Tag Archives: political

Pro-lifers never more lovable than just now

No, I wouldn’t say that conservatives were bad human beings. I wouldn’t say the Republicans who called Planned Parenthood to “sting” the group because the President mistakenly said they provided mammograms were pathetic. Hell, I wouldn’t say the arrogant hundreds, or thousands, who tied up the group’s phones, playing games with hard working people who only wanted to help others, were miserable brats. No, I wouldn’t say that.

I’d rather compliment LiveAction, the wink-wink clever bunch who really took a chunk out of Obama’s hide when they wasted everybody’s time. I’d also like to join in the mockery of the workers who fell for the political trick. The idiots who answered the phones over and over and over. Explained time and again how they do breast exams but refer people for mammograms. Took the callers’ bullshit questions seriously because they seemed to regard serious issues. And refused to lose their patience. What a bunch of morons, huh? Just look what they got in return — contempt, derision, and laughter. And, luckily, the internet role of a lifetime: pawns in the game of We Nailed Him. You don’t do mammograms, losers. Cram that in your cancer screenings.

So huzzah and congratulations, wingnuttes. Your MAMMOSHAM really showed them.

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Retail poltics left and right: We’re gay, they’re dangerous as hell

Just came across this ad put together by the GOP. They go after the president in this one. They’re betting that a politician who constructs a fundraiser to include New York, scarves and shopping is faggot-y by regular American standards and shouldn’t be president. Maybe someone will see this and go chase Barack out of the White House at the business end of a Colt .99. Somewhere, fate tickles the will of a home-schooled minibike mechanic who masturbates over Dale Earnhardt’s Bible:

My reaction is “You must be kidding.” It’s glitzy fashion week in New York, and the GOP are pointing at a $40 bag? With nail polish in it? It probably costs you $50 to wave at a taxi on Fifth Avenue. Perhaps something went wrong with capitalism overnight? Or maybe Republican fundraising, which is American beyond question, is just better than that, and this is a reminder. $10,000 for a plate of chicken and broccoli beats the hell out of a bag of Petal Pink. When you dispose of your donation the next morning, you can exclaim “Much better!” when you pull the handle.

That’s not a couple of Jacksons insultingly spent. That’s not the latest outrage in the Great Recession. What’s outrageous is the way rich, disgusting Republicans attack the people who are cleaning up their disaster: by calling them disgusting and rich.

The GOP is annoyed we’d “host a ritzy NYC fashion show while 12 million Americans remain out of work?” What about putting those 12 million people out of work? How’s that for bad? If you were honest or gave a damn about anybody but yourselves, Republicans, you’d have offered a decade-long apology and lashed Phil Gramm to the pillory so we could piss on him walking home from the bar. YOU CAUSED THIS MESS.

And to pretend that anybody’s richer or dumber than you is some kind of prank. Your 2012 nominee for president is probably worth more than half the countries in Africa. The Koch brothers will funnel $200 million of their money into elections to select idiots who will strip away environmental protections and welcome global warming. Karl Rove will cram upwards of $240 million into this election cycle to favor people who promise to hate gays, bomb Iran and rub your nose in the gospel of Bizarro Jesus. Newt Gingrich, civilizer of our black children, would have been blown out of these finishing school talent shows if Shelly Adelson weren’t capable of signing $5 million checks in his sleep.

All Sheldon wants is that Jerusalem be recognized as Israel’s capital and that we invade Iran. Newt, of course, has publicly promised to do the former mere hours after he takes the oath of office. What he’s promised in secret we can look forward to finding out. This is traditional Republican politics. Nail polish is harmless.

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Wednesday! Wednesday! Wednesday! Christian cartoon squares off against Richard Dawkins

These are fun to look at. A cartoonist named ‘Dale’ contributes to the badly written, comma-ridden loon grotto Renew America. The scribbles posture as definitive take-downs of liberalism.

