Category: wow

Stephen Hawking, Tiger Woods, and the ability to speak with aliens…

Cogniq brain pills, the enduring scam. I wrote about this back in August of 2015:

Eminent theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking says what? The Biggest Event In Human History, really? You mean, like Cal Jam Three? Well I wouldn’t want to miss that. *click*…

Since then something like 40,000 people who had been puzzled by, or dubious of, Cogniq’s claims have read the post. This shows you 1.) How aggressive the marketers have been with their ads, and 2.) How successful the scam has been. 200 people a day would not be clicking over from Google to read my little takedown if the grifters weren’t still spamming the world with their laughable claims and getting a certain percentage of people to buy their worthless supplements at $50 a bottle.

Which is pretty sad – but it’s also funny. Because the Cogniqers haven’t gotten any more sophisticated in any of their schemes. About the only thing they have done is changed the name of their bogus product over and over again.

hawking-pill-change-humanity

Ta-daa. Cogniq is now called BrainPlus IQ. But sure enough Stephen Hawking is still being interviewed by Anderson Cooper. And the brayne boosterz are still about to catalyze the “biggest event in human history.”

And once again there are multiple celebrity endorsers. Last time it was Bill Gates, Ashton Kutcher and Johnny Depp. This time it’s…

brain-pillz-tiger

Tiger Woods. And…

brayne-pills-denzel

Denzel Washington. And…

brayne-pillz-dr

…Dr. Oz. (Which is ironic because Cogniq/BrainPlus is a lot like the crap the doctor already endorses.)

And of course there’s the humble testimonial, with its usual junior high school gobbledygook, emanating from a supergenius who doesn’t seem to know anything at all. Meet Alan:

After the first day of using BrainPlus IQ. I took one and forgot all about it.

Alan took a rocket fuel memory booster. Then he forgot it.

Maybe 20-30 minutes later I felt odd.

Because…who is that man in the mirror? Or maybe it wasn’t his head but his wallet that felt lighter?

I can only describe it by saying my mind felt calm and still. I was playing a ‘Mensa Mind Game’ and scored 100% on every answer.

No, that wasn’t some Mensa mind game. That was a ‘Mensa Mind Game’. And he didn’t just do well, he “scored 100% on every answer.” Here you and I are taking one of these tests – without any brayne pillz – muddling along and guessing ‘false’, or ‘all of the above’, over and over again. Bighead Alan goes out and scores a hundred percent on the very first question. Heck, give the guy enough I.Q tests and he’ll have piles of percentages, likely in the millions.

One Month Later: Alan Can Now Read 200 words per minute and scored 50 points above average on his
most recent IQ test.

200 words per minute, this is Einstein-esque? Or is it only very average? [Answer: you hit it back in high school. Darn.]

Obviously, our scammers could use a few bottles of their own neural nitroglycerine. But then perhaps you, too, would someday like to cranio-jabber with…a Betazoid?

brayne-pillz-aliens

Same old pill scam, same physicist. New name: GeniuX.

Take note kids, Stephen Hawking himself says his advanced brain functionality is due to drugs… Stephen Hawking says the pill increase cognitive mind function while strengthing the prefrontal cortex. This helps boost memory and recall. Recent interviews with Stephen Hawking state that his mind is sharper than ever. He credits this to the drug GeniuX.

Only now, with more Martians.

As a less advanced species, we may not have developed key attributes of the mind in order to communicate with aliens of increased intelligence… For fear of overloading our mental capacity, they have remained quiet until our cognitive function evolves enough to communicate… Given this new drug, though, the conversation between men and aliens may be happening sooner than we think.

And let’s not forget this bonus: male dominance.

brayne-pillz-kathy-verified-real

No, of course not! Which is precisely why you should buy it. Who doesn’t want to trick some aliens into having galactic buttsex, or something? The fact that PBS has, of all credible people, sadly, been running ‘brain enhancement’ specials/infomercials/infotainment late at night non-stop for the last five years probably tells us everything we need to know. Meanwhile, somebody is getting very rich.

