Tag Archives: republican

I for one welcome our New Jersey overlord

Breathe. Breathe. Pause. Read.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie told Kentucky Republicans on Saturday that President Barack Obama was “posing and preening” instead of working to resolve pressing issues facing the country.

“He is the most ill-prepared person to assume the presidency in my lifetime,” Christie told some 600 Kentucky Republicans at a Lexington hotel. “This is a guy who literally is walking around in a dark room trying to find the light switch of leadership.”


George Washington Bridge lane closures


The World’s Greatest Politician

When dark skies rain down, and a storm tears across the land. When the nation is under attack while its leaders only are staggered by division, and chaos. When the strong have grown pale, and the children cry out. And now the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. In these dismal days, when a hero is seemingly nowhere to be found, America could use a real man.

It’s time for The World’s Greatest Politician.

‘Dangerous’ Lindsey Graham vents frustrations
By JOHN BRESNAHAN | 10/12/13 3:12 PM EDT

Sen. Lindsey Graham is angry. He’s frustrated. He’s upset. In his own words, he’s “very dangerous.”

Lemme guess. Am-Ex canceled his Centurion card and there’s a sale on Danskins?

“You can blame us [Republicans], we’ve overplayed our hand, that’s for damn sure,” Graham said. “But their response, where the president and [Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid] basically shutting everybody out, and when you try to negotiate, they keep changing the terms of the deal … it’s very frustrating.”

“This is a very frustrated Lindsey Graham,” he added. “Which is a very dangerous thing.”

Grrr. Mr. Snickers is angry. Nobody likes Mr. Snickers when he’s angry. He barks incessantly until he catches a glimpse of something furry in the hallway mirror. Then he piddles himself running circles around the living room, like his butt was on fire. Which it could well be.

By Saturday afternoon, Graham suggested he may try to attach a version of Sen. David Vitter’s (R-La.) amendment ending health-care subsidies for lawmakers and congressional staffers to any Reid-McConnell agreement. Graham knows it’s a potential poison pill for any deal, but he is that unhappy right now.

“I am going to look at offering the Vitter language on anything that comes out of the Senate,” Graham told reporters. “If we’re going to screw up the whole country, we might as well throw ourselves in the mix.”

This is the sort of thing a dangerous man would warn you about. If you can’t come to an agreement without me, I’m going to step in and pooh-pooh the whole thing. And don’t any of you dare call him “Drama Queen.” But if the sobriquets of “Zeus” and “Thor” were to be knitted on a couple throw pillows (ecru please, to match the drapes) Lindsay wouldn’t spurn your appreciation. You’re a prince – really, you are.

Graham had just come off the Senate floor where at least 15 senators huddled in bipartisan group discussing the current state of play and how to break the deadlock.

“There were how many, 15 people? There were 13 ideas,” Graham joked. “Two guys didn’t have an idea. They were the smart ones. They were the ones that kept their mouths shut.”

Graham then excused himself to go home and watch a football game.

And get in a few reps pressing his iron reputation, man.


Shat from the shutdown, no. 5 (the many untenables)

The right-wing tries to justify the shutdown. An ongoing series.

Day six of the Great Republican Shutdown. People are out of work, people are depressed, they’re angry, they’re shocked, incredulous, furious, past frustrated. This is a bad, no-good situation. This can’t go on.

But don’t you worry. It’ll all be over soon. The Democrats will give in any minute now, and everything will be fine. Why is that? Because its untenable. Got that? It’s untenable. Whatever do you mean? I mean that it’s untenable. Democrats are blah blah untenable. Good lord. Please stop saying that. I can’t, it’s untenable. Nancy Pelosi Obamacare individual mandate insider favor crony capitalism political gamesmanship Harry Reid subsidy. It’s untenable. Stop it! Stop saying the word over and over. It won’t solve anything! Screw that, sing along with the crowd: It’s untennnabllleee. Scoooby dooooo. It’s untennnabllleee. Doobie waaaaahhh, all the tenation can’t go ooooonnn. Okay I give up. Told you so. C’MON EVERYBODY. IT’S! UNTENABLE! And remember, after the storm, or the sunset, and all that, far out past the railroad tracks, where the talk isn’t cheap and the rubber really hits the road, they both fish and cut bait right next door to wherever the boys are playing to beat the band, and I regret to inform you now that, sadly, it’s . . untenable.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor is predicting that Democrats will cave under the GOP strategy.

