Tag Archives: muppet

Muppet Lily Lohan tells starving kids not to vomit

Is there anything more detestable than a stuck-up actress?

December 13, 2011
Malnourished Muppets and the indoctrination of America’s children
By Jeannieology | Renew America

Hopping on the bandwagon and hoping to woo the under-five set into the entitlement ‘OWS Gimme’ mentality, Sesame Street has introduced a downtrodden “food insecure” Muppet named Lily, whose voice sounds as if she’s been stricken with hunger-induced low blood sugar . .

. . she oughta sound like a lion after eating a wildebeest. Muppets are some of the biggest celebrities America’s ever had. When ‘hungry’ little ‘Lily’ wobbles out on stage, don’t you buy it: she eats better than Henry VIII. Sure, she’s skinny as a rail and her teeth are falling out of her head, but that’s because she eats Ladyfingers for dessert. Middle and index lady fingers.

At the National Press Club, dressed in a blue dress with matching headband and necklace, America’s first ‘food insecure’ Muppet told a concerned group that despite being able to afford nice clothes she still “worries about her family not having enough money to feed her properly.”

Lord knows how little Lily mustered up the strength to pitch free food at school . .

. . after scarfing Black Truffles Sabayon at The Ivy, I bet. She’s full of shit. And Big Bird downs gummi sours like they were candy. Cookie Monster slams snickerdoodles by the dozen — he doesn’t even eat the damn things. And how many kids go to bed hungry every night in America? I’m appalled.

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