See also: IntelliGEN, Synagen, Super Brain, MZT 48, etc. etc…

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Newt Gingrich, Godzilla-size hypocrite

My goodness, is this right? Newt Gingrich melted his self down on Megyn Kelly’s Fox News show last night. Kelly dared mention Donald Trump’s numerous assaults on women – what? he’s running for president! – and the sheer impudence turned Newt into a geezer scoldnato:

Gingrich, an open supporter of Trump’s candidacy, blasted Kelly for focusing too much on Trump’s sexual misconduct and not enough on issues like those raised by the speeches given by Hillary Clinton to bankers in 2013…

“You want to go back to the tapes of your show recently?” he said. “You are fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy.”

Eh, you know who’d be someone “…fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy”? A flaxen-haired sex criminal who doesn’t know fuckall about government (or anything else). Seriously.

Kelly quickly refuted him, saying she had covered the hacked emails and that Trump’s behavior towards women was an important topic to cover.

“Listen, Mr. Speaker, I’m not fascinated by sex,” she said, “but I am fascinated by the protection of women and understanding what we’re getting in the Oval Office.”

You know who else had this common Republican problem? Newt Gingrich. He was Speaker of the House during Bill Clinton’s impeachment.

As Clinton insisted that he had not had sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky, and evidence mounted that he had, Gingrich drummed up support for impeachment. He declared he would “never again, as long as I am speaker, make a speech without commenting on this topic.” No one knew at the time that Gingrich was carrying on an extramarital affair with Callista Bisek, a staffer on the House payroll 23 years his junior, but that did not deter him.

The Republicans were widely expected to win the 1998 midterm elections as Gingrich orchestrated a final-week advertising blitz about the Lewinsky mess. But a burgeoning backlash against Gingrich and his party for pushing the sex-and-lies scandal cost them five House seats on Election Day. Walker conceded they had overplayed their hand: “We became the impeachment party instead of the party of the balanced budget.”

Gingrich’s GOP focused on the president’s sex scandal at the expense of everything else, and the nation rejected the strategy. We’d all had enough: “You are fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy.”

The upshot?

Gingrich tried to shift the blame to the media: “I don’t think we are nearly as obsessed as the press corps,” he said, although it was his drive to oust Clinton that had kept the scandal in the forefront of the news.

Still, there was no disguising that the midterm results were a personal repudiation of Gingrich’s brand of confrontational politics. Three days after the election, Gingrich addressed his caucus. “I’ll never forget it,” says Ehrlich. “He said he thought that his continued presence might cost us the majority and he didn’t want to be there and did not want to be the cause of our losing the majority.” Gingrich was ending his revolution, his congressional career in ashes.

Gingrich, the politician, had become obsessed with destroying the president for having an affair…while he was having an affair. It cost him everything. His career was in ruins, as were his dreams of someday becoming president himself.

Now here he is in 2016 – without a trace of irony on his face – accusing a Fox News talking head of being a scandal-obsessed loser. As if he had no recollection at all of why it was America had grown to hate him, or what particular thing it was they fired him over. Amazing.

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Jill Stein: Can you blame my jerks?

Many grateful thanks are forthwith to be offered the soothsayer and Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein.

What we know from history, and what we know from the current situation, we are seeing a rise in right-wing extremism, not just in the United States, and it’s not just Donald Trump, it’s also throughout countries in Europe.

Jew-hating Euros have gone berserk overseas, it’s true. Islam obsessives are running the tables on both sides of the pond. It’s harrowing, and depressing. Does smartypants Dr. Jill have anything to say about it?

What is driving this? It is policies like NAFTA, like globalization, like the dominance of the banks, like the Wall Street bailouts, like the Wall Street meltdown thanks to deregulation.