“I firmly believe their position is untenable,” Cantor wrote in a memo obtained by Yahoo News.

It’s untenable.

[Sen. Ted] Cruz reminded the audience that House Republicans have passed multiple “narrowly targeted continuing resolutions” to fund parts of the government as negotiations continue, but he criticized Democrats for refusing to pass them.

He said Senate Democrats are “dug in.”

“We are in the midst of a battle,” Cruz said. “Their position is untenable right now.”

Untenable number two.

[Rand] Paul also accused Democrats of stopping funding and rejecting Republican proposals because “they think it’s a parlor game.”

“We’re trying to fund government and they’re trying to stop any funding because they think it’s a parlor game and they’ll win politically, but they’re not willing to negotiate and I think that’s an untenable position,” Paul said.

Rand Paul one, untenable position three.

Paul shot back that the Democrats are “defying what the normal history of compromise” has been in Washington. “Their intransigence really is keeping the government shut down.” He added later, “When we have a divided government, it means we have to get together and negotiate. The fact that they won’t negotiate I think really is untenable.”

Rand Paul two, non-negotiation untenable number one.

In Republican congressional leaders’ media event, staged sitting on one side of a table in the Capitol to signify their willingness to enter into talks, House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan of Wisconsin described the debt limit as the likely catalyst for a deal.

“It’s untenable not to negotiate,” Ryan said. “I’ve always believed it was the debt limit that would be the forcing action.”

Paul three, Ryan one, non-negotiation untenable two.

“At the end of the day, for us to speculate what Prince Harry [Reid] might do?” [Rep. Tim] Huelskamp added. “What is his plan? All they have said—Prince Harry and Mr. Obama–is ‘we’re not going to compromise. We’re not going to negotiate.’ That is a position that is untenable and most Americans would recognize that you can’t get everything you want, Mr. President.

Huelskamp one, Tim one, untenable position number four, non-negotiation two and a half.

Asked by Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace if the president could stick to that position, Will replied: “Here’s the position he would be sticking to: Default would be catastrophic — world-wide depression, political chaos, locusts, plagues, et cetera. But attach to the debt-ceiling construction of the Keystone pipeline, it’s better to have locusts, plagues, crisis, and war. It’s an untenable position.”

Political chaos one, world-wide depression one, plagues two, locusts two, positions three, non-four letter ‘c’ words four, untenable position number five. These people are like a caucus of myna birds. Untenable! Skrawk! Not tenable! Skrack! Whistle.


Shat from the shutdown, no. 4 (Rich Lowry)

The right-wing tries to justify the shutdown. An ongoing series.

Day 4 of the Delay Obamacare Stalemate. It’s not going well for Republicans.

On day three of the partial government shutdown, a new CBS News poll reveals that a large majority of Americans disapprove of the shutdown and more are blaming Republicans than President Obama and the Democrats for it.

Fully 72 percent of Americans disapprove of shutting down the federal government over differences on the Affordable Care Act; just 25 percent approve of this action.

Senior GOP officials are furious. Big Business CEOs and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce have lined up firmly with the president. Republican deep-pocket donors have thrown up their hands and begun to walk away. And, perhaps most distressingly, because the extortion scheme was orchestrated in a haphazard way, it’s become impossible for the conspirators to back out without suffering serious political damage. Now would be a good time for National Review to swoop in and save the day.

There’s no need for Republicans to panic. The government shutdown is not some kind of crisis for American governance (although it certainly does not count as best practices either), or for the party. It always seemed unlikely to produce major Democratic concessions, though, and it still does.

Gee, thanks. You’re being very helpful.

Conservatives should therefore calmly assess the options now available to them. As they do so, they should continue to advocate bills to fund portions of the government, such as the National Institutes of Health, countering the media/Democratic spin about Republicans’ intransigence.

