Tag Archives: you’re not special

Masters of War and Civility

Some people are so fucking civilized they have to prove it to you.

A kid sitting next to me in the café in Charlotte beat his plate with a fork and yelled at the top of his lungs for about half an hour. It sure was annoying until I realized it was a good chance to remind him that he wasn’t as special as his mother had told him. Sure, his mother was sitting right next to him. But she was too drunk to raise an objection. And who could blame her for drinking after giving birth to a monster like that?

A guy nearly knocked me down in a mad rush to get his bag off the conveyer belt. I told him to be careful because he might knock the safety off of my concealed 45 Auto. He didn’t get the joke, largely because he didn’t speak English. That gave me an excellent opportunity to remind him that he wasn’t mucho especial.

See how Mike did that? Telling the Mexican off in his own Español? Class.

Speaking of John Fucking Bolton . .

“You know, every foreign service officer in every foreign ministry in the world knows the phrase I am about to use, when you don’t want to go to a meeting or conference or an event, you have a ‘diplomatic illness,’” he said on Fox News. “And this is a ‘diplomatic illness’ to beat the band.”

And now Secretary Clinton is in the hospital. Pretty goddamned civilized.

Share