A case of nth-degree boobiary Ebola Panic

The truth is that Ebola virus really isn’t much of a threat. It’s only about as contagious as hepatitis. Unless you have some pressing need to go walking hand-in-hand with strangers along the Mesurado river, it’s something you can easily avoid. Ebola panic however is another story.

Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky declared on “The Laura Ingraham Show” that “this could get beyond our control” and worried, “Can you imagine if a whole ship full of our soldiers catch Ebola?”…

Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin floated the idea of quarantining airline passengers in the affected African countries before they could fly out. “We’re learning a lot about how it’s spread but the question is ‘How can a person just jump on a plane and get here without a quarantine period of 21 days,’ which I believe is recommended,” he said on a radio talk show Wednesday.

Can you imagine quarantining the thousands of people who arrive here from West Africa every day? Can you imagine lying so shamelessly about a Centers for Disease Control recommendation? Fuck you, Paul Ryan.

You know what’s a good way to deal with this problem? When an African man shows up in your Dallas emergency room with flu-like symptoms, you ask him: “Are you Liberian?” Here’s a sensible one: “Did you just fly here from Liberia?” And then there’s this corker: “Have you recently been in close contact with any Liberians dying from Ebola, in Liberia?” Asking even one of these practical questions of a vomiting stranger could give your puzzled medical staff valuable hints as to what they’re dealing with, but your mileage may vary. Notwithstanding: Booo! That’s not how these clusterfucks go, so now we’ve got a full-blown case of American Ebola Tremons. Matthew Continetti:

We are told that Benghazi was a spontaneous demonstration, that al Qaeda is on the run, that the border is secure as it has ever been, that Assad must go, that I didn’t draw a red line, the world drew a red line, that the IRS targeting of Tea Party groups involved not a smidgen of corruption, that the Islamic State is not Islamic…

The system can withstand only so many shocks.

Remember when those four guys were killed in Libya? It looked like sheer panic in my neighborhood, I can tell you.

The response by our government has been denial and delusion. But that has further alienated the public, and it won’t be long before things get really weird. Maybe it is time for the political class to panic, too.

Know hope? That’s passé.

Know fear.

You hear that? SShh! Did you HEAR THAT? This would be ghost whispering for our wingnut pals. If only the simple suggestion of ghosts having ears wouldn’t cause an outbreak of volcanic incontinence. THEY CAN HEAR YOU? Then there’s Jonah Goldberg.

If I were in charge of overseas contingency operations at the Islamic State or al-Qaeda, I would send as many suicide-bomber types back to America (and France and Britain) with a new weapon: Ebola.

What a mensch.

I’d tell them: Take as many connections as you can on the flight home. Help people with their luggage whenever possible. Leave a mess in the plane bathroom and a paper trail of your travels that will foment panic when ultimately revealed.

Really a helpful sort.

Have fun for as long as you can and maybe share your spit, sweat, and other stuff in as many creative ways as you can. See a show. Go to a water park and just hang out in the lazy river all day. Eat at a nice restaurant, leave a messy napkin. Don’t bother to wash your hands — and never flush (or if you do, make sure the toilet overflows!).

The Salt of the Girth. He is.


Lucas Oil for Jesus America: Shut up Black Lady!

The Vice President of a global warming conglomerate that manufactures a thoroughly useless oil product has just now favored the internet, telling the whole world her useless feelings. Jack Benny pose: well. Get your paper and pencils out boys because this is gonna be big, really big.

Charlotte Lucas, the wife of company founder Forrest Lucas, posted a Facebook rant on Friday regarding “minorities.”

Via RTV6 in Indy, Mrs. Lucas said…

charlotte lucas facebook

If you won’t fight back for what is wrong with this country just because someone is a minority what’s the problem with you? You’re white. You rule. Tell everybody what to do! About what, incidentally? And which person, exactly?


I don’t know. Probably somebody big.

The post was deleted, but Lucas confirmed to RTV6 that she had written it.

“I was very upset when I wrote that,” Lucas said. “I will not elaborate other than to say that there are certain people who are trying to make the whole world eat what they want to eat and do what they want to do. I don’t think it’s any of their business what I put in my mouth. Thank you.”

I won’t go any further than to say this person is a big deal minority muslim. And she makes it her business to tell me what to put in my mouth. Okay, you got me, it’s Shecky Green. SHUT UP BITCH.


Who would want to see him shot dead? Not us! No!

The National Review’s resident poncy toff is shocked, shocked!

