Tag Archives: socialism

Story of O’

Really, it was the last thing I expected to happen. But there he was.

Obama was mysterious, handsome, black, and would give us hope and change.

I don’t know. I’d have to start all over again with hmmm you say black? Oooh.

Barack Hussein Obama boldly seduced over half our country, dripping with sound bite lies and deception. He made love to our country. He had won, and Bush had lost.

Had gotten itself rout-ed, wink wink. WORTH IT. Ptew! Ptew!

Obama would change the United States of America into a submissive, vapor of herself, and force her to submit to Islam and Sharia Law. He would come after our 1st Amendment rights (he already has), the internet (in the works), our 2nd Amendment rights and guns (scheming through treaties and executive orders), control our banking records, and even how long we may live (through Obamacare — its death panels, lines, controls, fines, and tyranny).

♫ I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! ♫

Obama has given America an STD

S — ocialism

T — yranny

D — ictatorship

I. Feel. So. Stupid.

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If it’s raping children, the liberals did it

The world is all screwed up. Who’s to blame?

Surprise, it’s the liberals. With their university socialism and their political media and their Hollywood cocaine, they hold dangerous sway. And that’s how children get raped in football locker rooms.

Like to know more? Here:

Penn State and the slow death of American self-reliance
Bookworm | Nov 13 2011

. . in Pennsylvania, the law allows employees who witness a crime to go up the chain of command, whereas in Texas (for example) the law requires that every person has the responsibility to report to the authorities cases of suspected child abuse. In other word, the culture is different in the two states, with one allowing people to pass the buck, and the other mandating that people take independent action . .

Whew, thank God for Texas. How did this happen?

It took the 1960s and beyond to change us into a don’t-do culture. The “why” of that change would take a whole post (no, make that a whole book), but one can target lots of wealth, lots of youth, and a media and academic establishment that relentlessly propagandized both the virtues of socialism, while simultaneously denigrating traditional American culture and playing up the dangers of America’s home grown self-reliance ethos.

I remember us playing up the dangers. ‘Don’t do it yourself, you’ll die,’ stuff like that.

. . the end result is that Americans are slowly put surely slipping into the type of passivity that characterizes people living in an excessively bureaucratized, government-heavy society.

Okay. These arguments are a tad fuzzy, but roughly: there are two cultures in America. There is the individualistic, self-reliant pre-1960s culture evident in places like Texas. And there’s the socialistic, pass-the-buck post-1960s culture apparent in places like Pennsylvania. The new culture is spreading and [blank] ergo child raping in the showers. Got it.

Let’s see, King Hippie in Bookworm’s morality tale would be Joe Paterno. Though he became aware of the allegations, Coach Moonflower figured The State would do something about it. Check. And he’s an Italian Brooklynite born between World Wars I and II, double check. Sure enough, he’s your post-Summer of Love liberal.

Just look at his behavior. In 2006, disturbing allegations were leveled against a Penn State rival, linebacker A.J. Nicholson from Florida State. A.J. was suspended before the Orange Bowl after being accused of sexual assault.

How did Coach Paterno talk of the controversy? Did he hold A.J. responsible for his behavior? Did he make no excuses, offer no silly pretenses as to how the assault could have happened?

“There’s some tough — there’s so many people gravitating to these kids. He may not have even known what he was getting into, Nicholson. They knock on the door — somebody may knock on the door. A cute girl knocks on the door. What do you do?”

Dude, you need a manual? *cough* Chakra Joe Earthpromise acted like a liberal. “Women and their horny weirdo stuff. Pssh.” Typical leftist claptrap. “Children, too. Who knows what’s going on in their heads?” No kidding, they’re worse than ladies.

self-reliant to a fault

Yep, Bookworm’s argument is unassailable. As new ways replace the old, the disasters multiply. If Penn State had had a traditional, old school mentality, the whole thing would have been avoided, friends.

