Todd Kincannon’s Family Values Sext Penis

Now that we know South Carolina Republican badass Todd Kincannon is more than a spineless troll who only threatens women on Twitter, or merely says he wants to cornhole their sisters, or offhandedly anoints them with nicknames like ‘Crabby Cunt’, now that we now know he beats his wife scary silly and then promises to kill her – and kill himself – if she speaks a word of his criminal desperation to anyone, it’s probably a good time to tell you that the Toddster has long been in the habit of sending those same women pictures of his penis.

wife beaters dick

You can see that Todd is one cracking top-notch lawyer. Anyone who could draw up such a court-worthy filth agreement would have to be, right? Friends, if you simply cannot help yourself and must witness Todd’s POV dong, feel free to click on the image. You will be whisked away to conservablog ‘The Trenches’, and they will have the full sexting story.

kincannon send me nudes dammit

Otherwise may it suffice to say that Todd’s fragile world is ruled by anonymous women who refuse to take their clothes off, which is why they’re worthy of his abuse.


Todd Kincannon’s Family Values

Like, a terrible shock.

kincannon licks

Really. Of all the people, hooda thunk that Todd Kincannon would beat his wife?

Ashely continued to tell me after leaving the work function, James [nomme de wingnutte: James John Todd Kincannon] began screaming at Ashely while they drove in their car. Ashely told James to let her out of their car to which he refused. Ashely proceeded to roll down the window and scream for James to let her out, hoping a bystander would call 9-1-1.

Yeah, that’s probably not going to stop him.

kincannon janay palmer

Ashley continued to tell me she called her mother for help and attempted to call 9-1-1 with an open line in order for the dispatcher to hear James. While driving, James saw a police vehicle and ‘freaked out.’ James threatened he would drive the car into a concrete barrier if the cops became involved. In addition, James also threatened to kill himself if Ashely left.

Threatened to kill the Toddster? Get in line, pal. Oh NO I mean, uhh, dear me…

Ashely continued to tell me James has made several threats in the past to kill himself, her, and her family. Furthermore, Ashely said she has past incidents of domestic violence and threats of homicide/suicide recorded. I saw no visible injuries to Ashely, she provided me with a written statement, and was issued a victim’s pamphlet. It should be noted Ashely was trembling as she wrote her statement.

Todd’s poor wife [nomme de Stepford: Ashely Suzanne Griffith Kincannon. Quote: 'Wife. Christian. South Carolinian.' BOOM.] also mentioned this: “…they ‘have a history of unreported domestic violence.’ She said she was ‘extremely fearful’ of Kincannon and described him as being ‘extremely traditional’ and controlling…” Just the BIGGEST of surprises, huh?

kincannon fuck your sister

But The Toddinator had a perfectly good explanation:

I was diagnosed … with an allergic reaction to Benzonatate. Apparently a very small percentage of people go absolutely nuts when they take the stuff, and I’m apparently in that very small percentage.

Thoroughly plausible. He’s a criminal misogynist and creep because of some cough suppressant.


Gilding the Galileos

As we know there are known knowns. We also know there are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know. And if one looks throughout the history of our country and other free countries, it is the latter category that tend to be the difficult ones.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you…Ted Cruz.

On the global warming alarmists, anyone who actually points to the evidence that disproves their apocalyptical claims, they don’t engage in reasoned debate.

Trailing the candidate, you see a looming infinity of blackness that Ted deigns to call ‘climate denial evidence.’ And from hell’s heart he stabs at thee, with his finger, but then are any of the quote-unquote scientists impressed? Do they fall on their asses like a bunch of acorn-humping squirrels struck by sheet lightning? Nope.

Today, the global warming alarmists are the equivalent of the flat-Earthers. It used to be [that] it is accepted scientific wisdom the Earth is flat, and this heretic named Galileo was branded a denier.