An extraordinary item from Peter Baker in the New York Times:

“President Obama must be touched by all the concern Republicans are showing him these days. As Congress examines security breaches at the White House, even opposition lawmakers who have spent the last six years fighting his every initiative have expressed deep worry for his security.”

“Even”? Can it really be too difficult to recognize that citizens who strongly disagree with the president of the republic don’t want him to be murdered?

Baker got a little snark-y in his column but it isn’t all that funny. There are a great number of Americans who would rejoice upon hearing the Secret Service had failed to stop an assassination attempt on the president. If you’re in the habit of reading blogs (woe is me) then you know what the far right thinks of the first African American president. They want him dead, right now. But like every other true patriot, Cooke has some tony bipartisan fee-fees you jackals.

Of course we want the president to be safe. Those who are surprised by this perhaps need to spend some more time with their ideological opponents, or — and this will be harder, I grant — spend a little more time examining what it is about their ideology that led them to conflate political opposition and violence in the first instance.

Whether Cooke drew the National Review short straw or he’s been stocking gin at the Empire Club and forgot what The Internet’s about, this is fuck-all stupid. I make such a claim because having to write this blog over the many years has resigned me “to spend some time with their ideological opponents.” I’m a witness to the yearnings of America’s right-wing.

But just in case any curious human person disbelieves me, I went and double-checked. I clicked over to the wingnut website Weasel Zippers: Secret Service Director Resigns …Man With Gun Allowed Feet From POTUS… And I copied a few reactions to the failures of the Secret Service:

Kill Barack WeaZipz

To be fair those are less than ten percent of the comments. But their existence is as predictable as Cooke making self-mocking assumptions. He doesn’t seem to know the first thing about his nuthouse former colony.


Caught red-handed playing the racetard

Is Kirsten Gillibrand a racist? D.C. McAllister at The Federalist asks and then answers the question.

New York Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand seems to be stereotyping football players according to race and contrary to statistical evidence.

That’s a serious allegation to be leveled, especially at a Democrat from New York. Let’s investigate shall we? This comes down to something she said, so let’s hear it.

In a recent interview with Huffington Post, she said, “All of the fans, young boys and girls watching this, are watching the NFL say it’s okay to beat your wife. It’s unacceptable…. It’s not just about Roger Goodell and this one player. There are hundreds of players who are beating their wives, committing assault, committing rape across all sports, and we have to hold them all accountable.”

Note that Gillibrand didn’t say it was “hundreds of minorities who are beating their wives.” That would be singling out some over others. She said it was “hundreds of players who are beating their wives,” and “across all sports,” at that. So the problem isn’t relegated to only professionals, or even players of football. And I don’t doubt she’s right. To McAllister, though, that sort of charge sounds like a voice-over for “Birth of a Nation.”

How so? Because when she makes a general observation about all sports, Sen. Gillibrand is clearly talking about only certain people.

Really? Hundreds? How does she know this? She makes it sound as if wife-beating and violence are epidemic in the National Football League.

So there, she’s talking about the NFL. This leaves the senator a rhetorical sitting duck, and there’s paltry left to do but finish her off. And how will McAllister dispense with the maniac Gillibrand? By doing us the great favor of reducing National Football League players to numbers, categorizing them by race and criminality. Really? Yeah, really. Hey if this is where the foolish senator wants to go, D.C. is only too happy to oblige:

But is this really true?… Pitch writes:

Blumstein and Benedict found that of the 342 black players in their [NFL] sample, 97 of them, or 28 percent, had an arrest for one of these [many] crimes. There were 77 whites in the sample; seven of them, or 9 percent, had an arrest.

Those numbers appear high until we compare them with arrest numbers for the general population… For the general population, the arrest rate for assault for black men was 6,990 per 100,00, and for whites, 2,209.

The corresponding rate for NFL players, black and white, was less than half the rate for the general population.

Yikes. 25% of black and white players combined had been arrested for committing any of a number of serious crimes, from DUI to rape and domestic violence. But when you narrow the field down to simple assault the numbers do get better. That’s when Goodell’s millionaires are only half as bad as your everyday thugs. Feel any better about high-profile wife-beating? I know I do. But before you get too upbeat, let’s watch D.C. grab a-hold of even more shocking numbers, with her spread sheet in the shape of a burning cross, and beat the senator like a wandering Klansman:

If the facts don’t back up what feminists like Gillibrand are saying, why do they assume that “hundreds of players are beating women and committing assault”? Could it have anything to do with the fact that 67 percent of NFL players are black?

