Cialis fr

Where Krauthammer embraces SCIENCE to prove SCIENCE is stoopid

C'mon help ol' Gil out here...

Charles Krauthammer has become so venerable a figure on the right that he seems to have been promoted into permanent status. A man with an endless gig. So should Obama proclaim an ‘I Like Ants’ day of observance, the Conservatives Fighting Ants lobby will flash-publish a couple magazines, one featuring a scowling Krauthammer on the cover and the other highlighting his page-one screed. As far as they’re concerned he probably knows more about Theoretical Physics than even bugs, so Chuck’s a no-brainer here.

Climate Science. National Review. Along came Jones.

“The debate is settled,” asserted propagandist-in-chief Barack Obama in his latest State of the Union address. “Climate change is a fact.” Really? There is nothing more anti-scientific than the very idea that science is settled, static, impervious to challenge.

This is Krauthammer’s gig: Blinding brilliance. What’s crystal clear he holds up to the light like tarmacadam. We know the world is warming and that there are fundamental forces involved in driving this disaster, and we know what these are, and they come without controversy among scientists. But Chuck will have you know: The latest fine-scale modeling is in dispute. This is interesting to him. He will ignore that though the Theory of Gravity was tinkered with today it was not rendered as to make his furniture float to the ceiling. SCIENCE goes on like this, with the fundamental understanding of a thing in place and the details being moved around. Rather than pay heed to any of that, Krauthammer reads USA Today.

It was long assumed that mammograms help reduce breast cancer deaths. This fact was so settled that Obamacare requires every insurance plan to offer mammograms (for free, no less).

Now we learn from a massive randomized study — 90,000 women followed for 25 years — that mammograms may have no effect on breast-cancer deaths. Indeed, one out of five of those diagnosed by mammogram receives unnecessary radiation, chemo, or surgery.

Now he’s learned from a study. You know how trustworthy those are. He’s also a cheerleader for evolution and a referee for the math decathlon. *cough* Chuck fingers the bottom of his mighty scabbard to find enough SCIENCE to fell the SCIENCE of cancer screening. Then he wields the same dagger to dispense with all of Global Warming going back, what, a hundred years?

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This week’s #2 lesson in gun safety

lessons in gun safety

For this week’s second lesson in how obviously safe guns are and how clearly responsible gun owners can be we travel to Macomb County, Michigan. Where we defer to firearms safety officer and UAW Vice President General Holiefield.

The report was released today, a day after Holiefield pleaded no contest to reckless use of a firearm.

Holiefield, 60, told police he was sitting at the kitchen table the night of Dec. 30 and his wife, Monica Morgan, was to his left when the gun went off and she screamed…

One of the witnesses was sitting to Holiefield’s right cleaning his own gun when he heard a bang. They’d been at a shooting range in Roseville earlier, ate at a restaurant and attended a funeral together [ed.: really?].

He looked up and heard Holiefield say, “Oh, my God. What did I do?” the report said.

Does this make Holiefield the first man ever to hit the afternoon funeral/shooting range/emergency room trifecta? Don’t be silly. In Florida they call that ‘Founders Day.’

The man, whose name was redacted in the report, called 911. When police arrived, Morgan, 50, was lying on her right side on the floor, and Holiefield was kneeling at her back applying pressure to her wound, the report said.

She had been shot in the stomach…

Holiefield said he’d cleaned two guns already, picked up a third and was bringing the slide back to make sure it was safe to start cleaning it, according to his interview.

From this we once again conclude: The more guns you have, the safer your wife is.

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This week’s lesson in gun safety

lessons in gun safety

For this week’s lesson in how obviously safe guns are and how clearly responsible gun owners can be we travel to Oakland County, Michigan. Where we defer to firearms safety officer Thirty Six Year-Old Man.

“The live-in girlfriend stated the victim had been drinking most of the day,” sheriff’s officials said in a statement Monday. “He began instructing her on how to use his three handguns and demonstrating how safe they were when they are empty. Subject did this by placing the handguns against his head and pulling the trigger. After doing this twice the subject was demonstrating a third handgun when the gun discharged striking the subject in the head.”

Medics pronounced the 36-year-old man dead at the scene. Sheriff’s officials said his girlfriend was performing CPR when help arrived.

From this we once again conclude: The more guns you have, the safer you are.