It was the repeal of Glass-Steagall in 1999 that turned everybody into young white males. Jill’s not just excusing her own constituency, mind you, she’s got her finger on the world’s pulse. When Congress lowered the barriers between commercial and investment banking, half-educated Southerners had no choice but to rally around the likes of Donald Trump, or Bobby Jindal, or David Duke, or some ham-handed Green candidate who would say anything to make them look thoughtful rather than your garden variety racists. The poor little crackers are victims, you see. Goldman Sachs took their IRAs and invested it in Global Crossing – what did you expect them to do?

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Welcome VP candidate Mike Pence, tobacco troofer

Donald Trump had to pick somebody to ride around on the backend of his politics baloney pony. And I don’t see any reason why it shouldn’t be much-despised dunderhead and former Indiana governor Mike Pence.

He has the brains of a goat, swallows every conspiratorial tin can the fringe tosses his way, and vomits up the remains as proof of his own cloven-hoof bona fides.

Time for a quick reality check. Despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn’t kill. In fact, 2 out of every three smokers does not die from a smoking related illness and 9 out of ten smokers do not contract lung cancer.

Only 1 out of 3 smokers dies of a tobacco-related disease you science nerds. Smoking doesn’t kill. Statistics in addition show waaay less than 1/3 of the soldiers who went to Iraq ended up buried there. The whole excursion might as well have been a Viking River Cruise. Why does Mike Pence have to explain everything to you?

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All of the really good Nazi. Just the best Nazi.

Hillary Clinton, the money-grubbing New York Jewess…

hillary the jew

…was attacked on Twitter this morning by member in good standing of the master race Donald Trump. Hell these tactics worked once before, why not try ’em again?

nazi propaganda

Take zat you fill-see Democrat. And your Mexicans. And your Muslims. Pocahontas wooh-wooh-wooo! UNTERVOLK…sad.

At some point this schweinhund bullshit will wear thin and Trump will have no choice but to start pulling the heads off of puppies with his razor-encrusted hands. Republicans being the moral monsters they are, Donald will otherwise stand a pretty good chance of becoming the next president. So here’s looking forward to that glorious misfortune, friends, the gooey gory puppyguts day that will save America – if not rescue our tsk tsk stubborn House Speaker Paul Ryan. WHO will sorrowfully dog-paddle his way ‘cross a pit of boiling iron in a cyanide conflagration to cast his vote for Donald. Traurig.

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Crazy about politics

Sarah Palin is beyond my human understanding.

Sarah Palin canceled a campaign stop for Donald Trump in Florida on Monday after her husband Todd was injured in a snowmobile crash in Alaska.

A source told NBC News that Todd Palin was in “a very serious” crash Sunday night and is currently hospitalized in intensive care.

In a brief unplanned appearance before Trump’s afternoon event in Tampa, Palin referenced the “little wreck” and thanked audience members for their prayers.

Her husband Todd gets in a “little wreck” (très macho bullshit) and she won’t even go home to check on him? What the heck, he’s only in the intensive care. There are a whole bunch of Trump fans waiting for her to speak! She’s going to call the pesky Black Lives Matters protestors “punk ass”! Woo hoo! She’s insane.

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Stephen Hawking, Ashton Kutcher, and The Biggest Event In Human History

It’s not everyday I come across a bona fide scam.

cogniq-great-human-event-iv

This was sitting in a Washington Post dot com sidebar. Eminent theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking says what? The Biggest Event In Human History, really? You mean, like Cal Jam Three? Well I wouldn’t want to miss that. *click*…

CogniQ CNN page

Breaking news from CNN! (see: http://www.cnn.com-news.report/us/brain01/cnn/hawking.php?sid=goo300_dw012l02&q=1asfacp) This would be like a dozen planes going down, with hundreds of white ladies on them.

