Browsing the archives for the rick santorum tag.
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Mitt Romney in Desperate Need of a Rudder

2012 campaign, republicans

If you love tragedy, get your cameras ready. We may have a Republican disaster in the making.

After winning in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado, Rick Santorum has gotten a big boost in national popularity. Public Policy Polling has Rick over Mitt, 38%/23%. Pew Research has the split at 30%/28%. Either way, the race has been turned upside down. The shoo-in candidate now trails the Keystone Godbotherer no matter how you look at it. Triple P also shows Santorum up in the swing state of Michigan.

If you’re Mitt Romney, what do you do now?

“I was a severely conservative Republican governor,” Romney told the [CPAC] audience of his time in office, pointing out his support of traditional marriage and abstinence education.

You run wildly rightward. You try to cut Santorum off at the lunatic pass. You get ugly.

Jeff Hullinger: [Lawmakers] have bantered about the proposition that welfare recipients should be drug tested. How do you feel about that?

Mitt Romney: Well my own view is, it’s a great idea. People who are receiving welfare benefits, government benefits, we should make sure they’re not using those benefits to pay for drugs. I think it’s an excellent idea.

Drug testing isn’t just stupid, insulting and un-American, it’s unconstitutional. But Mitt thinks he desperately needs to look XXX-Conservative, so we get his pandering like this. I suppose we’re in for plenty more of this shameless behavior.

I see a big problem with this strategy. Mitt assumes he’s increasingly unpopular because he’s failing the right-wing acid test. He thinks the voters are turning to the likes of Gingrich and Santorum because they’re red-meat pitching extremists. He’s missing the bigger truth: people are running away from him because they don’t trust him. He’s as spineless and calculating a politician as we’ve recently seen, willing to say or do anything to get elected.

He didn’t have to be caught in this bind. Mitt could have staked out a position as a moderate conservative and be leading the race. All he had to do was commit to the strategy. He could’ve drawn a ‘Romney’ line in the sand and told the voters “This is who I am: A sensible conservative, unwavering in my positions, substantially in harmony with right-wing politics, but also rejecting of divisive extremism. Take it or leave it.” That message would have outlasted all the chaos and crazy candidates of this season. It also would have united the moderates and purists at the end of the primary war. It would have put him in a position to win the presidency, and that’s what conservatives really want, after everything is said and done.

But it’s far too late for that, isn’t it? Mitt’s decided he’s going to run to the right to try to steal Santorum’s thunder, then run back to the center in the general election. This is exactly the behavior that got people to despise him in the first place. Polling shows that the coveted centrists and independents, the voters that get candidates elected, are turned off by Romney because of this soullessness. Now Mitt’s decided his campaign requires even more of it. Good luck with that.

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Modern Echoes From The Golden Age of Santorum

2012 campaign, republicans

Rick the Dragonheart, surging Republican candidate, 15th century body snatcher, is on some momentum mojo tear today. On a serious Santorum roll. If I recall, that’s a traditional Medieval biscuit larded with goat brain, turned over an oxen dung fire, and made ashes with a blazing cross. They used to do the exact same thing for cowhide, magicians and saints. Why ever did we stop being Europe?

Speaking of the greatness of the past, Rick is something of a Medieval biscuit himself. Can you believe the interest the world’s taken in him? The internets have been going crazy today tracking his every cross-eyed campaign stop.

Staring at my computer, I can hardly believe the dumb, anachronistic stuff he’s putting out as policy positions. One: what women will be allowed to do in President Santorum’s America. One A: what sorts of planes he’d let them fly. Somehow, these are suddenly IMPORTANT. In Rick’s Victorian world, these are issues that have become dangerously unhinged from the wisdom of, eh, well, his Victorian world:

“I don’t think you see the same problems they would find on the front line.” He says, “It’s not a matter of putting women in dangerous roles.” He tell[s] me, for example, that women are fully capable of “flying small planes.”

Micky Axton

He really said that. He actually thinks it. Nothing of the remotely current planet must appeal to Rick. How else to figure a guy like him? Never mind the complexities of evolution, he won’t accept World War II.

Mildred Darlene “Micky” Tuttle Axton was one of the best pilots of the Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASPs) program. Micky flew the four engine B-29 Superfortress back in 1944. 57 years ago. But campaign-Rick feels like putting everyone straight about the true nature and genetic capability of women today. This would have been a stupid opinion around the Korean War. It’s absolutely Neanderthal by the Reagan era. More:

. . I do have concerns about women in front line combat. I think that can be a very compromising situation where — where people naturally may do things that may not be in the interests of the mission because of other types of emotions that are involved.

