John McCain thought it would be a media coup. He’d form a clandestine partnership with members of the Syrian opposition. Then he’d slip across the Turkish border to chat revolution and take a few pictures.

U.S. Senator John McCain was photographed with a known affiliate of the rebel group responsible for the kidnapping of 11 Lebanese Shiite pilgrims one year ago, during a brief and highly publicized visit inside Syria this week.

But McCain’s rebel buddy is an international criminal. He’s holding hostages.

According to families of the remaining captives and one of the released men, Anwar Ibrahim, one of the men standing alongside McCain in photographs released by the senator’s office is Mohammad Nour, the chief spokesman and photographer for the Northern Storm kidnappers. Nour appears in several shots where McCain is posing with different officials.

Ibrahim and other members of the kidnapped family said they recognized Nour, and another man affiliated with the group, also identified as “Abu Ibrahim,” immediately after seeing the photos, widely circulated by international media following McCain’s visit.

In America, kidnappers who would do their victims harm get the death penalty. In Syria, they get a public relations bonanza thanks to a U.S. Senator.

I give up. I walk out. I offer all the apologies but I retire with a bit of my self-respect. It’s not like blogging was a decent thing to do anyway. I mean, c’mon, any idiot can bang out this bullshit. It’s not like I applied for the job and some buxom highbrow lady said, “Oh yes, we’re so glad to have you.” Thank you very much, I feel right at home now. A danish? Why, capital.

It is no longer possible to describe the disgrace that is Senator John McCain. Can not be done. Horrible. Detestable. Shocking. Insulting. Offensive. Blighting. Senseless. Farcical. Preening. Scheming. Calculating. Histrionic. Lying. Shameless. Abusive. Cruel. Nasty. Vicious. Corrosive. Destructive. Dangerous. Dumb. Naive. Self-indulgent. Ghastly. Frightening. Menacing. Scary. Careening. Erratic. Unhinged. Slack-jawed. Stupid. Animal. Incompetent. Disastrous. Awful. Worthless. Brutal. Meatheaded. Mechanical. Stiff. Stony. Scolding. Hectoring. Backbiting. Appalling. Atrocious. Despicable. Despised. Dolt. Jerk. Moron. Idiot. Insect.

See:

Surveying a political life highlighted primarily by self-serving cowardice, I have never seen anything quite so disgusting as John McCain’s latest performance. He had the surely personally gratifying duty of vetting yesterday the President’s nominee for Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel.

The most contentious part of his questioning came when he decided to attack Hagel’s opposition to the Surge in Iraq. Briefly, the Surge was a 2007 introduction of around 20,000 additional troops into mostly Baghdad, some into Al-Anbar province, to try to improve the situation in Iraq.

Politically speaking, the Surge is all John McCain’s baby. While other Republicans then were busy talking fecklessly about the brutal and failing war, it was McCain who decided to publicly double down on a dangerous strategy: sending more soldiers. It may not have actually done much, but the timing worked nicely to McCain’s favor as violence began to drop in Iraq in late 2007. McCain used the Surge politically to rally American patriotism and separate himself from the other Republican presidential hopefuls. It’s the one great success in his political life. That’s how he beat out Mitt Romney for the right to lose to the Democrat, Barack Obama, in 2008. Remember that, then watch this bullshit:

How vomit-inducing. McCain has Hagel over a political barrel and everybody knows it. If Hagel disagrees, the petulant McCain will run to the media replaying the trope that the Surge reversed the course in Iraq and won us the glorious war. Republicans will seize the opportunity to rally around McCain and his brilliant strategy, and Hagel’s nomination will be D.O.A.

So John McCain here is only trying to make Chuck Hagel blow him in public. Sorry about the depiction, but that’s the honest truth. He’s shoving Hagel’s head at his crotch to see how badly Chuck wants the nomination. It’s disgusting.

Just how bad is the Romney campaign? It’s hard to say. How do you gauge a trail of warmwater puke? By distance or volume?

These campaigns all have their strengths and weaknesses. The remarkable thing about Romney’s is its 360-degree Achilles heel. The candidate is a terrible speaker, he’s unlikable in person, he doesn’t interest the base, he refuses to address any issue that voters are interested in, and he’s paranoid and secretive about himself. Throw in he’s richer than most porn barons and he gets his politics the same way the rest of us get cologne samples: from bogus magazines. And you, Republicans, have got yourself one stinking candidate.

