the religion,” Goldberg said.

About time somebody broached this subject. Mitt not only was capable of picking up a rifle and slogging it out over there, he believed so thoroughly in Vietnam that he protested for it. I’d never heard of a university student agitating for an invasion until I heard the life story of Mitt. Ultimately, he was unwilling to fight the Viet Cong. Here was Ann’s reply:

“That’s not correct,” Ann Romney insisted. “He was serving his mission, and my five sons have also served missions. None served in the military, but I do have one son that feels that he’s giving back to his country in a significant way where he is now a doctor and he is taking care of veterans.”

Is she saying that Mormons don’t join the military because the sacrifices they make for the church suffice? I find this curious. These missions are solely for the benefit of the Latter Day Saints. The efforts at religious recruitment abroad don’t benefit America in any way.

The candidate’s wife explained that Mormon missions were like military service in that “you’re going outside of yourself, you’re working and you’re helping others. And it changes you.”

Oh bullshit. I’d be interested to know the rate at which Mormons of service age join the military. In the Romney dynasty, it’s zero percent.

What’s going on, people? Stanford’s got USC bamboozled, but there’s this too:

Glenn Reynolds is calling for the President to resign. Oh no! Where did I park my car? The keys! Is it out front? Do I have time to comb my hair?

WHY BARACK OBAMA SHOULD RESIGN. Just for the record, this is what it looked like for a man who made a film that made the Obama Administration uncomfortable:

How many people are dead because of this meth-dealing sonovabitch bigot? He has become the world’s tragedy. Go ahead and question the punk ass, you’ll hear no protests from me.

When taking office, the President does not swear to create jobs. He does not swear to “grow the economy.” He does not swear to institute “fairness.” The only oath the President takes is this one:

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

By sending — literally — brownshirted enforcers to engage in — literally — a midnight knock at the door of a man for the non-crime of embarrassing the President of the United States and his administration, President Obama violated that oath. You can try to pretty this up (It’s just about possible probation violations! Sure.), or make excuses or draw distinctions, but that’s what’s happened. It is a betrayal of his duties as President, and a disgrace.

Glenn seems to be saying “The President committed a crime no argues no backsies.” Reality is not kindergarten, sport. And those “brownshirts” are — literally — our Los Angeles County Sheriffs. I’m willing to entertain some conspiracies, but the idea that our President issued a fiat or writ or proclamation or phone call or tweet or Goodyear blimp that directed the local Sheriff, Lee Baca, to incarcerate this Nakoula Nakoula fellow is quite bollocks. It takes a rare and sober intellect to hallucinate this way. Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet batshit of your stature, sir. Get yourself a dream catcher, Jitters, and let the Vince Foster banshee go free.

ADD: Can you believe it? I just now looked up this Reynolds character, and he’s a law professor. I always thought people were kidding about that, but they were serious! A professor of law!

Epistemology. How do people know what they know? How does one come to believe what one believes? Some folks use an agenda.

Compare and contrast. Example 1, Steve King:

Rep. Steve King, one of the most staunchly conservative members of the House, was one of the few Republicans who did not strongly condemn Rep. Todd Akin Monday for his remarks regarding pregnancy and rape. King also signaled why — he might agree with parts of Akin’s assertion.

King told an Iowa reporter he’s never heard of a child getting pregnant from statutory rape or incest.

“Well I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way,” King told KMEG-TV Monday, “and I’d be open to discussion about that subject matter.”

Gosh does any of that really happen? Pregnancies after that stuff? I’ve never heard of such crazy things. It’s never happened to my wife or daughter. But I suppose if you want to tell me stories I’ll try to listen. (have my secretary fit you into my busy schedule.)

Example 2, Todd Akin:

Arguing that he misplaced the word “legitimate,” Akin explained — during a follow up interview with Dana Loesch — that he meant to argue that women sometimes lie about being raped:

“You know, Dr. Willke has just released a statement and part of his letter, I think he just stated it very clearly. He said, of course Akin never used the word legitimate to refer to the rapist, but to false claims like those made in Roe v. Wade and I think that simplifies it….. There isn’t any legitimate rapist…. [I was] making the point that there were people who use false claims, like those that basically created Roe v. Wade.”

Women lie about rape, everybody knows that. What are you, dumb?

Here comes genius. Deep bows, people.

Bryce Harper is a conservative hero.

Look. It’s the Daily Caller, home of the punch-worthy asshole. Baseball everybody, let’s go there. Didja hear? Teen ballplayers are Abraham Lincoln. Honestly.

The star rookie for the Washington Nationals has woken up Major League Baseball, and watching it unfold has reminded me of nothing so much as the collapse of the old political paradigms and the inevitable and upcoming rebirth of conservatism in November.

