Category: see you so long fare thee well

Comey’s October surprise: Dud.

Comey’s bombshell came at us like a meteor and hit with a surprising amount of force. The FBI Director’s little cry for attention made a pretty good crater, no doubt about that.

We’ve been circling the smoking device for days. Late last week we began poking at it, daring it to go off. Sometime Friday we finally got sick of the damn thing, and we demanded the boys in the munitions squad haul it off. Now they tell us it was only packed with confetti.

Just over a week after FBI Director James Comey dropped a bombshell into the presidential race by revealing newly-found evidence in the Hillary Clinton email probe, he offered what amounted to a “never mind” Sunday, notifying Congress that the newly-discovered messages wouldn’t change the bureau’s conclusion that no prosecution of Clinton was warranted…

“Based on our review, we have not changed our conclusions that we expressed in July with respect to Secretary Clinton,” Comey wrote. “I am very grateful to the professionals at the FBI for doing an extraordinary amount of high-quality work in a short-period of time.”

Goodbye James Comey. Goodbye Donald Trump. Goodbye Breitbart news and Pepe the Frog. Farewell, so long.


This Republican was once third in line for the presidency

On Capitol Hill they called him “Coach.” But Dennis Hastert was a sexual predator who once preyed upon the members of a high school wrestling team in Yorkville, Illinois, in the late sixties and early seventies.

For months, federal authorities have hinted at the motive behind the hush-money payments former U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hasterthastert bush has admitted to making: the sexual abuse of a teenage boy when Hastert was still a suburban high school teacher and wrestling coach.

But now, a Tribune investigation has uncovered new details of the case — at least four people have made what law enforcement sources say are credible allegations of sexual abuse against Hastert.

The Tribune has determined the identities of three of them, all men, whose allegations stretch over a decade when they were teenagers and Hastert was their coach.

While the original indictment for banking violations revolved around one former team member who requested payments for his continued silence, for which Hastert’s lawyer offered this offensive statement…

Tom Green did not specify any sexual abuse by his client but did say Hastert was apologetic and had suffered humiliation and shame.

“Mr. Hastert has made mistakes in judgment and committed transgressions for which he is profoundly sorry,” Green said.

…the Chicago Tribune’s investigation into Hastert has revealed several more victims. So the former Speaker of the House wasn’t making any “mistakes” back in Yorkville. He was getting his jollies by sexually abusing the young men who trusted him:

One of the alleged victims served as a team equipment manager a few years after Hastert arrived at the school in 1965. Stephen Reinboldt died of AIDS in 1995, and his younger sister has long spoken out about the details she said he shared with her while alive. Two others, who came to the school later, were talented and popular student-athletes from well-known local families — the sort of combination that often bodes well for the future.

Until Coach Hastert takes an unhealthy (pederast’s) interest in your teenager. Then there’s no point in thinking anything will ever be okay again.

How did rock-ribbed conservatives manage to place a child predator so close to the presidency? How could the Family Values party embrace somebody so evil, and make him so powerful? I don’t know. Maybe you’d like to ask that question of George W. Bush? Or Dick Cheney? Or Karl Rove or Donald Rumsfeld or Condoleezza Rice or [warmonger]….


The brazen liberal effort to embarrass a Southern gentleman


Spencer Collier, head of the Alabama Law Enforcement Agency until he was fired today, said this afternoon he has seen and investigated text messages and audio recordings “of a sexual nature” between Gov. Robert Bentley and his chief advisor, Rebekah Caldwell Mason…

“It’s a horrible, ugly episode and I am ashamed to have been around it,” Collier said. “But I told him I would never lie for him.”

Then, yesterday, secretly-recorded tape of the Republican Governor having a phone conversation with Rebekah Mason was released to the public.