Which the Democrats have all blocked. Without consequence. Anything else?

An alternative that appears to have the support of Speaker John Boehner is to negotiate a “grand bargain.” Republicans would get tax reform, entitlement reform including changes to Obamacare, and other desired reforms . . [but] The politics of this adventure seem impossible: The parties are just too far apart on these issues.

No prospect there. You’re an invaluable resource. Anything else?

A modest bargain makes more sense than a grand one. Democrats would get a temporary increase in spending, and in return Republicans would get a delay of the fine on people without health insurance. Depending on the amount of spending involved, that deal could be a good one for Republicans.

Finally! The clever solution. The Republicans should try to . . delay Obamacare. I never considered that. Wait, wasn’t that legislation already written and passed by Republicans? Yes, and then summarily shredded by the Democrats. Even if the bill should resurrect itself and somehow make it through the Senate, the president has vowed to smash it with a sledgehammer. So how exactly is this a way out of the nightmare? Incidentally, there’s a provision for mental illness entitlements in Obamacare. Just sayin’.

Of the options, the most promising seems to us to be the modest bargain, because the potential payoff — a delay in the mandate — would be more valuable than the Vitter amendment, and more likely than Democratic capitulation to a continued shutdown.

So it’s time to try the modest way. Where Republicans force Democrats to give them everything they ever wanted. This is why National Review is the greatest science fiction periodical in the nation.


America’s thirst Cuban president

The snazzy power and gossip site Politico gives us strange coverage of Sen. Marco Rubio’s State of the Union response. In case you’d missed it, the young senator was to offer a devastating counter to the President’s lengthy and probably un-constitutional Tuesday address.

What he delivered was Mitt Romney utterly without any polish. At one point the Senator’s nerves got so bad he had to step aside for a water bottle to wet his mouth. This was the bizarre highlight of an address gorged with the same bluster and falsehoods that careened Mittmentum into the permanent ditch of early 2012.

Politico witnessed the disaster. Being a responsible and political entity, it knew it had a job to do. How bad is this for Marco Rubio?

General consensus: Rubio water flap shall pass
Maggie Haberman | Politico

…“The water moment did not bother me,” said Republican strategist Bruce Haynes, of Purple Strategies. “I thought it made him human.”

When you have to gather a “General consensus,” you really need Republicans. GOP strategists and operatives, the more the better.

Alex Castellanos, another Republican operative at Purple, said, “I think it was great first step for Marco Rubio and a great first step for the Republican party.”

It was great? Twitter convulsing in hails of derision is generally awesome. If the scenery had collapsed in on him it would have been Reaganesque.

“Whatever they wanted out of it, I’m not sure they got,” said one Republican operative.

This is nearly sane. But no, Marco didn’t want to be a punchline (‘aqualunge’). Then again given how difficult it is to speak feet from a freshwater source, I’d say he managed fairly well.

“Response to the State of the Union is always one of the most difficult speaking engagements an elected official faces, with the klieg lights hammering down and no ability to get a water break or a breath because there is no audience reaction to allow for a break in the action,” said conservative strategist Greg Mueller.

As Congress tittered at one of the President’s comments, no one noticed him urinate in a bucket onstage. But for Greg Mueller.

“While the reach for water might be fodder for some late night comedians to have some fun with as they do all key politicians, bottom line is the heart-warming delivery of the speech wins out,” Mueller added.

How in the world did Gunga Din play the bugle in a hot desert? Far smaller grudges held he than a love for his fellow man. And that’s how you end up in a Kipling poem, sniff.

The Republican operative [Castellanos] said the water sip amounts little more than a media-driven distraction. The bigger takeaway is “a new generation of Republican that walked out on the stage last night.”

Havana Mittens. He comes equipped with the new ethnic but without the decades of suit raids and spit shining. The New Bungler, without an accomplishment to his name.


John McCain hits rock bottom

Surveying a political life highlighted primarily by self-serving cowardice, I have never seen anything quite so disgusting as John McCain’s latest performance. He had the surely personally gratifying duty of vetting yesterday the President’s nominee for Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel.

