Tag Archives: bobby jindal

Bobby Jindal lacks a certain self-awareness

I hear whispers in the wind that Republicans are trying to re-make themselves. Maybe it was the feckless prosecution of a Romney rout that fell their crests. Obama never did break a sweat. The President could have slept through 2012 and still destroyed the challenger. That’s probably a sizable part of it. There are alternate theories for the re-do: Someone looked in a mirror. Somebody noted America no longer looks like Bumfuck, Oklahoma. Someone else wondered about the continuing devotion of the KKK long after the Selma riots. Whatever the case, Republicans are thinking about change. So the rumors go.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal called on the Republican Party to “stop being the stupid party” on Thursday as GOP leaders promised fundamental changes to help stave off future losses.

This is Bobby Jindal trying to help. Bobby Jindal?

“We’ve got to stop being the stupid party. It’s time for a new Republican Party that talks like adults,” he said. “We had a number of Republicans damage the brand this year with offensive and bizarre comments. I’m here to say we’ve had enough of that.”

Bobby’s had enough of politicians spitting their binkies seconds before appearing on national TV and mewling like Kenneth the Page. Bobby can’t take any more of you legally forcing Science teachers to teach creationism in the same manner high school French teachers would approach Klingon. Bobby will not tolerate you idiots abolishing state income and corporate taxes just to drop a crippling sales tax on the heads of the poor. What are you people, morons? And for those of you who aren’t sure this makes any sense, it’s not the time for discussion. Bobby Jindal in 2016.


Prez candidate Bobby Jindal is disgusted by Obama’s intrusive TSA screenings and unwillingness to defend America

The President, ultimately, makes the decisions that determine how we travelers are processed at any airport. That’s because the planes that end up in the air, or, more accurately, the passengers aboard, are perfectly capable of killing thousands of people on the ground, and wiping out sizable chunks of our greatest cities, and turning our lives into extended meditations on horror, loss and the former blessings of normal life.

While the former president, George W. Bush, was around, these issues were solemn, daunting and pressing New American Issues. But now that George has been supplanted by a Democrat, the way that this new power pretender carries out any security stuff is wrong. Doesn’t particularly matter how he’s doing it, it’s all wrong.

Jindal blasts Obama administration, calls TSA searches excessive
By Gautham Nagesh | The Hill

. . “I think the American people are worried when they see an administration worried about reading Miranda rights to the underwear bomber,” Jindal said. “[They’re] so worried about rights of the terrorists, what about the rights of innocent American travelers?”

Ah, the underwear bomber, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. Why had they read him his Miranda rights? Because he was an obvious sonuvabitch criminal, an attempted mass murderer. That’s why. And Abdulmutallab’s successful security by-pass and near-mass-murder exposed a terrifying blind spot in universal screening: your crotch.

Once again, we had to come to grips with reality — there were avowed anti-Americans smuggling powerful bombs through security in their shorts. The presidential pretender Jindal very much cares about some bit of this. He really cares, ’round ways, all ways, any way. As long as Obama sucks:

“I’m concerned out of political correctness we’re screening people that don’t need it,” Jindal said, adding that TSA should look at passengers’ travel patterns, how they purchased their ticket and other information to screen which passengers pose a threat.

Well, now that the President’s a different person, terrorism has suddenly become a pretty predictable game. Stop your overreaching political correctness: women, for instance, are not going to be suicide bombers . .

. . . yeah, whatever. We still gotta exempt people from screening. I imagine terrorists will take no interest in these policies.

“It feels too much from this administration like we’re playing a defensive game in the war on terrorism,” Jindal said, arguing the administration was lucky that attempted terrorist attacks in Times Square and by the “underwear bomber” Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab were unsuccessful.

So the offensive strategy with respect to the Abdulmutallab breach is . . less aggressive airport screenings?

“Luck is not a strategy. We need to be rooting out these networks, we need to be killing these terrorists,” he added. “The bottom line is yes we need to secure our country, but simply playing defense isn’t enough.

So we should have invaded, attacked and rooted out the Abdulmutallab problem back in its home: Nigeria. That’s a hell of a lot easier than changing TSA policy.


Why vote for Sarah Palin? Cuz’ Hawtdumb ‘MERICA totes wants Hawtdumb PREZANENT

That’s right, ugly motherfuckers, choke on the electric flesh. Bask in the power of the g-stringed glands and the ever-present scent of musk–America’s first Sex President is here.

Sarah Palin stalks the White House like a lurking lady-tiger backs up on a man-tiger’s jungle cock. And by that I mean she’d appreciate your vote, yoo betcha. And then she’d like to roger you incontinent and have 99 of your kids, and it’s about fucking time we had a real President, right?

Because it’s fucking time. Please don’t be turned off by it. Don’t only be a prude in the New America. This is the free-wheeling kingdom of the twin royals, hot and dumb, dude. Where folks are celebrities not because of what they accomplish, what they think, or what they write. People are famous because of what they look like in your mind, naked and down on their knees. Well, at least until they begin to become un-famous. And then they become famous again for what their freshly-shaven vaginas look like just above the limo seats.

Hawtdumb ‘Merica has just had enough of the uptight snorts who demand that people be talented, accomplished or hard working in order for the public to pay proper attention. Why can’t folks be rewarded with important and serious stuff for being totally smokin’ and horny? Sure, they may not know how to diagnose your bronchitis, may get confused over which end of the stethoscope goes against your skin, but how do you know they won’t just whip off their shirts, too? People will clamor for office visits. And softer butcher paper, maybe by Playtex.