He’s really slingin’ some bullshit. Stephen Jay Gould:

…there never was a period of ‘flat earth darkness’ among scholars (regardless of how the public at large may have conceptualized our planet both then and now). Greek knowledge of sphericity never faded, and all major medieval scholars accepted the Earth’s roundness as an established fact of cosmology.

There were people who believed the Flat Earth canard, but they weren’t the scientists of the world. They were the philosophers, priests, historians and everyday fools. To say that it was “scientific wisdom” is to say the one thing we know to be false.

Oh, and of course Galileo had nothing to do with any of it. By his time, the idea was long-since dead. Instead to his credit, and his misfortune, he supported Copernicus’ view that the Earth revolved around the sun. But you know hey whatever man, old scientists and famous controversies. Did somebody say this Cruz guy was a debate champion? He’s a stupid git. If being dead wrong were the Olympics, snootface would be on a Wheaties cover.

The newly announced GOP presidential candidate told David Brody, of the Christian Broadcasting Network, that religious conservatives must take back their political dominance, reported Right Wing Watch.

More Cruz rhetoric? Sure.

“This country remains a country, I believe, grounded in values, grounded in faith, but far too many Christians have ceded the public arena to people who aren’t believers,” Cruz said.

Look what happened to Hollywood, for example. Not long ago the atheists had only begun to make movies of their own. The features were heathen farces, typically built around million year-old dinosaurs come back to life, or prostitutes with hearts of gold. No one thought much about it because they certainly weren’t profitable or popular, but they were eagerly received by beatnik professors and Russian poets. And because of the sway those folks held over your children – well, you remember what happened next…



On the 2016 climate deniers

Media critic and NYU journalism prof Jay Rosen (and offhand namer of names): “Journalists have to decide what to do about candidates who are climate change denialists.” He takes note of the New York Times:

We have made a conscious decision that we are not going to take that point of view seriously. …That the Times had made an exception [to both-siderism] in the case of climate change denialism was welcome news, an important development, but as soon as I saw Adam Bryant’s statement, I thought: Let’s wait for the 2016 campaign. Then we’ll see.

As of yesterday we have the first presidential candidate, Ted Cruz. We have the official start of the 2016 campaign, and we have someone who will bullshit everybody about perhaps the greatest challenge to ever face humanity. So it’s all begun.

And he won’t be the only liar. Here are your Republican contenders:

(1) Flat-Earthers, who deny the existence of manmade climate change; (2) Born-Again Flat-Earthers, who do the same, but who had admitted climate change exists back before President Obama took office; (3) Do-Nothings, who sort of admit the reality of climate change but oppose actually taking any steps to prevent it; and (4) Dodgers, who have avoided saying whether they believe climate change is happening, and who also don’t want to take any steps to alleviate it.

Rosen comes up with a plan. Here are 4 ways a ‘journalist’ can deal with denialism:

1. Normalize it: treat denialist claims like any other campaign position…
2. Savvy analysis: is denialism a winning move or is it costing the candidate?…
3. Persistence: Call it what it is — a rejection of the science — and keep calling it that…
4. Confrontation: Try to raise the costs of denialism….

What to do? All four paths have problems. In my view 2.) is the worst option, 1.) is not much better, 3.) is probably the best choice, but that doesn’t mean it will make a difference, and 4.) is the riskiest but might be a worth a try.

Rosen’s take is well worth your time. As for Ted Cruz

…I just came back from New Hampshire where there’s snow and ice everywhere. And my view actually is simple. Debates on this should follow science and should follow data. And many of the alarmists on global warming, they’ve got a problem because the science doesn’t back them up. And in particular, satellite data demonstrate for the last 17 years there’s been zero warming, none whatsoever.

Ann Althouse found the time to take in Cruz’s campaign kickoff speech, and she was duly impressed.

ADDED: Let the record show, that at 4:58, I cried.


You sound like you’re going to buy a pony. Promise me you won’t.


First he comes for the banks and health care, uses the IRS to go after critics, politicizes the Justice Department, spies on journalists, tries to curb religious freedom, slashes the military, throws open the borders, doubles the debt and nationalizes the Internet.