The most contentious part of his questioning came when he decided to attack Hagel’s opposition to the Surge in Iraq. Briefly, the Surge was a 2007 introduction of around 20,000 additional troops into mostly Baghdad, some into Al-Anbar province, to try to improve the situation in Iraq.

Politically speaking, the Surge is all John McCain’s baby. While other Republicans then were busy talking fecklessly about the brutal and failing war, it was McCain who decided to publicly double down on a dangerous strategy: sending more soldiers. It may not have actually done much, but the timing worked nicely to McCain’s favor as violence began to drop in Iraq in late 2007. McCain used the Surge politically to rally American patriotism and separate himself from the other Republican presidential hopefuls. It’s the one great success in his political life. That’s how he beat out Mitt Romney for the right to lose to the Democrat, Barack Obama, in 2008. Remember that, then watch this bullshit:

How vomit-inducing. McCain has Hagel over a political barrel and everybody knows it. If Hagel disagrees, the petulant McCain will run to the media replaying the trope that the Surge reversed the course in Iraq and won us the glorious war. Republicans will seize the opportunity to rally around McCain and his brilliant strategy, and Hagel’s nomination will be D.O.A.

So John McCain here is only trying to make Chuck Hagel blow him in public. Sorry about the depiction, but that’s the honest truth. He’s shoving Hagel’s head at his crotch to see how badly Chuck wants the nomination. It’s disgusting.


Tea Party makes zeh patriots uff yoh kinderpeeple

What should the government do? Folks build entire philosophies to answer the question. Notions abound. You ask this of the Arizona Tea Party, they’ll tell you it’s the government’s job to fuck off.

Two state representatives have proposed bills requiring Arizona students to show more respect for their country in a move that is stirring constitutional arguments and a threat of lawsuits.

All public high-school seniors would have to recite an oath supporting the U.S. Constitution to be able to graduate, under a proposal in House Bill 2467 sponsored by Rep. Bob Thorpe, R-Flagstaff.

And all students in first through 12th grades would have to say the pledge of allegiance each day if House Bill 2284, sponsored by Rep. Steve Smith, R-Maricopa, passes.

. . until they realize they can turn your daughter into a good little stormtrooper. Then the government is pretty cool.


Satanic Nancy Pelosi and her house full of goat-slashing zombies

What a great political ad.

There Nancy Pelosi is. In her Satanic mansion of zombies.

There you go, there’s one. The dead can grow thick facial hair, that’s a rule.

Here another zombie tries to stab a sheep (actually a goat).

Here Nancy’s Republican challenger John Dennis swings into action.

Now he lectures Pelosi about sacrificial lambs. See the goat?

And Nancy makes the Pelosi face.

Then she tells everybody to “Talk to the hand.”

And there goes the greatest political ad ever.


Photos of empty patio chairs please save us

So Clint Eastwood balls up his actor’s courage and delivers a doddering stumbling diatribe to an empty chair (in his mind, to the President) at last week’s GOP convention. It was bizarre. It wasn’t rehearsed or scripted, that’s for sure. It was even painful to see. And it was a great way to set a professional tone for the high-profile Romney coronation minutes before the World’s Greatest Man takes to center stage and pleads that he should be your next president.

Quote Rachel Maddow: “I don’t — I don’t — I don’t know what was going on there,” Maddow said, seemingly tongue-tied. “Clint Eastwood is 82 years old and I think that — I don’t know if that’s what was going on there.” . .

“That was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen at a political convention in my entire life, and it will be the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen if I live to be 100,” she said.

Weirdness. What’s the fallout from this surrealist escapade? Turbo weirdness. The wingnuts grabbed their cameras yesterday and took pictures of empty chairs. Why? No idea. It was an insult to Obama apparently. Chairs are empty 99% of the time, incidentally.

But boy howdy did people get excited about it though. And everybody chose the same chair for a prop, one of those mass-produced $20 white patio plastic things that seems to get filthy dirty before you can even get it out of your car. But they added flags or hand-written messages to the setting to make the insult clear: “Take that Obama.” And the Keystone pipeline, buddy.