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Only in Texas could Ted Nugent be an attorney general’s friend

it's texas, jerks

The Texas A.G. and The Nuge:

Rocker Ted Nugent and Attorney General Greg Abbott, the presumed GOP nominee for governor, praised each other as fighters for freedom at a Tuesday campaign event…

Nugent called Abbott “the epitome of what our founding fathers wanted as a representative of ‘we the people,’” and said Abbott has an understanding of individual rights and has fought “the enemies of these freedoms.” He introduced Abbott as “my friend” and “my blood brother.”

Abbott called Nugent “a fighter for freedom in this country.”

What a strange pair. Sure they’re both far right-wing narcissists with designs to conquer the world. Both have their eyes on the White House, unlikely as that destination seems for either one. In those ways they’re much alike.

But it’s not from ambitions we draw any contrast here. What makes them an odd couple is the difference between who they appear to be. The Texas Attorney General is a pillar of law enforcement and Ted Nugent is a miscreant.

Here’s Abbott on Abbott, from his website:

A husband and father, Greg Abbott understands the importance of preserving Constitutional, traditional values – like faith, family and freedom for future generations. That’s why as the state’s chief law enforcement official, Abbott has made protecting children, families and values the focus of his administration.

Shortly after taking office, Attorney General Abbott established a Cyber Crimes Unit to arrest criminals who use the Internet to prey upon children; a Fugitive Unit to arrest convicted sex offenders who violate their parole; and an expanded Medicaid Fraud Control Unit to crack down on elder abuse and waste of taxpayer dollars. Since taking office, General Abbott has collected more than $28 billion in child support for Texas children.

Here he sings his own praises in a 2010 campaign ad:

“He’s arrested more criminals than any Texas attorney general, including thousands of child predators and sex offenders…”

And now here is Greg’s good buddy, Uncle Ted:

He lambastes drug users and alcohol drinkers, but repeatedly admits (without a trace of humility, however) to being a serial pedophile.

In 1978:

Seventeen-year-old Hawaii native Pele Massa was too young to marry Nugent. So Nugent made an agreement with the girl’s parents to become her legal guardian. This was rated #63 on Spin magazine’s “100 Sleaziest Moments in Rock” list.

Legally sanctioned pedophilia. I wonder why that hasn’t caught on? Also this:

Courtney Love phoned into the Howard Stern Show on Monday before eventually coming into the studio where she made the shocking allegation that one of the first times she had oral sex was with Ted Nugent. She said she was young and she didn’t want to say exactly how old she was, but eventually confessed she was 12-year-old — which would have made Nugent approximately 28 years old at the time.

If Nugent weren’t Abbott’s sixty-something pal he might have ended up in a 30-second ad for the AG. Cue scary music: And Greg Abbott stopped a child molester’s lurid scheme to take legal possession of a minor. Presumably this would only happen after Abbott found the time to make such a pitch, in between campaign stops with a creep.

More on children, again via Abbott’s website:

Attorney General Greg Abbott has set a record for the most child support collected by any state in history.

Since Abbott took office as attorney general in 2002, he has collected more than $27 billion through his office’s Child Support Division.

“Efficient, effective child support collections help ensure that young Texans have the resources they need to grow healthy and strong. Thanks to the hard work and dedication of Child Support Division employees, child support collections continue to increase in the State of Texas. This success not only helps children all across the state, but it also ensures that parents – not the taxpayers – financially support their children.” –Attorney General Greg Abbott

And more on Ted Nugent, with respect to his attitude towards children:

He has had two wives and has eight children, including three out of wedlock [ed. note: for a total of five] in two liaisons almost 30 years apart. In the late 1960s, prior to his first marriage, Nugent fathered a boy, Ted (Mann) and a girl, whom he gave up for adoption in infancy. This did not become public knowledge until 2010…In 2005 Nugent was involved in a legal battle for not paying enough child support for a child he had out of wedlock in 1995.[It was finally resolved when Nugent was ordered to pay $3,500 in child support.]

Fellow conservative Debbie Schlussel:


BabyDaddy Ted Nugent w/ Ted Mann, 42, One of the Many Kids He Fathered & Abandoned

It’s hilarious to read Ted Nugent’s book, “Ted, White, and Blue: The Nugent Manifesto” which has a whole chapter lecturing Black America on “sexual ethics” and “sexual restraint,” and beseeches Black men to stop fathering children out of wedlock, telling them about the horrible results that happen to kids born without a dad. Um, Ted, POT. KETTLE. BLACK. (Or in this case, White.)…

Yup, Nugent now gives NBA and NFL players some pretty stiff competition in the babydaddy, out-of-wedlock birth category. He recently discovered another one of several kids he gave up for adoption (other kids’ mothers have sued him for child support).