He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers.

He lies to the public, ignores the Constitution, inflames race relations and urges Latinos to punish Republican “enemies.” He abandons our ­allies, appeases tyrants, coddles ­adversaries and uses the Crusades as an excuse for inaction as Islamist terrorists slaughter their way across the Mideast.

Now he’s coming for Israel.


Apu's lament

…there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had.


Bleat bleat go the robo-children

World renowned child development experts Dolce and Gabbana – on the attack.

“We oppose gay adoptions. The only family is the traditional one.” They also criticized in vitro fertilization and surrogate parents by saying, “No chemical offspring and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed.”

This is just in case you thought, “I wonder what the 10th Mountain Silk And Taffeta Division think of my kids.” Go on, read it and weep:

“You are born to a mother and a father — or at least that’s how it should be. I call children of chemistry, synthetic children.”

I defy Dolce and/or Gabbana to pore over, sniff up and down, prod or paw at any newborn child and then declare to the world exactly how it was conceived. Good luck geniuses. The denigration of their fellow human beings is classic bigotry. Because they’re uncomfortable with IVF technology, they spout half-baked ideas about mercenary uteruses and chemical embryos when all we’re really talking about is “human biology.” You ought to know better, you two born-gay dicks. Oh look, cyborgs can talk.

Speaking as two donor-conceived young women—alive because of reproductive technologies—we felt an urgent need to respond…in support of Dolce and Gabbana.

Friends, my name is Foghorn Leghorn. And I’d like a minute of your time to tell you about the hard workin’ folks over at Foster Farms…

Those of us conceived non-traditionally are full human beings with equal capacity in every regard—no one need question our humanity. It is not our individual, case-by-case worth as humans that is debatable; rather, it is how we value human beings in general that warrants discussion.

Let’s discuss whether “synthetic children” are properly valued in this world. Seems to me their remarkable existence answers the question. That is, until some asshole declares that they’re all fakes, and then people like you step in to pretend there’s a great philosophical quandary behind the insult.

Has anyone asked [Elton] John for how much he purchased his kids? How much money he and Furnish paid the boy’s genetic and birth mother for their absence and invisibility?

How much money did your mom and dad pay the hospital, huh? GOTCHA! God knows that natural pork-style babies don’t cost anything at all. And throwing yourself one of those “shower” thingies isn’t for defraying any sort of insane costs, it’s for drowning your kid in a bucket of warm water while everybody stands around and cheers – saving yourself millions and millions of dollars.

I (Alana) remember when I was in school and I told my then-best friend the truth about my conception. When our friendship frayed, as tween friendships do, she released my secret as gossip—invisible, quiet, and as poisonous as carbon monoxide fumes—and I became the “test-tube girl.” The label was humiliating.

…which may have something to do with why that nasty little bitch – hup, I mean Domenico Dolce – still gets my wounded respect. And you can untie my hands and remove the ballgag now, I promise I won’t say a word.

And I (Hattie) have undergone a strikingly similar experience; my mother informed me of my true parentage when I was 14, and it was, as they say, irrevocable.

Now I can never go back to the lie! Sniff, bastards.

My mother’s then-husband had waited until they divorced to permit her to tell me, and the revelation of his not being my biological father clarified an overwhelming amount of issues between us. For a multitude of reasons—his background, my personality and beliefs, our lack of biological connection—the cards were stacked against our having a conventional, loving father-daughter relationship. And we didn’t.

We had a bad relationship. Then I found out he wasn’t my dad, and that’s when I knew it was all my fault. Do natural children ever feel this way, or is it only something that comes with being synthetic? See if you can find anything in the engineering section by Judy Blume.


Ben Carson is not ready for primetime

The wingnut select committee for Shining Up Cruddy Presidential Candidates keeps a spacious oak-paneled room at the National Review. And the high-salary flacks spend plenty of their time and energy there. But occasionally, while the Goldbergs and the Lowrys are painstakingly finishing off a Cruz or a Fiorina in high-gloss greasepaint and grey eminince, some poor fool walks by and pops his head in. And he wonders ‘huh’? And then he reaches in to flick the switch, the house lights come on and the view isn’t very pretty.