This particular one wipes Richard Dawkins off the planet:

Spreading his venom for God to kids under the guise of Scientism is about as putrid as it gets. Children using simple God-given logic conclude the existence of a creator. It requires an abandonment of logic to attain self omniscience and declare there is no God. The materialist’s faith in the escape hatch of “there just wasn’t enough evidence for me” won’t wash on judgement [sic] day. Here’s a book idea: The ghost of Christopher Hitchens, Jacob Marley style, appears to Richard Dawkins and sets him straight. Dickey would probably make a hash of it, too bad Hitchens isn’t still around to write it. –Dale



It’s some measure of God-terror that Dale prays the courageous and recently deceased Hitchens be his cowering pal. Christian class, thy name is ‘Inkboy.’

How about we ‘shorter’ this?

1.) “Richard Dawkins is just too stupid to be Christian.”

2.) “Nothing plus 4.6 billion years equals ‘sheer madness.’ Eternal plus 4 thousand years equals ‘stone cold logic.'”

3.) “Clay can’t see or hear you, so it can’t possibly know you exist. But it better say you have a big dick or you’ll smash it.”

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I like this Mitt Romney. I’ll have two.

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Kallie Durkit: . . as a college student, many people in my generation find it especially hard to relate to you as a candidate. Why should we mobilize for you as a candidate instead of Obama, which we did in 2008?

Mitt Romney: What I can promise you is this. When you get out of college, if I’m president, you’ll have a job.


Kallie: “Anything more?”

Mitt: “Yes. I will pet you and love you and hug you. I will hold you fast against the softest of my sweaters until the tears finally come and the song of my beating heart lulls you into slumber. That’s when my team will transfer you into a hyperbaric Ambien vapor/amyl nitrate chamber where autoclaved sex workers, working inside and around the clock, will softly ride your swollen sex parts and eskimo-kiss your cheeks. This will continue until the orgasm focus of your brain chars black. Gurneyed into Amusement Care, you will gently awaken over a three-to six-month period and after having your eyelids removed. You’ll then be fed on a continuous low-titer IV LSD drip while viewing Ghostbusters on a 500-foot IMax screen for eternity. Meatball sandwiches, pints of Guinness, catheters and bedpans will be clean, plentiful, hot and/or cold and free of charge. In addition, Kallie?”

Kallie: “Yah?”

Mitt: “Don’t try to run away. There won’t be any point. My staffers will have taken over your life, erased your name and identity, incinerated your apartment in a low-yield tactical strike, fed your belongings into our campaign’s portable Z Machine, swept your family members away into witness protection or political patronage and updated your Facebook status to ‘Kaput.'”

Kallie: “Wow.”

Mitt: “Well you deserve it. Also – the war’ll be over.”

Kallie: “COOL.”

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Evangelicals feeling left out of the Tucson massacre #5 (Roe v. Wade edition)

It had to sink to this point eventually. Arizona State Senator Linda Gray, on how to prevent another spree shooting:

Training of people to respect human life. It is ironic that today today is the day 38 years ago that the Supreme Court said we do not have to respect the life of an unborn and we have gone through now more then a generation of people, a large number of people who believe that it is fine to take an infant prior to it being born and to kill it. What type of respect is that for human life? So now we have this generation of people who have that idea and it continues on, that why respect life if we can kill an infant who can’t defend themselves. It goes back to the value in the creation of life and the respect for that life and if your not trained and have that type of character in realizing that all human life deserves respect this is what our country has come to.


So — have you been properly trained? How can you tell? Well, have you killed anything? Okay.

Linda is not unnecessarily political, or petty:

Congratulations to my opponent on the announcement they are expecting a baby. God’s blessing for your growing family. While their recent mailers of piercing words of untruthfulness hurt, it is nothing compared to what was endured by Christians in the latest book I read called Tortured for Christ by Wurmbrand. Please read the book and realize the great freedoms in our Constitution . .

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This Sarah Palin would slap the bitch out Lindsay Graham’s mouth

Found this interesting bit of Conservative propaganda art on the Renew America website. The artist is a talented guy you can track down by going to the ‘DaleToons’ link.

It’s Sarah Palin:

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Great image.

Look at it for a bit, and you’ll probably pick up on some fascinatin’ stuff.

The forward, muscular arms, broad shoulders and the thin waste. The beefy legs and long feet. Sit with it for an another minute and you’ll also see that her upper torso is immensely long. Greatly extended, like an NFL receiver’s, or an extra from Avatar. The image presents an incredibly long and athletic build. This is a man.

