Tag Archives: insane

No crystal ball needed: Glenn Beck is blind to the future

“The truth has no agenda, but the media does.”

Gee, I wonder in which of the truth/media camps Fox’s multi-million dollar man thinks he resides? Glenn Beck got off a real corker of a rant yesterday. Unhappy to keep feeding his nervous audience the same line of fears, as substantial as they are, he’s now detailing the disintegration of the entire political world. [. . having now seen the clip a second time, he’s actually predicting the end of global civilization (below).] He tore it to pieces and threw it before mindless, rapacious superpowers far out of the menial control of the likes of you or me. I suppose it would be wise to believe they’re surely coming for us.

Here are the subjects Beck avows are involved with or predictors of the events currently unfolding in Egypt and rippling across the planet:

–Mohammed ElBaradei
–The Obama administration
–The Iranian Revolution
–Progressive activists
–The Weather Underground
–Bill Ayers
–Bernadine Dohrn
–The flotilla to Gaza
–Turkish Islamists
–The Muslim Brotherhood

Those are only the conspiratorial forces he exposes in the first two minutes. After that, it’s time for Glenn to give his viewers the concrete answers to all of the following:

–“What’s going on”
–“Why we went to war in Iraq”
–What of “The coming insurrection”
–The future of the Middle East
–The futures of the major political players on the planet
–The futures of the continents of Earth

That’s all:

As Steve Benen quotes Beck:

“I believe that I can make a case in the end that there are three powers that you will see really emerge. One, a Muslim caliphate that controls the Mideast and parts of Europe. Two, China, that will control Asia, the southern half of Africa, part of the Middle East, Australia, maybe New Zealand, and God only knows what else. And Russia, which will control all of the old former Soviet Union bloc, plus maybe the Netherlands. I’m not really sure. But their strong arm is coming. That leaves us and South America. What happens to us?”

Yes, what happens? Will I live?

Any problem with that take? Well, sure there is. Glenn Beck’s not just a predictor of crazy, he’s a predictor of wrong. He doesn’t get it right, he never gets it right, he’s never even close. By any measure, Glenn Beck stinks at predicting where the teeming world will be in a year or two. So far, he has a 100% track record of being mistaken on the side of chaos, conspiracy, apocalypse, and mass death.

Witness a video of his I uploaded 2 years ago (thank you, Crooks and Liars) where he predicts the complete unraveling of Mexico with dire consequences for America. Yeah, he tries to tell you that this is just his gut feeling, but it’s identical in rationale and tone to his subsequent predictions, including the whoppers above. It’s so perfectly a reverse-xeroxed take that Beck’s seed crystal of the End of Days — Archduke Ferdinand — makes the same ominous appearance [11:21 above, 0:42 below].

Holding Beck’s recent behavior in mind, upon watching the clip, what hits you isn’t that Glenn would now think he misfired on predicting a struggling Mexico collapsing with shocking consequences for the American Southwest. It’s more likely he went wrong in telling the camera he could be wrong. Mexico is, after all, only one country, no big deal. Contrast this with yesterday’s epic take where he calls the perhaps destinies of virtually every major power in the world. Right or wrong, though it’s always the latter, he no longer gives in to the hesitations we see here:

“There are too many things going on in Mexico that nobody is paying attention to, and we’re going to. Because I just have this gut feeling that . . this could be the final lightning bolt in the perfect storm.”

His previous shows were merely practice for what Glenn’s doing now. If he has either become too messianic or too professional to be qualified, who will protest the difference? Like his tears, Beck no longer needs a single excuse.


Perhaps Sharron Angle is mentally ill

There must be some reason for this sort of behavior. You’ve got to be a helluva lot more than just a whack Tea Partier to be so insultingly, shamelessly full of shit. Especially considering that teenagers are your entire audience.

Angle, a tea party favorite who has rallied for stricter border enforcement, played down her usual conservative rhetoric in a brief discussion with a Hispanic high school group Friday in Las Vegas. The students asked her to explain her repeated use of TV spots denounced by national pro-immigrant and Hispanic organizations as race-baiting attacks.