…I love that, you know I do love that. You know what, hon? When I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts, and I put my hands under you and just, and pull you in real close… Hey I love that too. Put my arms, my hands under you…


I know. I’m thinking about it right now so I better quit… I can tell you were thinking about it last night… I changed, I changed the subject, didn’t I?… It’s okay, everything’s going to be fine, we’re gonna be alright this week… I know, I know it is… Hey I love you, I love touching you, I do, I do, I do love putting my hands…just holding you real tight, I do, I do… But baby let me tell you what we’re gonna have to do, we’re gonna have to start locking the door. If we’re gonna do we what we did the other day we’re gonna start having to lock the door.

The 44 year-old Mason is currently Bentley’s senior political advisor. Between July of 2013 and November of 2014 the former Miss Alabama contestant was paid $426,978 by the campaign to elect the Governor for “consulting and polling work” [the Governor’s yearly salary is $119,950. -ed.] This was Mason’s reaction yesterday.

“There is no way that man (Collier) would have said what he did…about another man. He only said what he said about my professional abilities because I am a woman. His comments were clear, demonstrated gender bias,” Mason said.

Here’s what the Governor had to say:

Bentley said his comments, captured on recordings in 2014, have hurt his family and Mason’s. He called today “a difficult day”…

He repeated over and over that his sins were in the words he used in talking to Mason, nothing more.

When asked to comment on the recordings – part of which include Bentley describing how he liked the come up behind the woman and touch her breasts – he clarified that it was not a “sexual relationship”…

He said he has done nothing wrong, and asks for the the people’s understanding.

That bit about it being a “difficult day” for his family is laughable. They long ago figured out what he was doing:

The tapes for which he apologized were purportedly created by members of the Bentley family in 2014 as they tried to ascertain whether he was involved in a relationship. People close to the Bentley family allowed to hear portions of the tapes, in which Bentley describes his love for Mason.

What a fitting comeuppance. How many families have been destroyed by a politician’s cruelty and infidelity over the years? Wives and children are routinely used as hollow campaign props at the beginning of a career and shelter in the end. But this time a battered family got the chance to strike first: You want to betray us? To embarrass us? Then you want to pretend its your enemies that are causing us grief? Fine, everybody come and hear the tapes we made of Governor Horndog slobbering over his honey on the phone. Have yourself a lovely scandal, dumbass. Considering that they did this at the risk of being slurred as “liberals” by the governor’s cronies, I’d say they’re pretty brave.

“You know I just I worry about sometimes I love so you much,” Bentley is heard saying in a phone conversation with a woman he calls Rebekah.” I worry about loving you so much.”

At the press conference today, he said he loved all of his staff.

Yeah, right. I doubt he’s ever fondled Lt. Gov. Kay Ivey’s breasts.


Kim Davis is your typical jerk

Pardon me if I don’t appreciate the sincerity with which the now-famous and soon-to-be-rich Kentucky Godeaucrat Kim Davis goes about her life. For someone whose religious text says a great deal about love and tolerance, and nothing about harassing homosexuals, to be so pained at seeing her name on a secular document – only sometimes, like when a loving couple appear to be sinful in her speck-free eyes – that she simply must shut down the government strikes me as profoundly self-serving. It’s a tantrum of narcissistic order, replete with courtroom tears. And oh dear, just pity us this poor woman. The only thing she ever wanted was to be the center of the universe.

First allow me to say there’s a pretty simple argument to be made and I’ll make it here: The government was created not to serve Christians but to serve Americans. It will therefore at some point act in some way the Jesus People disagree with. Those people should feel free to find somewhere else to work, okay? If you’re silly enough to believe that something the government routinely does could put your eternal soul at risk, get out of the game. This is what an adult would do (you’d think).

But nowadays that’s not likely to happen now is it? Because there’s a Christianist fad to force religious beliefs on everyone and everything in order to ‘take back the country.’ (When incidentally did they ever own it? I defer to John Adams’ Treaty of Tripoli: “…the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.” That was back in 1796, and that’s good enough for me.) So there’s no doubt, in my mind, that the day is coming soon when God-fearing food inspectors will start pulling restaurant licenses because the foul and ungodly Tiger Prawn. We can’t have Jesus look down and see your name associated with unclean food, can we? Damnation is for all-time, folks. This sort of thinking is only slightly more ridiculous than whatever ‘religious argument’ Kim Davis is trying to make.