Maybe if we asked Abbott he’d vouch for The Nuge’s family values, but in a ‘strong seed’ sort of way. The right-to-life crowd might love it.

How do you imagine the may-be Texas governor feels about the military, hmm?

My brother is a retired Commander from the United States Navy. He served 20 years in the mightiest military the world has ever known.

We never say thank you enough to our military. If you’ve ever worn the uniform of the United States military will you please wave your hand so we can say, “thank you for your service.”

And his website:

Protect Military Bases and Forces in Texas

The U.S. Armed Forces fight for our freedom, and we owe it to Texas servicemen and women to fight for their funding. As Governor, Greg Abbott will ensure Texas is aggressive in battling defense cuts that could harm our military and will work to protect our military communities.

Now how about you, Ted?

Interviewer: How did you get out of the draft?

Ted Nugent: …I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin’ and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin’ kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer – stuff I never touched – buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I’d drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. Poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.

See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin’ dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I’m gonna play their own game, and I’m gonna destroy ‘em.

And he did. The “imbeciles” figured he was too fucked up to go to Vietnam. Sad, isn’t it?

“… if I would have gone over there, I’d have been killed, or I’d have killed, or I’d kill all the hippies in the foxholes … I would have killed everybody,” he told the Detroit Free Press in an interview published July 15, 1990.

Perhaps the draft board knew what they were doing. After The Nuge showed up caked in shit, started weeping uncontrollably then passed out when they tried to take his blood, the military probably made the right call. Even if he was faking the whole thing they probably made the right call – anybody harboring that much disdain for the military would make a horrible, if not dangerous, soldier.

The law-and-order guy could learn a thing or two from the Army here. Recruiting a famous deadbeat draft-dodging child molester to join your campaign is probably a bad idea. Greg Abbott might change his calculations, especially after having spent so much of his career protecting Texas from the kind of degenerate Ted Nugent is.

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Joe the Plumber: Slammed auto bailout and union workers then took a job at a union Chrysler plant

profiles in courage

Politics makes for strange bedfellows. Or, in this case perhaps, the right-wing gravy train can’t last forever, especially when you’re a barely literate hack. That’s the hard new reality for the 2008 election campaign-oddity infamously known as ‘Joe the Plumber.’

Sadly, hard times have come for Joe. The attention from conservative media has waned, the requests for speaking engagements have all dried up, and the attempt to win an Ohio congressional seat ended up in a rout. Nonetheless a man is a beast that has to keep eating. So now he’s got to fashion a way to survive without welfare from the wingnut state. What’s a right-wing legend/marginally skilled plumber to do? Get a union job with Chrysler of course:

Yes, I have a website that puts out conservative news. Yes, I am part owner of a gun company. Yes, I’m a Republican who was cast into the limelight for having the temerity to confront Barack Obama on the question of redistributing wealth… But I’m a working man and I’m working.

Never mind that he owes his not inconsiderable fame and virtually every buck he’s made the last 5 years to the anti-union GOP nominees from 2008 John McCain and Sarah Palin. Forget that he won the congressional primary and ran as the Republican in Ohio’s ninth district in 2012. He’s never really had anything to do with any partisan group, and heck those folks don’t like him anyway. Because he’s always been his own man. See:

Since I became part of the zeitgeist I’ve been called a sellout many times – as if the Republican Party sends me a check every month for towing the Party line somehow – but anyone familiar with my online or public activism knows I could care less about either Party and for the most part, they want nothing to do with me.

So he’s only doing now what he’s always done – going his own way. Living by his own rules. And telling everybody about the actual America, the way that reality really is.

That’s all he was doing back in 2008 when he called out candidate Barack Obama and made him spill his Socialist guts in front of the cameras. That’s what he was doing in this interview with Terry Jeffrey from February 2009 [starting at 2:00]:

TERRY: …the substance of what you said was that Obama’s vision was akin to Socialism.

JOE: Correct.

TERRY: Now President Obama’s been elected, he’s been in office for a number of weeks. In what you’ve seen come froward from the Obama administration, do you think that your understanding of where Obama was going back then has been on the mark, or have you reconsidered it?