Why it wasn’t that long ago that child molestation was always exposed to the light of day, to the shaming of the public and the sanctions of the law. No one questioned you if you admitted your uncle assaulted you in the barn. You never saw moonbat dithering or bureaucratic hand-wringing back then, I can tell you. When Americans were told crimes had been committed, they acted. Credit our independence and self-reliance.

But nowadays, nobody lifts a finger to help you after you’re molested. Such is modern life, we’re left to live in shame with our secrets. It’s even more tragic when you notice the explosion in reports of child molestation. I’m not sure how that happened. Of course, in the old days, children were never raped because that was pre-hippie American morality for you.

Incidentally, did you see? If anyone’s mysterious nature is on display, it’s the rapist’s. If there’s a self-reliant American in the cast, it’s Jerry Sandusky. He didn’t just rise to become defense coordinator of a pre-eminent football program, he bootstrapped that gig into creating a charity to select and groom targets. A clever man, Jerry orchestrated the whole thing to go on under cover of Penn State’s avant garde exercise improvisation.

Marvel at the ingenuity: taking the process of trolling local communities for vulnerable kids and reversing it. Getting children to come to him. They thought they knew and trusted him even before they met him.

And, wow, what a labor saver that was. Upon the offers of unearned trust, the crimes were already half-committed. Say, just how did Jerry manage to do that? Secure a sacred thing he hadn’t earned? By mastering the game of football, the sports metaphor for bedrock American ideals. Hooray!

So, please, let’s not pooh-pooh Sandusky’s energy, innovation and initiative — let’s celebrate it. If there’s a mote of good news for the rugged individualists here, surely it’s Jerry’s example.

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Allen West, political society’s nasty little gossip

Allen West, gossip columnist. Bitch and dish, dish and bitch . .

. . said this week that President Barack Obama was intentionally crippling the U.S. economy because he was a “marxist” and a “socialist.”

Ooooh, Allen, I just love you. You have dirt on everyone, girl. You get inside. Inside, for you, consists of being inside the heads of your own enemies from inside your own head. Sneaky. Convenient. Normally we’d call you a ‘tail-wagger,’ but, since you’ve gotten so celebrated for doing it, how about ‘Cindy Adams’?

Questions for Cindy? Do you think the president is trying to hurt the economy?

“It is intentional,” West declared. “It is intentional because this is who the president is. The president is a Marxist because he believes in the separation of classes.”

Oh snap. The ‘separation of classes’ is what Marxism and Communism were meant to destroy. Darn. Well, nobody said gossips had brains. It’s probably why they whine for a living.

“. . when you have a national leader that demonizes a certain segment of the society and attacks them, it has never ended up well. Yet, that is what we have. He is a socialist because he believes in nationalizing production.”

He’s, uh, waah? Taking his ‘Class War Revue’ coast to coast? Well, that is news. Score another for Cindy.

“President Obama’s policies have had a devastating effect on our economy, not just unemployment but investment,” conservative radio host Michael Berry told West Monday.

“The whole gambit,” West agreed.

Gambit: “A maneuver, stratagem, or ploy, especially one used at an initial stage.” No, Cindy. Witness the glitch in a gossip’s software: the need to look substantive. The want to appear intelligent and relevant while actually being useless. Tough gig. And then, there’s the bigger glitch: attending those personal needs through public malice. Wouldn’t want to be you, Cindy.

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It’s time someone took Kitty Werthmann down a peg

Hullooo, it’s me! Say, pals, are you sick of stupid propaganda? Have you grown tired of hysteria? Do you feel like slapping the next fool who compares Adolf Hitler to Obama?

Get ready to knock an old lady off her rocker. Kitty Werthmann is a shriveled wingnut with a killer gig. An Austrian survivor of the Third Reich, Kitty speaks to conservative throngs. She wows them with first-hand accounts of life under Adolf. Which, I’ll admit, is pretty interesting stuff, if only it stopped there.