What do you consider to be their tap root? What is the origin of their rage in your view?

Like when somebody asks Ben Carson about Al Qaeda.

First of all you have to recognize they go back thousands and thousands of years. Really back to the battle between Jacob and Esau.

They go back thousands of years, before Islam. Huh? Well if you simply have to be stupid, you might as well be Christian about it. Re-casting terrorism in Biblical terms will certainly make the holyrollers even more willing to jump into the Middle East and die for your cause. Remembering how the parable – sorry, the cinema vérité – recounts Jacob conning Esau out of his birthright and laying claim to Isaac’s cash and sheep, the cause has a familiar name and address.

Genesis 35:10

God said to him, “Your name is Jacob, but you will no longer be called Jacob; your name will be Israel.” So he named him Israel.

Ben no doubt figures Arabs are always pissed off and penniless because of God and old stupid Esau. Then again, maybe it was because E had a little thing for the Hittite ladies. Against a backdrop of our post-modern mores, that’s like Pat Buchanan going swing dancing with the Negresses downtown.

But it has been a LAND issue for a very long period of time. POSSESSION is very important to them.

I haven’t noticed Al Qaeda putting down any roots. Haven’t seen them building any roads or aqueducts, or a Versailles in the wilds of Yemen. They look more like a bunch of mangy cavedwellers, sneaking around and trying to blow up your natural gas facilities. Like a bunch of terrorists.

…they’re creating an Islamic state. And we can bomb it all we want but unless we actually can take the land back we’re not really doing them any damage.

And the Islamic states already in existence? How much longer must we tolerate them? This is your last warning, Oman. Don’t think we haven’t noticed, Qatar. How much longer will Saudi Arabia be allowed to thumb its nose at us? Or continue to pray toward Mecca?

…our biggest enemies are the group motivated by, that have sprung out of the Sunni radicals. That would be ISIS. And you know, there are a number of sponsored terrorist groups that emanate from the Shiia, which are based primarily in Iran. … But in the long run, I think they would gladly unite against us in their attempt to destroy the United States, our way of life, and Israel.

I don’t think a Republican sex dream gets any wetter than that. Two Muslim factions that have been butchering each other for centuries, they’re going to kiss and make up over the prospect of raiding Vermont. This is altogether likely. Texas and Oklahoma please debate this topic for my edification while I take cover.

Hewitt bonus: Wingnut calendar pinup/night terror Vlade Putin.

The Baltic states are very nervous, and we have troops in the Baltic states. …should we have that sort of commitment, that if Putin makes a move on the Baltic states, we’d go to war?

Send the Marines to Northern Europe. Ben?

Well, if we have them involved in NATO. We need to convince them to get involved in NATO and strengthen NATO.

Estonia: NATO member since 2004. And I’d just bought Ben a Foreign Policy For Dummies, shoot. As Hewitt nears the end of the interview, he admits to being nervous about the candidate because, well, idiot. Hugh predicts that he’s going to get the Sarah Palin treatment. Ben:

…we spend too much time trying to get into these little details that are easily within the purview of the experts that you have available to you… I could spend, you know, the next six years learning all the details of all the SALT treaties and every other treaty that’s ever been done and completely miss the boat.

When I offer to put the Baltic NATO states into NATO, you should look at that in a “Big Picture” way. As in: My administration is trying to do something nice here. Then you get what I mean.


Hail Saturday Morning and War With Iran

My oh me isn’t this WaPo editorial burning up the internet:

The Iranian regime that Netanyahu described so vividly — violent, rapacious, devious and redolent with hatred for Israel and the United States — is bound to continue its quest for nuclear weapons by refusing any “good deal” or by cheating.