Behold the brilliant rhetorical tack: Is she a racist because the NFL is black? Does she know how bad blacks are? What, are you telling me you don’t know? Let me show you the statistics!

Are they drawing that conclusion based on the fact that black youths, who make up 16 percent of the youth population, account for 52 percent of juvenile violent crime arrests? Or that in a city like New York, 83 percent of all gun assailants are black even though they make up only 24 percent of the population?

Now with the numbers out, McAllister delivers the haymaker:

Is Gillibrand assuming that because a majority of NFL players are black they must be criminals?

Is she making the McAllister assumption? Does she think a few statistics can indict an entire race?

Just asking.

It needed to be asked! If she assumes that a FEW black people – professional football players – are as bad as the rest, their own friends and family for instance, that’s racism. It would be quite the shocking thought-crime on Gillibrand’s part, agreed? God Bless The Federalist, whose cheerless lot in life is to defend the targets of such groundless bigotry.


Like most women, Paris Hilton is too much for Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson’s dorkhut has got some sort of problem with Paris Hilton.

hilton headline

Paris Hilton has been acting very Paris Hilton-y lately, purchasing $13,000 Pomeranians, carrying around loose $100 bills and pictures of herself, but she really crossed the line Thursday when she uploaded these photos to her Instagram of her wearing nothing but bondage lingerie and thigh-high boots.

The line has been crossed.

paris hilton picture

That’s not lingerie, that’s art. Lingerie you don’t have to cut your girlfriend out of. There’s a hamburger commercial currently running where she’s wearing a small fraction of that spidery mess but pardon me what’s this chock-full in the Daily Caller side column? An internet supply of barely clad women. Bless my boner, if it isn’t Carlson’s Cheesecake™.

Tucker's Sideboob Day

Maybe I’m making a dull point, but that’s not even a woman. It’s only a part. A part of a part of a woman, and without any clothing. In fact, the no-clothing is the whole point.

Tucker's Ass Day

And another woman-part. Just their butts, thank you. Hold the talky-thinky bits please. And when Tucker does manage to get an entire human being into his masturbation stream…

Tucker's Asian Chick Day

…it’s for ‘National Fortune Cookie Day.’ Which brings us:

Tucker's wet dream

Asian women. Get it? Considering Tucker made up fortune-cookie day, and that said cookies were invented by Americans as a gimmick to impart “Chinese Wisdom” at the end of an exotic meal – cough – I’m disappointed we aren’t seeing some ‘ah-SO’ thought bubbles.

So, to sum up: Paris Hilton is a naked whore. Who flaunts herself with sex pictures. And while we’re tsk-tsking her wrecking of civilization please enjoy Tucker’s wankpics of female body parts – the rump, or the hock – or try one of his favorite after-dinner treats, an Asian in her panties. Done.


American History, the self-help subject

Almost exactly 110 years ago today. The New York Times:

NEW ORLEANS, La., Sept. 17. — According to information received here to-night, United States Senator McLaurin of Mississippi, in defending W.C. Eastland, who was arraigned in the Circuit Court at Indianopa, Miss., last Friday on the charge of having participated in the burning at the stake of Luther Hollsert and his wife for the murder of a white man, has indorsed lynching as being the only reasonable atonement for murders and assaults in the South.

Senator McLaurin warned that Southern justice could not be served without lynching, so he ‘indorsed’ burning a black couple at the stake. I post this tidbit to remind myself that Authority doesn’t always know what’s right.

It would establish a committee to regularly review texts and course plans, starting with Advanced Placement history, to make sure materials “promote citizenship, patriotism, essentials and benefits of the free-market system, respect for authority and respect for individual rights” and don’t “encourage or condone civil disorder, social strike or disregard of the law.”

Jefferson County Colorado wants its American History to be taught without any of the interesting parts. Without labor strikes, or Martin Luther King Jr., or John Brown. They don’t want the kids to hear about the Robberbarons – they want them to hear about the Job Creators. Let’s not teach them about slavery, let’s instead point out how the Atlantic Triangular Trade system powered the Mississippi economy.

And if our current epoch is to be discussed, let’s avoid mentioning how the banksters so damaged the 21st century financial commons that they sent the country – heck, really most of the planet – spiraling into a crippling recession we’re still suffering from today. Let’s just say that the fiscal creativity of a few, powerful people functions as the lifeblood of a modern free-market economy, and without which we’d be no better off than Vietnam.