But the actual tortured past is not enough for Kitty. Today’s glorious right-wing offers too much money and adoration. So she appears before Tea Party crowds, talks about how Hitler employed millions, built freeways and ass-fucked humanity, and the teabaggers turn to jelly. They go home and start breathless internet threads about Obammunist Fascism, or they send you annoying e-mails featuring the wrinkled prune of doom.

Like her, Kitty’s routine is old and lazy. A gift of the lottery of long life, her eyewitness schtick is: ‘You Americans, I’m warning you. Your Socialist president is just like Adolf Hitler…’ You can’t argue with that! Well, bet me. She was there! Fuck off, and get some breath mints.

“In 1938, the media reported that Hitler rolled into Austria with tanks and guns and took us over. Not true at all. The Austrian people elected Hitler by 98% of the vote by means of the ballot box. Now, you might ask, ‘How could a Christian nation, almost 100% Catholic, to elect a monster like Hitler?’ The truth is, at the beginning, Hitler didn’t look like or talk like a monster at all. He talked like an American politician.”

. . the crowd breaks into applause. The jig is up, and Kitty’s off and running. You see? Barack’s a mere couple months from gassing you.

Sadly, she has no gift for haute entertainment: Kitty doesn’t know when to let a crowd off the hook. She is Adolf and overkill, nothing else. After the opening, she smashes the bank of right-wing hot buttons with everything she’s got: politicians, speeches, child care, centralization, Bella Jesse Boxer Abzug, nationalization of the car industry, nationalization of the banks, nationalization of churches and farms, the ERA(?), abortion, Mexicans, communists, political indoctrination, euthanasia, Deutscheland Uber Alles, and gun control. And thus the point: it’s all happening!

But Kitty’s pathetic. Wanna know why the idiot historians said “In 1938, the media reported Hitler rolled into Austria with tanks and guns and took us over”? Because in 1938, Hitler rolled into Austria with tanks and guns and took the nation over.

Under growing pressure from German-supported Austrian National Socialists, and Hitler (who was born in Austria), Austrian Chancellor Kurt Schuschnigg felt his nation could soon be consumed by its Nazi neighbor. To deflect the threat, Schuschnigg called for a national plebiscite on the question of remaining an independent nation. It was so effective a ploy, the vote likely resulting in a rejection of Germany, that it unfortunately catalyzed the end of free Austria: the home-baked Nazis rose up and Hitler threatened an all-out attack. Seeing bloodshed on the horizon, Schuschnigg and his cabinet resigned. The tanks rolled in the next day, and Hitler swung by a couple days after. That’s when they held a second sham plebiscite where (whaddyaknow!) the Nazis ‘won’.

Werthmann starts her talks by citing that vote — which Hitler’s minions claimed they won by not 98%, but by 99% — as the dishonest way to warn you how easily the decimation of America, the death of you and the start of a genocide, could happen.

I’d call her preposterous, but watch the video for yourself. She’s more than that. What do you say about someone who, in 2011, is telling you the witnesses lied in 1938? That it was Hitler who told the truth? What do you note of someone who tells you that liberals are crazy, murderous lunatics? Who says “Keep your guns! Keep your guns and buy more guns!” Kitty’s living proof a fascist can outlive the Third Reich.


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You say Michele Bachmann is smart? How, exactly?

National Review:

Bachmann Smart, Media Dumb
Stanley Kurtz | June 14, 2011

Seems like only yesterday when Michele Bachmann was supposed to be dumb. Come to think of it, it was yesterday, until about 8:30pm anyway. I found out how silly it was to think of Bachmann that way late last year, when I heard her speak at David Horowitz’s Restoration Weekend. I was sitting at a table full of professor types. We kept turning to each other and saying, “This woman is sharp, not at all the dunce she’s been portrayed as.”

I suppose this is what the National Review has to do. Somebody better do something to justify all that pay. Michele Bachmann is running for President, the bigwigs like her, it’s high time to prop her up.

