Category: profiles in courage

Pity about poor Mohamed though. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

Let’s be fair.

While I thought the case of 14 year-old Ahmed was unfortunate and sad, I also thought it altogether straightforward. He brought a homemade clock to school, and the teachers overreacted. They called the police and Ahmed was taken from the campus in handcuffs.

To me, it was tragic. And I had absolutely no reason to think there was anything suspicious in the story. Americans sometimes assume the worst about Muslims, that’s hardly breaking news. But now I’m seeing all sorts of questions being raised about Mohamed, the alleged ‘victim’. And this supposed ‘clock’.

The Real Story of #IStandWithAhmed

The hubbub surrounding Irving, Texas 14-year-old MacArthur High School student Ahmed Mohammed continues apace, with the President of the United States inviting him to the White House…

There’s only one problem: the whole story smells. It stinks of leftist exploitation.

People are apparently using the story to, exploiting this kid for, uhh seizing upon the blunder by…hmm. Could one of you sleuths fill me in?

Here’s what we know. On Monday, Mohammed brought a homemade clock to school. For those who don’t know the ins-and-outs of electronics, the device looked like a possible incendiary device.

Oh Thank God for Breitbart’s electromagnetics beat writers. I would have looked at the clock and simply thought ‘a clock’. Lucky for us they know better: It Really Looks Like A Bomb. Well, you’re the experts. And thank Providence that the Irving school district requires English teachers to have previous experience with timed explosives. I mean, what if nobody had arrested this kid? He’d have fooled everybody into thinking it looked like what it really was – a clock. He’d have gotten away with it.

Ahmed told the media that he made the clock last weekend and brought it to school to show his engineering teacher…He didn’t explain that to police, however, according to the authorities. And he didn’t just show the device to his engineering teacher. In fact, the engineering teacher told him not to carry the device around after…Why was the device in English class in the first place..? When confronted by police and his English teacher, why didn’t Mohammed just tell them to talk to the engineering teacher?

Clearly there’s something wrong with this young man. Ben recounts how the cops found him “passive aggressive” and evasive, and he wouldn’t even tell them what the clock was for (…telling time.). And this:

And according to the cops, Ahmed was significantly more cooperative with friendly media than with the police who came to ask some simple questions.

He’s a drama queen to boot. It figures, right? And his Dad’s an “anti-Islamophobia media gadfly” so obviously this whole affair was planned. C’mon – think about it for a second. Just how hard would it be to fool Texas cops into arresting a teenage Muslim? Sheesh. You can make these little schemes as complicated as you like, moonbats, but you’re still not gonna sneak one past these people. You’re certainly not fooling Sarah Palin:

Yep, believing that’s a clock in a school pencil box is like believing Barack Obama is ruling over the most transparent administration in history. Right. That’s a clock, and I’m the Queen of England.

Though that really is a pencil box, and an actual clock, Eskimope Parkaboobs here thinks that – hold on a second, the Queen Of England?! The WHAT?? But I thought you were from Ala…ooohh, I get it.

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The Dukes of Chas R. Dundergob, esq.

This defense of our sacred cultural relics (from yet another of the Empire ponces at National Review) seems a bit…odd. Charles says here: “Repainting the General Lee Won’t Erase What It Symbolizes from History.” Like we would ever do that to the Scooby Wagon.

ESPN reports:

…Bubba Watson on Friday elaborated on the rationale behind his decision to paint an American flag over the Confederate battle flag on the General Lee, the 1969 Dodge Charger featured in “The Dukes of Hazzard.”…

It is time, Watson said with a note of panic in his voice, to “remove [the Confederate flag], hide it, whatever you want to call it. And make sure nobody is offended by it.”

Okay now everybody start with the making of British noises. Chuff! Gillypuds! Eelbacon!

Thus was an admirable attempt to rid Southern governments of insidious and inappropriate symbolism confirmed to have spun dangerously out of control.

Bubble and squeak! Okay, now somebody go warn the KITT car.

There is a clear and necessary answer to Watson’s rather naïve inquiry, “Why not the American flag?” That answer: Because the General Lee is a piece of America’s cultural history, and civilized people do not vandalize their antiques.

What we Americans do with a motorized prop from a 70s shitshow is hardly your business your eminence, Charles C.W. Cooke, MBE DIAF. And if obliterating the car’s Southern Swastika will make any of our neighbors a little less pained in its presence we should do it. Because our country isn’t like yours. We’re not a privy club whose members have for centuries spent their evenings sitting in coach chairs and marveling at the heads mounted on the walls.

