. . AKA Marybeth Hicks, Townhall columnist and Childhood Safety Brigadier. She laments, “WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE JACKALS?”

Barbarism the New National Norm?
Marybeth Hicks | Townhall.com | 2/9/2011

Civility is making the headlines lately, but if you dig a bit deeper, barbarism is the real story.

To wit: Last month, MSNBC.com carried this story from Reno, NV: “Six girls arrested for Facebook ‘Attack a Teacher Day’ invite.” One middle school girl was arrested for inviting 100 fellow middle schoolers on the social networking site to participate in something she called “attack a teacher day,” while five other girls were arrested for respond-ing to the invitation with threats against specific teachers.

Another story, this time from CBSNews.com on January 31, is titled, “6 Pa. Students Arrested in Bullying Attack.” This incident involved a half-dozen 13- to 17-year-old high schoolers who assaulted a fellow 13-year-old student, kidnapping him and hanging him from a fence post. He was not seriously hurt. Not physically, anyway.

I won’t make light of those incidents. But I will say that that’s not “barbarism” — that would require a higher degree of violence and bodily harm. I applaud the fact that kids nowadays are far better cared for and obsessed over than when I was a kid, but let’s not go overboard. Teens have always been capable of such horrors.

Fist fights and beatings were far more common when I was a kid. Kids routinely beat up other kids they didn’t like, or who they thought were obnoxious, or gay, or arrogant, or too smart for their own good. Hell, I once punched my best friend. I imagine in this world, with Marybeth Hicks looking over our shoulders, using these examples to indict Young America as a mindless fraction of violence and depravity, I would have had to move to another town.

Hell, our town would have had to move to another town. If she’d ever heard my drunken Dad scream at my Mom, or if she’d ever heard the neighbors go at each other like silverware-hucking banshees for hours on end, heaven knows where in her Safe And Sane America she would have tolerated us going about our trashy little lives. Our solid, patriotic, White, suburban, Republican lives.

“Rather than apologize, the left wants to change the tone of the political debate”
B. Daniel Blatt | GayPatriot.com | January 17, 2011.

So writes the Charleston Daily Mail’s Don Surber about the sudden calls on the left for “civil discourse.”

Perhaps, I’ll take these making such cries seriously if they making them can point to statements they made between December 12, 2000 and January 20, 2009 calling for civil discourse and chiding Bush-haters for their calumny against the then-Republican chief executive (or, for the first 40 days of that time-frame chief executive-elect).

Almost 3000 days? Sizable target. Okay, fine, I’ll take a stab at it.

Day #1 — AL GORE CONCEDES:

Will B. Daniel Blatt ever wise up after being made fun of? Happily, No.

Gun Control: The Ultimate Human Rights Violation
by A.W.R. Hawkins
06/03/2010

. . and one thing all human rights activists are perpetually ready to jettison is the right Americans enjoy in keeping and bearing arms.

Ironically, this right, summarily stated in the 2nd Amendment, should be the lynchpin of any honest pursuit of human rights. Thomas Jefferson made this clear when he equated a government-backed prohibition against defending one’s self with a government-backed denial of “the most basic of nature’s rights.”

Thomas Jefferson sure as hell didn’t equate, say or write anything like that. You, sir, are a big fucking liar. I said that. It’s nothing more than the motto of a gun-nut website: RKBA.

When one reads Jefferson’s statement in light of his many writings on nature’s laws and the benefits of private gun ownership . .

. . GAH. Sure, I’ll take a crack at that. On the 99th of Horseshituary, two-millie-vanillion-and-bazoolie.

. . it’s clear he was implying that the denial of the right to self-defense with a firearm is essentially a denial of one of the core aspects of what it means to be human.

Not gonna back down from this total bullcrap, eh? Don’t give a fuck if the world thinks you’re publicly demonstrating the brains and integrity of a thief? Awesome.

