Tag Archives: redstate.com

Generically unhinged RedState blog post . .

Illegal Immigration Proponents Support Slavery
Posted by Lori Ziganto
Wednesday, May 12th at 5:15PM EDT

Illegal immigration is another area where the true racist and misogynistic tendencies of Liberals/Leftists appear.

Hello! I heard my name — what’s up? OH, another RedState whackjob. *sigh*

Racism and misogyny, yup, that’s us. Can I go now?

. . they are currently more concerned with demonizing the state of Arizona and it’s new illegal immigration law than they are concerned with protecting the rights of citizens. They’ve also proven that they care not one whit about the people coming here illegally. They aren’t human beings to them; they are merely political pawns and cheap labor.

They’re not even pawns, they’re lumps of coal. I collect and burn them for Winter heat. Okay, that’s us — now can I bail?

. . What isn’t mentioned ever? Concern for The Children ™ who are suffering due to strained medical and educational resources.

Wow, you really are A Strange One.™ Yes, we’re The Haters Of The Children.™ I’m off now, I have to go strangle some . .

Apparently, having their lawns manicured and their tables bussed cheaply means more to the left than the human beings providing such services. Why have legal immigrants when you can have illegal ones as figurative slaves, huh, left? Nor do they show concern For the Women, who are brought here, smuggled in illegally, as slaves.

. . yes, and I enjoy killing them all, the immigrants, The Lumps™, the slaves, the little girls in their pink jumpers, fingers all sticky from candy. Kill, kill, kill. I’m Murder, Inc.™ We’re done?

. . the left doesn’t care. What’s a little enslavement and forced prostitution if it gets us some cheap labor and more bodies at the ballot box?

Non-citizens can totally vote in America. Sorry: AMERICA!™ The pawns and the slaves and The Dead Children™ vote by the billions all the time every day. If they move or breathe or eat a taco, it’s a vote.

And this is what we do: we round up all their votes, and we hate on them and enslave them and prostitute them and murder them and burn them for heat. And you know what? *BOING* The votes themselves suddenly start voting. For us. That’s how it works! I’m tired of this — end of this post, please . .

I also believe in human dignity and the sanctity of life. As such, unlike the left, I recognize illegal immigration for what it is:

The new slavery.

The new Holocaust, and we’re Adolf Hitler. Go on, say it.


The right-wing begin to rehabilitate offshore drilling, the disaster and themselves

It’s as predictable as the sun rising in the morning. Once exposed and embarrassed, once pushed into the spotlight for being horribly, perfectly wrong, somebody’s got to start repairing the facade of Conservative philosophy. It can’t be as stupid and reckless as we say it is.

So, one by one, the brave and the callow and the fearless crawl out from the woodwork to come up with whatever excuses they can to rehabilitate the brand and its brilliant proponents.

So, here we go again. There are almost no sea animals dead — have you seen any? It’s not so bad, c’mon . .

Oil Spill Reality Check
Posted by Vladimir
Monday, May 3rd at 6:31PM EDT

Hmmm. Seen any more pictures? Me either. .

What gives? . .

1. Natural wave action will aerate and break up the slick. Chemical dispersants are being applied to speed up the process.
2. The oil is lighter than the Alaskan crude from the Valdez spill, and hence is more prone to evaporate.
3. The source of this spill is in open water some 50 miles from the nearest land, so the dispersants, the responders and Mother Nature have some time to do their thing before landfall.

If we apply a few calculations, we can figure out how dispersed the oil might be.

BP’s estimate is that the well is making some 5,000 barrels of crude oil per day. For convenience, we’ll say the well has been […] foot per acre. Spread uniformly over the entire 50 mi x 50 mi area, that would equate to a layer of oil 0.00007 inches thick.

And that’s if none of the oil has evaporated, which it has.

SEE? It’s nothing, pffft.

Hey – by the way — if we stop offshore drilling, the spilling of oil and the environmental damage will only get worse . .

Monday, May 03, 2010
We’re Not Quitting Oil
Steve Hayward

Judging from the triumphant tone of the e-mails I’m getting from indignant environmentalists about the oil spill in the Gulf, I’d have to say they are having the most fun since the ExxonValdez. After all, the greens were slowly losing ground to expanded domestic oil and gas production, and now they have a catastrophe to reinvigorate their philosophy of No. As many have observed, this spill is the Three Mile Island/Chernobyl of offshore drilling, and will likely set back further offshore drilling for decades, unless we find out there was some truly extraordinary human error, negligence, or unprecedented equipment failure. Even sabotage wouldn’t get Big Offshore Oil off the hook; after the 1984 chemical catastrophe in Bhopal, India, was determined to have been an act of sabotage, the political hysteria over chemical plants was unabated.

Absolutely perfect timing. This ‘sabotage’ gambit about Bhopal is something right wingers love to pull out of their asses. It has never been substantiated and neglects to admit that the chemical plant was in wretched condition and dangerous as hell.

What is clear is that the overall risk of environmental harm will likely increase from the reaction to this. Why? In the first place, it means we’ll import more oil — by tanker. Over at that other conservative magazine, I offer some thoughts on how the risk of oil spills from tankers is still much larger than the risk from offshore drilling . .

Accepting offshore drilling and its spills is better for the environment. See? It’s all so easy to understand, you people are upset for nothing.

Lastly: let’s face it, let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we? I bet you liberals just blew the rig up . .

May 3, 2010
Was the BP oil platform explosion an accident, or…?
By JR Dieckmann

Maybe it’s just me, but I find the devastating explosion of a BP oil rig, and resulting oil spill, in the Gulf of Mexico at this particular time somewhat suspicious. These kinds of explosions are extremely rare. In fact, there have been only two similar incidents in recorded history as far as I can determine . .

