Tag Archives: chris matthews

Obamacare + Chris Matthews = Axes of Drivel

Over at Dan Abrams’ ATM machine, Mediaite, someone named ‘Noah Rothman’ apparently works as an editor. This shouldn’t surprise me because, when it comes to writing about politics, Noah is a vintage you find only on the rare occasion, in the driest cellars of sizable castles and such.

For years, MSNBC host Chris Matthews has been sitting patiently behind the emergency glass waiting for President Barack Obama to come wildly swinging the ax of panic . .

. . to hack both the TV man-child and the beloved fire-hose to bits. The End. I think ‘twould be better for the axe to be behind the glass. With the other fire fighting equipment, yes?

On Tuesday, the air raid sirens blared and the president came screaming out of the fog begging for aid. Matthews’ interview with the President of the United States will air on Thursday.

The debacle-Luftwaffe having attacked the president with some Weather. Causing him to dink the hammer-on-a-chain doohickey upon the glass a’fore the Ax Of Panic, so that he may run and chop the MSNBC freak to death. The metaphorical politics here are all very obvious. Expound appropriately as you like, or send me a bullet-point e-mail but I am too stupid to even try.

This is just the latest in a recent spate of poorly conceived, ill-timed strategic decisions this White House has made since the end of the government shutdown and the cosmic implosion of the Affordable Care Act. The political identity of Democrats – both in the grassroots and in Congress – is so inexorably tied to the ACA that they cannot abide the level of negative press this law has received continually since mid-October.

Well I can’t argue per se that anything involving Chris Matthews is a good idea. But I do remember that George Bush and Dick Cheney ran straight to Fox News once (always [dozens of times?]) and that was a wise strategic decision. You know, because it got the their message (more war, please) right to the masses. Obamacare will benefit millions more Americans than any Iraq War ever did, but it comes with a complexity that “America equals kill” can point and laugh at, all day, so I don’t fault the president for visiting Matthews once every 5 years. Though if you want to say that the healthcare-for-Americans effort is moribund because of such a media spectacle, I can’t stop you. But you’re a silly, silly man.

The party’s left-wing, besieged and disoriented, is dragging the president by the nose into one bad move after the next.

. . lurching and disoriented, they hold their fingers to his nose while he swings the hatchet of dread, all the while as Spinal Tap conduct another air raid. “Follow my voice!” he calls to Chris. “Mmmph!” the vitrine’d goblin replies. Good stuff, huh?


Wingnuts and 9/11 pride

The bodies of Ambassador Stevens and three others killed in the attack on the Benghazi consulate were flown home recently. The President and the Secretary of State were present at a somber reception at Andrews Air Force base.

It was an “amazing ceremony,” [Chris Matthews] insisted. After an Obama clip, he said, “There was a moment in American history right there. Last week, when Obama spoke at the Democratic National Committee down in Charlotte, he said, ‘I am the president.’ Well, this week, he showed what it means to be president.”

Matthews’ commentary drove Brent Bozell crazy.

“This was a moment for pride? . .

If George Bush had been president, the arrival of these four caskets would have been painted as a sickening sign of failure and incompetence, of public servants needlessly losing their lives because the White House couldn’t piece together their intelligence reports. Matthews would have railed against Bush and “Cheeney” for failing to protect their diplomats in unstable Arab nations. Now it was time to tingle over the unified Democrats instead.”

I recall George W. Bush being president when three thousand people were killed by the bad Muslims. And the failure to save those lives was unequivocally Bush’s fault. He knew exactly who Osama bin Laden was. He knew Al Qaeda were planning to kill Americans. He knew a spectacular attack was imminent. But he never did a thing to prevent it.

Yet among the wingnuts you still hear crap like this:

“President Bush had at Ground Zero probably the most important moment in, uh, maybe in American history. It was when this wounded nation watched their commander-in-chief stand on that rubble and say they will hear us, we are going to avenge this . .”

Bush literally stood on the bodies of the people he failed to defend and did a tough guy routine. It was one of the most appalling spectacles in American history. But to fans like Bozell, Bush and his bullhorn beat the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Factually speaking, it was really Condoleezza Rice who liked it better than the moon landing, but why quibble? When Bush’s incompetent National Security Adviser can weigh in on Bush’s incompetence with tingling awe, we’re way out of Chris Matthews’ league.


Here it comes: the annoyingly centrist Barack Obama has been waaay “too liberal”

McConnell: Obama lost support because he governed ‘hard left’

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell says that President Barack Obama would have had more support in the Senate if he just governed more towards the middle. “As I’ve said all year, if he wants to meet us in the middle of the political spectrum we’ll be there to help,” McConnell told NBC’s David Gregory Sunday.