This is so much gobbledygook, it’s barely parse-able. I think he’s saying that a platoon with a woman in it can’t shoot at the enemy when they’re playing spin the bottle. Why Rick refuses to acknowledge the realities of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is especially mysterious given the way he’s promised to extend them both, at great cost to us all. The Army has seen what women are capable of, and they’re moving in the direction of giving those soldiers more combat-ready roles on the front line. And it ain’t like the armed forces have ever been a haven for feminists.

Holy thatched huts, digital people. How are you supposed to deal with a guy like this? What do you say? We say that Rick mounts a selfish campaign to take America back in time. He would return us to a century more comfortable for himself. Unfortunately, nothing he believes will suddenly become any less bullshit than it is right now.

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Rick Santorum Clowns and Pounds the Republican Trail

2012 campaign, derpes is not an STD, global warming, I doubt that, republicans

Anybody could have predicted this from Rick Santorum. Any time one of these donkey-slapping clowns gets an ‘attaboy’ from the caucus [(def) 'Attaboy': We avoided the bigger clown], he fires up an exploding cigar. These guys cannot stand success:

“This is a president who, just recently, in this Hosanna-Tabor case was basically making the argument that Catholics had to, you know, maybe even had to go so far as to hire women priests to comply with employment discrimination issues. This is a very hostile president to people of faith. He’s a hostile president, not just to people of faith, but to all freedoms.”

The president demands female priests. I think he’ll have the freedoms, please, in a scramble a la’ martinet. This makes absolutely no sense, so it must be true. If the president tied his shoes, Rick Santorum would know he just got lynched. He’s such a wuss, I’m pretty sure I could will him to pee his shorts. That makes sense. Therefore, your honor, little Ricky’s soggy bottom notwithstanding, it is a lie.

Now that we’ve set up a real-er reality (real traditional American flavor), let’s be sensible. Let’s marvel at Republican candidates.

Newt Gingrich won in South Carolina. So he asked his Florida fans to skip to the moon with him where he’ll establish the U.S.’ fifty-first state (sorry, Kashmir). Because that was so cool-headed, presidential and professional, Gingrich was immediately elected high-holy Galactic Viceroy, a position he’s had for centuries now. Lunacy policy wins the day.

Mitt Romney trounced the field in Florida. So he reaffirmed to a national television audience (or to those of us who can still afford cable service, a TV, plus some electricity) the reason he’s running for president: “I’m in this race because I care about Americans. I’m not concerned about the very poor.” Once everybody remembered that one of every four kids in America lives in poverty, they hoisted Mitt onto their shoulders and carried him across The Great Finish Line. Where he collapsed into the arms of Fabio, or Providence, maybe ecstasy, the end.

Somebody new won last night. So it’s Rick The Dragonheart’s turn to flex some muscle (bladder?). Surely, he’s seen how the other geniuses cashed in on success. Surely, he’s learned that the key to victory in the long run is to remain calm and to talk in measured tones. That’s all anybody would ask from a politician they might throw a vote at. ‘Dear clown: Act presidential, please.’ Can you do that? Rick?

“I for one understand just from science that there are one hundred factors that influence the climate. To suggest that one minor factor of which man’s contribution is a minor factor in the minor factor is the determining ingredient in the sauce that affects the entire global warming and cooling is just absurd on its face.”

Yes.

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Tea Party Flap A Stuffed Into Romney Slot B

2012 campaign, teabaggers

Speaking of political people once seemingly important and powerful a year ago, where went the Tea Party? Where are they now? What have they been doing? How many bugs can they eat? I ask the questions no one else will.

“The Tea Party movement is dead. It’s gone,” says Chris Littleton, the cofounder of the Ohio Liberty Council, a statewide coalition of Tea Party groups in Ohio. “I think largely the Tea Party is irrelevant in the primaries. They aren’t passionate about any of the candidates, and if they are passionate, they’re for Ron Paul.”

And Ron Paul has been re-relegated to the sidelines. Ay, pobrecitos. The nation’s attention remains focused on right-wing politics, but nobody’s particularly interested in a teabagger any more. It must be depressing to feel so powerless after once having the Wonder Bread suits ply you with free hot dogs, placards and bus rides. Getting face time on Fox News with the likes of Sean Hannity — those were salad days, friend.

Mark Meckler, founder of the Tea Party Patriots, the nation’s largest Tea Party coalition, also says the Tea Party isn’t playing a role in picking the nominee. But that is by choice, not by accident, he says.