JOE: Oh absolutely. No, no reconsideration at all. He’s talking about nationalizing a bank. Scary. He’s gonna give more money to the automobile industry. Again, um, you know this is capitalist society. If you’re government’s gonna take care of companies it’s no longer a capitalist society. You can’t have it both ways. So if he continues to do this it will turn into a Socialist [society].

Unfortunately comrade Obama ignored your counsel and saved Chrysler from oblivion with Soviet-style statism. And for that abominable act, from our twice elected president, to you, Joe, let me offer this humble apology: You’re welcome. Now pay your taxes bitch.

TERRY: You’ve emerged as more or less an icon of middle class America. Why don’t you believe that President Obama is looking out for your interests?

JOE: Because he’s a politician, his lips are moving and he’s lying…But essentially the actions that I’ve seen him take thus far have proved that he’s going towards more of a Socialist regime as opposed to a republic. In fact I don’t even think he knows what a republic is…

TERRY: So he won’t objectively serve the interests of the middle class. But many of your neighbors voted for Obama, did they not?

JOE: Yes they did.

TERRY: They were persuaded by his argument.

JOE: No.

TERRY: You don’t think so?

JOE: Oh absolutely not. They were union members. They were persuaded by their union steward.

Now look who’s got a union boss of his own to deal with: Sarah Palin’s renegade. John McCain’s straight talker. The man who was once famous for layin’ the capitalist truth on Communist Guy. None other than Joe fuck the community organizer the Plumber. Somehow, this guy:

Can a conservative work safely and soundly in a union environment – in a shop filled with union workers, activists, voters and life-long supporters of the Democrat Party? You betcha…I’m no different than anyone else working at this company in that I want to fix my house up, pay off some bills, provide a secure future for my family and that doesn’t have a Party affiliation as far as I know.

My but the times have changed. So how about a little advice, brother? Don’t let the union steward get in a word edgewise on you. Don’t allow him to go on about how your job security now beats that of any private contractor’s, or how your quality of life is better than it’s ever been before. Don’t let him tell you that you owe a debt to the union organizers that made it all possible. Times may be tough for you but that hardly necessitates any newfound humility on your part. Give him instead both barrels of your philosophy of life which, from what I can tell, has always been: I’m here for the money.


There once was a ‘larming ole’ scribbler…


And a bottle of Hendrick’s Bulgarian-rose and cucumber gin was found in the freezer.

This afternoon there’s nothing to do but snow haiku. My attempts at 5, 7, 5:

Dame Peggington with her weather poetry. Oh no.

Full fat flake fell far
To sleep on the rude pavement.
Grraaawwwr. The shovel. Run!

Snowflake: distinctive,
Unique. Liquefies, blends. A
Loss, but less lonely

Oh my god. Make it stop.

All New York today
Is slush. Slip, fall, “Have a hand!”
We shyly love mess

Yea off me, now. Quite.
Now I mean. Seriously.
Nay, not want to live.

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The Lord gave it mutliple chambers and repeating fire. And it was good.

you got a real purty barrel

Over at National Review we see David French donning the holy gunfighter’s duster and ten-gallon miter. Having neatly pre-arranged the brethren in columns and noisy rows ($19.99 a year online, $29.50 in print) he bids them all to lower their heads. And they pray: Oh heavenly bangstick, hallowed be thy aim.

I’m virtually certain that David Frum was simply trolling Twitter (a popular pastime) when he tweeted on Saturday: “Hypothesis: the people who most want to carry are the very last people on earth who should be allowed to carry.”

That was exactly what many Americans were thinking after getting a load of this guy:

As Rolling Stone reported last year, [Michael] Dunn, a 47-year-old white man, had opened fire on an SUV containing Jordan Davis, a 17-year-old African-American high school senior, and three of his friends in Jacksonville, Florida on November 23rd, 2012… Dunn fired 10 bullets at the SUV, then drove away to his hotel without ever calling the cops. Police found no gun in the teenagers’ car, no witnesses reported ever seeing one, and Dunn’s own girlfriend said he’d never mentioned that the boys had a shotgun before he was arrested.

French could at least acknowledge that someone as cold-blooded and homicidal as Dunn should never own a gun. It’s common knowledge that there are many more Americans just like him. But in French’s answer to Frum we’re not talking common sense any more, we’re talking a kind of religion. French himself could not be more worshipful and he gives you the gospel:

In my experience, those individuals who carry do so because they very consciously do not want to belong to the class of citizens that is inherently helpless — totally reliant upon the state to protect not just themselves but their family, friends, and neighbors. If the choice is between protectors and protected, they choose to be protectors.