What part of “the middle” is “NO”? Since when has McConnell even seen “the middle”?

Another Dem backs down: ‘Scale back’ our agenda

“I think the President Is going to have to scale back his agenda after we pass health care reform,” said Sen. Bill Nelson (D-FL) in an interview with ABC News.

Echoing a common theme among pundits and conservative Democrats, Nelson said, “I think he’s allowed the left wing pull him too much in that direction.”

civilian conservation corpsAnd a Democrat, great. And the evidence of that left wing influence would be . . . what? It doesn’t exist. Gitmo is still open, we’re still in Iraq, we’ve escalated in Afghanistan, domestic spying still continues, Bush’s U.S. attorneys still have their jobs, the banks and banksters are as rich and dangerous as they ever were, there hasn’t been an iota of finance reform, and real healthcare reform is about get jettisoned. Do these people even know who the leftists are and what they want? Obama is the last person in the world that would appease the left, he’s defiant.

Chris Matthews and Panel Still Touting the “Obama Moved Too Far to the Left” Meme

Brooks: Yeah, what’s the biggest issue of our lifetime? It’s that people used to trust government in the New Deal and the Great Society. Now like 17% of Americans trust government. And this distrust of government has been building and building and building. And Massachusetts is a phenomenon of that. And so the question before the Democrats is do we listen to the people and say hey, we’re scaling back, or do we say we really believe in our agenda, we don’t care what you say. We believe in it so much we’re going forward. And that’s the crucial decision they have.

People learned to trust government during the New Deal because it worked. Since Reagan, government has been a punching bag for the right wing. They beat the hell out of it, make it completely ineffective, populate it with idiots like Phil Gramm, Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney, then when it tanks the nation, they say “SEE?”

And then they ride a populist wave of anger back into office to do it all over again. You break the cycle by making government effective. You can’t make government effective by listening to people who promise to destroy it.

Republicans are terrified of healthcare reform because it will benefit millions of people. That’s exactly why you PASS HEALTHCARE REFORM IN THE FACE OF GREAT OPPOSITION. Now. People will get “it” after they get it. They trust the government after it does good things for them. How the hell do you think Roosevelt got re-elected three times? Pass the bill.


Tales of Town Halls, guns and the menaces of freedom

“KTNW reporter Mac Fukudoma here, reporting from today’s raucous local Town hall event. Quite a sight, I must say, all the different citizens and protesters here at the King City Eagles’ Lodge, making their opinions known. Let me see if I can grab someone here and get an interview. You, sir, you–can you take a moment to talk to us? Thanks. Mac Fukudoma, KTNW–what’s your name, and why did you come here today?”

“My name’s Bob, and I came here to protest the government trying to turn my country socialist.”

“I noticed you have a holstered pistol on your belt–that’s a bit of a surprise. Why did you bring it to this crowded event?”

“I felt it was a statement I wanted to make about freedom. I refuse to live any other way, except the free way.”

“Freedom, yes. But I was wondering…”

“Me, I’m only gonna live free.”

“…I…see. And I also see you’re not the only one who’s armed–YOU sir. Yes, you–could you take a minute to talk to me? Yes–thanks. You can face the camera, right there. I see that you’re carrying a large rifle over your shoulder. Just what is that, an AK-47?”

“AR-15. Bushmaster, 30 round clip, M4 profile chrome-lined barrel, stock sling.”

“Okay–why did you bring an assault rifle to Representative Mitchell’s Town Hall on healthcare?”

“…the only right I have left. I wanted to exercise the one freedom this fascist government hasn’t taken away.”

“Have you, sir, noticed all the people avoiding you? Even our police don’t walk around with assault rifles…”

“Once they take your guns, you can’t live, buddy. Your guns’re gone, you’re dead. That’s what this protest is about, the government trying to tear our guns away…”




“Hey there.”

“WHE–lady, there’s a man holding a revolver to your head…

“…my boyfriend, Steve-O.”


“Afternoon, Mac.”

“Good LORD, Steve-O–what the hell are you doing?!”

“My rights–I’m not going to give ’em up.”

“Tell ’em, honey!”

Please, Steve, take your finger off the trigger…”

“America was a free country, but not any more. This is all I’ve got left, and damned if I’m gonna let the government take it away!”

[crowd:] “YAY!!”

“Steve, really, that is terribly dangerous…”


[crowd:] “FREEDOM!”

[hostage taking]

“…GOOD LORD, what is wrong with you people?!

[hostages:] “FREEDOM!!”