“The real Tea Party movement is not a political party, it’s a movement,” he says. “How can a movement endorse anybody? It really can’t.”

There’s a silly question. How can a group of people with a particular ideology pick a particular person? Obviously, it happens all the time.

I think this points out a certain truth: The Tea Party doesn’t have any ideology. They’re actually an expression of free-floating animus against a world evolving beyond their ken. A black president? An exploding ‘Latino’ population? A doomed white majority?

Scream it ain’t so. After giving so much to their beloved country, they’re limping into retirement, for what? So that their taxes can be used to pay for the healthcare/birthing of immigrants. It’s not true, but for them it’s a nightmare made real. Stop the government spending! This is not what the Founding Fathers, America’s white genius slave owners, would have tolerated. They remember what made America great.

Where is their 2012 cutting-edge traditionalist? Where’s their purist, rebel, soldier-thinker?

Ron Paul comes closest. He’s got racism in the bag: he’s been literally selling it for decades. The problem is he doesn’t actually relish targeting The Black Guy this way. Paul’s bank account has got a bigger taste for bigotry than his heart does. His loopy, war-dodging foreign policy makes him impotent against the Al Qaeda-hunting incumbent anyway, so forget him.

Newt Gingrich? He’s beautiful on the stump and in the debates, isn’t he? Poor kids will learn to unclog the nation’s toilets under President Gingrich. Black people haven’t yet learned how to work, incidentally. Problem? He won’t pull the trigger on the biggest target: immigrants. Here Gingrich throws away the game. He will not root out, jail, prosecute and expel the nation’s seemingly permanent foreign criminals. If you won’t bother with that, good lord, why bother with you?

Rick Santorum? A favorite of the spirited but entrenched Republican elites. But not the Tea Party. Why? He’s an avowed anachronism. He’s a giant-government social scold. He would throw the “issue” of contraception back to the states. Didn’t even know it was an issue, did you? He spends your hard-earned taxes like George W. Bush. He helped spend your-hard earned taxes the way George W. Bush did. He’d resurrect the War in Irag, $15 billion per month and all. No thanks.

That leaves Romney. Who’s obviously wrong on almost everything. Banker bailouts, healthcare, spinelessness, Mormonism, ugh. Except for one little thing: he could beat the black guy. You talk about huge. That’s why the hesitant mannequin just pulled half of the Tea Party people in Nevada. His potential will only loom larger as the primaries zoom by. So, hello Mitt.

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Update: Mitt Romney did not win the Iowa caucus

2012 campaign, incompetence

I guess the pundits can put away all that talk of “No Republican has ever won the first three primaries before,” as if that meant something. As if Romney, with his numbers slipping in South Carolina, could win there and then take a nap for the next few months, the race for king wingnut being over.

Turns out Mitt Romney did not win in Iowa. Strangely, neither did Rick Santorum. The recount has the former Pennsylvania governor up on Mittens, but there are too many disappeared ‘ballots’ to ever get a proper accounting:

Iowa caucus count unresolved
By Jennifer Jacobs, Des Moines Register

There are too many holes in the certified totals from the Iowa caucuses to know for certain who won, but Rick Santorum wound up with a 34-vote advantage.

Results from eight precincts are missing — any of which could hold an advantage for Mitt Romney— and will never be recovered and certified, Republican Party of Iowa officials told The Des Moines Register on Wednesday.

Sorry, Willard. And Rick.

It’s not a surprise that the ultra-thin gap of eight votes on caucus night didn’t hold up, but it’s tough to swallow the fact that there will always be a question mark hanging over this race, politics insiders said.

Given that recent polls have Romney up by as little as three points in South Carolina, he could lose to Newton on Saturday. That would leave the juggernaut candidate with a grand total of one primary win in the season. Oops. Newthray will immediately call for anyone who calls himself Republican to withdraw from the race and to begin polishing his shoes. Great theater.

By the way, Iowa GOP: well handled. Nobody thinks you’re a bunch of morons.

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Baked Carolina dog whistle, a la Gingrich, with a side of #2 spilled beans

*holes, 2012 campaign, controversy, race

Hark! Nanook of Tiara Borealis Klondike Parkaboobs:

“I want to see this thing continue because iron sharpens iron, steel sharpens steel,’’ Ms. Palin said . . “These guys are getting better in their debates, they’re getting more concise, they’re getting more grounded . .’’