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Republicans are some effed-up horndouches

…with a nod to Orin Kerr.

If I understand this correctly, President Clinton was impeached in 1998 for lying about a sexual affair he had with Monica Lewinsky. And the return-to-morals impeachment campaign in Congress was led by Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, who was having an affair with his personal aide Callista Bisek.

“I said to him, ‘Newt, we’ve been married a long time,’ and he said, ‘Yes, but you want me all to yourself. Callista doesn’t care what I do,'” Marianne Gingrich said in the clip released by ABC, describing the couple’s conversation near the end of their 18-year marriage…

“Oh, he was asking to have an open marriage and I refused,” she said.

Congressman Bob Livingston was tapped to replace the wayward Gingrich. But two days after the nomination Bob resigned because he’d been cheating on his wife.

Hours before Mr. Clinton was impeached for his efforts to cover up his affair with Ms. Lewinsky, Mr. Livingston, who had been chosen to succeed Mr. Gingrich, shocked the House by announcing he would leave Congress because of revelations of his own adulterous affairs…

Still, it was Mr. Livingston today who called for Mr. Clinton’s resignation from the House floor.

Ultimately Newt was replaced by Congressman Dennis Hastert. Denny just got indicted for banking violations resulting from a scheme to pay off a victim of his child molestation.

Hastert was a teacher and wrestling coach in Yorkville, Illinois between 1965 and 1981 before entering politics. Federal prosecutors indicted Hastert on Thursday for lying to the FBI about $3.5 million he agreed to pay to an undisclosed person to “cover up past misconduct.”

Bob Livingstone, incidentally, had been a Republican congressman from Louisiana. His replacement was David Vitter. Roll tape:

New allegations tie Sen. David Vitter to a high-priced brothel in his hometown, one day after he publicly apologized for his connection to an alleged prostitution ring in Washington, D.C.

On Monday, Vitter acknowledged being involved with the so-called D.C. Madam. A day later, new revelations linked him to a former madam in New Orleans and old allegations that he frequented a former prostitute resurfaced, further clouding his political future…

“As far as the girls coming out after seeing David, all they had was nice things to say. It wasn’t all about sex. In fact, he just wanted to have somebody listen to him, you know. And I said his wife must not be listening,” Maier said in an interview with The Associated Press.

And personal attacks? Let’s not forget Senator Larry Craig of Idaho.

Larry was arrested in 2007.

Four gay men, willing to put their names in print and whose allegations can’t be disproved, have come forward since news of U.S. Sen. Larry Craig’s guilty plea. They say they had sex with Craig or that he made a sexual advance or that he paid them unusual attention.

They are telling their stories now because they are offended by Craig’s denials, including his famous statement, “I am not gay, I never have been gay.”…

Craig, 62, says he was a victim of “profiling” when he was arrested June 11 at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport for soliciting sex from an undercover police officer in an adjoining stall in a men’s restroom.

And, of course, there’s always this guy.

Republican Mark Foley had supported many of President Clinton’s issues in Congress and up until that point had a cohesive working relationship with him. Once Foley discovered that Clinton had indeed lied to the American people, Congress and the world, Foley led the the cavalry towards his impeachment. Mark Foley was relentless in his pursuit to impeach Clinton. He saw President Bill Clinton’s behavior as “Despicable!” Mark Foley was all over the nightly news and talk radio calling for Clinton’s impeachment throughout the 16th District wherever there was an audience, and throughout the halls of Congress.

Mark Adam Foley. Here he is having a text-chat with an intern. A teenage male intern.

Maf54 (8:03:47 PM): what you wearing
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:04 PM): normal clothes
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:09 PM): tshirt and shorts
Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:35 PM): ya
Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um
Maf54 (8:04:58 PM): love to slip them off of you
Xxxxxxxxx (8:05:08 PM): haha
Maf54 (8:05:53 PM): and gram the one eyed snake
Maf54 (8:06:13 PM): grab
Xxxxxxxxx (8:06:53 PM): not tonight…dont get to excited
Maf54 (8:07:12 PM): well your hard
Xxxxxxxxx (8:07:45 PM): that is true
Maf54 (8:08:03 PM): and a little horny
Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:11 PM): and also tru
Maf54 (8:08:31 PM): get a ruler and measure it for me
Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:38 PM): ive already told you that
Maf54 (8:08:47 PM): tell me again
Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:49 PM): 7 and 1/2
Maf54 (8:09:04 PM): ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Maf54 (8:09:08 PM): beautiful
Xxxxxxxxx (8:09:38 PM): lol
Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats a great size
Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:00 PM): thank you
Maf54 (8:10:22 PM): still stiff
Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:28 PM): ya
Maf54 (8:10:40 PM): take it out
Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:54 PM): brb…my mom is yelling

MOOOMMM (…hold on…) I’M TALKING TO A FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN. Foley was chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, and wtf? srsly.