Somebody pitched The Kid some ancient ways, and he swatted them into the river. So now here come the cavemen full of American vigor and renaissance, hurrah. Lord knows we’ve never seen them before. The rich getting richer, the kids going off to IRA_, the cardboard president being greatly despised, these would debut to a gobsmacked America. As some say, this is how the waking unfolds. Who knew it was possible? Put down the phone book, you can’t cheat.

The ball was hit to Braves right fielder Jason Heyward. Heyward strolled up to the ball as if he were walking to the corner for a paper.

Harper promptly headed for second base. Heyward suddenly woke up and fired to second base, but too late.

More than one sports writer has noted that this moment was no small thing for baseball. It was like the part in the movie “Awakenings” when the guy who was asleep for 30 years wakes up.

But no matter how much Romney you administer, Robert DeNiro goes back to being a rutabaga. America! Roll credits.

Even more from the political geniuses, because you really wanted to hear it. Here’s everything you didn’t know about reality after the Wisconsin recall. A little something where lying, masked, prances absurdly as knowledge.

June 7, 2012 8:00 P.M.
What Wisconsin Means
Reality was on the side of the governor.
By Charles Krauthammer | National Review

But first we interrupt, to dispense with trivia or Chuckle-pretensions. President Obama can’t win anything ever again. Why? Because? The recall was a loser. So his public life is over, kaput. Goodbye, the good man I voted for. It’s a simple but powerful fact, like nenny nenny hee or BOOYAH. The corollary: If Barrett had somehow won, Republicans would have tarred and feathered the Romney campaign. No one wants to participate in the embarrassment of Obambi winning all 50 states. What a lucky thing Romney will be dispensing the acrid humiliation forever, from now on.

Also: Labor unions are dead.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012, will be remembered as the beginning of the long decline of the public-sector union. It will follow, and parallel, the shrinking of private-sector unions, now down to less than 7 percent of American workers.

Au revoir, bullies. Though they’re a tiny fraction of the voters, they dictate their politics to millions. The Nazi Bluecollars tried to determine the outcome of the 2010 election, but they failed. Ha ha. Then they failed to secure the recall, and a thunderclap rang out and the unions died. Right? Would I be lying?

The abject failure of the unions to recall Wisconsin governor Scott Walker — the first such failure in U.S. history — marks the Icarus moment of government-union power. Wax wings melted, there’s nowhere to go but down.

Then they all flew to the sun, and they got there because frankly they know how things work. It’s Hebris I tell you. Much respect thanks humble narrator, Charles Emerson Krauthammer the Eleventy.

This president is so cool, he can’t help it. It’s just his nature. Speaking at a fundraiser not too far from here, he told an LGBT-friendly crowd: “My wife won’t suck my penis.” And the crowd erupted in both friendly and derisive laughter because that’s not their problem. Right? Oh Mr. President, you silly Commander Guy with your lonely saliva-free dong. You is lovable, in your lame hip-hop way like the Fresh Prince.

The quote came when Obama spoke of the first lady’s appearance on Ellen Degeneres’ show. Click for audio. (click)

I want to thank my wonderful friend who accepts a little bit of teasing about Michelle beating her in pushups — but I think she claims Michelle didn’t go all the way down. That’s what I heard. I just want to set the record straight — Michelle outdoes me in pushups as well. So she shouldn’t feel bad. She’s an extraordinary talent and she’s just a dear, dear friend — Ellen DeGeneres. Give Ellen a big round of applause.

And err whoops. I screwed it up. I see the joke was actually: “Ellen Degeneres said my wife won’t suck anyone’s penis.” Or: “Ellen Degeneres said my wife won’t suck her studio carpet’s penis.” Whatevs, my wife won’t put it in her mouth, and that’s the joke the President was trying to make. In order to win over the intransigent Hollywood insider CoJo/Ross the Intern constituency.

Did the Greatest Orator in the History of the Republic Make a Crude Sexual Joke About His Wife?
Sundries Shack | Jimmie

President Obama gave a speech Wednesday, a part of which genuinely boggled my mind. Now, I know you’re probably thinking I’ll quote a stirring bit of admiration of the heroes who stormed the beaches of Normandy so many years ago. After all, Wednesday was the anniversary of the Day of Days. But no. . .

Today’s mind-boggling moment cane [sic] during a speech at a fundraiser before an LGBT audience. . . in the midst of his remarks, he dropped one of the more inappropriate comments I’ve seen from a President since, well, the last Democrat we had in office. This is from the official pool report, as quoted by Todd Starnes of Fox News Radio.

“Michelle outdoes me in pushups as well,” he said, after saying that she’s taken some criticism on her technique “because she doesn’t go all the way down” – a line that he let hang, naughtily provoking laughter from the crowd.