In an interview with Anderson Cooper, Stephen Hawking said that his brain is sharer than ever, more clear and focused and he credits a large part to using Cogniq Hawking went on to add “The brain is like a muscle, you got to work it out and use supplements just like body builders use, but for your brain, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing to enhance my mental capabilities”.

Everyone that has taken this, from athletes like Tom Brady to musicians like kanye West have nothing but praise for the brain booster, which doubles IQ, skyrockets energy levels and connects areas of the brain not previously connected.

I refuse to let the misspelled words, run-on sentences and elementary-school level punctuation throw me off. I don’t even care that the picture of Anderson Cooper is Wolf Blitzer – I want these brayne pillz! I wanna become a theoretical physicist! Right now!

CogniQ bill gates

And:

CogniQ anderson cooper

Also:

CogniQ ashton kutcher

Not to mention:

CogniQ johnny depps favorite drug

Wait a minute. These alien-synth brayne popperz are taken by Stephen Hawking and Ashton Kutcher? I don’t think so. What the hell’s going on here? Are you trying to…fool me? Heck, you wouldn’t do that, would you?

The Lead Researcher on the team Dr.Rosenhouse gave us an exclusive inside look at the ingredients that make up this revolutionary smart drug…

“We are all very grateful to have this now, as I believe it can help everyone on the planet and take us to the next stage of evolution. We’re very proud.”

Oh I see, that makes sense. A Jewish doctor discovered it. One of those really highly educated guys withnospace in his name. Well alright then, it has to be legitimate.

Are you ready to take the next step in improving your life, feeling sharper and smarter than ever before and making millions or billions in the process?

“I wouldn’t have developed my patent formula if not for this amazingly incredible brain supplement .” – says Dr. Rosenhouse

That’s the greatest testimonial ever. “If I hadn’t been taking these brayne pillz, I wouldn’t even have discovered them!” Friends, this supplement will bend both time and Johnny Depp to your will. And who wouldn’t want that?

With the full market release of the supplement scheduled for later this year, Cogniq is bound to make a splash. Experts say government intervention is likely to limit the release of the supplement due to its potent effects…

CogniQ

I contacted CNN. They have Don Lemon, they don’t care.


Note: I see the scammers have redirected the site. Very sneaky of them. As of now (3:00 PDT) it can still be seen here.


Update: As of today, January 27th 2016, the scam is no longer at either of the first two sites. It’s now here – at an address looking as if it had something to do with Amazon. Obviously, this is by design…


Update II: November 2016, they’ve renamed it again – now they’re calling it BrainPlus IQ. The scam goes on, and on, and on…

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The GoodFellas…in your pants

Someone has got the Smokin’ Gay Man Love for a Scorsese film.

“GoodFellas”…takes place in a world guys dream about.

…in a world where every man carries around an ice pick. In case you need to, you know, slam it into your buddy’s head for some reason. It’s some sort of fantasy land, like Game of Thrones.

To a woman, the “GoodFellas” are lowlifes. To guys, they’re hilarious, they’re heroes.

A George W. Bush fan thinks these pig-idiots are heroic? I’ll be.

…Henry Hill (Ray Liotta), Jimmy the Gent (Robert De Niro) and Tommy (Joe Pesci) are exactly what guys want to be: lazy but powerful, deadly but funny, tough, unsentimental and devoted above all to their brothers — a small group of guys who will always have your back. Women sense that they are irrelevant to this fantasy, and it bothers them.

It’s more likely that women get that this is your idea of manhood and you aren’t very manly. You aren’t particularly comfortable doing what other men would normally do: Work or fuck. You’d rather hang out with other do-nothings and do…no things. Maybe naked, Kyle? More power to you pal.

The wiseguys never have to work (the three friends never exert themselves except occasionally to do something fun, like steal a tractor-trailer truck), which frees them up to spend the days and nights doing what guys love above all else: sitting around with the gang, busting each other’s balls.

There we have it. The reason Kyle loves GoodFellas so much –> balls.