Next up: the rig itself was liberal, and it failed exactly as they predicted . .


Until now, America had asked so little of Erick Erickson’s ass

On the Radio at 6:00 a.m.
Friday, April 2nd
Posted by Erick Erickson

From 6:00 am ET to 9:00 am ET, I’ll be on the radio.

Yesterday, I spent a good bit of time imploring people to fill out their census form, but then addressed this article in the Weekly Standard about the American Community Survey. ACS Surveyors are getting belligerent and have showed up on people’s doorsteps to harass them and threaten jail. I said if some ACS person showed up on my doorstep to try to arrest me for not wanting to tell the government how often I flush my toilet I’d get out my wife’s shotgun and get them off my property.

The only purpose of the Census Bureau’s more detailed effort, the American Community Survey, is to take pictures of you on the toilet. It’s all part of the government’s “American Commode Life” Christmas exhibition at the Smithsonian.

In anticipation of it, pardon my perhaps indelicate question, but: Erick, do you . . well . . *ahem* . . wipe down there? You never can tell with cranky Republicans, it being the sort of thing Healthcare Hitler smiles upon. You might redouble your efforts in that capacity seeing as how you’ll soon be hog-tied with your head in the crapper and your butt in the air for some close-ups. Start by walking down to the corner Rite-Aid, say “Excuse me — do you have any Charmin? Or perhaps a boiling hopper of acetone? Just for me?

Otherwise, don’t be too surprised to end up on the cover of the gallery catalog, with your blotchy skin and copious sideburns being the evening’s fascination.

Uncle Doody


Now that you Conservative sleuths have exposed all our liberal conspiracies, what can I do but confess?

I take off my beret to you, Conservative Columbos. I wish I could say it was all a misunderstanding on your part, it was just your indulging a fitful imagination, you and your ‘crazy talk.’ I would have loved to pull out an old chestnut like that one, but, look, you’ve just got us beat.

It’s time that we did what we never, ever do–tell the truth. And that is this: you have us cold. Yes, we did it. We were trying to damage you. We were trying to embarrass you. We were trying to knock down your nation, the United States of America. And, in so doing, we were hiding the shocking truths about our sordid political ambitions and lives from getting out into the world where horrified Americans would recoil at our hanging around, asses stuffed with balloons of heroin, wallets spilling over with kiddie porn and all. But you found us out, and you exposed us, and you put a stop to our best-laid plans to tear this nation apart. We, after poring over the broken pieces, would be assembling Iranian centrifuges with the remains right about now.

But first, there was the “Stop The Charlie Brown Christmas Special and its Christian Wholesomeness” project. As you know, Charles Schulz’s animated transformation of The Living Bible is a ringing endorsement of the Republican Party, so we figured we’d do something about it.

And we did: we contacted the White House to coordinate an attack on its airing. The President himself decided that he’d schedule a needless speech, at some place like West Point, addressing some odd thing like the War in Afghanistan, opposite the cartoon special in order to get the networks to pre-empt it, blacking the Conservative sermon out.

Yeah, but didn’t you see through that quickly? Republican stalwart and not-at-all-ironically named Mayor of Arlington, Tennessee, Russell Wiseman, called it immediately.

“Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch ‘The Charlie Brown Christmas Special’ and our muslim president is there, what a load…..try to convince me that wasn’t done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation about it….w…hen the answer should simply be ‘yes’….”

DAMN YOU, Wiseman, you’re a pest. You Jesus protecting Sonuvabitch. We’d only begun to explore the possibility of staggering the speech’s TV broadcasts across time zones in order to block Charlie Brown nationwide, instead of only on the eastern seaboard. We thought we’d just start by annoying the Peanuts faithful in Tennessee, but Russell was too smart for that. We’ll remember this, buddy.

“…you obama people need to move to a muslim country…oh wait, that’s America….pitiful.”

charlie-brown-christmasAAAUUGH–Wiseman again, throwing darts right between our eyes. Yes, we’ve turned your America into a filthy Muslim coven, now, for the love of Saddam, stop mentioning it.

That was bad enough, but then you all figured out this one, too: we have been bastardizing Google. We’ve had our filthy Lucy-diddling fingers all over the innernets’ most famous search engine.

We just couldn’t stand the way you’ve been knocking down our pet projects, one by one, by getting our secrets out on the web. Your writers, pols, and, especially, your bloggers have been frankly too intuitive and too quick for us to handle.

So we knew we had to corrupt the Googly. We called up the proprietors, whoever the hell they are, and told them that searches for popular right-wing terms had to get jerked around from now on. And they said “Well, we are a pioneering internet company, thus, we enjoy the butt sex. Done!”

But only minutes after our “TripleX/Gomorrah/QueryBang 1.0” program launched, the whole scheme got exposed:

“…So it took an anonymous tipster to set me off on a brewing bit of fraud going in in the Google search service: They are ham-handedly altering the suggested search terms in order to promote a coverup of ‘Climategate.’…

But Google wants us to believe nobody is searching for Climategate despite it being such a big story, but I have evidence that it’s merely a coverup for political purposes.

My evidence is in the behavior of the feature itself. Watch what happens if you type in Climatega, nearly typing in the entire word Climategate:


Well that’s odd. Nobody’s searching for climategate at all. But wait: It’s not showing me words that start with Climatega. Rather, it’s showing me words that start with Climategua. Seems like a bug, right? Like those letters got pointed to the wrong place, almost.

Let’s back it up a letter and type in Climateg…

…still no climategate. Let’s back up another letter:


Well what do we have here? Climate gate scandal. (more…)