Her being crazy stupid, or stupid crazy, makes her unelectable. But it’s not Stanley Kurtz’s job to point the fact out, it’s his job to whistle it past the graveyard.

Is this sort of makeover good for politics? Good for the country? They’ll tell you: A skull-hacked, maggot-infested side of goat– if it were a loyal Republican — would be great for the country.

So you get a ‘Michele Bachmann is razor sharp’ post, like this one. Where did all the free floating anti-genius animus come from, incidentally? Bigoted misogynists, AKA liberals:

Liberalism nowadays may be the last great holdout of old-fashioned prejudice. By telling themselves [BLAH BLAH BLAH] flip side of liberal guilt is this hidden license to hate.

You can call me bigoted. I do hate stuff like this:

“Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat, which became a donkey, which became a human being? There’s a real lack of evidence from change from actual species to a different type of species. That’s where it’s difficult to prove.”

I happen to be a biologist (no kidding). And the evidence for speciation and its many roles in evolution is substantial. Similarly, the evidence for Bachmann being eminently unqualified to judge Science and evolutionary scientists is overwhelming.

This leads me to an eternal mystery: Why are stupid people so arrogant? For example, who’d be so presumptuous to pronounce upon the spiritual fitness of a person, Melissa Etheridge, whom one has never met? Particularly while Melissa’s life hangs in the balance?

“Unfortunately she is now suffering from breast cancer, so keep her in your prayers. This may be an opportunity for her now to be open to some spiritual things, now that she is suffering with that physical disease. She is a lesbian.”

Bachmann’s gall is atomic-powered. And I believe that’s it. That’s the key to understanding the difference between how the two sides view ‘smarts.’

Our side would be more interested in accumulating facts, appreciating realities and nuance, and integrating all of this into a complicated but prioritized world view. Their side would be more interested in accumulating just enough tidbits of ‘truth’ to wield with spirit in defense of some Sacred American thing. One side sees the world as complex and ever-expanding, daunting but providing stimulation and opportunities. The other sees the world as America. Period. (but look at how it’s being destroyed! [note: it's always being destroyed])

With this in mind, watch this, if it pleases you. Perhaps each of the two sides could see this clip and say the same thing: “Our side got the better of the exchange.”

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Tea Party Hitler Youth

Love this stuff. It’s indoctrination, pure and simple.

Tea party group offers summer camp
By Marlene Sokol | Tuesday, June 14, 2011

TAMPA — . . the [Tampa 912 Project], which falls under the tea party umbrella, hopes to introduce kids ages 8 to 12 to principles that include “America is good,” “I believe in God,” and “I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.”

God shed his grace on me. And crown my good with eff you.

Children will win hard, wrapped candies to use as currency for a store, symbolizing the gold standard. On the second day, the “banker” will issue paper money instead. Over time, students will realize their paper money buys less and less, while the candies retain their value.

Until the kids start sucking on the ingots. But fear not. They’ll soon be tinkling gold. Beats the hell out of the parents — they’ve been sucking unproductively all their lives.

Another example: Starting in an austere room where they are made to sit quietly, symbolizing Europe, the children will pass through an obstacle course to arrive at a brightly decorated party room (the New World).

That Versailles was pretty drab, wasn’t it?

Red-white-and-blue confetti will be thrown. But afterward the kids will have to clean up the confetti, learning that with freedom comes responsibility.

Well, there’s an historical revision. Since when do cowboys bother to bury Indians?

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You know who else were poor masters of Nazi history? Right wing anti-union bloggers.

Hitler loved the unions? He was a fan of their members? Really? Der Fuhrer drove the creation of a bunch of big ol’ unions, welcomed collective bargaining, collective assembly and striking? He relished independent worker power, machination and media?

Yeah, that’s the Adolf we’ve all grown to know and love. Just how fucking high does a silly wingnut have to be?

