in 2010, you quietly left your wife and kids for another woman. In 2011, you were a Senate supporter of Governor Walker’s efforts to attack workers and disenfranchise labor unions. In March, when it was discovered your live-in girlfriend, Valerie Cass, was a woman barely out of college and barely half your age, you hid from the press. When it became public she was a right-wing lobbyist who wangled a cushy job with your buddy’s administration, you hid from the press.

When the petitions for your recall were being circulated, you hid from the press. When your wife and housekeeper said they would gladly sign them, you hid from the press. When your polls were tanking, you hid from the press. When you lost the recall, you hid from the press.

3 months later — finally – someone spotted you:

At 5:30 p.m. Sunday, a citizen dialed 911 to report a black Suburban “all over the road” on Highway 151 near County Trunk WH in Peebles, said Chief Deputy Mark Strand . .

“We were able to get a deputy in the area. The vehicle (Hopper’s) got called in about a mile from Highway 23” . .

There was one passenger in the car, Valerie Cass, 26, of Fond du Lac, according to dispatch logs . .

Hopper refused to take a preliminary breath test when he was stopped by officers, Strand said. He was put through field sobriety tests. He failed those tests, he said.

Peek-a-boo, we see you.

He’s just yer regular, old, salt-of-the-Earth Wisconsinite. Stabbing his middle class neighbors in the throat. Bailing on his wife to go live with his 25 year-old hottie, with her posh right-wing lobbying job and lingering, cosmopolitan baby fat:

WI Repub lives outside district with mistress, says wife
By David Ferguson | Sunday, March 13th, 2011 | RawStory

Protesters who marched at the home of Wisconsin state senator Randy Hopper (R-Fond du Lac) were met with something of a surprise on Saturday. Mrs. Hopper appeared at the door and informed them that Sen. Hopper was no longer in residence at this address, but now lives in Madison, WI with his 25-year-old mistress.

Woah. They were just looking to recall the sonuvabitch for being a Walker-esque, union-busting jerk? And the wife dropped dime on Mr. Family Values? Excellent.

Blogging Blue reports that the conservative Republican’s much-younger new flame is currently employed as a lobbyist for right-wing advocacy group Persuasion Partners, Inc., but was previously a state senate staffer who worked on the Senate Economic Development Committee alongside Mr. Hopper. Her bio has been scrubbed from the Persuasion Partners’ website, but a screen-grab is available here.

Here’s Sen. Douche:

Could be his two kids there, probably is. Not really sure, though. His biography is suspiciously difficult to pin down. His life story (certainly his wife’s story) has gotten a recent scrubbing by staffers and friends.

“Citing recent threats during the budget repair bill battle, Republican Senator Randy Hopper says he will not participate in Saturday’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Fond du Lac,” reports WBAY TV. “In a written statement, Senator Hopper said, ‘I had looked forward to walking the parade route and sharing this celebration with my family, friends, neighbors, and constituents, but I, in no way, want to put the citizens of Fond du Lac in harm’s way.’”

Oh Lord no. Not Randy Hopper, no sir. He really cares about others. He wonders how they’re doing. Hey there, buddy — how you been?

Got a strabismus and a wicked case of dry eye. Still — all smiles, Senator!

And you, baby — how you doing?

Aw, you know how I’m doing. Come home.

Note: My original post included an image of a woman who appeared to be Valerie Cass but was not. I offer my apologies to the mis-identified Valerie.