The .38 Is My Shepherd I Shall Not Want. It’s no more complicated than that. Given the choice between being one of The Chosen and one of the lumpen targets, French goes with the former. It’s a war out there, Amen. So he shall carry a gun. And he shall be saved. Simple, isn’t it? If only every single person in America could be armed 24/7, we could take dominion over this Earth. Or whatever’s left of Beirut, Sea To Shining Sea.

As for you heathen…

The protected class has a different view. The protected class is a dependent class — not economically dependent of course, but dependent on the state in perhaps a more fundamental way (for their very lives)…Walled off from gun culture, they read the occasional, aberrant story of (legal) gun-owner stupidity or recklessness and cower in fear of a nonexistent threat. (While of course blithely sending their kids off to far more dangerous activities, like swimming in neighbors’ pools or riding in neighbors’ cars)…

…or playing jokes on neighbors’ kids…

An Arkansas man faces a murder charge for allegedly gunning down a car filled with teenagers who had wanted to play a prank on his son. One of the passengers, 15-year-old Adrian Broadway, died from a gunshot wound to the head on Saturday.

The teens said they were pranking Willie Noble’s son by covering his car with eggs and leaves, which is when Noble reportedly arrived with a shotgun.

The Protector couldn’t stand to have eggs and leaves left on his paint job so he blasted a 15 year-old girl through the head. I’d like to see where French would hide the moral of this latest ghost story in his Bible. Will there be an Errata page? Or does Misfires And Revelations cover it? Sometimes the good guy with a gun sends an unarmed teen to Oops Purgatory. As long as the Good shooters are still well-armed and ready for the Bad shooters, it’s a small price to pay (said the survivors). There are matters of perspective here, but we can leave those to the hippies and Unitarians.

Let me close by countering Mr. Frum’s hypothesis with one of my own: “The people who most want to carry are those who most clearly understand their responsibilities to their families, their friends, and their fellow man.”

Nobody is more serene and calm, and no one is more acutely aware of his own responsibilities to mankind and country. Right, and Pope Francis carries an AK under his vestments. This comports nicely with everything we’re learning about gun nuts.

The study links the abandonment of the background check to an additional 60 or so murders occurring per year in Missouri between 2008 and 2012.

“Coincident exactly with the policy change, there was an immediate upward trajectory to the homicide rates in Missouri,” said Prof Daniel Webster, director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Gun Policy and Research.

“That upward trajectory did not happen with homicides that did not involve guns; it did not occur to any neighbouring state; the national trend was doing the opposite – it was trending downward; and it was not specific to one or two localities – it was, for the most part, state-wide,” he told BBC News.

But what’s the point in arguing? Or in bothering to notice these things? Gun ownership in America is a religion, and it’s insulting even to try and discuss it with the faithful.

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National Review is an excellent periodical he lied

buckley sicko scion or suckling

She looms…

Hillary, Relentless and Shameless
National Review | February 14, 2014

The phrase “Clinton fatigue” entered the political lexicon during the previous century; by this point, we surely must have entered the age of Chronic Clinton-Fatigue Syndrome.

Bad Clintons. Bad I tells ya. And if there’s one thing we can say about Hillary now…what would it be? What’s the word? Maybe ‘invisible.’ It certainly wouldn’t be ‘relentless’ or ‘shameless.’ Those would be fair descriptions of National Review. Also: Pubescent. And Pathetic.

It transpires to nobody’s great surprise that Mrs. Clinton was more than a passive victim in the sexual scandal that preceded her husband’s impeachment on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice…

She was an active victim of the Lewinsky sex scandal? Clearly she arranged the little contretemps to her obvious benefit. I’d ask where the hell you get off in putting forth such an outrageous lie, but then it all answers itself. You’re still getting off on Monica Lewinsky. You’re disgusting.

President Clinton strutted into church waving a Bible the size of a telephone directory while Democrats painted his critics as the second coming of Roger Chillingworth, if not Padre Torquemada.

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton, after bitterly dismissing the cookie-baking, “Stand by Your Man” model of wifehood, did precisely that. (The chocolate-chip-cookie recipe she shared with Good Housekeeping was excellent; Bill would later plagiarize a cookie recipe for a cook-off against Cindy McCain and Michelle Obama)…

Hillary swore she hated men but wouldn’t leave her husband! Calculating. Caligula stole a cookie recipe! Scandal.