. . they’re getting more deflected, denatured and disintegrated by the multi-thousand BTU Chinese forge of Republican politics. There are barely months to settle on a wingnut, but who will conquer tomorrow? Everybody has to know. Hail heavy metal Freedonia.

Newton’s latest strategy has been to eliminate anyone in sight still breathing. So he’s been taking it to the dead-white and blue capitalist, Chet Bainbot. He’s been taking it to the black children, destined to do no work. He’s been taking it to the gritty streets of South Carolina, where folks still (sshhh) prefer ‘others’ step off the sidewalk as they approach.

And whaddyaknow. It’s working:

Rasmussen Poll: Gingrich closes gap with Romney nationally
The State Column

Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich’s relentless attacks against rival candidate Mitt Romney appear to be working, as a Rasmussen Reports poll released Wednesday indicates he is just three percentage points behind Mr. Romney nationwide. The poll finished with Mr. Romney garnering 30 percent of the votes, while Mr. Gingrich finished at 27 percent.

Now, that’s a Rasmussen poll. Meaning the numbers look spectacular and are surely wrong. But Newthor is definitely closing the gap. His campaign got so excited after Monday’s debate they put together this clip:

For context, let’s add . . uh, context. The get-up-and-stomp-your-jackboots ovation for Newtran (dubbed “The Moment” by his humble campaign) came as a result of moderator Juan Williams pressing Gingrich on his “black people” rhetoric. As in, “black people drive like this,” and “black people yell at movies,” and “I hate black people too.” Right-wing Newsmax reported the reverse-lynching this way:

Gingrich Slams Juan Williams in Racial Exchange
Maxi-News | ‘White Lady Fresh’

. . “Can’t you see this is viewed, at a minimum, as insulting to all Americans, but as particularly to black Americans?” Williams said.

“No, I don’t see that,” Gingrich answered, prompting cheers and applause from the audience. He also recalled the fact that his own daughter Jackie did janitorial work for her first job.

“Only the elites despise earning money,” he said.

DUDE! That’s what you get for being racist, Juaaan. Or Hwaaaan. Maybe I putee fyou bettah unnastann: chingchong linglong, bitch. Winning.

Meanwhile, demonstrating a steely capacity for institutional-thuggery, someone in the Romney campaign directed ABC to talk to Marianne Gingrich, Newtrul’s second wife. This is the only thing anyone in the solar system is talking about tonight. It’s the end of everything, politics-wise, forever. Plus it has consequences. Given Newchan’s self-centered approach to affection (he loves his prostate, where he lives in a Spanish Mediterranean jizzball), the interview tomorrow will be devastating. If there’s an audience or a god, he will be dead by Friday.

Not to be outdone: someone else. Next: Rick Santorum. He’s piggybacking the anti-Gingrich campaign. He’d like to point out the difference between himself and the in flagrante davenportia Georgian:

Former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum told a Spartanburg crowd Wednesday that the only woman he’s ever sat on a couch with is his wife, a not-so-subtle dig at former House speaker Newt Gingrich, who appeared seated next to Democrat Nancy Pelosi in a 2008 ad urging action on climate change.

Whoa.

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Rick Santorum promises to attack your liberties

*holes, 2012 campaign

Rick Santorum isn’t what you’d think. He’s exactly as he says, though most people don’t listen. He’s the biggest of ‘Big Government’ politicians.

Under president Rick you couldn’t buy rubbers, gays couldn’t marry, pregnant women would always become mothers, and the Army would immediately begin bombing Iran. Santorum America would be something like a Christian fascist state. Some folks love that idea enough to grease its every corner and joint:

Debunking the myth of Santorum’s “big government conservatism”
Chris Adamo | Renew America

The essence of the attack on Santorum is that he cannot claim to be truly conservative, since he recognizes the responsibilities of a just government in the protection of the unborn, and maintaining such time-honored cornerstones of our society, and civilization in general, as traditional marriage . .

Nevertheless, Santorum does understand that government is vested with certain responsibilities to intervene in the lives of the citizenry, particularly on behalf of those who are the most helpless.

Rick debunks the debunk:

“Some will reject what I have to say as a kind of ‘Big Government’ conservatism.”

To wit:

“This whole idea of personal autonomy, well I don’t think most conservatives hold that point of view. Some do. They have this idea that people should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do, government should keep our taxes down and keep our regulations low, that we shouldn’t get involved in the bedroom, we shouldn’t get involved in cultural issues. You know, people should do whatever they want. Well, that is not how traditional conservatives view the world and I think most conservatives understand that individuals can’t go it alone. That there is no such society that I am aware of, where we’ve had radical individualism and that it succeeds as a culture.”