You would think these alarming facts would rally the believers to his side. You’d think it would make the GOP faithful defend him with every bone in their bodies. Everybody all in, do or die, with fangs bared and instincts razor sharp-ed. Instead, something entirely different has happened. They’ve gone hapless, limp. They’re stupor-stricken. They’ve been Mittified.

“I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes,” [Eric] Fehrnstrom responded. “It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up, and we start all over again.”

Eric really isn’t this stupid. He’s just that sick. He’s spent too much time up close and personal with the Typhoid Mary of Manageitis. The candidate is a continental weather front of business entity. A middle-of-the-menu marathon of oatmeal and 1% milk. A Beacon of Industry (god rest his soul). And Eric is now desperately ill. Ask that sparkplug Dilbert, he knows of what I speak.

[Chuck] TODD: He agrees with the president that it is not [a tax], and he believes that you shouldn’t call the tax penalty a tax, you should call it a penalty or a fee or a fine?

FEHRNSTROM: That’s correct.

Brains. Romney politely went everywhere the next day to label the ACA mandate a ‘tax.’ This electrified the campaign in the only way a talking mackerel can. You really should tell your guy what you want, Mitt, before you throw him out there. Do you know what you want? Do fish have feelings?

“There may have been a thought at the time that [Romney] could be part-time. It was not part-time. The Olympics was in a shambles,” [Ed] Gillespie told Candy Crowley on CNN’s “State of the Union.”

“He took a leave of absence and in fact, Candy, ended up not going back at all and retired retroactively to February 1999 as a result,” Gillespie said.

Ed said this more than once. So it’s spreading. Either the CEO can’t manage his people, or he’s contagious. If you’re keeping them around to harvest their suitable organs, Mitt, forget it. It’s too late.

Asked why he chose not to go with Romney, McCain said: “Oh come on, because we thought that Sarah Palin was the better candidate. Why did we not take Pawlenty, why did we not take any of the other 10 other people. Why didn’t I? Because we had a better candidate, the same way with all the others. … Come on, why? That’s a stupid question.”

Even McCain? Good lord. Well he’s pretty old, and I don’t figure his immune system for much by now. Btw, if a major Republican personality had paid McCain this same compliment in 2008, John would have popped up on the bastard’s doorstep and beat him into a hamburger patty. Mitt will have Eric call and relay the campaign’s thanks.

Representative Joe Walsh of Illinois is taking some heat today. It couldn’t happen to a nicer asswipe. Joe is locked in a tight race with Democratic candidate Tammy Duckworth. And man, is he piss-in-your-Tea-Party-Fruit-of-the-Looms terrified of her. Why?

Because Duckworth is a solid candidate and an intelligent woman. She’s also appealing to the eye. Better than that: she’s like visual catnip to the wingnut Republicans who would support Walsh. As they love the mere appearance of things, they can’t resist this:

A double amputee veteran. This makes Joe furious. This makes Joe lose his mind.

“What else has she done? Female, wounded veteran … ehhh,” he continued. “She is nothing more than a handpicked Washington bureaucrat.”

There she rolls, the typical legless bureaucrat. Well done, Joe. Over the weekend, he really unloaded on this Duckworth person. This military jerk. This self-serving ass:

“Understand something about John McCain. His political advisers, day after day, had to take him and almost throw him against a wall and hit him against the head and say, “Senator, you have to let people know you served! You have to talk about what you did!” He didn’t want to do it, wouldn’t do it. Day after day they had to convince him. Finally, he talked a little bit about it, but it was very uncomfortable for him. That’s what’s so noble about our heroes. Now I’m running against a woman who, my God, that’s all she talks about. Our true heroes, it’s the last thing in the world they talk about.”

Fake hero. Two-armed drama queen. Surgery suite starlet. How many times have you been to rehab there, Britney? Once for a looong time. Yeah, okay. Fuck these Hollywood types, I am sick of them.

First, he falsely and maliciously claims that Tammy Duckworth, a veteran who lost her legs in Iraq didn’t have much of a record of service. Now, he denigrates that same American hero for talking about how her experience shaped her worldview and strengthened her resolve to serve even more – a conversation that isn’t just legitimate to have, but crucial as America charts its course domestically and internationally. This is a new low for this deadbeat dad.

OH Christ almighty, it’s Votevets.org. You wanna piece of Joe, huh? Well, somebody had to do something about all the spending, okay? Joe was willing to sacrifice his children for his politics. Also for a nicer car, with some sweet power windows and keyless remote. And that’s why he’s the real deal, khaki losers.

We are past the point of calling on Joe Walsh to apologize. He should step aside and stop embarrassing his district and America.