Ball-busting means…ball-busting because…had no balls….endlessly bust each other’s balls…of ball-busting etiquette… returning the ball-busting…breaks ball-busting etiquette…breaking Tommy’s balls…for improper ball-busting…based on ball-busting…successfully broken Henry’s balls…

…h@@ b@y. You should just come out already and say it Kyle: Dominate me DeNiro! I will wash them! I will shave them! Little wingnut.

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Shia LaBeouf claims he was raped

Oh Really?

The actor Shia LaBeouf has claimed a woman raped him during the performance of his one-man art piece #IAMSORRY earlier this year.

Speaking to Dazed magazine in an email interview, he wrote: “One woman who came with her boyfriend, who was outside the door when this happened, whipped my legs for 10 minutes and then stripped my clothing and proceeded to rape me.”

Pity an actor dedicated to his craft. He ends up getting quietly raped in a solo art gallery show.

#IAMSORRY consisted of LaBeouf sitting silently with a paper bag on his head, bearing the legend “I am not famous anymore” – members of the public queued to be able to sit in front of him in the one-on-one piece. It ran for five days in February at a Los Angeles gallery.

Maybe talking about the nightmare will serve a greater purpose. Perhaps chatting about it online with Dazed magazine will begin to ease the pain. We can only hope.

LaBeouf said that news of the incident “travelled through the line” of people waiting, and reached LaBeouf’s girlfriend. “When she came in she asked for an explanation, and I couldn’t speak, so we both sat with this unexplained trauma silently. It was painful.”

These are the dirty little secrets that Hollywood’s leading men have been hiding for years. Between the million dollar paychecks there are the dreadful sexual assaults they’re helpless to prevent because they’re stuck in an art gallery at the time, wearing a paper bag over their head so they can whine about fame. And after the minutes-long crotch defiling Shia…still…couldn’t speak. All he could do was sit with his fabulous girlfriend and his unexplained trauma in sad repose. Because #IAMSORRY. And also #ACTING. You ask me, I’ll tell you that Christ was ultimately a tragic figure because he needed to stay in character at all times. And because even though his girlfriend sometimes got upset, he never ever called the cops. I didn’t think it was possible to rape the crime of ‘rape’, but I think this douche just did it.


More, from People magazine:

“One woman who came with her boyfriend, who was outside the door when this happened, whipped my legs for 10 minutes and then stripped my clothing and proceeded to rape me … There were hundreds of people in line when she walked out with disheveled hair and smudged lipstick. It was no good, not just for me but her man as well,” he writes of the incident.

LaBeouf says things got even worse when he realized that his girlfriend, fellow Nymphomaniac actress Mia Goth, was waiting in line to see him when the assault took place.

“On top of that my girl was in line to see me, because it was Valentine’s Day and I was living in the gallery for the duration of the event – we were separated for five days, no communication. So it really hurt her as well, as I guess the news of it traveled through the line. When she came in she asked for an explanation, and I couldn’t speak, so we both sat with this unexplained trauma silently. It was painful.”

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You want a race? Try Steve King’s ‘continental.’

“Get the fuck on the sidewalk” the police officer demanded of Michael Brown. Seconds later, having already been shot, Brown stopped running some 30 feet from where the cruiser was parked. As he turned and faced the policeman, with his hands up, the officer bore down on the unarmed teen and shot him at least twice more, killing him.

Ferguson, Missouri, has been a town racked with anger and protests ever since. It’s been overrun as well with hyper-militarized and indignant police who have been quick to deploy tear gas, rubber bullets and anti-riot tactics to clear the streets of the local vermin:

The tension in a St. Louis suburb following the shooting of an unarmed African-American teenager by a police officer was thrown into stark relief Sunday night in a video captured by CNN of a police officer yelling a derogatory phrase at protesters.

“Bring it, all you fucking animals! Bring it!” the officer said in the exchange.

