You mean a woman. For president?

Someone has got a nasty case of the Hillary vapors, but it’s no big deal. Certainly Andrew Klavan would be doing this even if he weren’t getting paid. Hell he’s probably been doing this since that snooty negress sat right down behind the bus driver. The rest of us figure it’s too early to bother with who’ll be president in 2020, but Klavan confronts us with a little what-if and so we play along. Whatcha thinkin’ there, Andude?

Holy crap man, just imagine (…is what he thinks). I mean jeez if we’re – try to stay with me here, this gets real crazy I know – gonna go soft and elect a female president, then what the hell and why not? Why not have Jessica Simpson sitting in the Oval Office? Why not have Tawny Kitaen telling Congress what to do? Why not have Pia Zadora starting a nuclear war? Think of all the possibilities.

1. Zooey Deschanel: Don’t you think? She’s so cute and zany. She’s female. …those adorable bangs would enliven any press conference.

Just like Clinton, she’s female. But her forehead is festooned with the come-hither hairlets and Andrew really loves him a boner. Can’t tell you how very much unlike Shrillery she is, with those dreaded high harpy locks. Not a single time has Andy been driven to public masturbation while watching one of her press conferences. Teh sadz.

2. Scarlett Johansson: Female; better than Obama. And, I mean, if we’re going to have a woman president why not a What-A-Woman President? Va-va-va-voom, am I right, boys?

Female; better than Obama. This is the place where I ask you honestly whether or not you get the joke. Just in case Andrew happens to be reading – female huh?! Get it?! And do you want Scarlett Johansson’s vagina, or what?!

3. Lucille Ball: Female; better than Obama; and dead, so she can’t do any damage.

Still can’t parallel park a car either. zing.

4. Taraji P. Henson: As someone who opposes racism, I’ve worried that…

…in case you thought Andrew was somehow some sort of asshole, watch him namecall a full-blown Unterperson. Dig yourselves a black woman whom of course every hooded Baptist and Pat Buchanan delegate loves and respects. Hey we’re only talking shop here, folks. And you can say the name ‘Taraji’ aloud and render Bill Buckley’s sphincter unto the quantum mechanical world, so we have ourselves a sort of victory. Seriously, nice going Bitchhate.


Allen West on the greatness of an anonymous black man’s meaningless death

…and there he was with his eyes rolled back in his head, turning circles on the living room floor while his favorite Simple Minds song played on the radio. When somehow a white cop shot down another black man but this time it was on camera.

You just have to wonder how long the media and black activists will try and milk this one in a case where the justice system clearly worked.

Sweet justice. How gratifying it is to see the Supreme Court flush out that one rotten American policeman and throw him in the slammer. Now will Jane Fonda only shut the hell up? OOH NOO she’s going to go on and on about it. She’s going to say the only thing that ‘clearly worked’ was a bystander’s cellphone. She’s going to say all the other rotten policemen don’t care. She’s going to say the chance of this peace officer getting convicted of homicide in South Carolina is the same as a snowball getting a fire insurance policy in hell. Really what a tireless bitch.

So there will be no need for protests and Al Sharpton making a trip for some shrimp and grits.

No no, it’s alright folks. This is Allen West and seriously he is “black.”

This is a time where we can turn this tragedy into triumph. It’s a time when we can turn the page and not proliferate a victim mentality but advance the spirit of victors.

Everybody altogether: WALTER’S FREAKING DEAD and WE WON. I can’t help but feel that if the exact same cop had shot Terri Schiavo eight times in the back there would be little to cheer about. There would more likely be a civil war and Allen B. Bannerquote STEADFAST AND LOYAL would never ever surrender.


Please take my hand, bomb Iran

You Never Take My Warheads Anywhere…

Of all the midwiving of cows in the wake of Obama’s negotiating with/hand-jobbing Iran this one takes the cake:

Barack Obama is for the 300 million souls of the United States what Andreas Lubitz was for the 150 souls on the German Wings flight – a deranged pilot flying his entire nation into the rocks.

300 million souls dashed upon the rocks of, um, America. I oughta be shit-scared but I’m just not there.

After the fact, among the smoldering remains of American cities, the shocked survivors will ask, why did he do it?

They won’t ask “WHAT THE HELL?” No they’ll ask “He just let them fire a million missiles at us? Oh, why?” Madame du Bovine Orbs has a firm grasp on human behavior, if hands can be likened to slithery seaweed. Why Iran would skip right past the local nuclear power Israel and attack the global nuclear power America is a headscratcher. And who knew they had so many satellite-guided transcontinental lasersharks? Don’t look at me, I’m going beer drinking.