If I remember these people correctly, Obama has been a dictator. Been seizing control of everything in sight, most luridly and illegally the world’s greatest healthcare system. In parallel he’s driven the nation into a death debt-spiral, entrenched Soviet socialism into government practices, handed both the borders and the Supreme Court to Mexicans, and he’s brought indefensible Chicago politics to the fray which means he’s about to get re-elected, probably for life. This is why Chuck Norris predicted that Barack defeating Mittens in November will kick off a “thousand years of darkness” in America. It’s the application of empty chair politics, you see.


Clint Eastwood’s bizarre rambling convention “talk” with Obama

And so the Republican convention ends. There were so many things to be impressed with. There was the uh and also then some other thing. But asking Clint Eastwood to entertain the faithful by carrying out a doddering unscripted conversation with the Obama in his head was frighteningly charming. Groundbreaking too in a daunting way. We can assume a Reagan in his 90s with his mental drapes permanently drawn would have slayed the hell out of this bunch. We can also assume the poor homeless schizophrenic working the taxi stands outside, though plenty sharper, wasn’t nearly famous enough for this crowd.

Here were the lowlights:


August right-wing death toll stands at 10 with 3 days to go

Arch-conservatives continue their banner August. In the first week of the month unemployed white supremacist Wade Page shot and killed six Sikhs at a temple in Oak Creek, Wisconsin. In week two unemployed gun nut and Palin/Beck/O’Reilly fan Thomas Caffall killed two people, one a constable, in College Station, Texas. Also in week two a group of barely-employed “sovereign citizens” and their girlfriends shot four Louisiana deputies in and around St. John the Baptist Parish, killing two.

Now in week four we come across these wingnuts.

Four Army soldiers based in southeast Georgia killed a former comrade and his girlfriend to protect an anarchist militia group they formed that stockpiled assault weapons and plotted a range of anti-government attacks, prosecutors told a judge Monday.

Prosecutors in rural Long County, near the sprawling Army post Fort Stewart, said the militia group of active and former U.S. military members spent at least $87,000 buying guns and bomb components. They allege the group was serious enough to kill two people — former soldier Michael Roark and his 17-year-old girlfriend, Tiffany York — by shooting them in the woods last December in order to keep its plans secret.

The patriots had big plans.

. . plotted to take over Fort Stewart by seizing its ammunition control point and talked of bombing the Forsyth Park fountain in nearby Savannah, she said. In Washington state, she added, the group plotted to bomb a dam and poison the state’s apple crop. Ultimately, prosecutors said, the militia’s goal was to overthrow the government and assassinate the president.

They were going to kill a lot of innocent people, including President Obama. These stalwarts who practiced politics through terror called themselves “Forever Enduring Always Ready,” or F.E.A.R.

Isaac Aguigui, the Army private and alleged ringleader of a plot to assassinate Barack Obama and “take over” Ft. Stewart in Georgia, apparently served as a page at the 2008 Republican National Convention in Minnesota. That’s his mug shot after he was arrested for the alleged murder of Pvt. Michael Roark on the left. At right is a 2008 Reuters photo with the caption: “Republican National Convention page Isaac Aguigui watches from the edge of the floor at the start of the first session of the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota September 1, 2008.”


Calling ElaKuizza Doolittle

The ladies of Brooklyn could use some pointers. Three weeks from today, the right Republican New York Senator Marty Golden will hold an event on 76th street, at Bay Ridge Manor. Lucky youze.

It won’t be no boring fundraiser. Naw, it’ll be like a debutante’s ball, or a cotillion. Or like a 17th century Viennese social, replete with powder-flecked waltzes and some delicious palace intrigue. If you don’t know what that is (I don’t), don’t you worry. Professor Higgins will be there to tell you:

SENATOR MARTY GOLDEN invites you to Refresh your Business Etiquette and Social Protocol Skills!


. . so. Youze been putting Marty in a headlock? No, no, ladies, that is no way to behave. We run a polite society here. Marty is a Republican. Upon presentation to Mister Monsignor Senator Fancysox Golden, you lie on your back and present the parts for wanding. Legs high, pinkies askew. Here I am. Now let me know who’s hiring, pal.