There are many disturbing facts to come to grips with in the aftermath, beyond the armed cop being white and the unarmed victim black. Though the town is black (67% – 30%), the police force is white (94% – 6%). When the cops stop somebody, 86% of the time it’s a black person. When they search someone, 93% of the time they’re black. When they arrest someone, 93% of the time they’re black, again.

Colonial India was never this badly divided. There’s clearly something wrong with law enforcement in the outlying communities of St. Louis. I’d say if the Congressional Black Caucus didn’t raise the possibility of racist police practices in Ferguson they wouldn’t be minimally doing their jobs.

Now we are seeing reports, some of your colleagues in Washington, the Congressional Black Caucus, writing directly to the Attorney General…apparently concerned about racial profiling in Ferguson, Missouri. Does this help within the investigation…?

A Newsmax reporter asked this of congressman and recurring auditory hallucination Steve King. The paleo-conservative seized upon the opportunity to dismiss the outrageous idea that racism now exists, or has ever existed, in America. King came up with what I can only call a demonstration of right-wing Klingon flabbergast:

“This idea of no [trying to stop] racial profiling. I’ve seen the video. It looks to me like you don’t need to bother with that particular factor because they all appear to be of a single origin. I should say, a continental origin might be the way to phrase that.”

The CBC requested an investigation of police practices in force before the shooting, concerned that profiling could have contributed to Brown’s death. The 18 year-old was inexplicably stopped by police for walking in the street on a Saturday afternoon. But King ignores those worries to address the real ‘problem,’ which is now of course the damned protestors.

And here’s his galactic trump card: “I see from the video the rioters all appear to have come from the same continent. So tell me, where’s the bias?” Anyone? Bueller? “How can the police show any favoritism without a white person being there?” Alright then, I get it now. No one is being singled out. All of the troublemakers are African-American, and they’re all being beaten equally. No one thought a human being could be this big an imbecile but, boy, no one was really wrong.

It is reassuring for some to see the Iowa race wizard undaunted by civilization. King carries on as archetype from the past. I’m not nostalgic for white supremacy so I’m stuck with the realization that people this odious still live among us, in snake-infested shacks, or abandoned tree hollows, or jailhouses this side of the county line. A few of them are politicians.

“I just reject race-based politics, identity politics. I think we’re all God’s children. We all should be held to the same standards and the same level of behavior.”

It’s hard to believe.

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Probably Wingnut of the Year (thx Pajamas Media)

This is how it began.

October 4th, 2013, will forever be known as the day I fell into a giant porn hole.

The fight against perverts in a small library in Illinois.

Imagine my surprise when I took my children for an outing with a friend to the Orland Park Public Library to look at books, surf the web and just have a relaxing afternoon. Instead I discovered an adult “masturbation lounge” lurking within a few hundred feet of the unsuspecting teen area.

This war on obscure biblioteque wankers has become a daily feature at Pajamas Media, delivering a homeschooling mom from the fringes of village crankdom to the bright lights of PJ’s “Lifestyle” section. Ladies and gentleman meet the new sensation… Megan Fox.

No, not that one. This one:

Yes. Until she got hired for the lofty gig at “Voices From a Free America”, where intellectuals like Roger Simon, Roger Kimball and Andrew Klavan hold forth, she was barely an internet presence at all. A few people had seen her at the YouTube channel she dubbed “Story Time with Megan Fox.” There, as “intolerantfox”, she warned parents against buying popular books that were too terribly disgusting for children to read. Here, in the preview for Episode 7, she inveighs against Cristina Garcia’s work:

On this episode of “Story Time with Megan Fox”, we look at the book “Dreaming in Cuban”…another book full of sex, vulgarity, and pro-communist propaganda that is being forced on children via school libraries and assigned reading lists. Do you now what your children are reading?