This Free Beacon critique is salted with a little less Armageddon and a little more treason:

Benghazi, Bergdahl, and the Bomb

The title alone is pretty good. John Boehner could scrawl it on an impeachment indictment and get back to his broom closet in time for happy hour.

Column: President Obama’s stories haven’t held up before. How is the Iran deal any different?

That part is killer. This nuclear proliferation treaty is just another one of the president’s tales oh, of course it is. John Kerry regaled the Iranians with a few of Barack’s golf stories, then followed that up with a long run of his basketball yarns. But it wasn’t until the eleventh hour when they heard about the dead seal on the beach that they caved. “The president looked down and poked it with a stick, and then the flies began buzzing everywhere…” That’s when the head of Iran’s emerging technologies sector went “OOOOOH” and it was all over. This is not an accomplishment to be sneezed at, frankly, given these people are familiar with all Thousand and One Arabian Nights.

Anyway, to the point:

…was attacked on September 11, 2012. Four Americans were killed, including our ambassador. Obama delivered remarks on the attack in the Rose Garden the following day. “No acts of terror will ever shake the resolve of this great nation,” he said. What he didn’t say was that the killings in Benghazi specifically were a “terrorist attack” or “terrorism.”

See how that works? You are quite seriously to take the argument that if Obama had previously said not “acts of terror” but “terrorist attack” the discerning skeptic would be put at ease and welcome this compact. Or if the president had said not “Bowe Bergdahl is the handsomest patriot ever and I mean to have his assbabies” but “We will court-martial this soldier for desertion and misbehavior before the enemy and sentence him to life in prison” then any treaty would be reasonable and fine. You talk about your handjobs, sheesh.


Private minds humiliate gays, in public

Dateline: Los Angeles. I’ve been hacking away at work, but surprisingly there’s been some sort of roiling controversy elsewhere. I just read Kevin Williamson’s “The War on the Private Mind.”

There are three problems with rewarding those who use accusations of bigotry as a political cudgel. First, those who seek to protect religious liberties are not bigots, and going along with false accusations that they are makes one a party to a lie.

That sounds plenty First-Amendment-fierce and everything but then I see…

…the lobbyists who pushed hardest for last year’s gay marriage ban — Micah Clark of the American Family Association of Indiana, Curt Smith of the Indiana Family Institute and Eric Miller of Advance America — were among the 70 to 80 guests invited to the private bill signing.

…the bigots in their full dress unis. No, you can’t take that away from me. And doesn’t a “private bill signing” send the wrong message to the country? Let’s see the American Family Association stand shoulder to shoulder with the Governor and make their case for conditional brotherhood and Christian apartheid. If we’ve been gagging their Free Speech, let’s hear it. Instead, the Governor has given us only paltry press coverage and puny explanations. I think an issue this close to his heart deserves better.

Second, it is an excellent way to lose political contests, since there is almost nothing — up to and including requiring algebra classes — that the Left will not denounce as bigotry.

Ronald Reagan famously denounced the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King as a communist. Which is why Kevin will agree that St. Ronnie spouted even more fantastic lies about the Soviet Union.

Third, and related, it encourages those who cynically deploy accusations of bigotry for their own political ends.

Just forget that you’re reading the National Review – IF YOU AGREE WITH LIBERALS YOU’VE GONE POLITICAL. And please take it for granted that evangelical Christianity is a fundament of life, like cool water, or fresh oxygen. A staple of American vitality, like Geritol, or capital punishment.


Todd Kincannon’s Family Values Sext Penis

Now that we know South Carolina Republican badass Todd Kincannon is more than a spineless troll who only threatens women on Twitter, or merely says he wants to cornhole their sisters, or offhandedly anoints them with nicknames like ‘Crabby Cunt’, now that we know he beats his wife scary silly and then promises to kill her – and kill himself – if she speaks a word of his criminal desperation to anyone, it’s probably a good time to tell you that the Toddster has long been in the habit of sending those same women pictures of his penis.

wife beaters dick

You can see that Todd is one cracking top-notch lawyer. Anyone who could draw up such a court-worthy digital filth agreement would have to be, right? Friends, if you simply cannot help yourself and must witness Todd’s POV dong, feel free to click on the image. You will be whisked away to conservablog ‘The Trenches’, where they will have the full sexting story.

kincannon send me nudes dammit

Otherwise may it suffice to say that Todd’s fragile world is ruled by nameless women who refuse to take their clothes off, which is why they’re worthy of his abuse.