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Bleat bleat go the robo-children

World renowned child development experts Dolce and Gabbana – on the attack.

“We oppose gay adoptions. The only family is the traditional one.” They also criticized in vitro fertilization and surrogate parents by saying, “No chemical offspring and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed.”

This is just in case you thought, “I wonder what the 10th Mountain Silk And Taffeta Division think of my kids.” Go on, read it and weep:

“You are born to a mother and a father — or at least that’s how it should be. I call children of chemistry, synthetic children.”

I defy Dolce and/or Gabbana to pore over, sniff up and down, prod or paw at any newborn child and then declare to the world exactly how it was conceived. Good luck geniuses. The denigration of their fellow human beings is classic bigotry. Because they’re uncomfortable with IVF technology, they spout half-baked ideas about mercenary uteruses and chemical embryos when all we’re really talking about is “human biology.” You ought to know better, you two born-gay dicks. Oh look, cyborgs can talk.

Speaking as two donor-conceived young women—alive because of reproductive technologies—we felt an urgent need to respond…in support of Dolce and Gabbana.

Friends, my name is Foghorn Leghorn. And I’d like a minute of your time to tell you about the hard workin’ folks over at Foster Farms…

Those of us conceived non-traditionally are full human beings with equal capacity in every regard—no one need question our humanity. It is not our individual, case-by-case worth as humans that is debatable; rather, it is how we value human beings in general that warrants discussion.

Let’s discuss whether “synthetic children” are properly valued in this world. Seems to me their remarkable existence answers the question. That is, until some asshole declares that they’re all fakes, and then people like you step in to pretend there’s a great philosophical quandary behind the insult.

Has anyone asked [Elton] John for how much he purchased his kids? How much money he and Furnish paid the boy’s genetic and birth mother for their absence and invisibility?

How much money did your mom and dad pay the hospital, huh? GOTCHA! God knows that natural pork-style babies don’t cost anything at all. And throwing yourself one of those “shower” thingies isn’t for defraying any sort of insane costs, it’s for drowning your kid in a bucket of warm water while everybody stands around and cheers – saving yourself millions and millions of dollars.

I (Alana) remember when I was in school and I told my then-best friend the truth about my conception. When our friendship frayed, as tween friendships do, she released my secret as gossip—invisible, quiet, and as poisonous as carbon monoxide fumes—and I became the “test-tube girl.” The label was humiliating.

…which may have something to do with why that nasty little bitch – hup, I mean Domenico Dolce – still gets my wounded respect. And you can untie my hands and remove the ballgag now, I promise I won’t say a word.

And I (Hattie) have undergone a strikingly similar experience; my mother informed me of my true parentage when I was 14, and it was, as they say, irrevocable.

Now I can never go back to the lie! Sniff, bastards.

My mother’s then-husband had waited until they divorced to permit her to tell me, and the revelation of his not being my biological father clarified an overwhelming amount of issues between us. For a multitude of reasons—his background, my personality and beliefs, our lack of biological connection—the cards were stacked against our having a conventional, loving father-daughter relationship. And we didn’t.

We had a bad relationship. Then I found out he wasn’t my dad, and that’s when I knew it was all my fault. Do natural children ever feel this way, or is it only something that comes with being synthetic? See if you can find anything in the engineering section by Judy Blume.

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Makin’ the scene at the asylum

I have no doubt that here in America there are many doctors and surgeons who have become rich and successful beyond their wildest desires, and they’re now as wingnutty as Nazi Gruppenführers. But so far there’s only one Ben Carson.

New Day host Chris Cuomo then segued into another issue snaking through the court system — same-sex marriage — and asked Carson whether he believed being gay was a choice.

“Absolutely,” Carson said. “Because a lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight — and when they come out, they’re gay. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question.”