Arvada High School senior Tyrone G. Parks disagreed with the school board, and argued that protest is a crucial aspect of American history, “and everything that we’ve done is what allowed us to be at this point today. And if you take that from us, you take away everything that America was built off of.”

But authoritarians don’t believe that, do they? The Sixties didn’t save us from our own worst instincts, it was a satanic ritual. James Earl Ray wasn’t a typical racist, he DONE WENT AND BROKE THE LAW. History is their virginal Southern daughter, to be protected from your Negroid facts at all costs.


Black man drives without his seatbelt, police shoot him in 5 seconds

On September 4th, South Carolina trooper Sean Grouber witnesses Levar Jones pulling into a gas station without wearing his SAFETY BELT. The trooper pulls alongside Jones, demands to see his license, and then immediately shoots him.

see here.

Can I see your license please? [pause] GET OUT OF THE CAR! GET OUT OF *bang bang* THE CAR! *bang* *bang* GET ON THE GROUND! GET ON THE GROUND!

I just had my license! You [?] my license! I grabbed my license right there! That’s my license right there, dude!


What did I do?


What did I do, sir?


I think so. I can’t feel my leg. I don’t know what happened, I just grabbed my license.

[to radio] Rachel and 8-6-6 I need a 1052.

Why did you, why did you shoot me?

Well, you dove headfirst back into your car.

I’M SORRY, I didn’t know.

You jumped back out, I’m telling you to get out of your car.

I’M SORRY, I didn’t hear two words, sir.

Add: ‘Barney Giese, Groubert’s defense attorney, said there’s more than one way to interpret the video and told the judge Wednesday his client is not guilty and was justified in shooting Jones who was reaching for his license. Giese, who served as the Fifth Judicial Circuit Solicitor for 16 years, said Jones reached for his license “aggressively” and Trooper Groubert thought he was reaching for a gun.’


control, kill, yawn.

If you’re thinking about offering some valuable advice to our jittery friend, the You Ess of Ehh, you might pick up some pearls of wisdom at that Tiffany’s for nacreous and flawless common sense, Renew America. There they have Amazeballs ideas. Strolling among the red, white and blue counters, with their seductive displays, you can pick through the rich leaflets of letter at your leisure, and come upon a remarkable something like this

There’s a run-a-way train barreling down its tracks and heading towards a heavily populated city center…This out-of-control train is America.

And you can think about it. You can ponder, and you can even agree. Yes, I think we are out of control. Making haste you can turn over the pamphlet, and, well, what’s this?

Obama simply has no stomach for killing his creed en masse, under any circumstances, even when the circumstances present an existential threat to the United States…So the time has come to return to the strategy of President Truman and face reality.

And what may hit you, could very well strike you, is: Harry Truman? Why isn’t that odd. His strategy was all of what, ‘ka-BOOM’? So you go back to the front:

To stop our proverbial train wreck, what does America need most? We need self-control.

Then go back to the back:

Put simply, we should employ tactical nuclear weapons to wipe out the enemy. We cannot worry that Islamic civilians will be killed in the process.

Really. Front.

Dear Americans, the tools we were given by our Founding Fathers to prevent such calamity have either been ignored, or have been altered to a barely recognizable state. The tools are the United States Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

America go back to your 1700s. Back.

If we really want to destroy ISIS and set an example for other radical Muslims and the Putins of the world to fear us and leave us in peace, we must use the tools that can do this.

Now please deploy your nuclear weapons. I imagine scenarios like this: ‘Welcome to conservatism,’ the doctor said, removing his dry fist from Bob’s ass. ‘Be sure to collect your ball-gag and fix of grenades at the nurse’s station.’


The particular way conservatives very sincerely respect women

On Thursday, geobiologist A. Hope Jahren wrote about sexual assault in science academia, particularly as it occurs during field work. Though Jahren didn’t know her attacker, the perpetrators are frequently senior members on a research team. In one study, 26% of the female scientists said they had been assaulted.

This is shocking crap, right?

Of course, the push to encourage women in science is only going to cause more such sexual assaults to take place, which is one more reason why it is a bad idea.

…shocking because ladies don’t know their place. Take a hint from Internet Superintelligence Vox Day, skirts:

Science doesn’t need more women, especially if more women in the field are going to help transform otherwise good male scientists into rapists and sex criminals.

Leave J. Robert Rapenheimer alone! Can’t you see him masturbating into his Mastodon skull? Science!