Sherrod Brown Wrongly Claims Hitler Opposed Unions
by Dan Riehl | Mar 4, 2011

. . Here is a direct quote from Hitler on trade unions.

“I think that I have already answered the first question adequately. In the present state of affairs I am convinced that we cannot possibly dispense with the trades unions. On the contrary, they are among the most important institutions in the economic life of the nation. Not only are they important in the sphere of social policy but also, and even more so, in the national political sphere. For when the great masses of a nation see their vital needs BLAH BLAH . .”

You quote Mein Kampf at our own peril. You’d think, given the author, these internet geniuses might be wary of his honesty. What if the book was written as less of a confessional and as more of a propaganda effort? It’s possible, you know.

Back in 1926, when Mein Kampf was released, Hitler wasn’t long out of prison where he’d sat trying to figure out to how to rally his followers and recruit independent Germans to his cause. His book succeeded. By May of 1933, he’d come to power. Quote:

“We must close union offices, confiscate their money and put their leaders in prison. We must reduce workers salaries and take away their right to strike.”

That’s a union guy for you. He abolished them all, sent their leaders to prison, and consolidated their members into a single, Nazi government institution called the Deutsche Arbeitsfront. No more independence, collective bargaining or striking. You’re part of the Nazi government now, union member. Feel free to partake of the Third Reich’s “Strength Through Joy” leisure program.

Hitler Didn’t Outlaw Unions – As a National Socialist, He Went Double-Down On Them
Brooks Bayne | The Graph | Feb 21, 2011

Time and time again, the collectivist left in America chooses hyperbole when championing their economy-killing objectives. Most recently, as in the case of the socialist union (yes, they were created by socialists and Marxists) protests in Wisconsin, you see many signs being wielded by the neo-Marxist rubes BLAH BLAH . .

Hey Brooks — what about the Third Reich seizing control of all the workers? That ain’t really liberal, right?

what’s the problem with the government running the unions? leftists love the government to run everything! they routinely fight for more government control and regulation everyday. so, from my pov, a union (EXACTLY what the daf was) controlled by a strong central government should be lauded by the left, unless they’re being hypocrites, that is.

LOVE that. Bayne-ian Socialism, a completely new beast, invented on the spot.

Forget about nationalizing industries (what your History books call “the means of production”), that’s the old way of doing things. It’s time to ‘nationalize’ people. Nationalize the workers — how could it get any more leftist and progressive than that? After all, who really wants their demands met? Who wants to protract some fight for economic rights? Fuck that silliness. What do you think unionizing is, after all, if it isn’t an effort to hand worker power to ever larger, more unaccountable authorities?

Hey Brooks — you know what else Hitler the Socialist did? Two months after trade union decimation, Adolf ‘nationalized’ politics. He abolished the other political parties and encouraged all their members to join Germany’s new, single one: his. You don’t get any more liberal than that.

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Conservatives make up role for yet-to-be-invented ‘Socialism’ in Thanksgiving

Tell me about Thanksgiving.

“Okay, well . . the Pilgrims were new to America, and the Indians helped them out with their farming. So when those first crops succeeded that year, they . . *SLAP* . . OW! HEY!!

You’re not even close, you moron:

“The Pilgrims at Plymouth Colony organized their farm economy along communal lines,” [John Stossel] continues. “The goal was to share the work and produce equally. That’s why they nearly all starved . .”

“When people can get the same return with less effort, most people make less effort,” he remarks. “Plymouth settlers faked illness rather than working the common property. Some even stole, despite their Puritan convictions. Total production was too meager to support the population, and famine resulted. This went on for two years.”

Got that? They were starving to death. That’s why they called a three day holiday and shared their non-existant food with the natives. That Obama fool tried to sell the same ‘grateful for first harvest abundance’ myth on Wednesday.

“So, we were the invaders,” complained Limbaugh. “We were incompetent idiots. We didn’t know how to feed ourselves so they came along and showed us how and that’s what Thanksgiving is all about.”