They were students at Rancho High School. They had good reason to be concerned: she’s been hammering the ‘illegal alien’ issue to try to pull ahead of Harry Reid in her Senate campaign. These are the sorts of images she’s been flooding Nevada TV channels with:

So you can see why they’d wonder about her. There’s definitely a ‘scary brown people’ theme running through her messaging. I might feel like there were a lot of angry white people staring at me if I were one of these students. So, when she dropped by, they asked her:

Why is it that in all of your commercials you have the image of Latinos? What do you see when you hear, and I quote, “illegal aliens?”

Good question, fair enough. Sharron responded to it by lying to their faces:

I think that you’re misinterpreting those commercials. I’m not sure that those are Latinos in that commercial. What it is, is a fence and there are people coming across that fence. What we know is that our northern border is where the terrorists came through. That’s the most porous border that we have. We cannot allow terrorists; we cannot allow anyone to come across our border if we don’t know why they’re coming.

Those weren’t Latinos. That’s not the Mexican border.

Take a look at the ads’ images again, and then take a look at that answer. In the ‘fence’ video, you can see that it says ‘illegals’, clear as could be. And these are Latinos she’s talking to, telling them that they don’t know what Latinos look like, they must be mistaken. Perhaps she’s mentally ill.

ADD: WOW. Now I’m almost sure of it. Who behaves this way in dealing with a Hispanic Student Union? By accusing some of them of being secretly Asian, what does that prove? How does it help her campaign?


Is it an Easter tradition for Republican Christians to go insane?

Hello all, today is Good Friday. Hail, here comes Easter, just two days from now. Passover was terrific, wasn’t it? For all of our Jewish friends, I assume?

Since we are in a period of high holy days for our familiar religious groups and compatriots, why don’t we celebrate? How about we pull the ice picks out of our freezers and jab them into our skulls? Then we can babble at length like schizophrenics about the imminent destruction of all Judeo-Christian religions, traditions and peoples in America. Because that’s sooooooo totally happening, like right now.

You may be wondering, and you might say, “Hey, I’ve been known to jabber occasionally. Is this guy talking about me?” And I’d say to that: “Who the hell are you talking to — I’m right here.” And then you’d say “OOOH. Hey, man, do you mean me? I’ve run my fingers over my hair and I can’t find any ice-picks or similar pokey-things.”

I would remind you that people with pokey-sticks in their brains are capable of imagining anything, so let’s say we give you an actual test. “WE GIVE YOU AN ACTUAL TEST.” Good!

Following are three posts I pulled off the web. One is a description of a real event, a report. The other two are opinion pieces offered by Conservative Christians. The reporter is sane, the two unfortunates are likely typing in mid-air as paramedics balance the dangers of removing a trans-cranial spike with the awesomeness of the *SCHHLLIIINNG* sound it could make.


Next Year in the White House: A Seder Tradition

WASHINGTON — One evening in April 2008, three low-level staff members from the Obama presidential campaign — a baggage handler, a videographer and an advance man — gathered in the windowless basement of a Pennsylvania hotel for an improvised Passover Seder.

The day had been long, the hour was late, and the young men had not been home in months. So they had cadged some matzo and Manischewitz wine, hoping to create some semblance of the holiday.

Suddenly they heard a familiar voice. “Hey, is this the Seder?” Barack Obama asked, entering the room.

How Easter Ended
by John Andrews

Dear Grandson: I risk writing you this letter in order to pass along some censored history. Today’s America of 2050, officially atheist by law, is a very different place from the “nation under God” of my boyhood in 2010. When you take your first communion in Denver’s underground church on a spring morning once known as Easter, you need to know how this and other holy days disappeared from the American calendar.

Our country at mid-century remains the envy of the world, still fairly prosperous and optimistic, still claiming to be the land of the free and the home of the brave. But I’m sad to tell you that during my lifetime, “brave” and “free” have been redefined so as to disallow any reverence for that power whom our founders called the Creator. Christians and Jews have been made outlaws.

