Tag Archives: grandmother

Where I hopefully end Pat Boone’s career (as a Birther)

Pat Boone, dreadful singer, right-wing whackjob, is a birther. What little doubt we harbored of his stupidity disappeared when SFGate captured Boone’s video recitation of the ‘evidence’ proving Obama to be a Kenyan. Not that that makes him ineligible for the presidency, mind you, Pat. John McCain was born in Panama, for instance.

Anyway, the thing that struck me about his video outrage was Pat’s laughable cowardice. He’s got every rickety internet conspiracy memorized as if they were fresh off a grand jury docket. Complicitous liberal media! Everyone in Kenya knows! The birth certificate forgery, the photoshopping: the experts examined it and proved it was a fake!

You sorry, ball-less old crooner — why won’t you just once check to see if any of it is true? Your big, bombastic bit of damning evidence, the charge that Obama’s Kenyan ‘grandmother’ (great aunt?) confessed to witnessing his birth in Mombasa, is a howler. The very same geniuses who called Sarah Obama on the phone seeking to catch her in the world’s greatest lie got stuck hearing this:

“She says he was born in Hawaii.”

But of course, that wasn’t the ‘truth.’ So the Birthers edited it. At the beginning of the conversation, through an interpreter, when asked if she was there during Barack’s birth, she replies “yes.” She was there during his birth — there, in Mombasa, where she lives. You were there during his birth? Yes, I was right here. She was also there when the Birthers called.

In sorry wingnut land, this single, garbled, transcontinental English/Swahili/English translation is game, set, match, treason. That’s why they’re forever posting the recorded conversation but cutting it off immediately after Sarah gives that first answer. See here, for instance. But anyone who bothers to listen to the next few minutes hears Sarah’s insistence clear as day, again and again:

“He was born in America.”

And that’s what strikes me funny. Pat Boone, a spineless old tool with the gall to call his president a devious criminal, can’t stand to listen to a few extra seconds of the recording. The rise he gets out of fondling conspiratorial, high-school quality bullshit is too precious to be threatened by the truth.

But what do you expect of Pat Boone? He’s one of the most despicable singers in American history. If he had the balls to not suck, he might also have the courage to listen to Sarah Obama tell him his president is an American, just like him.

Anyway, for your amusement, here’s a video of Pat and the Kenyan call I cooked up. After showing you Boone’s lunacy from a few days ago, I appended the full audio that proves Birthers are chickenshits, starting with Sarah’s interpreter uttering the supposed eulogy for Obama’s presidency: “She was present when Obama was born.” The bonus video is just more of Pat being Pat . .


The Terror Babies are coming! (on airplanes in right-wingers’ heads)

Does it matter if a politician tells an outrageous, howling lie? Of course it does, it could end his or her career.

Does it matter if a lunatic Republican tells an outrageous lie? Yes it does — how else are they gonna get TV time and fire up the base? Hell, the truth won’t do that for the wingnuts, that stuff is BORING.

Hilarious, screeching lying is the feed of fear farmers, and there’s plenty here. And the biggest bull-milker would be Louie Gohmert.

Reported on June 27, Gohmert (R–TX, of course) took to the House floor, saying that he talked to a retired FBI agent who knew of terrorists bringing in pregnant women to have children here so that the kids would have American citizenship. Then they’d return home, train the kids to be terrorists, and then send the grown-up anti-American murderers back to the states to “destroy our way of life.”

And thus was born the “Terror Babies!” knee-slapper. Sensing a good thing — volcanic bugshit — Gohmert was happy to flog it again, about a week later. But this time, with a twist.

Appearing on Fox Business Channel (?), he trotted out his “Terror Babies!” again. But, oddly, he now had a completely different source for the shocking revelation: someone he personally knew heard about it first hand. From the grandmother of two of the Terror Babies.

You see, as Gohmert and his people were flying to the Middle East on a passenger plane, one of them, just minding his own business, had the woman sitting next to him inexplicably detail the whole thing. Turns out it’s a program being run by Hamas.

Grandma married into Hamas, her son-in-law is Hamas, and she simply had to tell the stranger sitting next to her how they assured the babies’ citizenships by flying her pregnant daughter to HAmerica. Now, some day, you can bet she’ll send them back to, you know, murder us all.

This is some serious stuff. Serious enough that, some day, the bullcrap may sprout legs and walk out of Texas. Just not this week.

Texas State Rep. Debbie Riddle has some shocking news for Anderson Cooper: here come the “Terror Babies!”

COOPER: Representative Riddle, you told my producer that pregnant women are coming here as tourists, having babies, and then going back home — quote — “with the nefarious purpose of turning them into little terrorists, who will then come back to the U.S. and do us harm.” You said it’s part of an organized terrorist element and could cost us lives. Where did you hear that?

RIDDLE: Uh, that is information that is coming to my office from former FBI officials.

WOAH — she’s got Gohmert beat. Her office has talked to several FBI guys.

COOPER: But you have no actual evidence?

RIDDLE: Other than that coming from former FBI folks.

COOPER: Can you tell us who these former FBI folks are, and what evidence they have or what evidence they’ve shown you?

RIDDLE: At this point, uh, I’m not going to reveal that.

Come on, Anderson. Do you expect her to tell you she howls at the moon?