Carson insults decent people here. But he thoroughly spits in the face of some Americans – usually young men – who you may not know much about, and who don’t very often vote.

But then David said something that struck John as strange. He asked him if he would ever get involved sexually with a man. John knew himself to be heterosexual; he had lost his virginity to a girl the year before. “I just kind of laughed it off,” he recalled.

And then it happened. One night after the last count before bed, John says, his cellmate suddenly attacked him, pulling down both of their pants and wrestling him onto the bottom bunk. John tried to resist, but he was less than 140 pounds, and next to David’s bulk of more than 200 he stood little chance as this powerful man forced his way in, slowly and painfully and in silence, without a condom or lubricant.

John was only 17 years old.

Then, one morning around 6 a.m., while out on the yard for recreation, John says he saw David receive a mesh laundry bag from a prisoner he didn’t know. He could see that it contained meat sticks and bags of chips. These kinds of exchanges were common; he figured the other prisoner might be trading the food for the use of his cell as a quiet place for tattooing or some other illicit activity…

That afternoon, John returned to his “house”… His cellmate was in bed. Feeling greasy after his kitchen shift, John started to undress so he could take a shower. As he took off his pants, he saw the mesh bag of food. He looked over and realized the man in the bed was not David. It was the prisoner who had handed over the bag of food.

Wielding an unchecked national evil to attack gay marriage, Carson is quite disgusting. Either that, or I’m ignoring the good that incarceration usually does for peoples’ sex lives. Maybe it’s time we applauded the way our corrections system allows young men to explore their sexuality. And if prison is what a defenseless teenager needs, then I’m all for it. Next up on Hot In America: Dr. Ben cites a few out-of-prison rape statistics and then wonders if the female libido has run amok. I can’t really say I’m all fired-up on the ‘morals’ end of Carson’s superstar campaign, though. As for that gotcha he delivered with, “So, did something happen while they were in there?”:

Although he is still attracted to women, John has a hard time imagining how he’ll form new romantic relationships. He still has flashbacks and nightmares—common symptoms of post-traumatic stress among rape victims, in prison or out—which are sometimes spurred by tiny details: the smell of saliva or shower mold, the feel of tiles like the ones his face was pressed into, a breeze that mimics the breath of an attacker on his neck.

.

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If you see Scott Stapp riding around on a bike…

…please tackle him.

Scott Stapp threatened to assassinate President Obama… and his alarmed wife and sister-in-law made a desperate 911 call to stop him.

Hear the sirens, America? We have to stop Creed’s lead singer from assassinating the president.

Scott had just gone AWOL from a mental facility late last month, when his sister-in-law told the 911 dispatcher he was cruising around his neighborhood, shirtless on a bicycle. She says the former Creed frontman claimed to be a CIA agent and his mission was to kill Obama.

For the Love Of God. Suggestions?

Jaclyn Stapp, Scott’s wife, joins the 40-minute 911 call, telling the dispatcher Scott had printed out 400 – 600 pages of CIA documents which he supposedly found online, put them in a book bag and took off on his bike.

The 2 women were pleading with the dispatcher to snare Scott and take him back to the psych ward.

Yes, that. To the asylum mooks, with the long black gloves: Please do “snare Scott and take him back to the psych ward.” That’d be fine. Meanwhile everybody carry a stick with you at all times. And when Scott on his bike comes anywhere near you jam it in his spokes. Take that, Lee Harvey Douchewald.

As cops were dispatched, Scott placed his own 911 call, saying his wife had stolen his truck and that’s why he was on a bike.

Semper vigilans.

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Report: A policeman has asked everyone to obey him

I fear the Washington Post is merely trolling a troubled country with this op/ed. The author is Sunil Dutta, an LAPD officer turned ‘Professor of Homeland Security’ for an online university. The title imparts a bit of Dutta’s sorely needed expertise: “I’M A COP. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GET HURT DON’T CHALLENGE ME.” The sub-head provides further nuance: “It’s not the police, but the people they stop, who can prevent a detention from turning into a tragedy.”

Perhaps you thought, prior to this, that the officers invested with legal authority and lethal weaponry held the majority of responsibility in these interactions. You were wrong. The person with all the control and authority turns out to be you. After being stopped for jaywalking, you can easily avoid being shot in the arm, or through the skull, by the practical application of your prodigious civilian power. Dutta gives you pointers on how this is done:

…just do what I tell you. Don’t argue with me, don’t call me names, don’t tell me that I can’t stop you, don’t say I’m a racist pig, don’t threaten that you’ll sue me and take away my badge. Don’t scream at me that you pay my salary, and don’t even think of aggressively walking towards me.

