Tag Archives: fox and friends

Hank Williams junior, right-wing meathead

News: Hank is furious with John Boehner. Because John played golf with Moe Howard, the Adolf. With the country this shape is in? A lotta people didn’t like that.

If you live in a town where people like Hank are walking around, I feel sorry for you.


FAIL: Fox News’ ancient p.r. shill provides no scandal cover

Rupert Murdoch’s enormous, paranoid, right-wing media conglomeration trembles before us. Aw, poor asshole jillionaire. After Rupert’s crown jewel British tabloid, News of the World, got exposed for hacking into thousands of people’s phone messages, folks throughout the Empire — throughout the world — got pissed. Furious. News Corp. doesn’t look so harmless any more.

It never was so. And it won’t be, in whatever future it retains, because Rupert is a lying, partisan shit. And here’s the latest proof.

The clip isn’t remarkable for its attempt at deception, which is S.O.P. for Fox News. It’s notable for its pitiable incompetence. They trotted out a codgerly public relations expert (Bob Dilenschneider) to push back against reality. No, not a journalist, not a former employee, not a member of Scotland Yard, not a gossip columnist — an American p.r. hack.

Gee, can you imagine what his take will be on the mess? Something honest and forthright. Maybe he’ll say it rates a trifle? Everything’s okay, nothing to see here? Blimey, you’re right.

The best part: the old turd doesn’t even understand ‘hacking,’ the cause of the scandal. Has no clue about the differences between anonymous cyberassholes breaking into corporations’ files so they can steal credit cards and yellow journalists snatching citizens’ cell phone messages so they can ignite a scandal. One of those crimes is your ‘strong preying upon the weak’ outrage. Rupert’s massive News of the World hacked and deleted the voicemails of a 13 year-old murder victim. Big, big difference.

Shouldn’t we get beyond it and really deal with the issue of hacking? Citicorp’s been hacked into, Bank of America’s been hacked into, American Express has been hacked into, insurance companies been hacked into. We’ve got a serious hacking problem in this country. And this morning, the government’s obviously been hacked into for 24,000 files. So we’ve got to figure out a way to deal with this hacking problem. That’s what we’ve got to do.

Thank you, Bob Liveinpreviouscentury. Perhaps you’d also address ‘Identity Theft’, Bob?

“A person’s identity is who he is. It can never be taken away. On rare occasions, a person could get hit on the head with a rock, or a witch might cast a spell, making him believe he was somebody else. In these cases, I seem to recall (I was a consultant for ‘Bewitched’) that a second hit on the head, or a potion supplemented to one’s morning coffee, puts things right.”

You can contact Bob at wherever Bob can be contacted.


Fox News breaks big story: every L.A. policeman to get a jetpack

They report. You point and laugh.

. . but here’s my thing: you gotta make up some rules. Because you could have jetpacks flying into choppers.

There are only 10,000 cops in Los Angeles. So I suppose everybody gets to take their service jetpacks home at night. And a billion dollars? That’s the yearly LAPD budget.

I’m disappointed to say I haven’t yet laughed at this clip because these people are so stupid that it depresses me a little. Has anybody in a helicopter ever made an arrest? Have the Crips figured out how to fly?

How did this happen? Because the powers that be at Fox, the producers and writers, read the Weekly World News.