Comments, anyone? You there, waving the burning cross.

If more women entering science are accompanied by more males of color, rapes will slowly be reduced to nothing as white males are forced out. This is why feminists are so firmly allied with communities of color and so firmly in support of mass immigration from female-friendly places like Mexico and Somalia.

Remember people: Do not wash your pointy hats with acetone. The fumes can be toxic. I can’t stress that enough. Anyone else? You there, wearing the deerstalker, peering at us through an eyeglass.

Here is the thing about woman with an IQ at least three standard deviations above the norm. They don’t have interests, they have all consuming obsessions. They will constantly be walking into walls because they are in another world. They have no real sense of self awareness half the time. To put it mildly this creates a window of vulnerability.

Female intelligence makes for vulnerability. Super. Fortunately, the other women are well aware that America is a roiling rape carnival. This would explain why sexual assault is so prevalent on university campuses, and we offer our tragic thanks to Messderp Poirot, of course. Now the gentleman right here, up front, standing in a pool of drool.

Look.. any time you run into a pretty female scientist or engineer you know without doubt that they got there based soley on thier looks … i have watched it time and time again as they use sexuality to advance so the claim that they somehow dont know what qas happening in simlpky not true ..

You know how to get a paper published in Nature? Offer sexual favors to the editors and peer reviewers. That’s how I did it. Luckily in my case they were all Victoria’s Secret models who slept their way to the top of the periodical heap, which is typical, isn’t it? That toots Marie Curie must have been quite the whore. You sir, wearing the sunglasses and Sammy Hagar tour shirt. Anything to add?

uh, let me help you out, science babe.

an *HOUR LONG* encounter in a stair well has left her confused for 20 years.

it’s called an ‘orgasm’, dearie. and you’ve got blood under your fingernails because you were scratching his back.

Cabo Wabo! Titties and fuckin’ beer, maaan. See how these people love and respect women? It’s enough to make you wanna choke someone.


All your baseless fears are belong to Krauthammer

I’ve been reading up on the 30 year-old McMartin Preschool fiasco today. I grew up in Palos Verdes, which is close to Manhattan Beach, and I was very much aware of the wrenching satanist child molestation conflagration that turned out to be hooey.

Looking back, Margaret Talbot in the New York Times:

Maybe that is why it is easier for most of us to forget, rather than to try and explain, the Satanic-abuse scare that gripped this country in the early 80′s — the myth that Devil-worshipers had set up shop in our day-care centers, where their clever adepts were raping and sodomizing children, practicing ritual sacrifice, shedding their clothes, drinking blood and eating feces, all unnoticed by parents, neighbors and the authorities.

Once you begin to think the worst is likely, it’s hard to stop. Many people believe there are still tunnels littered with pentagrams and leather implements underneath the site where the daycare center stood. Most of those fools don’t stir their cereal every morning with the Pulitzer Prize they won for being a Majestic Thought-Person.

What was the Islamic State thinking? …what was the logic of propagating to the world videos of its beheadings of two Americans (and subsequently a Briton) — sure to inflame public opinion?

There are two possible explanations.

In “The Jihadi Logic,” Charles Krauthammer gets hit with an existential crisis normally reserved for infamous thugs: Why the hell am I doing this? Why didn’t I just pocket a few dinars as a hitman? Silly me, I had to go and film the whole thing. Guess I’ll just have to live with it.

One is that these terrorists are more depraved and less savvy than we think. They so glory in blood that they could not resist making an international spectacle of their savagery…

Did someone say “terrorists”? I’m seeing something close to that in the first sentence. I don’t know how you’d rally anyone to your cause without going on and on about yourself, and your heroic struggle, etc. I don’t see how you’d get anywhere if you were just a secret mass murderer. Imagine if poor Ronnie’d had to guess which of the mullahs he was supposed to sell missiles to, what a clusterfuck. Is Charles so clueless? Or is he…PULITZER SMART?

The second theory is that they were fully aware of the inevitable consequence of their broadcast beheadings — and they intended the outcome. It was an easily sprung trap to provoke America into entering the Mesopotamian war.

How can they be typical Iraqi terrorists…when they’re global masterminds?! Now they’ll be hunted to the ends of the Earth, and systematically annihilated by the most cold-blooded high-tech war machine ever assembled…and boy howdy did the Americans ever fall for that.

Because they’re sure we will lose. Not immediately and not militarily. They know we always win the battles, but they are convinced that, as war drags on, we lose heart and go home.

