A journalism professor from Marshall University takes to the West Virgina Gazette op-ed section and argues for gun control. The piece is a little rough but I like this bit. It’s a page right out of the conservative playbook:
Here it is. The NRA advocates armed rebellion against the duly elected government of the United States of America. That’s treason, and it’s worthy of the firing squad. The B.S. needs a serious gut check. We are not a tin pot banana republic where machine gun toting rebel groups storm the palace and depose the dictator.
Normally, I am a peaceable man, but in this case, I am willing to answer the call to defend the country. From them.
To turn the song lyric they so love to quote back on them, “We’ll put a boot in your —, it’s the American way.”
. . from the halls of Montezuma to the shores of . .ahem. You tell ‘em.
Of course, you know this means war:
Professor: What America Really Needs Now Is a Violent Civil War to Kill Off the NRA
Bryan Preston | PJ Media | May 31, 2013
More honesty, this time from a Professor Christopher Swindell. But he starts his own honest heartcry with a lie.
Here it is. The NRA advocates armed rebellion against the duly elected government of the United States of America.
No, it doesn’t. The NRA advocates fidelity to the U.S. Constitution.
Good boy. Now roll over.
That’s treason, and it’s worthy of the firing squad.
If he was a professor of history, he might know that even Benedict Arnold didn’t get the firing squad.
Isn’t he adorable? The only reason we didn’t execute Benedict Arnold was because he fled to the Hudson River and hired locals to row him to the H.M.S. Vulture. Americans had only the day before captured his British co-conspirator John Andre and extracted, from the Major’s boot, Benedict’s plans to surrender West Point.
General Washington was not pleased. Andre was hanged.
Washington later dispatched a group of patriots to New York in order to abduct Benedict and return him to custody. Documents from the period do not support the contention that the Americans only wanted to talk to Arnold. And return his mixed tapes. The group nearly captured him.
After Arnold and 1600 Redcoats attacked Virginia in December of 1780, Washington dispatched the Marquis de Lafayette. His orders: Capture the traitor. Then hang him from the nearest tree. But the revolutionaries never did because, you know, they actually kinda liked the guy, cough.