Clear enough? Liberty isn’t for you.

“This is the mantra of the left: I have a right to do what I want to do” and “We have a whole culture that is focused on immediate gratification and the pursuit of happiness . . . and it is harming America.”

You’re screwing up the country.

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Washington Post’s knuckle-dragging grasp of evolution

2012 campaign, flat out dumb, SCIENCE

What do you say of the ‘debate’(?) about evolution when WaPo’s education columnist Jay Mathews supports teaching intelligent design in Science classes? It makes you want to punch him right in his Hiatt (in case Fred’s hanging around) . .

Santorum’s good but hated education idea
Jay Mathews | Fred’s Employer

I won’t say who is getting my vote for president. But I confess a nonpartisan desire that former senator Rick Santorum (R) remain in the race long enough to focus attention on an intriguing, if deeply controversial, educational issue.

Let’s see, maybe I have a WaPo reader hat. Or posture. *ahrrem* ‘This is intriguing. What is this controversial issue? I am a smart and reasonable man. Therefore I am interested columnist Mathews. Please good sir, tell me.’

So hang on, Senator. Show a little courage and you could spark new interest in one of the few causes we share: encouraging high school discussion of alternatives to evolutionary theory.

Teaching all sides of the evolution issue is supported in opinion polls.

Evolution you say? Sounds fascinating and complicated. Let’s us teach all sides of this controversy. What could be the harm? Thanks Jay, you’ve performed an invaluable service and I’ll go back to playing Angry Haystacks. Until the next fuss, taa.’

But now hear shrill Science man. He will un-intrigue and de-fascinate everything in a depressing WaPo-free manner —->

There exists a super-secret place where we scientists squirrel away the many sides of the evolution ‘debate.’ Shocking, isn’t it? We are aware of all argument traditions.

You may find the many many arguments in a school of thought called . . ‘Evolution.’ What? No kidding! It came out of arguments. Think of it as a 152 year-long Science thread. Everyone who isn’t trolling agrees that the argument currently stands: Life on Earth evolved from earlier, less complicated forms by way of natural selection operating in and upon environmental flux and genetic variation blah blah. There’s more to it, but it’s getting late.

How do you think scientists operate, incidentally? By way of conspiracy? Do you think a whole bunch of the older ones got together and planned the Theory of Evolution? Is it a product, like GM’s Chevy Volt? That’s a fine looking car, but what if I want a four door? Reasonable people want alternatives.

When something is the product of every alternative being argued and tested across a century and a half, there are no immediate alternatives. All the currently possible ‘sides’ have been exhausted. That’s how you build a great theory. Evolution is one of the greatest theories in history.

If you want to know how science guys like me feel when a WaPo columnist starts considering Martian Deconstruction for the curriculum, read this:

It is important to note that Santorum and I have different reasons for wanting high schools to allow discussion of intelligent design — the notion that some supernatural force (not necessarily God) brought life to earth.

Danger! Science is perfectly equipped to deal with us and our world. Because we exist. Science can never address the non-natural, non-existent world. We can’t tell you how often my guitar farts in the 23rd dimension. No one knows who won the lemonade parabola rodeo. Who knows what sort of hand ‘Super’ played in evolution? If there’s no evidence for it, why should science bother with it? Let’s argue about anti-weather. Let’s build skyscrapers from gestures.

The minute you drag fake things into the reality-obsessed argument, chaos ensues. The attempt to bring creationism into the world of science is an attempt to destroy science. I hope I made that clear. Also:

It was hard for me to become interested in classroom explanations of natural selection when I was a student. Introducing a contrary theory like intelligent design and having students discuss its differences from Darwinism would enliven the class.

Jay Mathews is a disgrace.

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I see the ghost of Mitt Romney, i.e. Mitt Romney

2012 campaign, republicans, whacko

So many Republican presidential candidates, so many favorites. It’s like picking a particular virus. All the many, many things to consider. Do you just wanna die, or would you like to linger?

First the wingnuts think Michelle Bachmann is wonderful. She’s energetic and Christian and conservative right down to her Buckley® corset and stare. Isn’t she great?

The Minnesota congresswoman last month suggested that God was punishing Washington for excessive spending by sending an earthquake and a hurricane (Her campaign later said she was joking), noted the “rise of the Soviet Union” 20 years after that regime collapsed, confused Elvis Presley’s birthday with the anniversary of his death, erred on the location of John Wayne’s birthplace in Iowa, and claimed the famous Revolutionary War battle at Lexington and Concord had been fought in New Hampshire.