The sturdy post she’s sitting on? How could you miss it? I assume the artist meant to compliment her on her spunky, open sexuality. And, of course, there are the shotgun shells in her crotch, buttressed by her splayed legs. The legs of a powerful man, but there they are.

Last: if you ignore the outlined head by her left elbow, the snake’s body forms a great pair of tusks for an African elephant. When I first saw it, I swore she’d put down a tree stump on the lifeless and unseen head of an animal she’d just bagged on safari. What a great metaphor for the future of the GOP.

Other than that, it’s an image dripping with what Conservatives want to see.

sarah love

I’ve been working in the L.A. art community for, oh, 12 years. I’ve probably handled 100,000 pieces of art, installed maybe 10,000 of those, and I can tell you: this is the single greatest statement of the pulchritude and power of transvestites I have ever seen.

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More Conservatives and Comedy Autism, 12/19 edition

Here we go again:

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Eric Allie, a regular. Running with the meme that Obama threatened to close Offutt Air Force Base unless Ben Nelson voted for the healthcare bill. Does anyone understand why Eric made the ‘threat’ a bleeding file? And why did he write ‘CHANGE’ on the floor? Next time just put a horse’s head in the bed and mark it ‘Offutt AFB.’


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Oh the satire. Ahmadinejad mocks and assaults Obama for five panels. After that, Allie puts words in Obama’s mouth to make him look stupid. Then he blasts Obama for saying such stupid things. What, Eric, too chickenshit to draw Obama shooting himself in the face?


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Everybody knows the economy’s bad. So take that Obama. Steve Kelley’s about as witty as it gets. Watch:


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Hoo.


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Stop.


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You’re killing me. Why would a grown man sit on Santa’s lap? To hear him say ‘Ho’, so that they can say ‘Where?’ These conserva-drawers were obsessed with Tiger. Sadly, they haven’t yet figured out how to draw black people (they never will):
(more…)

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Conservatives and Comedy Autism: more political cartoons that mystify

It is a puzzle, the conservative sense of humor. I can’t tell you how often these ‘cartoons’ leave me absolutely bewildered. Obviously it somehow makes sense to them, and that’s even more puzzling.

Once again, part of a semi-regular installment, it’s ‘Conservatives and Comedy Autism’…


Eric Allie is a regular. And he can’t spell. Pelosi is an image ‘consutant’, and she’s working with Hitler because I have no idea. Couple years back, some liberal jerk could have made this exact same cartoon, but with Tom DeLay instead of Pelosi. It would have been just as random and hilarious.


Larry Wright is so obviously funny…


…and he gets funnier all the time.


Now there’s a burning issue. Gary Varvel.


This guy, Wayne Stayskal, might be the biggest mystery of all…


I don’t see any problem with an airplane in space. You?
(more…)

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Birther Queen Orly Taitz files against sanctions for being ‘political’ and ‘frivolous’: “This is a ‘political lynching.'”

This is one of the funniest filings I have ever read. Not that I read (or understand) a lot of these, but this is so non-legal-ese, so petulant, stupid and self-referential as to be good comedy.

First, she filed a bunch of ‘birther soldier’ lawsuits that claimed… Obama was not President–> not Commander-in-Chief–> unable to issue valid orders–> her soldier clients aren’t bound to serve in the current military.

An annoyed U.S. District Court Judge, Clay Land, threw the suit(s) out:

First, Plaintiff’s challenge to her deployment order is frivolous. She has presented no credible evidence and has made no reliable factual allegations to support her unsubstantiated, conclusory allegations and conjecture that President Obama is ineligible to serve as President of the United States. Instead, she uses her Complaint as a platform for spouting political rhetoric, such as her claims that the President is “an illegal usurper, an unlawful pretender, [and] an unqualified imposter.”…

Taitz, who clearly does not take her ‘officer of the court’ privelege seriously, ranted publicly:

“…somebody should consider trying [the judge] for treason and aiding and abetting this massive fraud known as Barack Hussein Obama.”

“This is so outrageous what this judge did — it goes in the face of law and order,” said Taitz, reached at her office in Mission Viego, CA. “Not every judge is as corrupt as Judge Land. Some judges believe in the Constitution. And some judges believe in the rule of law.”…

“I’m not afraid of sanctions. Because I know this is not frivolous. I know this is extremely important — the most important issue in this country today.”