So, if I decided against having a gun, wouldn’t it be essentially the same problem? One of self-denial, but the same disaster? T’would be a “denial of one of the core aspects of what it means to be human”? Hmm, that sort of cement-headed logic just doesn’t sound like Thomas Jefferson. Sounds like an overwrought web-logger who makes shit up because, well, he doesn’t know what else to do.

By the way, what it means to be human would probably entail experiences like communicating through language, feeling empathy for others and coming to self-consciousness. I don’t see how owning a gun compares, it’s just a fancy tool.

In other words, gun control actually steals part of our humanity.

How much worse of a human rights violation can exist than one that actually separates the “human” from the “rights”?

What a comedian. ‘You took my bullet ejaculator! I’ve been reduced to scratching fleas and humping the vacuum cleaner! WOOF!’

Hawkins also believes that any ‘right’ he deserved that someone messed with would be a “Human Rights Violation!” If you gave him a jaywalking ticket, he’d scream “I have the right to cross the street! This citation is a Human Rights Violation!” Screw the crosswalk! Call The Hague!

None of this is hard to understand if we just imagine a woman who lives alone, and is being stalked by a dangerous man. She goes to a gun store to buy a handgun with which to protect herself, but because she lives in Chicago, Mayor Daley will not allow her to purchase a gun. Thus she goes home, and hopes the lock on her door will hold.

When he’s ready, the stalker becomes an intruder who breaks the door open, assaults the woman, and then leaves with a smile on his face.

Join my ‘I Like Rape’ Facebook page!

After reflecting on the matter he realizes the woman has no means with which to defend herself, so he goes back for more, and in time, as his callousness increases, he goes back more frequently. He knows the woman is helpless to stop him because she has been denied that “most basic of nature’s rights.”

No, she is helpless to stop him because:
1.) ‘She’ is clearly your twink blow up doll.
2.) ‘He’ has the keys to his own fucking apartment.
3.) ‘He’ is you.

In this scenario, how long would it be before the woman felt less and less like a woman and more and more like a dog? How long would it be before she had a thorough understanding of what Jefferson meant when he coupled gun control with the denial of a core aspect of what it means to human?

WELL, let’s ask her:

” . .grrrRRROWRRRRRrrrrrrrRRRROOOWWWRRR . . “

WHOA! DOWN SCOOBY!

. . it won’t be long till you feel like the woman who sat in her apartment staring at the door, hoping the lock would hold up under pressure because it was the only line of defense she had against her assailant.

Gun control could just be the ultimate human rights violation.

And if we ever give up our guns in this great nation, we will ultimately give up our humanity.

“C’MON, man. I’m trying to take a little milk break here . .

. . easy with the jokes, there, K?”

“WHA . . CABRERO!?!?” *SNUUURRRFF*

“DAMMIT SYMON, YOU DEVIL . . *kaff* . . IT’S COMING OUT MY NOSE . .”

“Mmm, huh? . .

. . can’t really hear ya, Johnny, see, I got a little mess . .”

“. . HORSEFLY!?!?” *SNUUURRRFF*

“. . TOO *cough* MUCH!! . . Symon — *wheeze* I shoulda KNOWED . .”

“Not with you, Johnny D . .

. . you are sooooommme pistol . .”

“. . RESOUNDING . . YAY!?!?” *SNUUURRRFF*

“AGAIN!! DAMN YOU Symon!”

“. . please, Johnny, I’m beggin’ you . .

. . NO MORE . . ”

“. . the BRICKS?!?! *SNUUURRRFF*

“. . aww HELL CAPTAIN . . *sputter* . . JOHNNY D. SYMON, INTERNET CONSERVATIVE . . *snork* . . YOU’RE the BEST . . . *kaff!* . . *kaff!-kaff!* . .”

Don’t Conservative men know terribly much about women? Why, yes they do. How do I know? Because they’re continually putting up posts like these in which the true nature of women is revealed.