She’s also bright as a bag of midnight. Oh well, time to move on. How ’bout that Rick Perry? He’s friendly, got good hair and a drawl. What’s not to like?

“Let me tell you, there’s three agencies of government that are gone when I get there,” Perry said. “Commerce, education and the, um, uh, what’s the third one there . . Commerce, Education and the, um, EPA . . the third agency of government, I would do away with: Education, Commerce and let’s see . . the third one, I can’t. Oops.”

He’s clueless about his own campaign. And government. Boy, these people are . . interesting. How the hell did they ever get this far? How is it that they’re being taken seriously, even momentarily, as candidates for president?

It’s not like they’ve ever hidden these massive flaws. Bachmann’s been famously dumb and loopy as long as anyone can remember. She tried to amend the Minnesota constitution to outlaw gay marriage in 2003, 2004 and 2005. Her own marriage narrowly escaped.

When President Bush signed the Energy Independence and Security Act outlawing the future manufacture and sale of incandescent bulbs, she responded with the Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act. You can imagine what that’s supposed to do, as if energy-sucking 19th century technologies were somehow American as eagles. If Sir Humphry Davy is so heart-broken, he can sit down with Tom Edison and have a cry.

Governor Rick Perry executed an innocent man charged with the arson murder of his own children. Killing innocent people is a sport in Texas. The mere approximation of ‘murder’ and ‘children’ in a sentence is evidence enough to shoot a man on sight. But Rick happens to be the head of government, which is supposed to manage it through legal means.

When actual arson experts (what?) looked at the evidence after the execution (who knew?) they saw nothing to indicate anything other than an accident.

. . Dr. Craig Beyler, hired by the Texas Forensic Science Commission to review the case, found that “a finding of arson could not be sustained”. Beyler said that key testimony from a fire marshal at Willingham’s trial was “hardly consistent with a scientific mind-set and is more characteristic of mystics or psychics.”

When government officials were to re-convene to consider the report, Perry finally sprang into action:

The Texas Forensic Science Commission was scheduled to discuss the report by Beyler at a meeting on October 2, 2009, but two days before the meeting Texas Governor Rick Perry replaced the chair of the commission and two other members. The new chair canceled the meeting—sparking accusations that Perry was interfering with the investigation and using it for his own political advantage.

Rest in peace, Cameron Todd Willingham. Your death is still considered a ‘win’ in Texas. In the end, that was the only fact Rick Perry paid any attention to.

The point I’m making here is that these Republican presidential candidates are a scary bunch. It’s shocking that any one of these loons is this close to the presidency. It’s especially shocking when they carry suicidal baggage the way they do: publicly and proudly.

Voters should be horrified by the selection of grotesques. They should be screaming bloody murder for being forced even to consider a Rick Santorum:

“I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money.”

Instead, they’re happy to pick one immoral, un-American fool after another. As if they were picking body sprays or Chinese food. Encouraged by the affirmation, a candidate cranks up the crazy and suddenly Mr. or Mrs. Average is dismayed. President Newt would do what to judges that annoyed him? Arrest them?

“Sure. If you had to. Or you’d instruct the Justice Department to send a U.S. Marshal.”

So much for the Constitution, checks and balances, judicial impartiality, blah blah. So many things stand between Newt and his liberty. It’s all pretty funny if your sense of humor shades to darkness.

It’s even funnier when you see where this is all going. The candidate to beat in this gnomic clusterfuck is Willard Romney. Mittens is a man so devoid of courage, color or personality he could be a cloud of carbon dioxide. People invite him to parties in case an electrical fire breaks out. He sits in the corner drinking fruit juice, no ice thanks, and talks to a candle.

Tomorrow, he will win easily in New Hampshire. That’ll put about 8 of his 10 slender, lady-lke fingers around the throat of the Republican nomination. He won’t take a firm grip for weeks. He won’t even think of squeezing for months probably, and the circus will go on. Meanwhile Ron Paul will surface to tell you that AIDS patients should pay not only for all their own healthcare, but for the carpentry and maintenance of slender coffins, their deaths being unusual and self-involved. Hooray.

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Who is this ‘Rick Santorum’?

*holes, 2012 campaign, wingnuts

It’s been a good couple of months for politics. Meaning that it’s been bad for the wingnuts; it’s been good for the foul-mouthed blogging community. So many nasty people to talk about, so many silly things to laugh at.