“Judge Land is a typical puppet of the regime — just like in the Soviet Union,”

The judge, in a 43 page statement, then sanctioned her $20,000:

Regrettably, the conduct of counsel Orly Taitz has crossed these lines, and Ms. Taitz must be sanctioned for her misconduct. After a full review of the sanctionable conduct, counsel’s conduct leading up to that conduct, and counsel’s response to the Court’s show cause order, the Court finds that a monetary penalty of $20,000.00 shall be imposed upon counsel Orly Taitz as punishment for her misconduct, as a deterrent to prevent future misconduct, and to protect the integrity of the Court.

So, having gotten her butt roundly spanked by the court, has she become chastened? Given up on her angry, ‘frivolous’ attacks? Has she come to realize that her case needs to be far more substantial, far more legally compelling? Has she managed to construct even an ort of an argument on her clients’ behalf? Or found a mote of evidence to give the court any reason to re-consider her case? Or will she just return to blasting the judge for all the awful things he keeps doing to ‘her’? Acting like the unhinged idiot she appears to be?

“…Judge Land’s actions that amounted to misstating or misrepresenting ninety percent of what was presented in the pleadings and arguments, completely ignoring ninety percent of the arguments and facts, making extremely rude and demeaning remarks, showing bias; taken together, appear to be designed to silence her, and intimidate her and above all, punish her for what the Court perceived as political rather than “core” constitutional questions.

Judge Lands remarks amounted to nothing short of a political lynching, which turned into a feast and celebration by the media mob…”


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Conservative website ‘Atlas Shrugs’, the one-stop shopping mart for all your Axis of Evil finger puppet needs

Have you noticed how greedy the right-wing sites are getting? They are not messing around with their perhaps money-making potentials, they are going whole-hog on the ads and marketing. They don’t care at all what it looks like to anyone reading the sites, every penny’s gonna get squeezed out of the place. Find it distracting to try to digest the political opinion with all the third-party marketing opinion thrown in? Tough.

If you go to Townhall, it’s almost impossible to move about the site with all the frozen screens and pop-ups. Limbaugh’s site is like a carnival or Vegas barker’s wet dream: neon reds blaring at you from every angle.

And now comes a somewhat newer ad phenomenon. I caught this originally at World Net Daily, the site recently famous for foisting the bogus Obama birth certificate online, breaking the hearts of thousands and thousands of wingnuts.

They’re ads embedded in the text of the post as hotlinks. Instead of an idea, person, or breaking story being highlighted as a link for you to follow in order to pick up some background information or fill in some tangential issue, it’s just a random ad-link that picks a word or phrase to divert traffic to a barely related product.

This is what it looks like, roughly: “Two U.S. journalists who had been detained by North Korea were traveling back to the United States with former President Clinton hours after being pardoned, a Clinton spokesman said…” And if you clicked the ‘traveling’ link (mine, just a fake) you’d go to Travelocity.com, or Travelers Insurance, or some such thing.

To say that it pretty much kills any idea that political opinion or analysis is written for its own sake is fair. It also makes for some hilarious contrasts, the purposes of angry ‘intellectual’ Conservatives and retailers not being identical.

The latest idiots to debase their website are the moneymakers over at Atlas Shrugs. And wasn’t that John Galt a hell of a shill? I was reading their angry take on Bill Clinton the American backstabber when I got fascinated with all the embedded links. Here are some screenshots.




“. . . I was feeling a little down about my unsuccessful efforts to buy a white house in my neighborhood when I decided to distract myself by reading up on the efforts of the traitor Bill Clinton to abuse America. Only halfway into the article, I noticed the ‘White House’ link and clicked to see what it was about. Lo and behold, Coldwell Banker had just the white house I wanted–in my neighborhood and at a price I could afford! Two days later, I finally got what I wanted. Thanks Atlas Shrugs and Coldwell Banker–you’re the best.”

Incidentally, when you click on the link, it switches you over to the ad’s website and you can’t get back. The back arrow to Atlas is dead, you’re stuck. In other words, Atlas will feed the ads traffic, but, in ‘return’, the ads cut off readers. One serves only to feed the other.

But then, who doesn’t love finger puppets?




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