The Clintons are our national grotesques.

I can’t imagine what Michael Mann is going to do with Buckley’s house of outrage. An ammonia works. Some steadfast long-range composting. Animal House style fraternity pranks.

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The greatest recycling effort to come

derpes is not an STD

Fifteenth Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress Charles Simic in the NYT Review of Books, the blog:

Widespread ignorance bordering on idiocy is our new national goal. It’s no use pretending otherwise and telling us, as Thomas Friedman did in the Times a few days ago, that educated people are the nation’s most valuable resources.

I translate this mention of the Mustache to “He takes the proles’ paycheck then argues to be their King.” Simic is too busy to bother so he goes on.

An educated, well-informed population, the kind that a functioning democracy requires, would be difficult to lie to, and could not be led by the nose by the various vested interests running amok in this country… For starters, there’s more money to be made from the ignorant than the enlightened, and deceiving Americans is one of the few growing home industries we still have in this country. A truly educated populace would be bad, both for politicians and for business.

Bad for Sarah Palin. Ted Cruz. Michele Bachmann. Steve King. All these barracuda are richer than Buddha because they learned to preach viciousness to the choir. It’s not so much the tawdry business of politics as it is the business of fame.

In the past, if someone knew nothing and talked nonsense, no one paid any attention to him. No more. Now such people are courted and flattered by conservative politicians and ideologues as “Real Americans” defending their country against big government and educated liberal elites. The press interviews them and reports their opinions seriously without pointing out the imbecility of what they believe. The hucksters, who manipulate them for the powerful financial interests, know that they can be made to believe anything, because, to the ignorant and the bigoted, lies always sound better than truth:

Christians are persecuted in this country.
The government is coming to get your guns.
Obama is a Muslim.
Global Warming is a hoax.
The president is forcing open homosexuality on the military.
Schools push a left-wing agenda.
Social Security is an entitlement, no different from welfare.
Obama hates white people.
The life on earth is 10,000 years old and so is the universe.

We’re overrun with hill people. Anybody have any idea what to do with millions of the hill people? Is it possible to construct seawalls with them, or do they float? How about traffic barricades? Wind breaks? Can anyone tell me how America became so infested?

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Texas Banana Man, the Rosa Parks of our time

you got a real purty barrel

Texas shop owner Derek Poe:

“Rosa Parks didn’t really need to sit where she did.”

Meaning that she could have sat in the back of the bus, the way she did on any other day. But she chose not to because she wanted to make a point.

Harmless banana man

Derek’s employee wanted to make a point too. So he put on a banana suit and loomed over the unsuspecting traffic in the town of Beaumont. But look what The Man did to him. Gave him a citation for soliciting near a roadway. Talk about your travesty.

“What the police have been doing is selective enforcement. It’s a form of harassment, intimidation tactics used by Beaumont PD. They didn’t even know what he did wrong. They were down there, one of the police officer’s going through her phone and her code book trying to find something to pin on him…”

So like Rosa Parks before him, who was only trying to drum up a little business, Banana Man is a hero. And a victim. Did we mention he was carrying a rifle at the time?

Poe, who owns Golden Triangle Tactical, added that the employee wore the banana suit to make himself look less threatening while carrying an AK-47.

“And the banana suit was so he would look less alarming,” he said.

Now it all makes sense.

Poe, an advocate for gun rights and part of the “Liberty Project,” compared owning and carrying a gun to owning pit bulls and walking them in public.

“If I have a problem with pit bulls, I see somebody walking down the road with pit bulls, I don’t call the cops because I’m afraid. And they don’t get their dogs taken away because they’re walking dogs in an alarming manner,” he said. “It should be the same. If somebody pisses himself — wets their pants — every time they see a firearm that’s their problem, maybe they should seek counseling.”

Yes. Maybe it’s time for you to see a psychiatrist. That way when Kumquat Man crawls out of the bushes babbling about ‘liberty’ and waving an assault rifle at your car you can have yourself a little chuckle. Because that’s what sane people do.

UPDATE: I had a minute to think about it. If I am the President of the United States (ed. note: I’m not the President of the United States) and I get a report of Breadfruit Man, or Apricot Man, waving an AK-47 anywhere in America I’m calling in an airstrike. Then I’m dispatching the National Guard to salt the Earth where he stood. That’s just me.