And that brings up Rick Santorum, who is great for politics. This rat’s mere presence in your vicinity would irritate your skin. Only his mother could love him, and she’s probably lying.

Rick Santorum had only been in the senate for a few weeks when Bob Kerrey, then Senator from Nebraska, pegged him. “Santorum, that’s Latin for asshole” . .

Such a stew of sleazy self-righteousness and audacious stupidity has not been seen in the senate since the days of Steve Symms, the celebrated moron from Idaho. In 1998, investigative reporter Ken Silverstein fingered Santorum as the dumbest member of congress in a story for The Progressive.

That was back in 2003. His being considered seriously for president in 2012 is a shocking development.

America, if you’re so keen to destroy yourself, must it be by way of Santorum?

Santorum has long opposed the Supreme Court’s 1965 ruling “that invalidated a Connecticut law banning contraception” and has also pledged to completely defund federal funding for contraception if elected president . . “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country,” the former Pennsylvania senator explained. “It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

President Santorum will lecture you about your Trojans. Ready for that, folks? Do you feel guilty about having sex? Do you feel bad about not caring for 10 children? You’ll feel better with President Rick.

We can’t have people having access to better health insurance than other people. No! It all has to be the same! Is that American? Equality of result? Is that what built the greatest country in the history of the world? No. That’s what’s destroying most of the countries in the world.

Rick vehemently opposes universal healthcare. If people don’t loot their savings to go to the doctor, then they don’t deserve it. The rich alone getting whatever they want is a sign of America’s greatness. The poor suffering and dying at home is typical of the greatest country in the world. How do you like this guy?

While talking about education during a campaign stop in New Hampshire today, Santorum stated that Obama “said every child should go to college,” then declared, “What elitist snobbery out of this man!” The claim drew cheers from many in the crowd.

Why does everyone have to get an education? A lot of you should forget it, the President particularly. There’s nothing wrong with being a janitor. Except when 30% of the country have to be janitors. There are only so many buildings, but that’s why America is great. Not enough buildings for everyone to have a minimum wage career. Is President Rick growing on you?

If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.

And when the citizens have the right to do anything in their own homes, what sort of nation is it? Who wants to live in a place like that? We already have too much freedom. We don’t need anyone to give us more. We deserve less. Someone should take our things away from us: healthcare, contraception. Privacy. Peace of mind. We need to be denied. Vote for Rick.

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Day after Iowa: Bachmann suspending campaign; Gingrich moves on; Santorum media watch. UPDATE: Bachmann out.

2012 campaign

Wednesday morning coverage:


Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann will reportedly announce that she’s suspending her presidential campaign after a dismal showing in the Iowa caucuses.

A senior Republican official familiar with the congresswoman’s plans told CBS News partner National Journal that Bachmann came to the decision to effectively end her run, recognizing that “there was no viable way forward.”

Earlier, Bachmann canceled her campaign trip to South Carolina.


Gingrich never mentioned Romney by name as he spoke to supporters after an underwhelming fourth-place finish in the caucuses, but he did take a couple swipes at the Republican presidential race’s front-runner.

“Things that became obvious in the last few weeks in Iowa is that there will be a great debate in the Republican Party before we are prepared to have a great debate with [President] Barack Obama,” Gingrich told supporters with his wife Callista standing at his side . .

“And if the truth seems negative, that may be more a comment on his record than it is on politics,” he said. “So this is going to be a debate that begins tomorrow morning in New Hampshire, and will go on for a few months.”


Santorum’s best chance over the next several weeks is South Carolina. Like Iowa, it has many social conservatives, which are his core supporters. He has visited the Palmetto State 26 times and reportedly has a good ground game there.

Santorum has said he’s going to fight in New Hampshire, which votes Jan. 10. The goal would be to pare Romney’s big lead there and beat expectations again. Or he could focus his limited resources on South Carolina’s Jan. 21 primary.

Either way, South Carolina probably is a must-win for Santorum. He can’t afford to let Romney go 3-0, with victories in the Midwest, Northeast and South


So what does Santorum do now?

He needs to solidify his status as the anti-Romney, consensus conservative. The best way to do this is to show that he can consolidate that base in states other than Iowa.

But New Hampshire isn’t a natural fit for Santorum. In Iowa, 58 percent of Republican caucus-goers defined themselves as evangelicals. In New Hampshire, meanwhile, just 23 percent of 2008 Republican primary voters characterized themselves as such . .

So, why not go straight to South Carolina?