In the video, she scoffs:

Your first clue that this is not going to be a novel that you want your child to read. The very, very first page is called ‘Ordinary Seductions.’ Do you see that? Ordinary seductions. Right off the bat. Just right there. I didn’t have to go very far, did I, to find inappropriate material? This book is set in Cuba. The main character, there’s four main characters. The first one is Celia, she works for the commies.

She also hosted a heroically obscure site titled of course “Intolerant Fox.” Don’t laugh too loud as it was apparently the blog’s mix of right-wing mommy hectoring and cautionary listicles that scored Megan a mat at PJ’s brain gymnasium:

3 EXCRUCIATING REASONS NOT TO CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE
Posted on September 21, 2013 by Megan Fox

Picture it: You’re on a business trip and that girl from marketing with the low cut blouse is handing you a hotel key and offering a no-strings attached night of heaven and your wife will never find out. Before you make a move, consider the following very good reasons to say no.

3. You could break your penis.

No seriously, you could. There was an actual study done on this.

And so the intellectual right-crowd have a fresh, new voice. Megan Fox:

It’s the latest leg of Megan’s improbable journey that’s particularly fascinating. While checking out scandalous books for her YouTube gig she caught sight of boobs on a user computer. She attacked librarians in outrage. Then she descended upon a library board meeting with Hillbuzz’s Kevin DuJan in tow (who couldn’t be more pissy about library workers’ manners), and then (and crucially) she jimmied her way into the library’s incident reports by way of the Freedom of Information Act.

I would like to briefly note that none of this would have happened if the librarian who rudely chased me out of the children’s area (like an angry ghost haunting the stacks) would have just let me use a computer there like I had very nicely asked. I would have never known about the library’s terrible porn policy (they don’t have one) or about the numerous sex crimes that have occurred there (many, going back years and years). They could have continued catering to pedophiles completely unmolested carefree, but for the rudeness of a single employee, who will be forever be known as Kathy the Library Poltergeist. I would like to take a moment to formally thank this harridan on the taxpayer payroll.

The homeschoolin’ mother of two badly needed a respectable platform from which to take down her neighborhood library, the “PORN AND PERVERTS” clearinghouse. So now it’s Megan’s War that’s prominently featured at Pajamas Media. The cerebellists at PJ Lifestyle being roundly justified in pulling her on board, this week proved to be nothing short of epic. On Monday, she posted this harrowing report (with commentary) from back in early 2007:

This redacted internal “Incident Report” from Orland Park Library details when a man exposed himself to another man in the bathroom.

“While I was standing at the urinal, he came up behind me and said ‘You know they used to have a sign that said all penises hang out here.’ And then he laughed. The man thought [the complainant] was gay. Then he pulled his pants down all the way and went to use the urinal.”

It appears like the person who did this may be mentally disabled or suffer from some other problem, but shouldn’t police have been informed so they could come make sure he was not a threat?

Someone might check if the guy’s in a sanitarium now as it was, you know, years and years ago. On Tuesday, it was this report from October of 2008:

This free and easy access to pornography has led to a sexually charged environment in which many illegal sex acts occurred where police presence was needed. In this part of the continuing investigation into Orland Park Public Library’s dangerous policies that allow sex offenders to watch pornography unfettered, I report how internal documents were recovered that indicated staff also have let several crimes go unreported to police. The following is one of the reports.

“Patron was using a computer upstairs in the IT commons. She said the patron next to her was rubbing his lower area. She told XXXXX about this. He was still there. He had IT staff move patron to another computer.”

Can’t swing a dead cat in this orgy without clotting a freak. Could the perversions be any more sensational? I’m not sure, walk me back to the computer where I started. On Wednesday, Megan posted this report from August 2009:

The following internal “Incident Report” reveals that a man was witnessed “fully exposed” and masturbating. A staff member of Orland Park Public Library tells him he will be “banned from the library on second occurrence.” (Emphasis mine.)

“Patron may have exposed himself to other patron.

Spoke with person – advised he would be banned from the library on second occurrence.”