Well, that ain’t the transcript, is it? Yeah, so? Who cares.

Did President Obama Just Make A Blowjob Joke?
So says the pool report from his gay and lesbian fundraiser at L.A.’s Beverly Wilshire tonight.
Incredibly awkward.

Buzzfeed, that. Dan Riehl:

Obama: Michelle “Doesn’t Go All The Way Down”

I’m thinking Barry didn’t want to go there at a gay and lesbian fund raising event. But he di-d!!

Then Dan gets the transcript.

Update: It Was A Gay Joke – Obama: Michelle “Doesn’t Go All The Way Down”

Update: Buzzfeed has added the transcript. Given that it was related to Ellen DeGeneres, the context becomes a bit more clear – or, less fuzzy, perhaps.

The joke was gay. Get it? I don’t. I’m thinking homo sex is all quantum mechanical to Dan. Good guess, pal. This was iOwnTheWorld’s take:

They’re having difficulty interpreting the President’s humor. Imagine trying to have sex with these people. Betsy’s Page:

Classy, President Obama, classy.

Ann Althouse plays the silly game Limbaugh made famous. You’re smart enough to know the truth, but you need the adulation and play both sides:

. . consider that Obama has a bone to pick — does that sound dirty to you? — with Bill Clinton right now, and given the strong association between Bill Clinton and blowjobs and the suspicion that Obama is currently pissed at Bill Clinton, he may have been engaging in some subtle jousting with Bill Clinton — does that sound dirty to you? —about the sexual proclivities of their respective wives.

So she puts up a ‘poll’ — “does that sound dirty to you?” (jeezus). And “Yes. Completely intentional, with a touch of deniability written in.” is winning handily.

Well here it is. The actual clip, where you see what happened:

Been working too hard for normal blogging, my apologies. Just came across this though: “Own It Like a (Rich) Man!” Melissa O’Sullivan at National Review gets plenty excited over what promises to be a brilliant election strategy. Mitt Romney should embrace his outer spoiled brat:

Remember Casper the Friendly Ghost? Wendy the Good Witch? Richie Rich? They were types we weren’t supposed to like — ghost, witch, rich boy . .

Batman. Part bat, and gay in the bad way. Also Inspector Gadget was mostly prosthetics, and that can’t be any fun.

. . yet we loved these characters because they possessed all the great bennies belonging to each archetype: special powers of flight or materialization, and the ability to walk through walls, in the case of Casper and Wendy; the ability to have the greatest toys . .

Mitt has that ability! The very best toys. Like a mountain of cash, which is great fun.

Rather than being painted as Richie Rich’s bully-boy nemesis — Reginald Van Dough Jr., Rich’s nasty cousin — Romney could easily be the hero. Call him Moneyed Mitt. And he can do it in three easy steps . .

. . so Melissa lists all six of the three easy steps. Sshhh, she’s rolling:

1. Remember the story about Romney putting all the resources of his organization to work to rescue the abducted daughter of an employee?

Talk about all the people you help by using your toys. This will fail. Next:

2. The mansion under construction in La Jolla? If y’all don’t have a videographer out there right now interviewing the myriad construction workers . .

Talk about all the people that make money by selling you your toys. The mansion maker, the guy who re-noberates car elevators. Better.

3. Stand in front of that fab school with the “manicured fields” and say how fortunate you were that your dad, who never even graduated from college, sent you to such a wonderful school.

“Here I am, standing in front of Capital Bully Prep. Ah, the good old days. Back then, the students were the only things I owned. Still, the hard knocks were worth every penny. Sincerely Dad, thanks.” [. . fade out: Mitt taping his butler to the flag pole.]

4. Comedian Jon Lovitz recently challenged the myth that the 1 percenters don’t pay their fair share of taxes. Do a road show with him.

“Say, Mitt — what did you do last night?”

“‘Glad you asked, Jon. I sat next to a construction site and watched bulldozers raze a working steel factory. I lit a thousand Cuban cigars with hundred dollar bills and chucked them all into the pit. I spread my wife, Morgan Fairchild, out across a blanket of 100% Indonesian rhino skin and made very brief-sweet love to her. Then I slapped her fat ass, like this.” *smack*

“OW.” [applause from Tampa]

5. Discuss how wealth is created, touting Zuckerberg’s rise.

“Hello America. Some people construct vital and vibrant companies from scratch using only their brilliance, foresight and creativity. These people make a country great. Other people tear down what others create. May I introduce myself?”

6. Talk about your dad: born into a family of modest means . . he rose to become the head of American Motors Company, where he turned the business around by focusing on a compact, fuel-efficient car (remember the Rambler?) . .