Blah blah Army divas. But to Joe’s point: You never see John McCain campaigning on his military service. Or on his sacrifice. Huh? Well?

“. . listen, pal, I spent 22 years in the Navy. My father was in the Navy. My grandfather was in the Navy. We in the military service tend to move a lot. We have to live in all parts of the country, all parts of the world. I wish I could have had the luxury, like you, of growing up and living and spending my entire life in a nice place like the First District of Arizona, but I was doing other things. As a matter of fact, when I think about it now, the place I lived longest in my life was Hanoi.”

See?

Pictured (l to r): The President, Moe the bartender senator

“Why, when I find out who you are, I’m going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt.”

Oh look. The wise man of the sunrise Sabbath’s central broadcast has descended from the green room. Something surely has gone astray. NBC/Universal’s danishes have gone rancid. Rupert’s cheese smells fishy. Some poor page within striking distance of the volcanic Arizona senator flashed him the stink eye, and it’s time to tear her head off. What’s up, John?

Former GOP presidential candidate John McCain said yesterday he fears Republicans will be stuck with a bloodied nominee so sapped by months of campaign attacks that he can’t beat President Obama — even as the party’s four combatants prepare to do battle again today in Michigan and Arizona.

Sniff. Oh Lord Above, why all do they do this? The bitter fighting? The complaining? Disaster approaches. A sailor smart enough to crash every jet he climbed into speaks from on high. I’m warning you: A clown family can only take so much yelling. Or haven’t you noticed all the cannons and bowling pins?

“This is like watching a Greek tragedy,” McCain told the Herald. “It’s the negative campaigning and the increasingly personal attacks … it should have stopped long ago. Any utility from the debates has been exhausted, and now it’s just exchanging cheap shots and personal shots followed by super PAC attacks.”

Can I? May I ask? What for, exactly, buddy? This public tumult? To subject yourself and the tangent Bozos to personal rancor, only to become the most powerful organism in four billion years of planetary history. Really? This is all worth it?

CNN, AP notes:

2 hours ago [1:40 a.m. ET]

WEST DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — Michele Bachmann told a small group of supporters Tuesday night that she’s staying in the presidential race as the only true conservative who can defeat the sitting president, despite a bleak showing in the Iowa caucuses.

The Minnesota congresswoman was running in last place among six candidates as returns came in from the nation’s first Republican presidential nominating contest.

2:33 a.m. ET

Romney won the Iowa caucuses by eight votes, Republican Party of Iowa Chairman Matt Strawn announced. Romney received 30,015 votes and Santorum received 30,007 votes, according to the Iowa GOP.

1 hour ago [2:40 a.m. ET]

Des Moines, Iowa (CNN) – Rick Perry’s “re-assessing” phase will apparently last through the remainder of the week.

After his disappointing fifth place finish in the Iowa caucuses, the Texas governor has scrapped his entire campaign schedule and will return to Austin to ponder whether to forge ahead with his bid.

3:04 a.m. ET

Iowa 2012 was the closest Republican presidential contest in history, beating the 1936 South Dakota primary, won by Alf Landon with a 257-vote margin, according to CNN Polling Director Keating Holland. It’s also the closest Iowa caucus result in history. The previous record was set in 1980, when the elder George Bush beat Ronald Reagan by about two percentage points.

ADD: McCain endorses Romney.

(CNN) – Sen. John McCain of Arizona will throw his support behind Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney on Wednesday, a senior Republican source close to the senator said.

The 2008 Republican presidential nominee will travel to New Hampshire to make the endorsement.

Someone isn’t exactly happy with the Gingrich-ian weather:

The Democratic Party? The Committee for Marriage Fidelity? Tiffany’s accounts receivable? Nope – Ron Paul. More:

A few of Newt Gingrich’s… Not-So-Greatest Hits:

. . In 2007, he accused the Bush administration of fighting a “phony war” on terrorism, and declared “a more effective approach would begin with a national energy strategy aimed at weaning the country from its reliance on imported oil.”

In 2008, he hailed John McCain’s efforts in the crafting of the TARP legislation:

“Gingrich put out a statement hailing McCain’s eleventh-hour intervention. ‘This is the greatest single act of responsibility ever taken by a presidential candidate and rivals President Eisenhower saying, I will go to Korea.’ Eisenhower’s pledge was enough to reassure voters that if elected he would find a way to resolve the Korean conflict. McCain’s high-octane involvement in the bailout is meant to convey the same sense of stature and leadership, and to provide cover to reluctant Republicans to support a deal that runs counter to everything they thought they stood for.”