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KTLA’s entertainment reporter thinks Samuel L. Jackson is Laurence Fishburne

I'm not a strong swimmer

How many movies has Samuel L. Jackson been in over the last 20 years? A hundred? And entertainment expert Sam Rubin isn’t exactly sure who he is.

That’s a good bust. Credit Jackson for going on with the interview, after skewering Rubin for a minute or two.

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The Woody/Mia/Dylan reality show, featuring us


I admit it, I’m fascinated with the discussion over Dylan Farrow’s allegation of child molestation against Woody Allen. I’m not obsessed with the possibility that a famous person could be a monster. We’ve seen that sort of thing over and over again. I’m interested in the discussion because of the personal baggage the two sides bring to the fray.

I’ll start by throwing my own baggage in: My mother has borderline personality disorder. She’s really crazy. And after my dad left the family (a long time ago), she made up all sorts of lies about him that I believed. So I think – I know - that it’s possible Dylan believes she was molested even though it may never have happened. My siblings and I said all sorts of wild things about my father to stay on mom’s good side. It’s what you did to survive.

This is less reasonable, I think: What Woody Allen’s Response To Dylan Farrow’s Open Letter Tells Us About Him. It’s Alyssa Rosenberg’s latest over at Think Progress. Alyssa takes a ho-hum-he’s-guilty approach to the whole thing, which I find disappointing. Mostly she employs the ‘c’mon he’s obviously a bad guy’ argument without providing any evidence. From there she expounds on “the extent to which Allen’s values and worldviews, as expressed in both his personal communications with the world and in his films, have aged quite poorly.” I’m not sure what this means. Reading the rest of the post did not help. This part is really weird:

Obviously, there have been men in left movements who have seen their involvement in those movements as a way to have as much sex as possible, who have supported thinking about sexual norms primarily as a way to build support for their own behavior, and have supported the sexual liberation of women primarily because they’re interested in broadening the supply of their own potential partners.

Interesting. I also support women having as much sex as they like. I myself think sex is good and fine, so knock yourself out. But hold on there sport, wait just a minute – what are your motivations? It really matters! It does? Well in that case I hesitate to tell you…

But that doesn’t represent a consensus position of leftism or liberalism, and in fact, the emergence of second-wave feminism as distinct from other left movements is a reaction to precisely this kind of thinking and sexual entitlement.

…because I wouldn’t want you to think me guilty of sexual entitlement. Huh? Yes women should have all the sex they like, how could it be otherwise? That’s what we all call ‘free will.’ But after that, when we finally get down to talking about me, if I’m having all the sex I want that’s just…selfish. A power play? Gender hegemony! I don’t know, ask Alyssa. Generally speaking, though, we men shouldn’t be entitled to have sex, we should earn it. Might I add that whatever this second-wave is, it looks fairly antique? As for Allen:

In an even earlier era, in which still-powerful ideas about so-called scorned women and child sexual abuse were even more prominent than they are today, Allen might have been correct in his assumption that he had nothing to worry about.

Ok, Alyssa thinks he’s a scheming molester. But there’s some very fuzzy thinking, and writing, there. “(S)till-powerful ideas about so-called scorned women and child sexual abuse,” meaning they go together somehow? Scorned women were assumed to make up molestation charges? Alright, but then sometimes it actually happens (“Of the allegations determined to be false, only a small portion originated with the child, the studies showed; most false allegations originated with an adult bringing the accusations on behalf of a child, and of those, a large majority occurred in the context of divorce and child-custody battles.”). And in an “earlier era” the claims of allegedly abused children were always believed. I don’t know how many lives were ruined in the McMartin preschool tragedy. I remember it well, the school was only a couple miles from where I lived. And in “an even earlier era” before that, children were never believed. So today we’re approaching a proper balance in our perspective toward such allegations. I think that deserves a mention.

But the world is a different place. And now that the vision of it that Allen’s kept private so long has finally been exposed to the world, it’s for us to consider how well his vision of himself has aged.

And there’s the capper. This summation is a complete mystery to me – “the vision of it”? The allegation, you mean? The world, maybe? In a changing world, the vision of his private world has been exposed to the world, and now it should see his aging vision of himself? Oh doctor. All this because we’re talking about the same allegations from twenty years ago? I see.

This comment got a few thumbs up too:

I should have been aborted

There’s some baggage.

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