Todd Kincannon’s Family Values

Like, a terrible shock.

kincannon licks

Really. Of all the people, hooda thunk that Todd Kincannon would beat his wife?

Ashely continued to tell me after leaving the work function, James [nomme de wingnutte: James John Todd Kincannon] began screaming at Ashely while they drove in their car. Ashely told James to let her out of their car to which he refused. Ashely proceeded to roll down the window and scream for James to let her out, hoping a bystander would call 9-1-1.

Yeah, that’s probably not going to stop him.

kincannon janay palmer

Ashley continued to tell me she called her mother for help and attempted to call 9-1-1 with an open line in order for the dispatcher to hear James. While driving, James saw a police vehicle and ‘freaked out.’ James threatened he would drive the car into a concrete barrier if the cops became involved. In addition, James also threatened to kill himself if Ashely left.

Threatened to kill the Toddster? Get in line, pal. Oh NO I mean, uhh, dear me…

Ashely continued to tell me James has made several threats in the past to kill himself, her, and her family. Furthermore, Ashely said she has past incidents of domestic violence and threats of homicide/suicide recorded. I saw no visible injuries to Ashely, she provided me with a written statement, and was issued a victim’s pamphlet. It should be noted Ashely was trembling as she wrote her statement.

Todd’s poor wife [nomme de Stepford: Ashely Suzanne Griffith Kincannon. Quote: 'Wife. Christian. South Carolinian.' BOOM.] also mentioned this: “…they ‘have a history of unreported domestic violence.’ She said she was ‘extremely fearful’ of Kincannon and described him as being ‘extremely traditional’ and controlling…” Just the BIGGEST of surprises, huh?

kincannon fuck your sister

But The Toddinator had a perfectly good explanation:

I was diagnosed … with an allergic reaction to Benzonatate. Apparently a very small percentage of people go absolutely nuts when they take the stuff, and I’m apparently in that very small percentage.

Thoroughly plausible. He’s a criminal misogynist and creep because of some cough suppressant.


Gilding the Galileos

As we know there are known knowns. We also know there are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know. And if one looks throughout the history of our country and other free countries, it is the latter category that tend to be the difficult ones.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you…Ted Cruz.

On the global warming alarmists, anyone who actually points to the evidence that disproves their apocalyptical claims, they don’t engage in reasoned debate.

Trailing the candidate, you see a looming infinity of blackness that Ted deigns to call ‘climate denial evidence.’ And from hell’s heart he stabs at thee, with his finger, but then are any of the quote-unquote scientists impressed? Do they fall on their asses like a bunch of acorn-humping squirrels struck by sheet lightning? Nope.

Today, the global warming alarmists are the equivalent of the flat-Earthers. It used to be [that] it is accepted scientific wisdom the Earth is flat, and this heretic named Galileo was branded a denier.

He’s really slingin’ some bullshit. Stephen Jay Gould:

…there never was a period of ‘flat earth darkness’ among scholars (regardless of how the public at large may have conceptualized our planet both then and now). Greek knowledge of sphericity never faded, and all major medieval scholars accepted the Earth’s roundness as an established fact of cosmology.

There were people who believed the Flat Earth canard, but they weren’t the scientists of the world. They were the philosophers, priests, historians and everyday fools. To say that it was “scientific wisdom” is to say the one thing we know to be false.

Oh, and of course Galileo had nothing to do with any of it. By his time, the idea was long-since dead. Instead to his credit, and his misfortune, he supported Copernicus’ view that the Earth revolved around the sun. But you know hey whatever man, old scientists and famous controversies. Did somebody say this Cruz guy was a debate champion? He’s a stupid git. If being dead wrong were the Olympics, snootface would be on a Wheaties cover.

The newly announced GOP presidential candidate told David Brody, of the Christian Broadcasting Network, that religious conservatives must take back their political dominance, reported Right Wing Watch.

More Cruz rhetoric? Sure.

“This country remains a country, I believe, grounded in values, grounded in faith, but far too many Christians have ceded the public arena to people who aren’t believers,” Cruz said.