Why vote for Sarah Palin? Cuz’ Hawtdumb ‘MERICA totes wants Hawtdumb PREZANENT

That’s right, ugly motherfuckers, choke on the electric flesh. Bask in the power of the g-stringed glands and the ever-present scent of musk–America’s first Sex President is here.

Sarah Palin stalks the White House like a lurking lady-tiger backs up on a man-tiger’s jungle cock. And by that I mean she’d appreciate your vote, yoo betcha. And then she’d like to roger you incontinent and have 99 of your kids, and it’s about fucking time we had a real President, right?

Because it’s fucking time. Please don’t be turned off by it. Don’t only be a prude in the New America. This is the free-wheeling kingdom of the twin royals, hot and dumb, dude. Where folks are celebrities not because of what they accomplish, what they think, or what they write. People are famous because of what they look like in your mind, naked and down on their knees. Well, at least until they begin to become un-famous. And then they become famous again for what their freshly-shaven vaginas look like just above the limo seats.

Hawtdumb ‘Merica has just had enough of the uptight snorts who demand that people be talented, accomplished or hard working in order for the public to pay proper attention. Why can’t folks be rewarded with important and serious stuff for being totally smokin’ and horny? Sure, they may not know how to diagnose your bronchitis, may get confused over which end of the stethoscope goes against your skin, but how do you know they won’t just whip off their shirts, too? People will clamor for office visits. And softer butcher paper, maybe by Playtex.

The open embrace of Hawtdumb is the secret joy of all those Conservatives who once were so stodgy-bored about their candidates having intellect, or fortitude, and gravitas. They’re finally free to admit that what they’ve really been about all this time is perceived sexual power. Tall men, deep voices and iron-square jaws and cranky attitudes, red, white, and blue, and boy howdy I bet that guy can really fuck. You’ve got my vote, Randy! Yeeeeeehaw.

Back in the old days, those guys were ‘winners’. They quarterbacked the football team, ran the debate squad, gave the valedictory speech. Wrote influential books, won awards. They got out of the house, got out of the home town, went off and did the things that Americans bragged about.

John McCain was a last vestige of that version of what Republicans wanted. He went to Annapolis, served the country, he went to war. But you can see how even that model has become mostly a memory for the right: John was actually a stupid student, a terrible pilot, crashed a bunch of planes, got shot down, barely survived. He’s been trying to be that guy, but failed. He should have just slipped into the House of Representatives for a few years and then gone home and retired.

But with their allowing the lapse of the previous ‘capable’ model, with so many ‘new’ stupid and clueless Republicans choking the scene, who else could they have turned to? The business-Mor-man, Mitt Romney? He scares the shit out of dogs. The preacher, Huckabee? He breeds zeppelins. Bobby Jindal? He’s brown–in all the South, that only plays in Louisiana.

So they settled for McCain. But while they were doing that, they also developed a taste for the new breed. The people that stirred up the most right-side excitement in the last election were the retardeds, Fred Thompson and Sarah Palin. No, neither one of them had done squat shit in their lives other than gravitate to cameras and traffic in politics. And neither of them had enough intellectual firepower to snap off a punchline. These people were close to being sleeping turtles, but Republicans just loved them and love them still.

Why? Indeed. Chris Matthews knows why, it was exactly what he was talking about when, of Fred, he asked a guest “Does he have sex appeal? … Gene, do you think there’s a sex appeal for this guy, this sort of mature, older man, you know? … Can you smell the English leather on this guy, the Aqua Velva, the sort of mature man’s shaving cream, or whatever, you know, after he shaved? Do you smell that sort of — a little bit of cigar smoke?” Men talking about men like that. I suppose it has to be done when it’s the only relevant issue about Fred Thompson’s hilariously fatal candidacy. That, and his hot young wife, same thing.

And so it is with Palin, but in supple spades. She is horny and porny and she shoots living, breathing things, making them jizz their blood. Yeeeeeehaw, that’s a happy ending. Does she know what the Bush Doctrine is? No. Does she read……mmm, newspapers? No. Hell, had she even been much outside of tiny Wasilla before she became the state’s Governor? Bite my nipples.

Had she ever anythinged, anywhere, anyway? Other than bankrupt her home town? Do I really have to go on with this post? Isn’t it obvious what the hell Sarah’s game and fame are about? This person, from the world of politicians, who once were known for their silver tongues and acrobatic ways with language? Who got off this sentence folksy line curious construction mind grinder felony alphabet abortion in a welcome address for Michael Reagan?