“Hello, vote for me, Mitt Romney. I’m a poor imitation of the man who gave you the AMC Rambler.” This will work.

The devoted Christian writers at Renew America are usually good for a few laughs. Fox-borne conspiracies, the omnipresent Satan, Thom Jefferson the fundie, and all types of apocalypse. Poor spelling. It’s a proud and pitiable site. They’ve been on an anti-Mormon tear for months, which surely must please Jesus.

Every once in a while a post shows up that’s different. This one by Catholic News Agency columnist Louie Verrecchio is such a thing. In it, he makes arguments that are notable for several reasons:
1.) They’re more cogent than most.
2.) They come out of the ‘intellectual’ Christian community.
3.) They address homosexuality.

Louie believes he knows of what he speaks, or he wouldn’t remind you that his opinion “has been endorsed by Cardinal George Pell of Sydney, Australia; Bishop Emeritus Patrick O’Donoghue of Lancaster, England, Bishop R. Walker Nickless of Sioux City, IA, USA and others.” We know we’re reading a top notch Christian editorialist.

This is his post: “Bullying: A pseudo crisis of convenience.” You’ll have to indulge me because the arc of his arguments gets a bit long, so I’ll skip to homosexuality. On that he writes:

As the [Dan] Savages of the world would have us believe, a large percentage of human beings have always been “born gay,” but it is only thanks to the good efforts of people in the LGBT community that increasingly more of these kids are now able to come out of the closet.

This would be our argument. Louie knocks it down by telling us what he and other Christian intellectuals already know:

Nonsense. The LGBT community has done nothing but yeoman’s work in making sure that sexually under-developed, confused adolescents who are wrestling with unnatural, disordered desires exist in spades.

Louie speaks of developing homo-sexuality. Some kids are only partially developed, and therefore confused. I’m trying to think of an apt analogy for this theory. It’s like when your two year-old puts a stick in his mouth, and his desire for food is confused. Once he gets older (more ‘developed’), he’ll know that his mouth is really meant for cake and pie. He’ll taste actual food and he’ll learn to love it.

From there, these champions of justice do everything they can to make sure that these unfortunate children are summarily deprived of the help they really need, because God forbid anyone acknowledge the underlying psychological and spiritual maladies that accompany homosexuality.

Chaos sets in. And that’s when gay activists tell the young child to eat even more sticks. And dance (yes!) to his heart’s content because he’s really a wood-gobbling fag. Oh no. You see the problem.

The reality is that people like Dan Savage and his “husband” are simply using these poor kids to further their own self-satisfying agenda.

As if the people like Dan could have a “husband” because that’s not “legal.” Anyway, that’s the story of homosexuality. In short: immaturity plus acceptance equals fake. Homosexuals just aren’t sexually real. They’re unedited miscues, preserved by enabling. Ebonics comes to my mind, as if that were “language.”

Now we draw back from these details, and we look at the whole post. Working backward from homo-sexuality . .

With K-thru-12 schoolyards from sea-to-shining-sea boasting a bumper crop of soft-bellied boys who have been raised to believe that every incident of normal youthful conflict is best resolved by mommy in a parent-teacher meeting, the time was apparently ripe for launching a corresponding ersatz crisis; namely, that dreaded social epidemic known as “bullying.”

. . we see that today’s typical American boy is a wussy. Holy smokes. That’s a difficult charge to level at millions of young people, but it sounds somewhat clever since it lacks evidence. I sense why bishops and cardinals like this ‘Louie’ guy (how again do you herd 20,000 species of beetle onto an ark?). Now we go all the way back, to the top:

. . liberal social engineers are hell bent and determined to see to it that society doesn’t allow a healthy sense of maleness (e.g., attributes like competitiveness, protectiveness and leadership) to take hold in the next generation of husbands and fathers; ergo their deliberate effort to discourage the development of authentic masculinity in male children from boyhood to adolescence.

. . we liberals are wiping the whole of masculinity off the map. Right. [And why, btw? Louie: 'Because liberal guilt over the way Grampa treated women.' Louie does not grasp how making all men gay might be even crueler to future grammas.]

Let’s be honest: this is raving madness. Where the hell could this lunacy have come from? You wonder, then it clicks. That fancy Christian model, again — each individual male is exactly like the next one. The fully-developed destination for each of us is effortless heterosexuality, remember? So something’s got to explain the huge number of queers. And here’s your fancy answer: we leftists have been decimating male identity. We figure we’d be stop the march of masculinity in its tracks before it fell upon macho. Hence, America has been cranking out shiny new limpwrists “in spades.”

So let’s just stop bullying the bullies, shall we? Before this country’s seen its last red-blooded kid crying before Matthew Shephard’s picture, or something worse.