Look what happened to Hollywood, for example. Not long ago the atheists had only begun to make movies of their own. The features were heathen farces, typically built around million year-old dinosaurs come back to life, or prostitutes with hearts of gold. No one thought much about it because they certainly weren’t profitable or popular, but they were eagerly received by beatnik professors and Russian poets. And because of the sway those folks held over your children – well, you remember what happened next…



On the 2016 climate deniers

Media critic and NYU journalism prof Jay Rosen (and offhand namer of names): “Journalists have to decide what to do about candidates who are climate change denialists.” He takes note of the New York Times:

We have made a conscious decision that we are not going to take that point of view seriously. …That the Times had made an exception [to both-siderism] in the case of climate change denialism was welcome news, an important development, but as soon as I saw Adam Bryant’s statement, I thought: Let’s wait for the 2016 campaign. Then we’ll see.

As of yesterday we have the first presidential candidate, Ted Cruz. We have the official start of the 2016 campaign, and we have someone who will bullshit everybody about perhaps the greatest challenge to ever face humanity. So it’s all begun.

And he won’t be the only liar. Here are your Republican contenders:

(1) Flat-Earthers, who deny the existence of manmade climate change; (2) Born-Again Flat-Earthers, who do the same, but who had admitted climate change exists back before President Obama took office; (3) Do-Nothings, who sort of admit the reality of climate change but oppose actually taking any steps to prevent it; and (4) Dodgers, who have avoided saying whether they believe climate change is happening, and who also don’t want to take any steps to alleviate it.

Rosen comes up with a plan. Here are 4 ways a ‘journalist’ can deal with denialism:

1. Normalize it: treat denialist claims like any other campaign position…
2. Savvy analysis: is denialism a winning move or is it costing the candidate?…
3. Persistence: Call it what it is — a rejection of the science — and keep calling it that…
4. Confrontation: Try to raise the costs of denialism….

What to do? All four paths have problems. In my view 2.) is the worst option, 1.) is not much better, 3.) is probably the best choice, but that doesn’t mean it will make a difference, and 4.) is the riskiest but might be a worth a try.

Rosen’s take is well worth your time. As for Ted Cruz

…I just came back from New Hampshire where there’s snow and ice everywhere. And my view actually is simple. Debates on this should follow science and should follow data. And many of the alarmists on global warming, they’ve got a problem because the science doesn’t back them up. And in particular, satellite data demonstrate for the last 17 years there’s been zero warming, none whatsoever.

Ann Althouse found the time to take in Cruz’s campaign kickoff speech, and she was duly impressed.

ADDED: Let the record show, that at 4:58, I cried.


You sound like you’re going to buy a pony. Promise me you won’t.


First he comes for the banks and health care, uses the IRS to go after critics, politicizes the Justice Department, spies on journalists, tries to curb religious freedom, slashes the military, throws open the borders, doubles the debt and nationalizes the Internet.

He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers.

He lies to the public, ignores the Constitution, inflames race relations and urges Latinos to punish Republican “enemies.” He abandons our ­allies, appeases tyrants, coddles ­adversaries and uses the Crusades as an excuse for inaction as Islamist terrorists slaughter their way across the Mideast.

Now he’s coming for Israel.


Apu's lament

…there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had.


Bleat bleat go the robo-children

World renowned child development experts Dolce and Gabbana – on the attack.

“We oppose gay adoptions. The only family is the traditional one.” They also criticized in vitro fertilization and surrogate parents by saying, “No chemical offspring and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed.”

This is just in case you thought, “I wonder what the 10th Mountain Silk And Taffeta Division think of my kids.” Go on, read it and weep:

“You are born to a mother and a father — or at least that’s how it should be. I call children of chemistry, synthetic children.”

I defy Dolce and/or Gabbana to pore over, sniff up and down, prod or paw at any newborn child and then declare to the world exactly how it was conceived. Good luck geniuses. The denigration of their fellow human beings is classic bigotry. Because they’re uncomfortable with IVF technology, they spout half-baked ideas about mercenary uteruses and chemical embryos when all we’re really talking about is “human biology.” You ought to know better, you two born-gay dicks. Oh look, cyborgs can talk.

Speaking as two donor-conceived young women—alive because of reproductive technologies—we felt an urgent need to respond…in support of Dolce and Gabbana.

Friends, my name is Foghorn Leghorn. And I’d like a minute of your time to tell you about the hard workin’ folks over at Foster Farms…

Those of us conceived non-traditionally are full human beings with equal capacity in every regard—no one need question our humanity. It is not our individual, case-by-case worth as humans that is debatable; rather, it is how we value human beings in general that warrants discussion.