“I’ll know that I have spoken up and I will speak up to thank people like Mr. Reagan, as we honor his dad, to encourage you too, Alaskans, to do the same and don’t just hang in there and go along to get along but stand up and speak up, and be bold and demand that Washington be prudent with our public monies and prioritize for America’s security, and forget the political correctness that makes one guard your conversation, and couch our words so cautiously that they lose meaning, and we lose effectiveness, and then we lose hope because we start thinking that politicians are only worried about their poll numbers and attracting campaign contributions for their next bid so that they can hold on to some title and some position.”

Aaaaah. She’s speaking your language, Conservatives. Or, in an other word, “XCKYJIPHGLE”. So mellifluous, it rolls off your tongue, after your tongue has been stabbed in its balls. Can’t wait for that radio show of hers, satellites crashing into each other trying to zero the signal.

“What’s the emergency, Bob?”
“We’re getting a repeating message off of one of the TELSTARS. Strange.”
“Well, what is it?”
“Just this: NO. PLEASE. ANTENNAE.”

Okay, enough, no further. C’mon, we all know there’s really no sense in her mangling a radio station. Between the ubiquitous cable play-by-play of the Hiltons, Simpsons and Kardashians, we’re already drowning in hot helium. The real essential, underlying Palin message just isn’t English, isn’t language at all, but it is already abundantly clear, and it’s never going to change. Cheaply polarizing, stoking one side, horrifying the other, it’s this:

“America? I will fuck you.”


The President’s ‘Animal Farm’ is Chris Matthews, Jim Jones and the Manson Family

Poor kid, it’s not like he’s had plenty of time to think about Orwell’s little classic. Or has he never read it, and he just wants to point out that he’s not talking about crops? I don’t know, I’m confused by this thing–he doesn’t seem to understand in the least how to make one thing or idea stand in for another for more than a couple of seconds.

The kid actually writes better than his pal Warner Todd Huston, but takes a foolhardy stab at a ‘metaphor’ in starting with the idea that the mainstream media are Obama’s ‘animal farm’.

Feel free to argue with me, but wasn’t the famous book an allegory of how the power-hungry use ‘utopian’ politics to their own greedy ends? AKA ‘Stalinism is Bad’?

Aw, nevermind–Hartsock just seems to think that the media are a bunch of animals, and the president’s a farmer. Get it?

The Obama animal farm

MSNBC’s Chris Matthews once vented to Don Imus his cumulative frustration with presidents who own ranches, huffing: “I want a guy to run for President who doesn’t have a f**king — I’m sorry, a ranch. Wouldn’t that be good, Don, a guy who wasn’t on the ranch during Katrina, he was on the street corner answering questions?” To which Imus replied, “Why are you swearing?”

To Matthews’ credit, virtually every modern president has laid claim to a ranch — even including the current guy who was on the street corner begging for “change.” There was the Reagan Ranch in Santa Barbara, Bush’s Crawford Ranch in West Texas, and Barack Obama’s relatively new, more sprawling cattle ranch — most commonly referred to as the “mainstream media.”

Now why couldn’t he have just called it ‘The Obama cattle ranch’? With the dumb media as cows, right?

One would think Matthews’ irritations would have doubled rather than subsided — if only he weren’t himself one of the ranch hands delivering the Kool-Aid-flavored milk to a mouth-watered public via the airwaves of the establishment news media.

Matthews is not one of Obama’s cows but a ranch hand? The ‘public’ are now the animals, and they drink ‘Kool-Aid flavored milk’? It’s a Fellini farm apparently. Ooookay.

Moreover, Obama’s ranch bears less resemblance to the aforementioned presidential ranches, and is more reminiscent of the Jonestown farm or the Spahn Movie Ranch.

Jonestown did have a farm (“Peoples Temple Agricultural Project”), but that was pretty boring. The Temple, however, was a dangerous and psychotic place, with the megalomaniac Jim Jones the center of the show, eventually urging his cultists to kill themselves. In your ever-nebulous morphing metaphor, it’s now unclear whether the administration or the media are the Kool-Aid cows.

And hay-zeus the Spahn Movie Ranch–really? Another cool metaphor eh, Christian? The ‘animals’ being the Manson Family I presume who lived there while one of the members acted as a sex-slave for the owner. What’s your point? Quick – Abraham Lincoln at Ford’s Theater, which MSNBC anchor is the bullet in Booth’s gun? Which trumped-up issue is ‘Our American Cousin‘?

In addition, the winged creatures of Obama’s farm are mostly tropical — bearing stark resemblance to the exotic parrot what with their impulsive, redundant utterances of rhetorical talking points that are conveniently proportionate to the standard 3.5″ x 11″ bumper sticker format…

Next: The dark prescience of the Brothers Grimm.