This gives force to the Obama administration’s taunting rejoinder: What is Netanyahu’s alternative? War?

‘Netanyahu’s alternative’…as if. ‘War’ to Bibi is what ‘fresh carrots’ are to Bugs Bunny. You might remember him, the lovable screwball who walks around with a giant mallet in his pocket because he’s not much for playing nice. The rabbit is another deal.

This gives force to the Obama administration’s taunting rejoinder: What is Netanyahu’s alternative? War? But the administration’s position also contains a glaring contradiction.

Prepare for glaring, as to be outrageous.

National security adviser Susan Rice declared at an American Israel Public Affairs Committee conference before Netanyahu’s speech that “a bad deal is worse than no deal.” So if Iran will accept only a “bad deal,” what is President Obama’s alternative? War?

‘Contradiction’ still can’t be found anywhere near ‘opinion’ in the dictionary, but OH NO! War is Obama’s only alternative. This begs the serious question: Should we avoid It? Taking into account the soon-to-be death of my neighbor, and his neighbor, and such, I say ‘yes.’ We should avoid It.

But of course I am a idiot. These people are but the really smart ones, and for not better – and for worse – they have perspicacious proposals they simply must propose. Like this one here: How about the other alternative? You know, as in…YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

Does this mean that our only option is war? Yes…

There you have it. Questions, anyone?

Wouldn’t an attack cause ordinary Iranians to rally behind the regime? Perhaps, but military losses have also served to undermine regimes…

Jeepers I wonder. What would happen if Russia attacked Oklahoma, perhaps? What about it? Would Americans rally behind the Obama regime, with their Marines and their tanks and stuff? Yeh I think, perhaps. Maybe, perhaps, some rednecks would also take out their rifles, and mortars and flamethrowers and Serbian long cannons, and fight back. But Over There, I’m sure it’s completely different. I’m betting the Iranians would just lay down and welcome dying. Because it’s America invading after all, and really who wouldn’t want that? Incidentally: In total war one country conquers the other, and then (tiptoeing between the corpses) the losers are forced to do the winners will. Just thought I’d flesh out the WaPo argument for you.

Wouldn’t destroying much of Iran’s nuclear infrastructure merely delay its progress? Perhaps, but we can strike as often as necessary.

Post 9/11 America to the max! We’ll start a war every eighteen months, roughly whenever PBS airs a new episode of Downton Abbey. Will the forsaken Molesley rise above his lowly station? Will the acerbic dowager betray Edith’s awful secret? Wait – modern drama intervenes! It’s War In The Middle East XIV. Tell me: Does Iran have a nuclear bomb? Do they even want one? No one cares! Subtlety makes for crappy ratings!

Yes, there are risks to military action. But Iran’s nuclear program and vaunting ambitions have made the world a more dangerous place. Its achievement of a bomb would magnify that danger manyfold. Alas, sanctions and deals will not prevent this.

Daaanger. DAAANGER. Because nothing is worse than the threat of war, let’s have it.


In the Republican style: New Jersey’s Chris Christie

October of 2010:

The largest public transit project in the nation, a commuter train tunnel under the Hudson River to Manhattan, was halted on Thursday by Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey because, he said, the state could not afford its share of the project’s rising cost…

The governor, a Republican, said he decided to withdraw his support for the project on Thursday after hearing from state transportation officials that the project would cost at least $2.5 billion more than its original price of $8.7 billion.

But Christie lied.

Now, a report from the Government Accountability Office makes it clear that the cost-cutting talk was political bluster. Mr. Christie estimated that the project could cost more than $14 billion, of which New Jersey would have had to pay 70 percent if you counted federal stimulus dollars and Port Authority money. The report said later federal estimates ranged from $9.8 billion to $12.4 billion and that the state’s real share was 14.4 percent. The benefits would have been huge…

The report, which Mr. Christie continues to dispute, cited estimates that home values and tax revenues would have risen, and that the construction would have added $9 billion to the regional economy.

It would have done so much good. But the Governor wasn’t having it.