This is not much better:

The Supreme Court’s ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges is a significant setback for all Americans who believe in the Constitution, the rule of law, democratic self-government, and marriage as the union of a man and a woman.

What is an obvious matter of equality – something both the Constitution and the rule of law have well-known opinions about – is really a befouling of everything that is legal, fundamental and American. What color has the sky turned in your purgatory, Ryan? And how did we all go so far astray?

First, government has changed. The progressive movement gave us the administrative state. Limited government and the rule of law were replaced by the nearly unlimited reach of technocrats in governmental agencies. As government assumes responsibility for more areas of life, the likelihood of its infringing on religious liberty increases.

The rule of huh? Technocrats in what agencies? Infringing on whose liberty? Or so you say? Oh bullshit, just watch this. Here comes this same ‘Ryan’, the Heritage Foundation trad-marriage legal expert, in the NYT today writing to the martyr’s rescue…We Don’t Need Kim Davis to Be in Jail. In only these last few months you won’t believe where all his precious principles went:

KIM DAVIS, the clerk in Rowan County, Ky., went to jail last week, and there was no good reason for her to be there.

NO good reason? Not the ‘rule of law’? Naw, nope. Whatever the hell that old thing was it no longer counts. Now is the crucial time for religious people to do whatever the hell they please (…Christians that is. Don’t get any ideas there, Akbar.). In fact the country is only going to see ever increasing amounts of this patriotic sort of thing. Get ready everybody for The Christian Berserker:

Americans can expect more conflicts over religious conscience and same-sex marriage if we don’t find a way to coexist peacefully.

The chutzpah, to coexist peacefully – do you believe this guy? What glowing, burning balls. Kim Davis refuses to license fully-legal marriages and AMERICA SHOULD FIND A WAY TO CO-EXIST WITH HER. I could be mistaken but I believe this is a humble request for all gay people within some vicinity of a certain Big Government bureaucrat to promise they’ll never get married. Well, not to ever get married in a legal sense anyway. Is that too much to ask, queers? You ever heard of that little word, ‘respect’? Yeah try looking it up sometime (…no, not in “Our Bodies, Ourselves”).

Ms. Davis has become a symbol of what happens when we don’t…

Oh dear boy, put down the gold appliqué. Ms. Davis is not remotely as much a symbol of religious piety as she is an example of disregard for others’ well-being. And she’s in serious trouble right now because she…duhn duhn DUHN…broke the law. Her selfishness did real harm to the innocent and unsuspecting people around her, so a judge threw her in jail. If Krist-Lovin’ Kim can’t or won’t understand how those two things go together, she can quiz her cellmate. In America, this is what you get. There is nothing extraordinary about this woman or this case.


Peggy Sue got buried

Let’s see what the WSJ hackmatrix just spit out.

A Small President on the World Stage
Peggy Noonan | September 27, 2013

Wait, isn’t this Maureen Dowd’s territory? ‘I miss my vibrator,’ something like that?

“We want American leadership,” said a member of a diplomatic delegation of a major U.S. ally. He said it softly, as if confiding he missed an old friend.

With grace, a nice touch. Now tell us how all your friends laugh behind his back.

He had impressed these men and women once. In the cutaways on C-Span, some delegates in attendance seemed distracted, not alert, not sitting as if they were witnessing something important. One delegate seemed to be scrolling down on a BlackBerry, one rifled through notes. Two officials seated behind the president as he spoke seemed engaged in humorous banter.

Very rich. Now where’s the hunk? There’s always a crush somewhere off-screen. Cue the new guy – a wild-eyed rebel with a shock of dark hair, drivin’ a bitchin’ Axis Of Evil…

While Mr. Rouhani could not meet with the American president, he did make time for journalists, diplomats and businessmen brought together by the Asia Society and the Council on Foreign Relations. Early Thursday evening in a hotel ballroom, Mr. Rouhani spoke about U.S.-Iranian relations.