For the rest of us, women are a beguiling mystery without end. For Warner Todd Huston, they are a simple, predictable commodity:

'Warner Todd Huston's thoughtful commentary, sometimes irreverent often historically based, is featured on many websites . . '

Though the two most generally traditional roles are probably pairing with men and having children, which are both fine, neither are rejected by Magowan anywhere. Nonetheless, Huston criticizes her strangely:

And here we digress for some ‘real world’ education in the way of the life of Margaret Sanger.

Her mother had 18 pregnancies, only 11 of which survived. She spent most of her childhood taking care of her siblings. She was forced out of boarding school at 16 to take care of her ailing mother who was dying and died of cervical cancer and tuberculosis. She herself contracted TB as a result.

She married at 23, had a child at 24, and started to figure out that the ‘traditional’ role for a woman could be a brutal and deadly one if pregnancies and child-rearing were all that was allowed. Hence, she became the great national crusader for contraception. She once had to flee to England to avoid prison — it doesn’t get much more radically feminist than that. And all of that thinking and conviction she mustered without a day of Harvard egg-heading, oops.

Verily, why shouldn’t ye wench be keen to receive The Pamphlets of Christian Plank-Dusting and Rat-Brooming? Modest Ker-Chief Tressing? Perhaps then, Braking News of The Spring Cleaning? I would feel amiss without a proper copy of Blunderbuss and Lead Ball. Ah, yes, Dodo Garroting Among the Sportyng Gents. ‘Tis the wasp’s knees.

And just what the hell are “tips on vacuuming”?

1. Plug it in.
2. Roll it around.
3. Put it away.

Oh HO! Because if she had a MAID do it, that would be A FAILURE OF FEMININITY! Or if the HUBBY did it, it’d be a definitive statement that SHE’S A SINGLE LESBIAN! God-damned chore-dodging is what’s got the White World running at zero population growth.

So, Good Housekeeping is like Spanish Fly. No, wait . . good housekeeping is like Spanish Fly. And good Spanish is, like, keeping your house fly. At least in Bel Air. Or Barcelona. Flemish mouse-creeping makes for good highs? We’re done.

Well, who doesn’t want to be “an appropriate wife”? Or husband? My fondest wishes for my own life are all about being fucking appropriate.

Out of all the words in the English language, you pulled ‘bitch’? Gee, how random. You’re a random class act.

And now she’s ‘broadzilla.’ But that’s no angry, fearful shibboleth of yours from a right-wing goon. Aw, hell no, because you’re so far above the trash you attack.

Says here “Warner Todd Huston’s thoughtful commentary, sometimes irreverent often historically based, is featured on many websites . . “ Yeah? Which ones?

First, from the Wall Street Journal. Mackubin Thomas Owens (stop laughing, that’s his name):

The glue of the military ethos is what the Greeks called philia—friendship, comradeship or brotherly love. Philia, the bond among disparate individuals who have nothing in common but facing death and misery together, is the source of the unit cohesion that most research has shown to be critical to battlefield success…

The presence of open homosexuals in the close confines of ships or military units opens the possibility that eros—which unlike philia is sexual, and therefore individual and exclusive—will be unleashed into the environment.

And Ollie North, on Fox News:

Stunning assault on the all-volunteer military, the very best in the world.

Barack Obama now intends to treat them like lab rats in a radical social experiment, and it can be very, very detrimental. Not only does he want the Congress to repeal the law, Secretay Gates as much as said “I, Secretary Gates, am going to selectively enforce the law…” Now, here’s what’s next: NAMBLA members. Same-sex marriages. Are chaplains in the U.S. military going to be required to perform those kinds of rituals? Do they get government housing?

This is too easy.

DEBUNK: Sixty six thousand gays in our armed forces.

RELOAD: Gays are two point two percent of total force.

Lazy Ass finds a convenient target in an advocate who sincerely but foolishly wants to consider ‘reparations’ for gay folks in America.