At the time, analysts predicted that the project would raise New Jersey property values by $18 billion and allow $50 billion in new wages to come back to the state from New York City.

What a tragedy for New Jersey. And none of it makes any sense…until it does.

As Streetsblog reported at the time, it was all about New Jersey’s empty, debt-ridden transportation trust fund. New Jersey’s gas tax, the third-lowest in the country, hasn’t been raised for 23 years. The infrastructure funding woes that can be found across the country, therefore, are even more acute there. When Christie killed the ARC tunnel, the highway trust fund was expected to go bankrupt within a year.

Because the Republican wouldn’t raise the gas tax a couple pennies, the transportation fund was broke. So he killed the tunnel, stole the federal government’s money and then deposited it in New Jersey’s account. And though it earned the state an expensive federal lawsuit, he declared himself Fiscally Responsible. What a clever little man. Maybe he should run for president.

But of course Chris Christie is a big fat liar.

THE decision by the administration of Gov. Chris Christie to settle an environmental lawsuit against Exxon Mobil Corporation for roughly three cents on the dollar after more than a decade of litigation is an embarrassment to law enforcement and good government.

Even more troubling are the circumstances surrounding the decision, which recently came to light. As a judge deliberated whether to assess the $8.9 billion in damages New Jersey sought, the administration stepped in and agreed to take about $250 million and settle the case.

The state of New Jersey had won their environmental damage case against ExxonMobil. Their prosecutors were waiting to see how much – if not all – of their $8.9 billion claim the judge would award. But then Christie stepped in.

Former colleagues of mine in state government, where I served as commissioner of environmental protection from 2002 to 2006, have told me that Mr. Christie’s chief counsel inserted himself into the case, elbowed aside the attorney general and career employees who had developed and prosecuted the litigation, and cut the deal favorable to Exxon.

The oil giant, one of the most profitable energy companies in the world, had already been found liable. The only question that remained was, how much would it have to pay?

Now we know, and the result is a disgrace.

So ExxonMobil got away with barely a scratch.

I don’t see how this is good government. A fully-funded $8.7 billion dollar tunnel project that returns many more billions back to the people of New Jersey is too expensive for the skinflint governor, or so he says, and he kills it. But an $8.9 billion dollar lawsuit that the state had already won is quick-settled for pennies on the dollar, without so much as a plausible reason, or public comment. All of this leaves New Jersey short…$8.7 billion dollars. Meanwhile, his vaunted transportation fund

The Tri-State Transportation Campaign, a nonprofit advocacy and transportation policy organization called the fund’s insolvency “a legitimate crisis” worsened by the fact that Christie’s 2016 budget calls for slashing transportation spending by 8.4 percent, or about $119 million less than the current fiscal year.

…is once again broke. Oh, if only the governor hadn’t butted into the courtroom. The settlement from the lawsuit could have bankrolled the entire trust fund for 6 years. Or it could have plugged the hole in New Jersey’s yearly budget – the Christie Crisis – for the next 11 years. Or it could have paid for that old tunnel project, ignoring the fact it had of course already been bought and paid for, until some politician scotched it then pocketed the government money.

So it turns out that Chris Christie is not really fiscally responsible. He is in fact shockingly reckless, self-serving and stupid. And while as governor he should be trying to better the lives of his own constituents, he’d just prefer to grease his own dick. He’s…well, a Republican. I’d certainly be interested to hear what the famous loudmouth has to say about all this, but I get the feeling he’s currently hiding somewhere.

Christie was scheduled to give the opening speech at the American Enterprise Institute’s World Forum at a luxury resort on Sea Island, according to Bloomberg News. Corporate documents show that ExxonMobil has been a major benefactor of AEI, a conservative think tank in Washington whose scholars have disputed the scientific consensus on climate change and touted ExxonMobil as a “taxation hero.”

Or hanging out with old friends…


Sound of heads exploding like the peal of Biblical thunder

It was only a matter of time.

