Smithers? Yes sir? Release the poodles.

The fierce blogginati of the Conservative Intra-Uterine Candidates 2012 Dysfunction Filibuster shed their background roles yesterday in favor of something a little weightier. Something a little more dramatic. King Lear, probably? Staggering in a shitstorm of Rush Limbaugh’s making, they a-wailed:

You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,
Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,
I am warning you, I’ll GET YOU FOR THIS.

Yea, totes. Well, that’s what it looked like to me. What’s this to you?

EXCLUSIVE: DEMS INCITE DEATH THREATS AGAINST LIMBAUGH
Dan Riehl | Breitbart.com

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH .. . .. . . !

See? Maddening regret, driven by fear. Tinged with rage.

Conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh is being targeted by multiple death threats after President Barack Obama and the Democratic Party ignored his apology for controversial remarks and continued to single him out for rebuke.

If only death threats, rather than people, could target people. I could say, “I’ll get you, Richard Simmons” and the little word-cloud would chase him around for eternity. You think he’s skinny now?

Admit that you’ve gone nuts, Dan. Then, we’ll — no, never mind, Dan could never be sane. He’s a cliche-chucking bunghole, and he likes it that way. Dan says that after we rejected Serene Ol’ Rush’s apology — tear-stained! sincere! — we a-holes came ’round for another crack at him wielding an even nastier tactic: Single him out. Ha! We now shall mention you by name, Fat Man, oops. I call thee: Rush Limbaugh. (*satan wakes* ‘What now? Who?’) Aauugh! You’re killing him!

The mainstream media is also culpable here, as NewsBusters has pointed out in an article titled “Onslaught: ABC Airs Eight Limbaugh Stories in Less Than Five Days.”

Note: ABC News airs stories of interest. Counter, Newsbusters: “In a blatant display of partisanship, the liberal media, led by ABC, have aired 11 stories on the crash of a New York-bound jetliner that killed 23 people. HEY– just because you hate jumbo jets does not give you the right to poison our children’s minds, moonbats.” Okay, I get it. STOP. TALKING. ABOUT. RUSH.

Yet, none have yet to point out the evil, uglier, if not dangerous, side of the very same campaign now being driven directly by Obama and his sycophants in progressive New Media, with the help of complicit mainstream outlets . . the left has pressed home what it sees as a sudden political opportunity provided by Rush’s provocative reaction–despite his apology.

Yes, you’re getting your asses kicked. But the kickers are just regular Americans. They can no longer fucking stand Rush fucking Limbaugh. I have pretty good evidence of that: All my old posts and videos on him have been ‘blowing up.’ It’s as if people were double-checking, “Is he really this shitty?” So every day, they see more. This will continue for a while — America seeing more, Rush looking worse.

But just go blame someone else. Hell, that’s your job.

The Party of Hate
John Hinderaker | Powerline

Somebody else must have done something to get Americans so angry. Somebody else must have driven people to the internet by perhaps the millions so they could find out who this Rush Limbaugh really is. Who did it?

Millions of Americans voted for Barack Obama in the hope that he would be a trailblazer who would conduct the presidency in a new way. Well, he has: Obama has been the most divisive president in our modern history, unabashedly stirring up hate against not only his political enemies, but against private citizens who exercise their right to participate in our democracy. The most recent hatefest has been directed against Rush Limbaugh, and Obama has personally stirred the pot.

Got it, John. Just let me ask you: What exactly has Obama “personally” done? Why, John answers, I can barely count all the things the President has done to hurt America. John says that Obama “personally” tore America apart when Bill Maher called Sarah Palin a “cunt.” And also when Bill Maher called Palin a “dumb twat.” And when Bill Maher “contributed $1 million to re-elect Obama.”

John also says Obama “personally” engineered the destruction of civility when Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee refused to condemn Bill Maher for calling Sarah Palin a “cunt” and a “dumb twat.” John also reminds you Obama “personally” decimated the present and future of this great nation when Rep. Jan Schakowsky refused to call for the return of Bill Maher’s donation.

Gaze from top to bottom. The evidence! Take that.

Barack Obama has been a terrible president in many ways, but perhaps his most poisonous legacy is his cynical fomenting of partisan hate to advance his own political interests.

Please, John, stop. Just stop typing before I start to cry.

After three years, we have learned that “hope” is not the word that we should associate with the Obama presidency . .

Oh, lordy. It’s all true…

Shorter Ben Stein, American dynamo:

A Letter to the Lazy
By Ben Stein | American Spectator

Dear Demonstrators,

. . the overwhelming majority of the people on Wall Street get up early, [and] work an incredibly long, hard honest day . . Do something specific and constructive, and if you are willing to work as hard as the people on Wall Street, you might just accomplish something.

Shorter Ben Stein, emo butthurt:

SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA
FOR THE COUNTY OF LOS ANGELES

By making a contract, then refusing to follow it through for clearly illegal reasons, defendants have inflicted emotional distress on plaintiff. Defendants blatantly disregarded their contract by using an obvious BEN STEIN imitator to fulfill his contract, thereby inflicting emotional distress on the plaintiff. The fact that defendants fired BEN STEIN solely due to his political and religious beliefs greatly distressed plaintiff.

Well that’s confusing. Who are you really, conservative icon Ben Stein?

Ben Stein is the type of guy to sue Kyocera for $300,000 over a contract that was never produced or signed. Ben is who deserves hundreds of thousands of dollars for doing nothing. You are not so special or privileged. Not you or demonstrators, no — the grasping babes of the world need to learn the value of hard work before anybody gets their gruel and water. There are ethics involved when it comes to how you get what you want.

When Kyocera became aware of Stein’s global warming denialism and decided to go with another actor, boo free-market hoo, that’s when he earned his keep. Though environmental policy has become part of modern companies’ branding concerns, they’re not free to consider such things, and now they owe him. They must either hire Ben and let him piss on their reputation, or they must send him a Brinks truck full of cash. Either one, or get sued for the full cost of the imaginary contract.

Ben swears this is all about religion.

However, BEN STEIN said, he was by no means certain that global warming was man-made, a position held by many scientists and political conservatives. He also told Hurwitz to inform defendants that as a matter of religious belief, he believed that God, and not man, controlled the weather.

Snow is weather, man makes snow, man is God. Quod erat demonsteindum. Remember the sermon on the mount? Quote: “A nuclear war shall the weather not change.” That’s essential Judeo-Christian dogma. The grounding of all commercial airplane traffic after 9/11 caused a temperature bump due to the disappearance of contrails, but that never happened because Jehovah. Ben Stein has accepted stupid as his personal savior, hosea hava nagila. Amen.

This behavior on the part of defendants strikes at such basic American values as the sanctity of contract, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and political freedom, and shows contempt for law.

Kyocera wiped its ass with the Constitution. Have I got that right, Ben?