Let’s discuss whether “synthetic children” are properly valued in this world. Seems to me their remarkable existence answers the question. That is, until some asshole declares that they’re all fakes, and then people like you step in to pretend there’s a great philosophical quandary behind the insult.

Has anyone asked [Elton] John for how much he purchased his kids? How much money he and Furnish paid the boy’s genetic and birth mother for their absence and invisibility?

How much money did your mom and dad pay the hospital, huh? GOTCHA! God knows that natural pork-style babies don’t cost anything at all. And throwing yourself one of those “shower” thingies isn’t for defraying any sort of insane costs, it’s for drowning your kid in a bucket of warm water while everybody stands around and cheers – saving yourself millions and millions of dollars.

I (Alana) remember when I was in school and I told my then-best friend the truth about my conception. When our friendship frayed, as tween friendships do, she released my secret as gossip—invisible, quiet, and as poisonous as carbon monoxide fumes—and I became the “test-tube girl.” The label was humiliating.

…which may have something to do with why that nasty little bitch – hup, I mean Domenico Dolce – still gets my wounded respect. And you can untie my hands and remove the ballgag now, I promise I won’t say a word.

And I (Hattie) have undergone a strikingly similar experience; my mother informed me of my true parentage when I was 14, and it was, as they say, irrevocable.

Now I can never go back to the lie! Sniff, bastards.

My mother’s then-husband had waited until they divorced to permit her to tell me, and the revelation of his not being my biological father clarified an overwhelming amount of issues between us. For a multitude of reasons—his background, my personality and beliefs, our lack of biological connection—the cards were stacked against our having a conventional, loving father-daughter relationship. And we didn’t.

We had a bad relationship. Then I found out he wasn’t my dad, and that’s when I knew it was all my fault. Do natural children ever feel this way, or is it only something that comes with being synthetic? See if you can find anything in the engineering section by Judy Blume.


Ben Carson is not ready for primetime

The wingnut select committee for Shining Up Cruddy Presidential Candidates keeps a spacious oak-paneled room at the National Review. And the high-salary flacks spend plenty of their time and energy there. But occasionally, while the Goldbergs and the Lowrys are painstakingly finishing off a Cruz or a Fiorina in high-gloss greasepaint and grey eminince, some poor fool walks by and pops his head in. And he wonders ‘huh’? And then he reaches in to flick the switch, the house lights come on and the view isn’t very pretty.

What do you consider to be their tap root? What is the origin of their rage in your view?

Like when somebody asks Ben Carson about Al Qaeda.

First of all you have to recognize they go back thousands and thousands of years. Really back to the battle between Jacob and Esau.

They go back thousands of years, before Islam. Huh? Well if you simply have to be stupid, you might as well be Christian about it. Re-casting terrorism in Biblical terms will certainly make the holyrollers even more willing to jump into the Middle East and die for your cause. Remembering how the parable – sorry, the cinema vérité – recounts Jacob conning Esau out of his birthright and laying claim to Isaac’s cash and sheep, the cause has a familiar name and address.

Genesis 35:10

God said to him, “Your name is Jacob, but you will no longer be called Jacob; your name will be Israel.” So he named him Israel.

Ben no doubt figures Arabs are always pissed off and penniless because of God and old stupid Esau. Then again, maybe it was because E had a little thing for the Hittite ladies. Against a backdrop of our post-modern mores, that’s like Pat Buchanan going swing dancing with the Negresses downtown.

But it has been a LAND issue for a very long period of time. POSSESSION is very important to them.

I haven’t noticed Al Qaeda putting down any roots. Haven’t seen them building any roads or aqueducts, or a Versailles in the wilds of Yemen. They look more like a bunch of mangy cavedwellers, sneaking around and trying to blow up your natural gas facilities. Like a bunch of terrorists.

…they’re creating an Islamic state. And we can bomb it all we want but unless we actually can take the land back we’re not really doing them any damage.

And the Islamic states already in existence? How much longer must we tolerate them? This is your last warning, Oman. Don’t think we haven’t noticed, Qatar. How much longer will Saudi Arabia be allowed to thumb its nose at us? Or continue to pray toward Mecca?

…our biggest enemies are the group motivated by, that have sprung out of the Sunni radicals. That would be ISIS. And you know, there are a number of sponsored terrorist groups that emanate from the Shiia, which are based primarily in Iran. … But in the long run, I think they would gladly unite against us in their attempt to destroy the United States, our way of life, and Israel.