Bush and Gonzales’ First Final Insult: Ted Stevens is Beyond Your Law

Sure, you thought the world had changed. You thought the governmental scum were getting beached, the political punks pushed out of town. A new Sheriff was in town, and he won’t even let Human Rights Watch employees who once lobbied the State Department to ‘please stop torturing’ access to the government. Silly Jedi: legal kinks are for Teds.

Or, with respect to the Bush/Gonzales Department of Justice: gross malfeasance and incompetence are grounds for dismissal of every guilty conviction found against an endlessly, brazenly corrupt Beltway Son-Of-A-Bitch. And, oh, how this imbecility really burns: after Jack Abramoff, no one illegally strutted his oily, twitching, power-oozing carcass around like this guy.

Hey, and for reference, here is our 40-year veteran of Capitol Hill and angry lying and bald-faced scumbagg’ry, former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens:

i oppose you

..or, in an alternate congressional portrait:

i chigger you

..and has there ever been an easier stooge to whack in a case of corruption? Over 4 decades, the guy tallied a bill of crimes that made ‘Duke’ Cunningham look chintzy. The 7 felony indictments the former administration managed to get, far less than a representative sample of the Senator’s behavior over his career, are described here:

“..engaging in a nearly eight-year scheme to conceal his receipt of more than $250,000 in things of value from VECO Corporation, formerly a multi-national oil services company based in Alaska, and Bill J. Allen, the Chief Executive Officer of VECO at the time. According to the indictment, Stevens concealed these things of value from his publicly filed United States Senate financial disclosure forms. The things of value that Stevens allegedly received included: substantial home improvements to property Stevens owns in Girdwood, Alaska; automobile exchanges in which Stevens received new vehicles worth far more than the used vehicles Stevens provided in exchange; and household goods. The indictment also alleges that Sen. Stevens, during the same time that he was concealing his continuing receipt of these things of value from VECO and Allen, received solicitations for official actions from Allen and other VECO employees, and that Sen. Stevens used his position and office on behalf of VECO during that same time period.”

It was a piece of cake: everybody in D.C. knew, and everybody in Alaska knew because none of the conspirators denied Stevens’ bragging of their extra-legal status, that VECO and the Senator were fuck-buddies. Even when the dead-serious legal inquiries began, even with authorities already having them nailed dead and recording them exactly as the Senator assumed they were, this is as cryptic or worried as the old man would get:

“You gotta get, get a mental attitude that these guys can’t really hurt us, y’know, they’re not gonna shoot us, it’s not Iraq. What the hell, the worse that can happen to us is we run a bunch of legal fees, and might lose, and we might have to pay a fine–might have to serve a little time in jail–I hope to Christ it never gets to that…”

Good lord, he’s not just a poster-boy for the Bush Administration gone wrong–he’s an iconic symbol of political arrogance and government corruption for all of American history. This is the guy who championed the $398 million ‘Bridge to Nowhere’ and, having been humiliated for it, waged a war against his ‘enemies’. The same guy who, after he was convicted, being a lawyer, no less, claimed definitively that he had not yet been convicted. The guy who, though nailed and disgraced, still ran for Senate, making him the first contender felon to perhaps win a Senatorial race.

How could this happen? TPMMuckraker watched and blogged it all. It was an historically botched and corrupted prosecution.

Among the accusations were that the government intentionally “schemed to relocate a witness” and that an employee working on the investigation accepted artwork and employment for a relative from a cooperating source, according to a legal ruling issued late last night by the federal judge who presided over Stevens’s trial.

Among the [FBI] agent’s more eye-popping charges — which you can read here — is that an unnamed government employee “accepted multiple things of value from sources,” including “drawing/artwork, house-hunting assistance and employment for ___.”

The Government recently discovered that a witness interview of Bill Allen took place on April 15, 2008… The note was introduced at trial as Government Exhibit 495 and was referred to as the “Torricelli note.” The notes of the April 15 interview indicate that Bill Allen said, among other things, in substance and in part, that he (Bill Allen) did not recall talking to Bob Persons regarding giving a bill to the defendant. This statement by Allen during the April 15 interview was inconsistent with Allen’s recollection at trial, where he described a conversation with Persons about the Torricelli note.

The witnesses were bad, were poorly vetted and organized, investigators acted wholly improperly but were never rebuked or struck, and contradictory testimony was foisted upon the court. Amateur hour, all around.

And for that familiar Bush-league impotence, what do we get? We get criminals resting comfortably at home instead of in prison. This latent twist of fate isn’t trivial: beyond the familiar political scum who always assume they’re safe, now re-assured, the nagging and ubiquitous high pundits of politics will rest, too, when their idols return to being safe. Heck, where’s the real romance in politics if they’re mechanically subject to the law, like you or me?