Try not to open your mouth. If you move your feet you could end up in trouble, but definitely don’t move your lips. Don’t say ‘I want your name and badge number, pal.’ Or ‘Why are you pulling a gun on me?’ Or ‘What the hell did I ever do to you?’ Any time you have a conversation with an officer, just do your best to avoid using words.

Try to use non-verbal communication instead. Your puppy dog, incidentally, is a master of these techniques. Whenever you get stopped by law enforcement, greet the patrolman with audible whimpering. If that should fail, and it appears the officer wants to kill you, try piddling down your own leg. If, finally, the angry policeman begins to advance on you, weapon drawn, fall flat on your back and stare idly at the sky. As if you only needed a belly scratching. This technique typically gets the hair on the police officer’s neck to lay down, usually followed by the re-holstering of his cocked and loaded weapon. Now isn’t that better? Of course it is. No one really wants to make a peace officer fill out a bunch of paperwork or stay hidden in his house for months on end. In short, when negotiating any misdemeanor confrontation with law enforcement remember your options: Getting killed or getting a new master. The choice is up to you.

For more on living in urban police zones see this episode of My Life As A Dog.

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Anger management grad Tony Stewart kills 20 year-old driver

44 year-old NASCAR champion Tony Stewart struck and killed 20 year-old driver Kevin Ward Jr in a sprint car race Saturday night at Canandaigua Motorsports Park in New York. Ward’s car had become disabled after being struck by Stewart’s, and the young driver walked out onto the track to confront Stewart. As the number 14 car approached, Stewart gunned the engine and struck Ward, killing him.

Tyler Graves, a sprint-car racer and friend of Ward’s, told Sporting News in a phone interview that he was sitting in the Turn 1 grandstands and saw everything that happened.

“Tony pinched him into the frontstretch wall, a racing thing,” Graves said. “The right rear tire went down, he spun on the exit of (Turn) 2. They threw the caution and everything was toned down. Kevin got out of his car. … He was throwing his arms up all over the place at Tony for most of the corner.

“I know Tony could see him. I know how you can see out of these cars. When Tony got close to him, he hit the throttle. When you hit a throttle on a sprint car, the car sets sideways. It set sideways, the right rear tire hit Kevin, Kevin was sucked underneath and was stuck under it for a second or two and then it threw him about 50 yards.”

Among NASCAR fans Tony Stewart is known as ‘Smoke’ because of his temper. Two years ago Stewart, in the reverse role, threw his helmet at a fellow driver because he felt he’d been wrecked on purpose.

Tony Stewart has a long history of anger and aggression on the race track. His hot-headed nature got the best of him over the weekend at Bristol Motor Speedway when he threw his helmet at Matt Kenseth after the two crashed earlier in the race…

…he has a laundry list of incidents on the track. He has been fined for shoving a reporter who snapped a picture and has taken anger management classes to tone down his fiery temper.

By and large, Stewart is a much better person today than he was five or six years ago. He is starting to get far more recognition for what he does on the track, as opposed to the sideshows he was creating outside of his car.

This post comes from Bleacher Report in 2012. How sadly prescient they were:

NASCAR had a chance to send a message to Stewart and the rest of the drivers that these childish actions, which not only hurt the drivers but make the entire sport look foolish, will not be tolerated.

Instead, NASCAR did the exact opposite. By not fining Stewart, NASCAR is enabling him and other drivers to do whatever they want, when they want.

How is anyone going to take a fine seriously if Stewart is able to throw his helmet at another driver while still on the track?

NASCAR messed up big time by not punishing Stewart financially for his child-like behavior on the track. The decision-makers are enabling Stewart, because as we know with children, if they do something wrong once with no consequences, they will do it again until a parent intervenes.

…or until a hearse arrives. I think the days of NASCAR winking at the Dale Earnhardt™ anger management problems of their good ole’ boys are probably over.

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Joe the Plumber: Slammed auto bailout, slammed union workers, took a job at a Chrysler plant

Politics makes for strange bedfellows. Or, in this case perhaps, the right-wing gravy train can’t last forever, especially when you’re a barely literate hack. That’s the hard new reality for the 2008 election campaign-oddity infamously known as ‘Joe the Plumber.’