Mother Jones? Nope – National Review.

Champagne everyone? No more Rushbo? No more Fox anything? No more killing innocent women and children in faraway lands and dubbing it “The Culture of Life”? No more McCain state chairmen offering to blow policemen out of concerns for their own safety?

“Allen has maintained his innocence, stating that he believed the undercover police officer was trying to rob him, and that he only offered to perform oral sex because he felt intimidated by the black and muscular police officer.”

Suddenly, I have mixed feelings.

Mitt Romney as the Nominee: Conservatism Dies and Barack Obama Wins
Posted by Erick Erickson | RedState | Tuesday, November 8th
104 Comments

Good lord, it’s really happening? More please.

Mitt Romney is not the George W. Bush of 2012 — he is the Harriet Miers of 2012, only conservative because a few conservative grand pooh-bahs tell us Mitt Romney is conservative and for no other reason. That is precisely why Mitt Romney will not win in 2012.

When E(-). E(son). Erick Erickson speaks . .

Mitt Romney is going to be the Republican nominee. And his general election campaign will be an utter disaster for conservatives as he takes the GOP down with him and burns up what it means to be a conservative in the process.

. . who cares? In ultra-sensible feed-the-rising-neutrino-with-quarks-beak-porridge speak, the same was said of John McCain:

John McCain: The Anti-Conservative
by Jed Babbin | Human Events | 02/01/08

. . In nuclear physics, every subatomic particle has an opposite. When they collide, they combine to produce another particle that resembles neither. McCain is the political antimatter that collides with conservatism and produces “liberal republicanism.” If John McCain is the Republican nominee, conservatism will be where we were in 1965: having to feed the conservative phoenix rising out of the ashes.

. . and in 1965, sadly, Conservatism died. Except for winning 5 of the next 6 presidential elections, it expired from utter exhaustion, a dearth of semen and an abundance of age (good scotch). Also, bowling trophies.

You will notice in November of 2008 the flag-bearer for Right World ended up being McCain, and he did lose. Less than two centuries later, the Conservatives beat the liberal horde back, delivering ‘baggers into positions across the country, running up the score on President Obama and snarling sensible legislation in the Capitol.

You may notice that Conservatives are slight favorites to win again. You may also notice Mitt Romney is the only candidate with a shot.

MORE: Defenders of The Faith . .

Professional Islamophobe and terrorist object of desire, Pam Geller, just launched a new website:

NotMittRomney.com.

A puzzler. There’s some point to be made about Mitt?

Oh.

The Egyptian Revolution. Hallelujah. Wow. What a thing of beauty, an awesome spectacle.

And what a great reminder of our own shocking, but humble, beginnings. I am struck again by the genius of our Founding Fathers.

Perhaps never before was, never again will be, a statement as brilliant as the Declaration of Independence issued by the rebels while they were rebelling. These were no bargain basements insurgents, these were the best a whole new nation had to offer.

These may have been some of the best a whole new world had to offer. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson remain iconic inspirations to peoples across the globe. There’s a good reason for that: their ideas have stood the test of time.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

They might have been (if you ask me) as famous for these words just as easily, from the paragraph before:

“When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them . .”.

They evoke similar themes. Man is free, thus no one may justifiably trap him in a ‘lesser station.’ His Freedom is a natural thing, like Earth’s gravity. This is always true, it always will be.

Good stuff! Quintessentially American. Taught to all of us from the first years at school, practically wallpapered on our brains. So tell me: why are Conservatives so uncomfortable with it?

The people of Egypt are people, right? Each is endowed with natural rights, no question? So what foreign philosophy have the wingnuts newly embraced here? Why have they forsaken the lucid legacy of the Founding Fathers? Glenn Beck:

This is the coming insurrection. It is. And it is imperative that you get up to speed. Do your own homework. This is not about Egypt. This is about your hometown and your lifestyle. It is important to see what is really going on and what this leads to.

You can just imagine Britons saying the same of us in 1776. John McCain:

This virus is spreading throughout the Middle East. The president of Yemen, as you know, just made the announcement that he wasn’t running again.

This, I would argue, is probably the most dangerous period of history in — of our entire involvement in the Middle East, at least in modern times.

Freedom, the dangerous virus. The poor martinet, on the other hand, dictator of 30 years, he’s a good person, he’s practically American himself. Just ask Dick Cheney:

So he’s been a good man. He’s been a good friend and ally to the United States, and we need to remember that.