“This has got to be parody,” Limbaugh said. “Somebody is toying with me. [...] He says nothing about the Constitution in his Thanksgiving Day proclamation because he’s got a problem with it,” Limbaugh claimed.

. . ah, the Constitution. Written just after landing on Plymouth Rock? Deeply influenced by Age of Enlightenment Europeans and Pilgrims born in the following century.

“The true story of Thanksgiving is how socialism failed. Of course we showed them gratitude. We shared our bounty with them. Not because we didn’t know how to make it. It’s because we first failed as socialists. Only when we turned capitalists did we have plenty. The Indians didn’t teach us capitalism.”

Okay. So Thanksgiving isn’t about that first Thanksgiving when the Pilgrims were still just commie failures. Even though that’s the whole point of the story: offering thanks for surviving long enough to see the first harvest in the New World. Right.

Rep. Todd Akin: The Pilgrims Came To America To Flee ‘Unbiblical’ Socialism In The 1620′s
Zaid Jilani | Nov 25th 2010

“It might be helpful to think back and say, there’s more to Thanks-giving than the Pilgrims. They were a group of people who were willing to change the system, to think of different ideas. They came here and separated civil and church governments. They came here and created the model of a written constitution, the idea that the government should be the servant of the people. […] They came here with the idea that after trying socialism that it wasn’t going to work. They realized that it was unbiblical, that it was a form of theft, so they pitched socialism out.

. . we can remember their first Thanksgiving when they put a few kernels of corn on a plate to remind them of how close to starving to death they had been at one time.”


It’s all a bit confusing. Just when did that pesky ‘Socialism’ get banished from the Pilgrims’ centralized government apparatus? No earlier than the Industrial Revolution, after it first showed up.


. . h/t ThinkProgress . .

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Angry, money-grubbing Tennessee bureaucrats demand firefighters allow family’s house to burn

Senseless government is the worst, right?

Greedy bureaucrats who demanded a yearly $75 fee for fire-fighting required firemen to stand down as a fire destroyed the house of a family who hadn’t paid.

The fire reportedly continued for hours “because garden hoses just wouldn’t put it out. It wasn’t until that fire spread to a neighbor’s property, that anyone would respond” — only because the neighbor had paid the fee.

In Republican land, this isn’t a travesty. This is heroic.

. . for their trouble, the South Fulton fire department is being treated as though it has done something wrong, rather than having gone out of its way to make services available to people who did not have them before. The world is full of jerks, freeloaders, and ingrates — and the problems they create for themselves are their own. These free-riders have no more right to South Fulton’s firefighting services than people in Muleshoe, Texas, have to those of NYPD detectives.

You see, there’s a philosophy here. If you offer services to people who’d pay the fees once their house is burning, no one will pay in advance. Then you can’t have a fee-for-fire-department thing — it’s got to be set up before fires break out. So, you must not douse the fires burning non-fee-payers’ houses. It’d be the same insanity as McDonald’s giving away hamburgers, heavens. That way, the costs of state services are kept to a minimum, yay!

Of course, anybody with a brain will opt in after a lurid, money-centric disaster like this, so the fee becomes identical to a tax, and then the fire-contractors become firemen who fight fires whenever and wherever they show up. BOO!
BIG GOVERNMENT FIRE DILDOES! BOOOOOOO!

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*sound of Dick Morris sucking toes* . . wait . . WAIT . . GOOOOAL

Soccer Is a Socialist Sport
By Marc Thiessen
June 30, 2010, 11:52 am

. . The world is crazy for soccer, but most Americans don’t give a hoot about the sport. Why? Many years ago, my former White House colleague Bill McGurn pointed out to me the real reason soccer hasn’t caught on in the good old U.S.A. It’s simple, really: Soccer is a socialist sport.

(. . in an anonymous suburban entertainment cavern, over blaring channel interruptions . .)

*click* *click* . . nothin’ much on today, Steve-O. *click* When’s the football draft again?