Sadly, hard times have come for Joe. The attention from conservative media has waned, the requests for speaking engagements have all dried up, and the attempt to win an Ohio congressional seat ended up in a rout. Nonetheless a man is a beast that has to keep eating. So now he’s got to fashion a way to survive without welfare from the wingnut state. What’s a right-wing legend/marginally skilled plumber to do? Get a union job with Chrysler of course:

Yes, I have a website that puts out conservative news. Yes, I am part owner of a gun company. Yes, I’m a Republican who was cast into the limelight for having the temerity to confront Barack Obama on the question of redistributing wealth… But I’m a working man and I’m working.

Never mind that he owes his not inconsiderable fame and virtually every buck he’s made the last 5 years to the anti-union GOP nominees from 2008 John McCain and Sarah Palin. Forget that he won the congressional primary and ran as the Republican in Ohio’s ninth district in 2012. He’s never really had anything to do with any partisan group, and heck those folks don’t like him anyway. Because he’s always been his own man. See:

Since I became part of the zeitgeist I’ve been called a sellout many times – as if the Republican Party sends me a check every month for towing the Party line somehow – but anyone familiar with my online or public activism knows I could care less about either Party and for the most part, they want nothing to do with me.

So he’s only doing now what he’s always done – going his own way. Living by his own rules. And telling everybody about the actual America, the way that reality really is.

That’s all he was doing back in 2008 when he called out candidate Barack Obama and made him spill his Socialist guts in front of the cameras. That’s what he was doing in this interview with Terry Jeffrey from February 2009 [starting at 2:00]:

TERRY: …the substance of what you said was that Obama’s vision was akin to Socialism.

JOE: Correct.

TERRY: Now President Obama’s been elected, he’s been in office for a number of weeks. In what you’ve seen come forward from the Obama administration, do you think that your understanding of where Obama was going back then has been on the mark, or have you reconsidered it?

JOE: Oh absolutely. No, no reconsideration at all. He’s talking about nationalizing a bank. Scary. He’s gonna give more money to the automobile industry. Again, um, you know this is capitalist society. If you’re government’s gonna take care of companies it’s no longer a capitalist society. You can’t have it both ways. So if he continues to do this it will turn into a Socialist [society].

Unfortunately comrade Obama ignored your counsel and saved Chrysler from oblivion with Soviet-style statism. And for that abominable act, from our twice elected president, to you, Joe, let me offer this humble apology: You’re welcome. Now pay your taxes bitch.

TERRY: You’ve emerged as more or less an icon of middle class America. Why don’t you believe that President Obama is looking out for your interests?

JOE: Because he’s a politician, his lips are moving and he’s lying…But essentially the actions that I’ve seen him take thus far have proved that he’s going towards more of a Socialist regime as opposed to a republic. In fact I don’t even think he knows what a republic is…

TERRY: So he won’t objectively serve the interests of the middle class. But many of your neighbors voted for Obama, did they not?

JOE: Yes they did.

TERRY: They were persuaded by his argument.

JOE: No.

TERRY: You don’t think so?

JOE: Oh absolutely not. They were union members. They were persuaded by their union steward.

Now look who’s got a union boss of his own to deal with. Look who’s got a decent job and union card, Sarah Palin’s renegade. John McCain’s straight talker. The man who was once famous for layin’ the free-market truth on Communist Guy. None other than Joe fuck this community organizer the Plumber. This guy:

Can a conservative work safely and soundly in a union environment – in a shop filled with union workers, activists, voters and life-long supporters of the Democrat Party? You betcha…I’m no different than anyone else working at this company in that I want to fix my house up, pay off some bills, provide a secure future for my family and that doesn’t have a Party affiliation as far as I know.

My but the times have changed. So how about a little advice, brother? Don’t let the union steward get in a word edgewise on you. Don’t allow him to go on about how your job security now beats that of any private contractor’s, or how your quality of life is better than it’s ever been before. Don’t let him tell you that you owe a debt to the union organizers that made it all possible. Times may be tough but that hardly necessitates any humility on your part. Give him instead both barrels of your philosophy of life which, from what I can tell, has always been Gimme The Money.

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Run Klingenschmitt, Run

Whoever this guy is, he’s bucking for Asshole of the Anglosphere.

Former Navy chaplain Gordon Klingenschmitt warned on Wednesday that a “demon of rape” was granting bathroom rights to transgender people so that they could “violate your daughters.”