I don’t think a Republican sex dream gets any wetter than that. Two Muslim factions that have been butchering each other for centuries, they’re going to kiss and make up over the prospect of raiding Vermont. This is altogether likely. Texas and Oklahoma please debate this topic for my edification while I take cover.

Hewitt bonus: Wingnut calendar pinup/night terror Vlade Putin.

The Baltic states are very nervous, and we have troops in the Baltic states. …should we have that sort of commitment, that if Putin makes a move on the Baltic states, we’d go to war?

Send the Marines to Northern Europe. Ben?

Well, if we have them involved in NATO. We need to convince them to get involved in NATO and strengthen NATO.

Estonia: NATO member since 2004. And I’d just bought Ben a Foreign Policy For Dummies, shoot. As Hewitt nears the end of the interview, he admits to being nervous about the candidate because, well, idiot. Hugh predicts that he’s going to get the Sarah Palin treatment. Ben:

…we spend too much time trying to get into these little details that are easily within the purview of the experts that you have available to you… I could spend, you know, the next six years learning all the details of all the SALT treaties and every other treaty that’s ever been done and completely miss the boat.

When I offer to put the Baltic NATO states into NATO, you should look at that in a “Big Picture” way. As in: My administration is trying to do something nice here. Then you get what I mean.


Hail Saturday Morning and War With Iran

My oh me isn’t this WaPo editorial burning up the internet:

The Iranian regime that Netanyahu described so vividly — violent, rapacious, devious and redolent with hatred for Israel and the United States — is bound to continue its quest for nuclear weapons by refusing any “good deal” or by cheating.

This gives force to the Obama administration’s taunting rejoinder: What is Netanyahu’s alternative? War?

‘Netanyahu’s alternative’…as if. ‘War’ to Bibi is what ‘fresh carrots’ are to Bugs Bunny. You might remember him, the lovable screwball who walks around with a giant mallet in his pocket because he’s not much for playing nice. The rabbit is another deal.

This gives force to the Obama administration’s taunting rejoinder: What is Netanyahu’s alternative? War? But the administration’s position also contains a glaring contradiction.

Prepare for glaring, as to be outrageous.

National security adviser Susan Rice declared at an American Israel Public Affairs Committee conference before Netanyahu’s speech that “a bad deal is worse than no deal.” So if Iran will accept only a “bad deal,” what is President Obama’s alternative? War?

‘Contradiction’ still can’t be found anywhere near ‘opinion’ in the dictionary, but OH NO! War is Obama’s only alternative. This turns us to the serious question: Should we avoid It? Taking into account the soon-to-be death of my neighbor, and his neighbor, and such, I say ‘yes.’ We should avoid It.

But of course I am a idiot. These people are but the really smart ones, and for not better – and for worse – they have perspicacious proposals they simply must propose. Like this one here: How about the other alternative? You know, as in…YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

Does this mean that our only option is war? Yes…

There you have it. Questions, anyone?

Wouldn’t an attack cause ordinary Iranians to rally behind the regime? Perhaps, but military losses have also served to undermine regimes…

Jeepers I wonder. What would happen if Russia attacked Oklahoma, perhaps? What about it? Would Americans rally behind the Obama regime, with their Marines and their tanks and stuff? Yeh I think, perhaps. Maybe, perhaps, some rednecks would also take out their rifles, and mortars and flamethrowers and Serbian long cannons, and fight back. But Over There, I’m sure it’s completely different. I’m betting the Iranians would just lay down and welcome dying. Because it’s America invading after all, and really who wouldn’t want that? Incidentally: In total war one country conquers the other, and then (tiptoeing between the corpses) the losers are forced to do the winners will. Just thought I’d flesh out the WaPo argument for you.

Wouldn’t destroying much of Iran’s nuclear infrastructure merely delay its progress? Perhaps, but we can strike as often as necessary.

Post 9/11 America to the max! We’ll start a war every eighteen months, roughly whenever PBS airs a new episode of Downton Abbey. Will the forsaken Molesley rise above his lowly station? Will the acerbic dowager betray Edith’s awful secret? Wait – modern drama intervenes! It’s War In The Middle East XIV. Tell me: Does Iran have a nuclear bomb? Do they even want one? No one cares! Subtlety makes for crappy ratings!

Yes, there are risks to military action. But Iran’s nuclear program and vaunting ambitions have made the world a more dangerous place. Its achievement of a bomb would magnify that danger manyfold. Alas, sanctions and deals will not prevent this.

Daaanger. DAAANGER. Because nothing is worse than the threat of war, let’s have it.

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