Our friend from Detroit, Jacob Appel, thinks that gays need government reparations and the Detroit Free Press was so enamored of his idea that it published his plea in its April 7 issue. One has a suspicion that they missed a deadline because this story would have more properly been published on April 1, a day well known as April Fool’s Day. This one simply must be a joke…

Appel begins with a heresy that I think should make black Americans infuriated when he lumps the history of homosexuals in America with that of black American’s oppression during slavery. He feels that one day the “struggle” of gays in America will be seen as “unspeakable and inexplicable to my grandchildren as counting a slave as three-fifths of a human being.”…

The truth is, gays haven’t had it much worse than many mistreated minorities have. In fact, the argument could easily be made that Catholics in America have been treated worse than gays ever have. Catholics didn’t start seeing their mistreatment abate until sometime in the mid 1900s after nearly 200 years of hatred, suspicion, and downright oppression against them. (I am not Catholic, by the way.)

Gays have been beaten and killed planet-wide for thousands of years. American Catholics have suffered with some hostility for a century or two, mostly in the South with the KKK after the Civil War. They’re doing fine, they’re almost half of the Supreme Court.

After that display of moral equivalence (or immoral equivalence as the case may be) Appel warms to his point.

What is not so clear to me is whether homosexuals will be adequately compensated for their mistreatment. So while I recognize that other battles remain, I think the time has arrived to place economic reparations for gay and lesbian Americans on the political agenda.

“Economic reparations”? For what? Have homosexuals been denied work? Have they been kept from schools, forced to second-class status, prevented from voting, kept from healthcare entertainment or government? No.

Yes, you dumb fucking cow.

Appel goes on to pad his piece with historical information about past reparations and then tries to shoehorn the “plight” of gays into that history offering a few tried and true canards along the way — such as the gays can’t visit each other in the hospital tale. Appel even amusingly cites deportation laws as anti-homosexual because illegal immigrant gays can’t marry in order to stay in the U.S.A. Now there is a stretch for you. He sums up his list of grievances with a hyperbolic, “all the funds in the national treasury could not make full amends.”

Now we get to his hatred of heterosexual folks:

The only danger in such a proposal is the possibility that a minority of unscrupulous straight people might claim homosexuality in an effort to defraud taxpayers. My instincts tell me that this fear is unfounded. In the first place, we are still at least half a social revolution away from the day when the sort of American who would cheat his gay and lesbian peers, possesses enough confidence in his own sexuality to impersonate a homosexual. Moreover, I am confident that the government could establish an effective system to screen for straight impostors. What an amusing turn of events it would be if the techniques our society once used to ferret out gays and lesbians were someday turned upon straight men and women pretending to be gays and lesbians. Some ironies are priceless.

You’ve got to be kidding, right? The only reason reparations won’t work is because of all those gosh darn “unscrupulous straight people” trying to cash in on the gayperations? Is this guy serious? And what “techniques in our society” is this guy talking about that have so long been used to “ferret out gays and lesbians”? In what land of paranoia is Mr. Appel living?

Anybody who grew up in America like me knows that gays were ferreted out pretty quickly and hammered in junior high school, in high school. That was the reality, that was our culture. It’s not remotely ‘hetero-hatred’ to admit it, you inert donkey. No more than it’s ‘white-hatred’ to slam neo-Nazis.

But you can’t really throw reparations at that. It was obscene, but it’s not something that historic recompense would be a reasonable answer. Gay is like left-handedness, it just happens.

Rank stupidity on the scale of Huston’s, however, takes careerism.

You know, I probably could hack this job by simply searching for grown-up men who must call themselves by three names. Another post, another day.

Anyway, I found this ‘Warner Todd Huston’ when I came across his “Can We Talk of Liberal Hypocrisy?” post on Red State and his blog. And, as usual, when a guy gets into that rigid, William-F.-Buckley-as-a-Victorian posture, fun will abound.

It’s astounding that so many of these puffed-up statues can be found online, are totally clueless, and make their livings by practicing their chosen incompetence: writing.

Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago based freelance writer, has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and is featured on many websites such as newsbusters.org, RedState.com, Human Events Magazine, AmericanDailyReview.com, townhall.com, New Media Journal, Men’s News Daily and the New Media Alliance among many, many others… He has also written for several history magazines and appears in the new book “Americans on Politics, Policy and Pop Culture” which can be purchased on amazon.com. He is also the owner and operator of publiusforum.com.

Shall we taste the language delights of this Conservative Pro’s Pro? We shall:

Can We Talk of Liberal Hypocrisy?

May 8, 2009 | Filed Under Anti-Americanism, Barack Obama, Congress, Democrats/Leftists, Economy/Finances, Foreign Policy, Government, Corruption, Liberals, Media Bias, President, Republicans, Security/Safety, Society/Culture, Taxes, Tea Party, War on Terror, Warner Todd Huston |

By Warner Todd Huston

–Two examples that reveals the unprincipled left for what it is.–

It is often useful to review the past to see how it affects the present and with the rise of The One, we can see revealed the basic hypocrisy…

Wait, roll that ba–WHA?! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA……

…well, that’s certainly a new one, establishing your illiteracy bona fides before we read the article. Congratulations, wingnut, that’s some sort of record.

Two examples that reveals the unprincipled left for what it is.

And those two examples is…what? Tell me, Warner Todd, because I needs to knows! Don’t leave mine’z hangings.

And it’s as it’s always, with the liberals’ ‘Whitest-Towers’ stabs at snaking the nation’s states into some poorest excuse’s Pseudo-Socialist’s Utopias. Weeleese Wohduhwick! SSSsssssssssss…….

…tells a liberal that–do they believe ya? Pffts.

Right, back to the actual Warner Todd:

It is often useful to review the past to see how it affects the present and with the rise of The One, we can see revealed the basic hypocrisy of the left that is so blatant as to be nearly unbelievable. Well, unbelievable if anyone were to mistakenly imagine that liberals and leftists actually have any principles, that is.

Your usage of the subjunctive pretty much obviates ‘mistakenly’, doesn’t it? Let’s pretend I’m here to help. And then you pile on ‘actually’ as well? It’s as if you were totally, literally unable to actually write.

The hypocritical shift that attitudes on the left took between George W. Bush’s days in office and that of Barack “I won” Obama is stark, but revealing.

Stark is revealing. That’s how it got to be ‘stark.’ You don’t really think about this stuff, do you, Warner Todd?

Let us start with the left’s unhinged reaction to the Tea Party movement.

Unprincipled showmen like Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow pretended not to understand the protests and immediately turned any actual discussion of policy differences into some lowborn sex joke.

Well, now this is just sucky. The ‘unhinged’ reaction to the Tea Parties was ‘reels of laughter’. And would principled ‘showmen’ be Glenn ‘Tears For Fears’ Beck and Sean ‘Spicy Fucking Mustard?!’ Hannity? But, well, okay it was a ‘lowborn sex joke’, fine. Or a ‘born-low and landing-lower sex practice’. Or, a ‘lowering brown sex parts into someone’s willing gob-eww!’ political prank on people who cheered it on repeatedly by name. That one’s your own fault, incidentally.

Look, Captain BatGuano Warner Todd Huston, if that really is your name, we’re barely into your article, and it’s already a complete trainwreck. Whatever you were trying to say, the effort’s dead on arrival.

And–speaking of ‘hypocrisy’–how can you call yourself a ‘professional writer’? You couldn’t get a bolded subject and verb to agree before the introductory paragraph. Oh yeah, that’s right, like a lot of other right-wing bloggers, you’re a ‘professional writer’ because that’s what it says on your 1040 forms. No matter how gnarly your syntax gets, some corporation or wealthy wingnut pays you to continue to do…whatever this is.

Meanwhile, I get paid dick. A shame someone won’t throw a few bucks my way for kicking red-ass up and down the internet, it’s pretty easy.