He appears to be intelligent, smooth, and he said all the right things—”moderation and wisdom” will guide his government, “global challenges require collective responses.” He will likely prove a tough negotiator, perhaps a particularly wily one.


. . his spokesmen had suggested the possibility of a brief meeting or handshake between Messrs. Obama and Rouhani. When that didn’t happen there was a sense the American president had been snubbed. For all the world to see.

Which, if you are an American, is embarrassing.

And there you have it. Today’s Avalon and Funicello matinee, with Peggy Sue Noonan. Aside from that, not that it matters, but in addition, of nothing particularly and really off topic, this just happened:

WASHINGTON (AP) — The United States and Iran took a historic step toward ending more than three decades of estrangement on Friday when President Barack Obama and Iranian President Hassan Rouhani spoke by phone and agreed to work on resolving global suspicions that Tehran is trying to build a nuclear weapon.

The 15-minute call capped a week of seismic shifts in the relationship that revolved around Rouhani’s participation in the annual U.N. meeting of world leaders . .

Rouhani and Obama spoke while the Iranian president was in his car and headed to the airport to fly back to Tehran, with Obama at his desk in the Oval Office. Rouhani’s aides initially reached out to arrange the conversation, and the White House placed the call.

And it was McBomby who zipped up first? Kooky, Peggers. No ginchy Persian nookie for you at The Hop tonight.

“I want it to be the case that this trip will be a first step, and a beginning for better and constructive relations with countries of the world as well as a first step for a better relationship between the two great nations of Iran and the United States of America,” Rouhani said at the end of his four-day debut on the world stage to attend the annual U.N. General Assembly.

Iran scholar Gary Sick at Columbia University described the events as “breathtaking” and said the weeks of slow warming led to Friday’s dramatic step.

Then how about the loner, al-Assad? He was the outcast who something something, dark and brooding. She was the fan who blah blah, cloud nine and eighty-sixed. Oh your daddy will be cheesed…


Dylan Byers wrestles with the bias of reality

Remember Dylan Byers? Politico’s ‘media’ blogger? This was some great stuff of his:

Just before noon on election day, [Nate] Silver’s model gives President Obama a 90.9% chance of winning re-election with 313 electoral votes. Should Obama win with something near that number of electoral votes, Silver will be treated like a hero. Should Obama lose. … Hey, Romney always had a 9.1% chance.

Nice work, if you can get it.

Dylan is not exactly up to shouldering the task of understanding things. For example, just what a 90%-10% statistical probability means. Or why it even exists. And why the stubborn little 10% doesn’t immediately obviate the 90%. That gay wizard is a real douche.

But wait. Now we have Byers trying to get a handle on Today:

Ted Cruz, Wendy Davis and media bias

Sen. Ted Cruz has been speaking on the Senate floor for almost 19 hours, as of this post. The talk is not technically a filibuster — he can’t actually block the Senate from going about its business — but symbolically, it’s more or less the same thing.

Symbolism he understands.

The point is to show one’s opposition to something through a demonstration of physical will.

It’s reality that’s so confusing.

I’ll grant Byers’ explanation of the point of Cruz’ demonstration. But the point of a filibuster is wildly different: It’s to kill legislation. One thing is, at best, drama. The other thing is strategic. One is play-acting, the other is real. There’s a big difference between your kid getting in his tiny toy car to drive around the backyard and you driving your Chrysler around town. Sorry to have to illustrate the obvious, but Dylan just doesn’t get it. This puts him in cat-brained company:

Which is why you can forgive conservatives for being upset with the mainstream media’s coverage of the Cruz affair. When a Democrat like Texas state Sen. Wendy Davis filibusters against abortion restrictions, she is elevated to hero status, her tennis shoes become totems. When Cruz grandstands against Obamacare, he is a laughingstock in the eyes of many journalists on Twitter, an “embarrassment” in the eyes of The New York Times editorial board.