Dateline: Iraq, 2024. After killing most of the Islamic State in Syria’s rank and file – as well as another 100,000 innocent civilians – America is now pulling out of this war-torn country for the third time. And here come the few remaining jihadis emerging from their spiderholes, in unbridled elation. We did it! We beat the Great Satan! Similarly, a smoking cat that crawls out of an apartment fire is, in fact, Alexander the Great.

America experiences shock and outrage and demands action. Then, seeing no quick resolution, it tires and seeks out leaders who will order the retreat. In Obama, they found the quintessential such leader.

To put it…simply. Because ISIS easily goaded Obama into mobilizing another Iraqi military campaign, he’s a spineless jellyfish*. Some future president at some point will end his foreign adventure – and SEE? I told you so. There are no words to describe how stupid Charles Krauthammer is. Remember this fellow?

The Japanese then sent a search party to try to find Onoda in the jungle. Unfortunately, he was too good at hiding with 27 years of practice. They could not find him. Onoda continued his mission.

Exhibit A of ‘Why America Lost World War Two.’

* …tonight, on Monsters of the Levant: The African Man O’ War…


The passion of the unconscious wife, by Andrew McCarthy

Andrew McCarthy takes a breather from whacking his Mohammed piñata to defend our Men of the Gridiron.

The progressive soap-opera storyline of the Rice coverage is that our aggressive, competitive culture, which has made the NFL so popular, desensitizes men to the gravity of domestic violence; that women are uniformly outraged by this state of affairs; and that football and the men who play it must be tamed.

I don’t recall; the men of football; needing to be tamed. Someone however has run amok with the use of fancy punctuation. But that’s no excuse for being a, what other less-cultured bloggers might call, “blithering idiot.”

ESPN’s Sports Center reported, incredulously, that many female Ravens fans proudly wore their No. 27 jerseys… One woman, clad in her Rice jersey, explained that while she did not condone his behavior, Rice had said he was sorry and was deserving of a second chance, just like other people who have done abominable things.


A second female Rice fan conceded that there was no excuse for the running back’s violent aggression, but contended that it was for the legal system, not the NFL, to punish him.

I can imagine how fans would greet the return of Ray Rice, legendary wife beater – with prominent cheers and boos. This would likely be accompanied by a smattering of home-grown fistfights in the stands. Why the NFL would be leery of such a spectacle is puzzling. Why can’t the big boys just play ball, mommy? Why can’t all football players play every Sunday afternoon? Andy hambing a sportz sadz, sniff. Here’s the point:

Through all of this, the ESPN anchor played the role of amen-corner, not interviewer. There was no suggestion that the women clad in Rice jerseys might have some valid points — it was simply accepted that they were well-meaning simpletons who, like schoolboys, need “reprogramming.”

Oh please, women are the only sensible people on the planet. You never see them, for example, marrying serial killers wasting away in jail. Here’s the round up, pardner:

1.) Progressives say women are “uniformly outraged by this state of affairs.”
2.) But some women, “incredulously,” are not.
3.) You and Bono should listen to these people.

Say, where’s Janay Palmer? Is she conscious yet? Can you speak, dear? The world would love to hear from you.

“To take something away from the man I love that he has worked” for all his life is “horrific,” she said. “Ravensnation we love you!” she added.

Good enough for me. This would be a brand new way of dealing with domestic violence, by the way.


Sarah Palin, Clubber Lame

Klondike Kill. Joan of Aren’t. Sarah the Destroyer. Malt Liquor and Parkaboobs, Siren of Death.

War is hell. So go big or go home, Mr. President.

Let’s take the knucklehead thing to the limit, shall we? Americans will soon be dying Mr. President. So don’t be shy now, go and kill a whole lotta them. It’s time the Middle East learned about the use of violence, and war. They need the sort of lesson they’ll never forget. They don’t know what they’re in for.

Big means bold, confident, wise assurance from a trustworthy Commander-in-Chief that it shall all be worth it.

The death of your son shall be worth it. To fight the one thousand or more obnoxious regional militias in Iraq for the next hundred or so years, all worth it. You will be grateful for Junior’s hideous dismemberment because I shall have Gone Big. And, in response to the vicious rumors, I can assure you my head is not permanently lodged up the War Donkey’s ass.

Charge in, strike hard, get out. Win.

Because that’s how you do it. You invade Iraq, charge, strike and…Win.

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