*click* . . wait, Bob. What the hell is that?

. . hmm, some sort of game, in a giant stadium . .

. . with, like, 20 dudes standing around on the field . .

. . while the referees go crazy and kick balls into these netted thingies . .

*pause*

It’s almost as if . . the government controlled the means of production . .

Think about it. Soccer is the only sport in the world where you cannot use the one tool that distinguishes man from beast: opposable thumbs.

*click* *click* . . nothin’ much on today, Steve-O. *click* When’s the football draft again?

*click* Aw, fuck that, Bob. Boring. *click* Don’t they have that Swedish strongman thing on, somewhere? *click* That’s funny.

*click* *pause* Whoa! What the hell is that?!

*another pause* . . wha . . they’re . . kicking the ball?

*pause* . . yeah.

*pause*

*pause* *shot on goal* WHOA! These dudes are out of their freakin’ minds!

Totally FUCKING CRAZY! Feet! Kicking everything! *laughs*

*laughs harder*

. . hoo . .

. . hehe . .

*pause*

. . hmm. You know what that means? The government controls the means of production.

“No hands” is a rule only a European statist could love. (In fact, with the web of high taxes and regulations that tie the hands of European entrepreneurs, “no hands” kind of describes their economic theories as well.)

( . . with Klaus The Collectivist and Boris Bag-O-Borscht, as they are about to toss the CEO of American Eagle Products And Innovation into the East River . .)

Boris!

What!?

The anchor! Tied to his FEET?

. . eh . .

JEEZ!

. . oh, HAH! Sorry, boss.

What are we — capitalist pigs?

Capitalist sports are exciting—people often hit each other, sometimes even score. Soccer fans are excited by an egalitarian 0-0 tie. When soccer powerhouses Brazil and Portugal met recently at the World Cup, they played for 90 minutes—and combined got just eight shots on net (and zero goals). Contrast this with the most exciting sports moment last week, which came not at the World Cup, but at Wimbledon, when American John Isner won in a fifth-set victory that went 70-68.

Those were the greatest 11 hours in sports anti-history. Thank god for barely incremental tie-breaking. And for tennis, where the gladiators face death by locker room stare and taunting directed through the umpire, who is usually a banker. People across the Continent who Tivo’d the match tossed their units into the canals, and everybody’s gondolas fell asleep and drowned.

Why is Marc bothering with Soccer, anyway?

Perhaps in the age of President Obama, soccer will finally catch on in America. But I suspect that socializing Americans’ taste in sports may be a tougher task than socializing our healthcare system.

Aww, he feels sad. Markie doesn’t want the sports thugs on his back? Wants to be left alone? Turn off the TV.

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. . and for a smackdown lesson in rugged individualism, Confederate Yankee offers you a parliament of tulips

Wingnut and notoriously lazy blogger Confederate Yankee posts another gem.

In Conserva-circles, a “gem” appears to be a chunk of somebody else’s work that you Dutch individualmis-read, mis-interpret and then put up as your own opinion. Come to think of it, that’s also “rank stupidity” and “Conservative punditry,” something of a Norton Utility for right-wing internettia. If only “Norton” were “Kristolbennetto’reilly.” Anyway, it must be an especially useful practice when your own weak-backed analysis can’t manage more than 20 or 30 words of ricocheting irony.

This one’s a howler. In a post he titled “Governed by Fools” (*cough*), he bracketed the cut-and-paste job with the only effort he muscled up for the affair, two sentences:

They mismanage wars, economies, and even disasters:

[...]

Why, why do liberals place such blind trust in legendary incompetence of government bureaucrats, instead of the ingenuity of the people?

Why, oh why, my Jeebus? Governments and arrogance and fascism and bureaucrats and statism and socialism, oh lordy. When will you collectivist a-holes finally look to the individual? (In this case, by Yankee link, to a gritty American entrepreneur by the name of “Kevin Costner.”) When?!