Wendy Davis killed that abortion bill. Ted Cruz pretended to be Brutus, in his mind. One action is a shadow of the other. Along these lines you might also recall that John Wayne wasn’t actually a Green Beret. Ronald Reagan never commanded a submarine.

. . Cruz certainly has an elitist strain and he certainly has political ambitions. But that’s not the point: The point is that the coverage of Cruz has been critical, and in some cases unforgiving, from the outset.

A virtually powerless Texas legislator forced the Governor of Texas to schedule a special legislative session to resurrect the abortion bill she single-handedly defeated. Why wasn’t this criticized for being pointless? Answer me. Why wasn’t she treated like a clown?

At least initially, Davis wasn’t viewed through a critical lens at all. Her willingness to stand for 11 hours was evidence of the American dream in action. Period.

The lack of balance points to blatant hypocrisy. Ted Cruz’ bloviating should be recognized as a filibuster. George Zimmerman has every right to be called a civil rights activist. In Politico’s good name, Dylan could award Michele Bachmann the Nobel Prize in chemistry and refer to her as ‘Madame Curie’ from now on. It’s not a journalist’s job to know anything about the truth, but it is his job to recalibrate the two sides.


This song is over

Witness for yourself the death of a politician.

No one in recent American history burst onto the political scene as spectacularly as Sarah Palin in 2008. John McCain’s surprise VP pick made the covers of both Time and Newsweek. Her highly anticipated speech at the September national convention jump-started the moribund Republican campaign. People who normally despised politics watched it and were thrilled. National Review editor Rich Lowry fell hisself utterly in love:

By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can’t be learned; it’s either something you have or you don’t, and man, she’s got it.

But Lowry didn’t yet know the real Sarah Palin.

“Though I was during the campaign running for V.P., I was banned from talking about Jeremiah Wright and Obama’s friend Bill Ayers,” Palin said in a Fox News interview. “Couldn’t talk about that. Couldn’t talk about Obama’s lack of knowledge, and job inexperience, and the things that he said like America had 57 states, things like that.”

This is who she is.

Palin continued, “in the campaign, Greta this is important for Americans to understand, I wasn’t allowed to talk about things like that because those elitist, those who are the brainiacs in the GOP machine running John McCain’s campaign at the time, said that the media would eat us alive if we brought up these things.”

A caustic human being. Stupid to boot. Her glorious time on the American stage is drawing to a close and all she can think to do is be nasty. The more Americans see of Palin the Politician, the less they find to like.

It’s not a match up likely to occur but Clinton would destroy Sarah Palin in a hypothetical match up in the state, 53/37, including a 62/25 lead with independents. There’s no appetite among Alaskans for Palin 2016 – only 16% think she should run to 78% who think she should not, and even among Republicans just 18% would like to see her make a bid.

Her time is up. All she has left is her ambition.


Suicide in San Diego

Hey there. Local news of a stripe. San Diego’s mayor is a founder of the Congressional Progressive Caucus and a slimy sort.

Thursday morning three staunch supporters of Mayor Bob Filner are asking for him to resign after claims Filner sexually harassed multiple women, including some in his office . .

“I cannot not act,” [councilwoman Donna] Frye said. “There are standards that need to be upheld in our community.”

She went onto say that we need to be sure that we are held accountable for our actions. “We need to hold him accountable,” Frye said between tears.

As you might suspect the 70 year-old Democratic Mayor Bob hasn’t commented upon the allegations. Err wait.

SAN DIEGO — Facing calls for his resignation amid sex harassment claims, San Diego Mayor Bob Filner issued an apology Thursday for his treatment of women and vowed to change his behavior, admitting “I need help.”

Filner indicated he will not resign but that “I have reached into my heart and soul and realize I must and will change my behavior.” He said he and his staff will take the sexual harassment training offered by the city.

He and his staff will take the training? His staff, and their staff, are the victims. It’s one thing to whisper ethnic jokes to your pals, it’s another thing to attack people.


Shalom crazee bitch

There’s just something about going back to the motherland. It puts a man in touch with his essential self. Tells him who he is. Reminds him of what’s good and what’s bad. What’s right and what’s wrong.