Sources close to the campaign say that Tuesday night’s strong showing in Iowa coupled with another one in New Hampshire could solidify the race as a Romney vs. Santorum contest. And more specifically, a battle between a candidate they will try to cast as a moderate (Romney) vs. the “true” conservative (Santorum). It was also evident from Santorum’s victory speech on Tuesday night that he is intent on framing the race as a contrast between his own blue collar roots and Romney’s far more privileged upbringing.

Santorum’ advisers argue that despite Romney’s lead in the polls in New Hampshire, they too have laid the groundwork to be competitive there. They add that although the former Pennsylvania senator has basically lived in Iowa for the past few months, he has managed to log almost as many days in New Hampshire as Romney.


Mitt Romney is counting on New Hampshire voters to resist their traditional contrarian practice of upsetting presidential front-runners and deliver him a victory so resounding that he’s set on the path to the Republican nomination.

Romney, who has held commanding leads in most statewide opinion polls during the almost three years he has been campaigning there, is looking to reinforce his claim to the party’s mantle after barely winning the Iowa caucuses. Anything less than a victory in New Hampshire (USUSNH) on Jan. 10 would hurt his chances even as it confirms the state’s reputation for keeping the candidates and the rest of the nation guessing . .

A Suffolk University/7NEWS tracking poll of likely New Hampshire Republican primary voters conducted Jan. 1-2 found Romney, a former Massachusetts governor, maintaining a significant advantage over his rivals, with backing from 43 percent. Paul was next with 16 percent, followed by former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman Jr., with 10 percent; former U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich, with 9 percent; and Santorum, with 5 percent.


A group of movement conservatives [evangelicals -- ed.] has called an emergency meeting in Texas next weekend to find a “consensus” Republican presidential hopeful, POLITICO has learned.

“You and your spouse are cordially invited to a private meeting with national conservative leaders of faith at the ranch of Paul and Nancy Pressler near Brenham, Texas, with the purpose of attempting to unite and to come to a consensus on which Republican Presidential candidate or candidates to support, or which not to support,” read an invitation that is making its way into in-boxes this morning.

The meeting is being hosted by such right-leaning figures as James Dobson, Don Wildmon and Gary Bauer. Many of the individuals on the host list attended a previous closed-door session with Rick Perry this summer.


UPDATE:

U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota ended her campaign for the Republican presidential nomination after finishing sixth in yesterday’s Iowa caucuses.

“Last night, the people of Iowa spoke with a very clear voice and so I have decided to stand aside,” Bachmann said in a hotel ballroom in West Des Moines, Iowa. “We can leave this race knowing that we ran it with utmost integrity,” said Bachmann, who vowed to “continue fighting to defeat the president’s agenda of socialism” . .

The Minnesota lawmaker won support from about 5 percent of Republican Iowa caucus-goers. The leaders, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, each got about 25 percent of the votes.

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Late Iowa: Romney wins closest test in history; Perry cancels SC sched, returns to Austin; Bachmann out? No.

2012 campaign

CNN, AP notes:


2 hours ago [1:40 a.m. ET]

WEST DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — Michele Bachmann told a small group of supporters Tuesday night that she’s staying in the presidential race as the only true conservative who can defeat the sitting president, despite a bleak showing in the Iowa caucuses.

The Minnesota congresswoman was running in last place among six candidates as returns came in from the nation’s first Republican presidential nominating contest.


2:33 a.m. ET

Romney won the Iowa caucuses by eight votes, Republican Party of Iowa Chairman Matt Strawn announced. Romney received 30,015 votes and Santorum received 30,007 votes, according to the Iowa GOP.


1 hour ago [2:40 a.m. ET]

Des Moines, Iowa (CNN) – Rick Perry’s “re-assessing” phase will apparently last through the remainder of the week.

After his disappointing fifth place finish in the Iowa caucuses, the Texas governor has scrapped his entire campaign schedule and will return to Austin to ponder whether to forge ahead with his bid.


3:04 a.m. ET

Iowa 2012 was the closest Republican presidential contest in history, beating the 1936 South Dakota primary, won by Alf Landon with a 257-vote margin, according to CNN Polling Director Keating Holland. It’s also the closest Iowa caucus result in history. The previous record was set in 1980, when the elder George Bush beat Ronald Reagan by about two percentage points.


ADD: McCain endorses Romney.

(CNN) – Sen. John McCain of Arizona will throw his support behind Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney on Wednesday, a senior Republican source close to the senator said.

The 2008 Republican presidential nominee will travel to New Hampshire to make the endorsement.

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