Why you little shit.

On his Pray in Jesus Name Internet broadcast, the disgraced former Navy chaplain pointed to the story of 6-year-old Colorado girl Coy Mathis, who was born as a boy.

Now living as a girl. Clearly this was a threat the reverend had no choice but to take out.

“These abusive parents now have used this little boy to try and claim that he’s a girl to try and tell the world that they ought to let transgender adults into your little girl’s public bathrooms.”

Look, I cannot imagine how frightening, and heart-breaking, and difficult it would be to try to understand and accept this child. That mom and dad would welcome little Coy as she is and support her unconditionally is a triumphant parental act. Everybody else taking a prurient interest or flogging their know-it-all crap can shut it.

“You know there’s not just a, just a demon of deception here, or confusion, or sexual immorality . . but there is a demon of rape inside of this movement to violate your daughters.”

But of course some butthole takes to the Christian airwaves to declaim the child as a ruse. And to expose the liberal charade to gain access to America’s little girls so that we can rape them. I’m not a nasty man, but, if I saw this Klingenschmitt somewhere tonight, I would consider violence. And once again I probably wouldn’t do what I really wanted to, which is why I hate myself.

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The Rand Paul Constitution, barely illustrated, badly illuminated

Rand Paul was a young man attracted to big ideas. And Ayn Rand’s modern philosophy of heightened, if not enlightened, self-interest was a sizable notion that ran counter to all reality, or at least to the nature of all mammalian life, on Earth. So he agreed with the philosophy and he believed in it and he fell head over heels swimmingly in love with it. And he thought everybody else, everybody else, like him, should develop the bigness of mind and of expansive utopian dreams to dedicate themselves to turning upside down our civilization – you know, the place some of us have literally slaved over for ten thousand years only so that today in some societies, not all of them certainly, you might bid a passerby ‘hello’ without being waylaid, bound and shipped to a new, even more savage continent. Simply because the passerby’s self-interest ran to forcing you to plow his wheat fields, forever.

But now Rand’s a senator. Which means that it’s his turn to come up with big ideas.

Forget the Vitter amendment. Rand Paul wants to make sure that Congress can’t ever again write laws with provisions specific to lawmakers . .

The amendment is aimed squarely at Obamacare provisions specific to members of Congress and their staffs that became a central point of contention during the government shutdown.

His dagger-eyed pals having forced federal employees into Obamacare – but no one seemed to mind. They really should be annoyed, dammit! Is this the time to go big? Yes, it is. Tie them to a rack, a huge one. Or lure them into an Iron Maiden the size of the Washington Monument. Neither the government nor the employees are suffering in any satisfactory manner should you ask Rand Paul’s self-interest in this regard, considering the way he had it planned, so something needs to be done. Something quite dramatic. Something all encompassing. And, if possible, historic. Wait!

The Kentucky freshman Republican has introduced a constitutional amendment that would preclude senators and congressmen from passing laws that don’t apply equally to U.S. citizens and Congress, the executive branch and the Supreme Court.

He’ll amend the Constitution. Ha. Who’s not-caring now, upper tier administrators and entry-level employees with hopes for a career? You thought you could go on showing up to work and doing your job without having to think about the self-aggrandizing politics of Rand Paul. But you were wrong. From now on, all the laws of the land, and all the minions of the leftist state, must pass the scrutiny of Senator Self-love’s Amendment To The Constitution. And, lucky you, here it is:

Section 1. Congress shall make no law applicable to a citizen of the United States that is not equally applicable to Congress.

What the, WHAA? Whaddya mean, whaa? It’s simple: Every federal law must be written so that every member of Congress is also subject to the law. If you want to pass a bill to require airline pilots be drug-tested twice a year, this means Representative Michele Bachmann will now have to get tested as well, every six months. Simple enough. And what a good idea.

Section 2. Congress shall make no law applicable to a citizen of the United States that is not equally applicable to the executive branch of Government, including the President, Vice President, ambassadors, other public ministers and consuls, and all other officers of the United States . .

And with the inclusion here of the president, and the judiciary in Section 3, Rand sticks it to every human being even remotely associated with the government. Which is certainly Thinkin’ Big. So if you want to prevent felons from possessing body armor, you are also legislatively mandated to strip, thanks to Rand, the armed forces of their protective gear as well. Sorry pals, they’re all employees of the Executive Branch. Clever, huh?