This week, researchers at the University of Cambridge in Britain and the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel made the startling announcement that male same-sex couples may soon be able to have biological children of their own.

This is great.

Using these embryonic stem cells, the scientists were able to create primordial germ cells (PGCs), which can then go on to become eggs and sperm (because of the lack of the Y chromosome in females, the study limits this possibility to two males thus far). While the process has yet to create mature eggs and sperm, Dr. Joseph Hanna of the Weizmann institute says he is “optimistic,” and that same-sex biological parents could be a reality as soon as 2017.

I’m not currently in the mood to hear any arguments about the ethics of any such startling breakthrough. Right now I can’t get enough of the idea of Adam and Steve bringing home the first same-sex Homo sapiens. Hey look everybody it’s twin boys – congratulations! – appropriately named ‘Elton’ and ‘John.’ The conservative press and all the TV preachers of course go on bleating about walking abominations and the spit we lodged in Jesus’ eye, but Elton eventually grows up to be an All-Pro NFL linebacker. And John turns into a raging smash success Broadway choreographer, swishing across the Great White Way to a hail of wild acclaim, not to mention faaabulous flower bouquets, and the shameless chucking of G-strings. Please my Gay Allah, for once let me have my way…


Makin’ the scene at the asylum

I have no doubt that here in America there are many doctors and surgeons who have become rich and successful beyond their wildest desires, and they’re now as wingnutty as Nazi Gruppenführers. But so far there’s only one Ben Carson.

New Day host Chris Cuomo then segued into another issue snaking through the court system — same-sex marriage — and asked Carson whether he believed being gay was a choice.

“Absolutely,” Carson said. “Because a lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight — and when they come out, they’re gay. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question.”

Carson insults decent people here. But he thoroughly spits in the face of some Americans – usually young men – who you may not know much about, and who don’t very often vote.

But then David said something that struck John as strange. He asked him if he would ever get involved sexually with a man. John knew himself to be heterosexual; he had lost his virginity to a girl the year before. “I just kind of laughed it off,” he recalled.

And then it happened. One night after the last count before bed, John says, his cellmate suddenly attacked him, pulling down both of their pants and wrestling him onto the bottom bunk. John tried to resist, but he was less than 140 pounds, and next to David’s bulk of more than 200 he stood little chance as this powerful man forced his way in, slowly and painfully and in silence, without a condom or lubricant.

John was only 17 years old.

Then, one morning around 6 a.m., while out on the yard for recreation, John says he saw David receive a mesh laundry bag from a prisoner he didn’t know. He could see that it contained meat sticks and bags of chips. These kinds of exchanges were common; he figured the other prisoner might be trading the food for the use of his cell as a quiet place for tattooing or some other illicit activity…

That afternoon, John returned to his “house”… His cellmate was in bed. Feeling greasy after his kitchen shift, John started to undress so he could take a shower. As he took off his pants, he saw the mesh bag of food. He looked over and realized the man in the bed was not David. It was the prisoner who had handed over the bag of food.

Wielding an unchecked national evil to attack gay marriage, Carson is quite disgusting. Either that, or I’m ignoring the good that incarceration usually does for peoples’ sex lives. Maybe it’s time we applauded the way our corrections system allows young men to explore their sexuality. And if prison is what a defenseless teenager needs, then I’m all for it. Next up on Hot In America: Dr. Ben cites a few out-of-prison rape statistics and then wonders if the female libido has run amok. I can’t really say I’m all fired-up on the ‘morals’ end of Carson’s superstar campaign, though. As for that gotcha he delivered with, “So, did something happen while they were in there?”:

Although he is still attracted to women, John has a hard time imagining how he’ll form new romantic relationships. He still has flashbacks and nightmares—common symptoms of post-traumatic stress among rape victims, in prison or out—which are sometimes spurred by tiny details: the smell of saliva or shower mold, the feel of tiles like the ones his face was pressed into, a breeze that mimics the breath of an attacker on his neck.