I understand Roger Simon is visiting Israel.

He is the man holding things together, the bastion against the absolute Orwellian madness that is the Obama administration.

And losing his mind.

And it is clear from afar that Matt Drudge is the most important person in America today. He is the key man holding our society up.

If Matt Drudge were to be throttled by one of his mancrushes, America would perish. Right.



The Air Force being a secular progressive hellhole overrun by the proselytizing of evangelical airmen, and by megachurch pastors given limitless access to their institutions (Al Qaeda? This is your way in.), it’s difficult to believe the military could have problems with a certain corrosive culture:

On Tuesday, the Pentagon will release the annual report on sexual assaults in the military, which shows some startling numbers.

While the report will show that the number of reported assaults in fiscal year 2012 rose only 6 percent to 3,374 — up from 3,192 a year before — the number of people who made an anonymous claim that they were sexually assaulted but never reported the attack skyrocketed from 19,000 in FY11 to 26,000 in FY12.

So you can see sexual assault is not much of a problem. Victims who make anonymous claims, by the thousands, are a different story. Some of this may be due to the military’s direct approach to problem-solving. It may be difficult to understand why when an airfemmeman is assaulted she doesn’t just fire an AIM-9 Sidewinder up someone’s Command and Control Center then send David Martin the digital replay. Hello, Dateline.

Air Force Officer Accused of Sexual Battery
by | May 6, 2013 at 3:20 pm

The chief of the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response branch of the U.S. Air Force was arrested and charged with sexual battery in Arlington over the weekend.

Lt. Col. Jeff Krusinski is accused of fondling a woman in a Crystal City parking lot early Sunday morning.

. . or why she doesn’t just go all mountain lion on his face. That works pretty good when you forget where exactly you parked your F-22 Raptor at the Crystal Springs Applebee’s. Or when you’re just a citizen.

“A drunken male subject approached a female victim in a parking lot and grabbed her breasts and buttocks,” according to a Arlington County Police Department crime report. “The victim fought the suspect off as he attempted to touch her again and alerted police.”

“Jeffrey Krusinski, 41, of Arlington, VA, was arrested and charged with sexual battery,” police said. “He was held on a $5,000 unsecured bond.”

And maybe that’s the point. When you’re not in the military, you don’t have commanding officers like this guy. You can fuck up a douche pretty good without having to worry about your career, or your life.


What’s the frequency, Jennif?

You’re at the side of the road. You turn your head and you notice WaPo blogger Jennifer Rubin standing next to you. You nod. She nods. Civil enough.

Here comes the parade. Local kids in Boy Scout uniforms, looking a little stunned, wave as they tread by. Girls in sequined leotards showboat and twirl batons. The high school band marches past, blaring a meaty Sousa march. In comes the cavalry, or the deputy sheriffs on horseback, with beards at the ready and sidearms holstered. The wind blows. The smell of hot dogs. The back end of the affair thins out. There’s another high school band, but not as polished. Getting quiet. Dogs meander by. Parents walk on.

You turn to Jennifer. ‘Not bad,’ you say.

Jennifer replies. ‘So much for the grebes.’

Obama owes much to Bush (all Americans do, in fact), including economic policies he inherited and took credit for — TARP, the auto bailout.

How? What? Does she know that people can read this? American people? Millions out of work, millions more on food stamps, 60 and 70 hour work weeks on minimum wage. And we owe George W. Bush.

Obama was handed a military success in Iraq (and then fumbled it away by withdrawing all troops to leave Iraq wallowing in sectarian violence).

How was it a military success in 2009? Because we were there at the time? The old sects and tribes and warlords all despised each other irrespective of our having parked a trillion dollars worth of armed technology downtown. And how was the “success” lost? Because we’re not now slaughtering all the Baghdad bombers and jihadis? Lockdown for the far-flung and despised. What a good reason to keep dying.

Osama bin Laden hunt and drone missile program, both successes, were undertaken by Bush.