Not that Rand couldn’t try to exempt the Marines from such a ban. But then the Supreme Court justices, who by then would have all been enrolled into Obamacare insurance plans and subjected to mandatory drug tests and checked weekly for rectal botfly larvae contamination, as well as forced to do a million other hilarious things Congress would normally intend only for small groups of citizens because its meaningful for them alone, would immediately strike down his craven legislation as unconstitutional, in a Big Way, because it’s Rand Paul’s Under The Table And Dreaming Amendment we’re taking about here and It’s a Big Deal.

BTW, I wasn’t the only puzzled legal scholar who noticed this fascinatin’ development. Think Progress caught a whiff of the Big Idea too, merely coming from the other direction:

. . Congress recently enacted a bill that includes a one-time payment for the widow of the late Sen. Frank R. Lautenberg (D-NJ), which is a typical practice when a member of Congress dies in office. Under Paul’s very broad constitutional language, however, a law that is applicable to just one citizen — in this case, Bonnie Englebardt Lautenberg — must also be “equally applicable” to members of Congress. Thus, every member of Congress could sue to demand that they also receive a payment equal to the death benefit paid to Lautenberg’s widow.

Cha-ching. And this:

. . Senate Rule XXIII prohibits all but a short list of mostly high-ranking government officials from being present on the Senate floor while the body is in session. Under Paul’s amendment, however, if just one citizen is barred from setting foot on the Senate floor, then this bar must also be “equally applicable” to the senators themselves.

In other words, now that we understand somewhat roughly the many legal ramifications, we can say that the previous attempt to keep random knotheads from the senate floor will be wisely overridden by the constitutional amendment authored by the Great Kentucky Knothead himself. Rand Paul will have forever barred Rand Paul, and the other ninety-nine Inhofes and McCains, from taking any place in Congress again. It’s tempting to call the whole thing a wash.

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The World’s Greatest Politician

When dark skies rain down, and a storm tears across the land. When the nation is under attack while its leaders only are staggered by division, and chaos. When the strong have grown pale, and the children cry out. And now the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. In these dismal days, when a hero is seemingly nowhere to be found, America could use a real man.

It’s time for The World’s Greatest Politician.

‘Dangerous’ Lindsey Graham vents frustrations
By JOHN BRESNAHAN | 10/12/13 3:12 PM EDT

Sen. Lindsey Graham is angry. He’s frustrated. He’s upset. In his own words, he’s “very dangerous.”

Lemme guess. Am-Ex canceled his Centurion card and there’s a sale on Danskins?

“You can blame us [Republicans], we’ve overplayed our hand, that’s for damn sure,” Graham said. “But their response, where the president and [Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid] basically shutting everybody out, and when you try to negotiate, they keep changing the terms of the deal … it’s very frustrating.”

“This is a very frustrated Lindsey Graham,” he added. “Which is a very dangerous thing.”

Grrr. Mr. Snickers is angry. Nobody likes Mr. Snickers when he’s angry. He barks incessantly until he catches a glimpse of something furry in the hallway mirror. Then he piddles himself running circles around the living room, like his butt was on fire. Which it could well be.

By Saturday afternoon, Graham suggested he may try to attach a version of Sen. David Vitter’s (R-La.) amendment ending health-care subsidies for lawmakers and congressional staffers to any Reid-McConnell agreement. Graham knows it’s a potential poison pill for any deal, but he is that unhappy right now.

“I am going to look at offering the Vitter language on anything that comes out of the Senate,” Graham told reporters. “If we’re going to screw up the whole country, we might as well throw ourselves in the mix.”

This is the sort of thing a dangerous man would warn you about. If you can’t come to an agreement without me, I’m going to step in and pooh-pooh the whole thing. And don’t any of you dare call him “Drama Queen.” But if the sobriquets of “Zeus” and “Thor” were to be knitted on a couple throw pillows (ecru please, to match the drapes) Lindsay wouldn’t spurn your appreciation. You’re a prince – really, you are.

Graham had just come off the Senate floor where at least 15 senators huddled in bipartisan group discussing the current state of play and how to break the deadlock.

“There were how many, 15 people? There were 13 ideas,” Graham joked. “Two guys didn’t have an idea. They were the smart ones. They were the ones that kept their mouths shut.”

Graham then excused himself to go home and watch a football game.

And get in a few reps pressing his iron reputation, man.

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