To be honest, that might have been disturbing. If it happened. It might even be more disturbing if it had happened to Megan. Nonetheless chalk a penis up for Pajamas Media. What the hell give one to Vodka Pundit too, we’re in a holiday mood. Now that’s it’s Thursday of course, we have another incident from two years ago:

In today’s revelations of what is going on over at the Orland Park Public Library, we have a document written by Library Director Mary Weimar in response to a mother who complained about a very suspicious person.

“She said she was sitting on the lobby bench closest to the Lucky Dog collection. When her 6 yr. old daughter came up to her, the teenage boy on the bench next to her asked her how old her daughter was, ‘said she was a cutie’ then touched himself.”

To summarize, a mother with three children just coming out of story time was asked by a teenager how old her 6 year old was. When she told him, he said ‘she’s a cutie’ and touched himself in front of the child.

To summarize, a fifteen year-old may have touched his body while saying “cutie.” Though I could be playing the incident down somewhat, as teenage pedophiles are probably dumb enough to yank their cranks at the library. I can’t imagine why the police weren’t summoned immediately. Why wasn’t the poor kid inevitably and permanently horrified at the idea of casual conversation, angry mommies, libraries specifically and Orland Park in general? For the rest of his life?

Well now. None of that matters, because we’re talking about public boobs here. On a library computer, in Cook County, Illinois. And we’re talking about such atrocities because book-hating homeschooler Megan Fox saw them. If on that account the white knights at Pajamas Media can’t turn Orland Park upside down, by way of old paperwork, then what the hell good is the First Amendment?

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Having great fun with deceased teens and gay rapists

Rachel Jeantal, witness for the prosecution of George Zimmerman, sat down with Piers Morgan Monday night. She said Trayvon Martin feared that Zimmerman was some sort of sexual predator.

Asked whether there was any doubt in her mind as to whether Martin “absolutely believed” Zimmerman was “pursuing him” that evening in 2012, Jeantel replied in the affirmative. He was “freaked out” about it, she said, especially after she had suggested to the late teenager that Zimmerman “might be a rapist” . .

Jeantel continued: “You have to take it as a parent, when you tell your child, you see a grown person following you, run away, and all that. You going to tell your child stand there? If you tell your child stand there, then you’re going to see your child on the news for missing person.”

To right-wingers this is the perfect storm. Black kids, rapists and fags all rolled up into a single mock-tastic scenario, with the punk getting blown way. The American Thinker:

If George Zimmerman had been black, we would have known nothing about Trayvon Martin’s decision to initiate a surprise attack in the dark, thinking he could easily injure or kill George Zimmerman, whose crime up to that point was being a “creepy-ass cracka” who followed Martin as a potential homosexual predator, as Rachel Jeantel told him just prior to his death. Was Martin’s attack on Zimmerman and anti-gay hate crime?

Wasn’t it then Zimmerman who got profiled? He was your typical pansy, armed only with a Kel-Tec semi-auto and a neighborhood crush. Althouse:

Call out the gay rights activists. In this interpretation, it was a gay-bashing!

Laffs! Beating up a rapist. You’ll make Elton John cry! The Florida Boar:

Rush Limbaugh offered additional commentary in the second hour of his syndicated radio program this afternoon, saying, “I have offered a viewpoint of what Rachel Jeantel said that the left does not want out there.”

This coming from the august National Review.

He added: “. . she did allude to the homosexual aspect of this [during the trial]; but you know, if I really wanted to stir it up, I would make the case that it was Zimmerman’s civil rights that got violated. Here you’ve got Zimmerman, a properly accredited neighborhood-watch captain, or whatever his title was . . . and you’ve got this guy beating up on him because he thinks he’s gay. I mean that sounds like a civil rights violation to me!”

If Trayvon could only come back from the dead as a Pakistani Taliban. They could drone-strike him with a Zimmerman Missile and ha-har! themselves into a massive stroke.

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