Introducing the Progressives’ Transformation of the 10 Commandments
by Nathan Tabor

President Barack Obama promised during his campaign and inaugural speeches that we would witness a fundamental transformation of America . . With so much on his plate, Obama hasn’t had time to fundamentally charge the very basis of our legal system — the 10 Commandments, as given to the prophet Moses by Yahweh on Mount Sinai.

But rest assured, there will be many — gay activists, atheists, hard-core leftists, etc. — who will eventually get around to fundamentally transforming God’s 10 Commandments.

I. I am your leader, Obama. When I and my minions are around, who needs God?

II. Obama, Pelosi and Reid must be exalted with carved images throughout the nation.

III. Prayer will be banned in public, but praise, song and poetry honoring Obama will be constant.

So begins the story of the Obama Seder, now one of the newest, most intimate and least likely of White House traditions. When Passover begins at sunset on Monday evening, Mr. Obama and about 20 others will gather for a ritual that neither the rabbinic sages nor the founding fathers would recognize.

So hide my letter with your Bible; both are illegal to possess. It is only because your father and mother honor the civil-disobedience tradition of Martin Luther King and ignore the ban on Judeo-Christian writings that you can read the Scriptures at all.

IV. Remember the Sabbath Day. Don’t observe it, simply remember it.

V. Honor thy mother and thy father if they love Obama; otherwise, call child protection services and claim they’ve abused you.

VI. Thou shall not kill or abuse terrorists or criminals, but unborn babies may be killed right up to the moment of their birth.

Guessed it yet?

In the Old Family Dining Room, under sparkling chandeliers and portraits of former first ladies, the mostly Jewish and African-American guests will recite prayers and retell the biblical story of slavery and liberation, ending with the traditional declaration “Next year in Jerusalem.”

. . Instead, young Timothy, your generation grows up in a spiritually-neutered culture that has swiftly taken over what was once the most devout nation on earth. Hence this year of 2050 is punctuated by Bunny Day and Kosher Day on what used to be called Easter and Passover – as it will be by Turkey Day and Santa Day in place of Thanksgiving and Christmas. To silence all theistic echoes, even the secular holidays of Memorial Day and Independence Day have been renamed as Peace Day and Sparkler Day.

VII. Thou shall marry anyone or any creature you wish with the full protection of Obama.

VIII. Thou shall steal from those who work and save and give such bounty to those who are slothful, irresponsible and non-productive.

IX. Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor, unless they refuse to accept Obama as their god and their leader.

X. You shall covet your neighbor’s house. When Obama is done transforming America you will have it.

Okay, which one’s the sane one? I’m bad — I have no idea, I was hoping you could figure it out. It ain’t whoever wrote that “Seder at the White House” thing, because that’s crazy.


rush limbaugh’s completely, thunderously fucking insane pirate spin: obama executes black kids

I am nowhere near accurately hyping this take of his, which is not just one of the most gob-smackingly bananas ever, it must also qualify as the single most neck-breaking u-turn in pundit history. Radio fucknuts obviously hasn’t the ghost of a conscience at all.

Here, to remind you, is how he was hammering the President while the standoff was going on:

“…[p]iracy is rebounding precisely because of the American left and the European left’s lack of intestinal fortitude — gonads, if you will — to categorize these people as they really are and to pursue them on that basis.”

“…enemies of America are friends of the Democrat Party.”

…but now that the crisis is over and the kudos continue to come in for the new President’s handling of the affair, Limbaugh has come up with a radically new insight into the event, to say the least. Frankly, it’s shocking for its banshee-screaming shamelessness, for its complete departure from any previous reality normally associated with Limbaugh and his ‘kill-em-all’ populism:

RUSH: You know what we have learned about the Somali pirates, the merchant marine organizers that were wiped out at the order of Barack Obama, you know what we learned about them? They were teenagers. The Somali pirates, the merchant marine organizers who took a US merchant captain hostage for five days were inexperienced youths, the defense secretary, Roberts Gates, said yesterday, adding that the hijackers were between 17 and 19 years old. Now, just imagine the hue and cry had a Republican president ordered the shooting of black teenagers on the high seas. Greetings and welcome back, Rush Limbaugh, the Excellence in Broadcasting Network and the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies.