Hosni Mubarak: gone after running away with billions of Egyptians dollars, oppressing his people for decades and torturing anybody he didn’t like. So he’s a good man, in Cheney’s eye. Pastor John Hagee:

. . an American ally and closet friend to Israel . . Israel will soon be surrounded by enemies screaming for their blood. Will America support them? Our president certainly has not been supportive of Israel to this point in his administration; why would he change now?

Freedom and human rights mean death to Israel. I wonder if the opposite is really what Israel wants for the world. Sarah Palin ain’t so comfortable with any of this, either:

. . surely they know more than the rest of us know who it is who will be taking the place of Mubarak and I’m not real enthused about what it is that that’s being done on a national level and from DC in regards to understanding all the situation there in Egypt. And in these areas that are so volatile right now because obviously it’s not just Egypt but the other countries too where we are seeing uprisings, we know that now more than ever, we need strength and sound mind there in the White House. We need to know what it is that America stands for so we know who it is that America will stand with. And we do not have all that information yet.

Underpinnings of freedom, anybody? Any of our guiding principles? Constitution, Declaration of Independence, yadda-yadda? Every one of these Patriots has been rendered a nervous babe lost in the woods. Sarah herself, with her mouth in gear and brain in neutral, admits she’d know better what to do if she only she could figure out “what it is that America stands for.” All, clueless or deranged with respect to understanding how to react to the events unfolding in the Middle East.

They weren’t always this way. George W. Bush, 2003, on the approach of democracy:

. . the power of freedom to transform that vital region, by bringing hope and progress into the lives of millions . .

Now that’s what I expect. Very odd — don’t you think? How can they be on both sides of the same issue?

From his studio in Philadelphia, syndicated radio talk-show host Glenn Beck urges Americans to support President Bush and what he characterizes as Mr. Bush’s plan for seeding freedom in the Middle East with the invasion of U.S. troops.

OHHHHH. Now I get it. If WE bring them democracy, it’s terrific. If they get it for themselves, it stinks (and Israel will die). Version 1: 100,000 dead, continuing violence and strife, no government yet installed. Version 2: 300 dead, elation in the streets, oppressive regimes across the Middle East shaking in their boots.

But Conservatives across America aren’t overjoyed, to say the least.

Here, let’s let Byron set the slippery scene:

Pundits and politicians alike praised President Obama’s speech at the Tucson memorial service last Wednesday. “A wonderful speech,” wrote the New York Times’ David Brooks. “A magnificent performance,” wrote National Review’s Rich Lowry. “A terrific speech,” wrote Sen. John McCain.

And those were just the voices on the right.

Oh no! ‘Mr. Hitler is a strong and energetic leader whose resurgent nation appreciates his firm hand’ — AND THOSE WERE JUST THE BRITISH! I’m inventing all this, so I’m no better than York. But I think you get my drift: ‘Black Flag is my favorite soft rock band‘ — THOSE WERE JUST THE APHIDS!

Byron obviously has taken it upon himself to prevent this cynical President from cackling while he spikes the tragedy football in America’s end zone. Someone with a modicum of genius and a teh-TINY-yum backbone might envision Obama doing backflips through victims memorials, or taking the podium to freestyle about that faggot, Boehner:

Rethinking Obama’s political performance in Tucson
Byron York | Washington Examiner | 1/15/11

. . By the time Obama spoke, there was irrefutable evidence that shooting suspect Jared Loughner was deeply mentally ill and acted out of no recognizable political agenda. Obama simply could not have made the case that Loughner’s acts were in any way the product of political rhetoric from right or left.

. . So even as he conceded that rhetoric did not cause the violence, Obama argued that it should be muted anyway. And he cloaked his appeal in so much emotionalism, in so many tear-jerking references to the recently departed, that some in his audience might not have noticed he was making the political point he wanted to make all along.

Sonuvabitch! BASTARD! Backed into a corner, Barack gave the only speech he could have ever given! There were no other speeches to give! But he used it to wangle political points! Wangle is a word!

In Tucson, Obama played good cop to their bad cop by assuring everyone that rhetoric had not motivated the violence. But he still brought up the topic because, he said, it had “been discussed in recent days.” Of course, it would not have been discussed in recent days had his supporters not made so many unfair accusations.

They fell right in his trap!

Some Democratic strategists hope Obama can capitalize on Tucson the way Bill Clinton capitalized on Oklahoma City. Perhaps he’ll be able to, and perhaps he won’t. But he’s already trying.

By pretending not to! The nuclear option!