The mystification of McArdle

…slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe – am I right?

Megan McArdle writes perhaps the most mind-numbing missive of her magnificent career. It’s about evolution, of course, because science and math are to Megan what hobnail boots are to dandelions.

I know what you are going to say: We need to know if he [Scott Walker] thinks scientifically or submits reason to theology! I don’t think this actually tells us any such thing.

The god-botherers think evolution is a game of cups and balls, but when they tell you as much it doesn’t really mean anything. Except, obviously it does. It says quite a bit, actually. But I sorta kinda think I know what you’re getting at…except for no, I have no idea. I do know that every concrete thing in Megan’s world is fraught with angles and shadows. Because…who knows?

I was at a dinner the other night where the very high percentage of Americans who believe in young-earth creationism was submitted as evidence of the failure of the U.S. school system. I don’t think that’s right.

Of course it’s right. Why would the religionists be so desperate to abolish evolution from schools otherwise? What would be the point of homeschooling? Megan’s schtick is nothing more than rank gainsaying. And much like your parakeet, if you put up a mirror beside her she’ll break it with her head.

People forget most of what they learn in school almost as soon as they learn it — I got an A in sophomore chemistry, and all I can tell you about it now is that it’s sometimes measured in “moles” and there’s something called a covalent bond that . . . well, actually, I forget.

Education, I mean. Totally useless, am I right? C’mon everybody forgets what they learned in high school ( ‘cept stupid me who remembers what moles and bonds were). I wouldn’t have thought “I’m stupid” to be a persuasive argument. But first, a clarification:

And before you start looking all superior, STEM majors, what is the difference between the conditional and the subjunctive, and can you name four causes of the Thirty Years’ War without resorting to Google?

I, Megan, do remember esoteric bullshit. So don’t fuck with me, plebes! The crossways attitude has got to be some sort of Libertarian thing. Your government schooling could never make me learn anything, but my glorious free will sure as heck did! Let’s fire all the teachers, promote the ditchdiggers and then have McMegan somehow sort it all out. Preferably by getting paid to lounge around the house and tell everybody how wicked stupid/smart she is.

Most of the people who “believe” in evolution don’t have much more scientific foundation for their beliefs than a young- earth creationist does for theirs.

Do most people know about dinosaur bones? Yes. Do young-earthers know about the ‘evidence’ for creationism? No. Because there’s none. What a classic McArglebargle, placing thoroughbreds and unicorns side-by-side. Who’ll win the Kentucky Derby this year? Scientists will pretend to know, but those bastards are always lying.

…I wish [reporters] would spend equal time asking Democrats questions that force them to choose between their base and independent voters, such as “Is it a good thing that technology and legal abortion now mean that 90 percent of Down syndrome pregnancies are terminated?”

I can’t even. There is something so whacko about this woman. Let’s go to the end:

All that said, these questions will get asked, and if Scott Walker wants to be president, then he needs to have better answers.

Wait – what? This whole screed argues to the contrary from the beginning. But now Megan has changed her mind? She’s completely of the opposite opinion now?

In a country in which these issues are hotly contested, many of these questions are perfectly fair subjects on which the public has the right to know your opinions.

Believe it. And I have a question of my own: What is wrroong with you? McMeg: It’s stupid for people to ask about evolution, because you can’t learn anything from that, and even if you could it’s useless, and school is useless too, and besides people don’t really know anything, although I’m obviously a genius, and I sure wish somebody would ask Democrats horrible questions because, in the end, that’s the way you learn about candidates – by what they say for an answer, because all of us are very smart and like to ask politicians about things. Right, has everybody got all that? Oh absolutely, quite. Any of you perhaps interested in a demonstration? Why of course…WHAT ABOUT EVOLUTION?

Unless McArdle has gone completely bonkers, this is really…something. As if we were watching the different lobes of her brain wrestle like pigeons over a chicken bone. Or like seeing the debut of some form of high falutin’ digital auto-eroticism, to which I say ‘yuck.’