The open embrace of Hawtdumb is the secret joy of all those Conservatives who once were so stodgy-bored about their candidates having intellect, or fortitude, and gravitas. They’re finally free to admit that what they’ve really been about all this time is perceived sexual power. Tall men, deep voices and iron-square jaws and cranky attitudes, red, white, and blue, and boy howdy I bet that guy can really fuck. You’ve got my vote, Randy! Yeeeeeehaw.

Back in the old days, those guys were ‘winners’. They quarterbacked the football team, ran the debate squad, gave the valedictory speech. Wrote influential books, won awards. They got out of the house, got out of the home town, went off and did the things that Americans bragged about.

John McCain was a last vestige of that version of what Republicans wanted. He went to Annapolis, served the country, he went to war. But you can see how even that model has become mostly a memory for the right: John was actually a stupid student, a terrible pilot, crashed a bunch of planes, got shot down, barely survived. He’s been trying to be that guy, but failed. He should have just slipped into the House of Representatives for a few years and then gone home and retired.

But with their allowing the lapse of the previous ‘capable’ model, with so many ‘new’ stupid and clueless Republicans choking the scene, who else could they have turned to? The business-Mor-man, Mitt Romney? He scares the shit out of dogs. The preacher, Huckabee? He breeds zeppelins. Bobby Jindal? He’s brown–in all the South, that only plays in Louisiana.

So they settled for McCain. But while they were doing that, they also developed a taste for the new breed. The people that stirred up the most right-side excitement in the last election were the retardeds, Fred Thompson and Sarah Palin. No, neither one of them had done squat shit in their lives other than gravitate to cameras and traffic in politics. And neither of them had enough intellectual firepower to snap off a punchline. These people were close to being sleeping turtles, but Republicans just loved them and love them still.

Why? Indeed. Chris Matthews knows why, it was exactly what he was talking about when, of Fred, he asked a guest “Does he have sex appeal? … Gene, do you think there’s a sex appeal for this guy, this sort of mature, older man, you know? … Can you smell the English leather on this guy, the Aqua Velva, the sort of mature man’s shaving cream, or whatever, you know, after he shaved? Do you smell that sort of — a little bit of cigar smoke?” Men talking about men like that. I suppose it has to be done when it’s the only relevant issue about Fred Thompson’s hilariously fatal candidacy. That, and his hot young wife, same thing.

And so it is with Palin, but in supple spades. She is horny and porny and she shoots living, breathing things, making them jizz their blood. Yeeeeeehaw, that’s a happy ending. Does she know what the Bush Doctrine is? No. Does she read……mmm, newspapers? No. Hell, had she even been much outside of tiny Wasilla before she became the state’s Governor? Bite my nipples.

Had she ever anythinged, anywhere, anyway? Other than bankrupt her home town? Do I really have to go on with this post? Isn’t it obvious what the hell Sarah’s game and fame are about? This person, from the world of politicians, who once were known for their silver tongues and acrobatic ways with language? Who got off this sentence folksy line curious construction mind grinder felony alphabet abortion in a welcome address for Michael Reagan?

“I’ll know that I have spoken up and I will speak up to thank people like Mr. Reagan, as we honor his dad, to encourage you too, Alaskans, to do the same and don’t just hang in there and go along to get along but stand up and speak up, and be bold and demand that Washington be prudent with our public monies and prioritize for America’s security, and forget the political correctness that makes one guard your conversation, and couch our words so cautiously that they lose meaning, and we lose effectiveness, and then we lose hope because we start thinking that politicians are only worried about their poll numbers and attracting campaign contributions for their next bid so that they can hold on to some title and some position.”

Aaaaah. She’s speaking your language, Conservatives. Or, in an other word, “XCKYJIPHGLE”. So mellifluous, it rolls off your tongue, after your tongue has been stabbed in its balls. Can’t wait for that radio show of hers, satellites crashing into each other trying to zero the signal.

“What’s the emergency, Bob?”
“We’re getting a repeating message off of one of the TELSTARS. Strange.”
“Well, what is it?”
“Just this: NO. PLEASE. ANTENNAE.”

Okay, enough, no further. C’mon, we all know there’s really no sense in her mangling a radio station. Between the ubiquitous cable play-by-play of the Hiltons, Simpsons and Kardashians, we’re already drowning in hot helium. The real essential, underlying Palin message just isn’t English, isn’t language at all, but it is already abundantly clear, and it’s never going to change. Cheaply polarizing, stoking one side, horrifying the other, it’s this:

“America? I will fuck you.”


buh'bye bobby jindal

Boy, that was fast: ‘brilliant’ southern state Governor President-to-Be one minute, red-headed stepchild of the political world the next. You know you’re cooked when ‘Kenneth the Page’ is discussed more seriously than you.


more bad jindal

More jeers are rolling in for Republican presidential candidate hopeful Bobby Jindal’s address:

Commenting on the public response to Jindal’s speech, Kathryn Jean Lopez, a blogger with The Corner on National Review Online, a conservative Web site, shared one e-mail she had received from a reader in Seattle:

“Jindal’s delivery was weak in this sense: he did not look like someone who could lead this country. He did not instill in me any confidence that he would or could be the standard-bearer in four or eight years, which I was looking for. I wanted him to do well. But he didn’t… He came across as the guy you’d want to have your daughter bring home, but not the guy you’d want leading your company during tough times.”

Writing for the American Spectator, Philip Klein wrote of Jindal, “The substance of his speech read fine, but his delivery was absolutely awful. His delivery was flat and his jokes and anecdotes were awkward, his grin childish. He may be brilliant, but presentation matters too, and this was a lackluster performance.”

How is someone who comes off like a child in any way ‘brilliant’?