They were kids. The story is out, I don’t know if it’s true or not, but apparently the hijackers, these kids, the merchant marine organizers, Muslim kids, were upset, they wanted to just give the captain back and head home because they were running out of food, they were running out of fuel, they were surrounded by all these US Navy ships, big ships, and they just wanted out of there. That’s the story, but then when one of them put a gun to the back of the captain, Mr. Phillips, then bam, bam, bam. There you have it, and three teenagers shot on the high seas at the order of President Obama.

I’m not even sure how to begin taking that apart, it’s so fucking astronomically nuts.

I’ll just say this: look at how he refers to the hijackers now, above. He calls them more frequently ‘merchant marine organizers’ than ‘pirates’. And then, also, these: ‘teenagers, inexperienced youths, black teenagers, these kids, Muslim kids, three teenagers.’

Well, there it is. Don’t ever let anybody tell you this guy is remotely an honest man. He’s just a political hitman, period, no discussion.
Comments: “You are so blatantly ignorant you can’t even see what point Rush is making here. He is making a typical statement a CNN reporter would, had a republican president called this into action. You liberals are all the same. Only see and hear what you want to.”

First: I stopped pretending long ago that Limbaugh does functional satire because the audience, people like you, fall for the outrageous first face as if it were the truth every single time. Rush, at the center of the imbecility, knows this perfectly well, so he uses the device as a way to play both sides while taking responsibility for only one.

Second: The insanely hyper-liberal African-American constituency has done nothing but quietly applaud the action. That would make you and Rush the idiots who are confused about the real world around you. Just because you think it happened before doesn’t make it relevant today–pull your head out of your pucker, blind boy.

More Rush:
They’ve hijacked an additional one now for a total of four today. And, of course, we predicted this yesterday. While bestowing upon Obama all the brilliance and credit he deserved for a brilliant operation, we were very much concerned here that this kind of action against three young teenagers, black Muslim teenagers on the high seas could anger the pirates, merchant marine organizers even more and heighten and increase hijack activity. The left itself warned us of this in Iraq, they said all we’re doing is creating more terrorists. So apparently we’ve created more hijackings on the high seas, in the Gulf of Aden by teenaged black Muslims, the merchant marine organizers.

Even more: KONDRACKE: I think Obama did the right thing. I was in church with him on — same church as — on — on Sunday, and he looked like very preoccupied and now it’s — it’s — it’s apparent why because he was thinking what was going on in the — in the — off Somalia.

RUSH: I was in church with him on Sunday, he looked very preoccupied. He may have looked preoccupied in church on Sunday. Now we know why. He was worried about the order he had given to wipe out three teenagers on the high seas, black Muslim teenagers. I think the way he looked in church, Mort, probably confused that nobody was screaming about how evil America is. That’s what he’s used to hearing in church, and he obviously didn’t hear that.

Where’s the satire, or parody? Or the point? ‘It’s unbelievable that liberals aren’t angry with him?’ ‘You’re an idiot for reading compassion in the face of that heartless son of a bitch, Kondracke.’ ‘Sure, Mort, he was upset because he’s a liberal wuss–so what?’ ‘Amazing how liberals are allowed to kill people, but we can’t.’ Choose amongst the disorganized ‘pick your outrage’ mess that Limbaugh always creates–what’s the point?
Last (poor nag): About playing both sides, this is how he does it: “If only President Obama had known that the three Somali community organizers were actually young black Muslim teenagers, I’m sure he wouldn’t have given the order to shoot. That’s the correct way to look at it. If only Obama had known.” So no matter what side of the false ‘argument’ a caller takes (either the President’s a hypocrite, or his supporters are hypocrites: ‘when did Hussein Obama stop caring about the poor black Muslims?’ or ‘they ripped Bush for doing exactly the same heroic thing’), Limbaugh can just agree. This tactic is exactly why he never takes calls from the left; you point it out, it falls apart.