Anyway, here’s the point, or someone else’s, so vital that he had to copy it onto his site:

The Dutch know how to handle maritime emergencies. In the event of an oil spill, The Netherlands government, which owns its own ships and high-tech skimmers, gives an oil company 12 hours to demonstrate it has the spill in hand. If the company shows signs of unpreparedness, the government dispatches its own ships at the oil company’s expense. “If there’s a country that’s experienced with building dikes and managing water, it’s the Netherlands,” says Geert Visser, the Dutch consul general in Houston.

That socialist Dutch government: there go a pile of bad-asses. No kidding, see for yourself.

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John Derbyshire humbles Wikipedia with his memory

April 13, 2010 12:00 A.M.
March Diary
John Derbyshire
I remember it now . .
The Left in power
Watching the president’s strutting and preening after the passing of the health-care bill, I found myself thinking that the Left in power have a very characteristic kind of arrogant triumphalism.

“I’m in this race not just to hold an office, but to gather with you to transform a nation,” announced Obama when declaring his candidacy in 2007. That’s what they’re like, all of them, always.

Everything and everybody on the left are always exactly like that all of the time. Well, that’s simple enough, that’s settled. Don’t know why he even bothers with the quotes to make his case since he’s just established all of it totally and eternally beyond the limits of clarity.

Surprisingly, John doesn’t completely bollix this first quote. Obama invoked the memory of Abraham Lincoln: “. . that there is power in conviction. That beneath all the differences of race and region, faith and station, we are one people. He tells us that there is power in hope. That is our purpose here today. That is why I’m in this race. Not just to hold an office, but to gather with you to transform a nation.”

“We shall now create the socialist order,” Lenin is supposed to have said, following his 1917 putsch.

Quote: “We shall now proceed to construct the socialist order.” Don’t know why John is so allergic to the google.

After the British Labour Party’s 1945 electoral landslide, the new government’s attorney general declared that “We are the masters now.”

No.

(Wikipedia says this is a misquotation; but if so, it was, as misquoted, entirely in character for the socialist triumphalism of the time, as evidenced by the fact that that’s how everybody remembers it.)

Unbelievable. Now he googles. So he knows he’s made a mistake, but posts it anyways explaining that his mistake is actually right. “. . as evidenced by the fact that that’s how everybody remembers it.” Truthiness, everybody? That’s evidence, to him. Hey, as long as it’s popular, it must be true. If everybody remembered that Derbyshire were 110 years old, he’d immediately keel over and turn to dust.

“We are the masters now.” — Hartley Shawcross [C]

* Actual quotation: “We are the masters at the moment and shall be for some considerable time.” In a 1945 debate to repeal the Conservatives’ “Trade Disputes Act” of 1927 this followed a quotation from Through the Looking-Glass in which Humpty-Dumpty observed that the question of definitions of words depended upon who was master.

The Shawcross Wiki says it was in 1946. But was it some of the give and take in the House of Commons about the usage of terms and words? Naw: it was a declarative statement of the eternally tyrannical intent of liberalism. Why? Because John Derbyshire made his memory the master of “truth.” Actually, it’s his memory of everybody else’s memory, but why bitch about it? It’s only reason number 1,398 of “Why Conservatives are Technically Even More Right When They’re Wrong.” Here’s the Humpty Dumpty passage:

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in a rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master – that’s all.”

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything . .

Indeed. Why should any history matter, the actual events of life? The master’s perception of everything is a better indicator of truth than “truth.” Who says so? The master himself. And this post is about the way he remembers something. At least until he writes another post, that one entitled “The Evils Of Liberal Historical Revisionism.” It’s then that he’ll remember Truth is Sacred.

Oh, and incidentally, it doesn’t matter how many smoking hot young blondes Rod Stewart marries, he’s gay. Remember that whole hospitalized-with-a-stomach-full-of-goo thing? That’s the one and only way everybody remembers it.

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