While I was piss drunk last night I began to hum the overture for a comic opera. That doesn’t make me Rossini. I assume the reason this woman is compelled to editorialize is that her parallel universe is so astonishing.


My birthday and the darkest week of the year

There’s no reason for you to be aware of any of this. But Thursday is my birthday, so it’s something I’ve unfortunately come to know. It first became apparent about 20 years ago.

The few days every year between April 14th and 21st are the darkest days on the calendar. Evil people, every couple of years, for whatever reasons, do unspeakable things this week. Hundreds and hundreds of Americans have died previously on these few days. It’s like a gauntlet of hell. Tell me, why can’t you murderous lunatics keep it together around my birthday? Why must you continue turn it into a coast-to-coast wake? I’ve only been trying to have a bit of lighthearted fun here. But thanks to you, no doing.

• April 19th, 1993: The Waco siege ends.

50 days after an initial gun battle, FBI agents once again move on David Koresh’s Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas. A fire results, consuming the building and the cult. 76 people die, including 25 children.

• April 19, 1995: The Oklahoma City bombing.

The Alfred P. Murrah building in Oklahoma City is blown up by a large truck bomb assembled by Timothy McVeigh. 168 people die, including 19 children age six or younger. 500 more are injured.

• April 20, 1999: The Columbine High School shootings.

Armed with 9mm weapons, shotguns and improvised bombs, Eric Harris and Dylan Kleebeold attack their classmates at Columbine High in Colorado, shooting 33 and killing 12. As police descend upon them, they committ suicide.

• April 16, 2007: The Virginia Tech massacre.

Armed with a 9mm and 400 rounds of hollow point ammunition, Seung Hui Cho marched from classroom to classroom at Virginia Polytechnic Institute in Blacksburg, Virginia, shooting 49 students, killing 35 of them. He later committed suicide. It remains the deadliest shooting in U.S. history.

• April 15, 2013: The Boston Marathon bombings.

Two bombs explode 12 seconds apart near the finish line of the Boston Marathon on Patriot’s Day. Three are killed and 150 more are wounded, including several people who suffer amputations.

I wish I could lie to you about this fact: I lived in dread that something would happen this year. When nothing evil goes down for a couple years, the tension begins to creep up on me. I figured it would be the North Korea/April 15 thing, but it was far worse. And I’m not superstitious in the least, it’s just that the horrors have happened so many times in the past that I expect them to happen again. There’s something at work in the world beyond my ken, and that’s just the way it goes. For my part I’m guessing the crazy gets wound up over Winter, maybe with spiraling cabin fever. The sun comes out and, next thing you know, it’s another bloodstained shot to the gut.

If you expand the event field a bit, unfortunately, there are more:

April 3, 2009: The Binghamton immigration center shootings.

Jiverly Wong barricades the back door of the American Civic Association of Binghamton, New York. Then he enters the front door and shoots virtually everybody he sees, killing 13 and wounding four, before killing himself.

April 2, 2012: The Oikos University shootings.

One L. Goh orders nursing students at a Korean Christian college, Oikos University, to line up in front of the class. He shoots 10 of them with his .45 caliber handgun, killing seven.

And then there’s this: April 5th, 1994, Kurt Cobain commits suicide. He pulls his driver’s license from his wallet and stabs it into the dirt of a nearby flowerpot. Then he places the end of a 20 gauge shotgun in his mouth and pulls the trigger.

That one stayed with me for months. Why it is that nothing, incidentally, ever seems to happen between April fifth and fifteenth, you tell me. I’m only begging to get through the week without any more headlines. A cupcake and a fresh Coke would be nice also, thanks.

ADD: Sigh. April 17, 2013: West Texas Fertilizer Plant Explosion.

• A fertilizer plant situated about 18 miles north of Waco, Texas, suffers a chronic fire that can not be extinguished before the nitrogenous chemicals ignite, sending the facility up like a small atomic bomb. A local television station, KWTX, reports — and I am pulling for New-York-Post quality journalism here — 60 to 70 people die in the explosion.