Dodgers do it again (lose)

I grew up here in L.A. and I love this town. But this Dodger team is killing me.

Since they won the World Series in 1988, they’ve been to the postseason 10 times. They’re 4 and 10 in playoff series. They’re 18 and 32 in playoff games. They’re 6 and 16 in National League Championship Series games in just the last 9 seasons. That’s .270 for the stat guys.

And they haven’t once been to the World Series. 50 playoff games, zero World Series appearances. We haven’t so much as won a 3rd game in the NLCS in 28 years. I’m thinking this is some sort of historic lameness, but I’m too pissed off to look it up. GAH.

We have no one to blame but ourselves. Closer Kenley Jansen has a regular season ERA of around 2.20, but he was 4.20 this year in the postseason. Joe Blanton was at 2.59 for the season, but then he hit the playoffs: 21.00. Clayton Kershaw won his 3rd Cy Young two years ago with an earned run average of 1.77(!). But his lifetime playoff ERA is 4.95. Over and over, when the Dodgers go to the playoffs they turn into pumpkins. That’s the story. October shows up, and they stink.

ADD: Oh yeah. Congratulations to the Cubs (grumble).

MORE: It’s a record. The Braves and the A’s have 9 postseasons in a row without a World Series appearance, but the Dodgers have 10. Hooray, we win.


That didn’t go well for Donnie, did it?

By all accounts Donald Trump needed a grand slam home run, or a triple word score, or a shark with a friggin’ laser mounted on his head to eat Hillary at last night’s debate for him to have any shot at winning the election.

Well how did he do? Let’s ask that bastion of hippy hacky-sackery, the National Review.

…and then Trump decided to go ahead and dominate the next two news cycles with a colossal unforced error. The very instant that Chris Wallace explained to Trump that both his running mate and his daughter had said they’d accept the results of the election, I knew that Trump was going to dive into the deep end… Trump is losing, badly, and if he hoped to reach beyond his Breitbart base and nose-holding Republican loyalists, that’s not the way you do it.

Bad move, hombre. It’s been an ugly campaign, one everyone is tired of. And by essentially promising to reject the November 8th vote, he’s making it an ugly election too. Trump probably didn’t win any fans, at least not any new ones.

But then, what do I know? Let’s take a quick look at the online polls. How did Trump do “beyond his Breitbart base”?

Badly. Every major media outlet that has an online poll shows viewers thought Trump lost the debate. But it looks even worse when you see what Republicans thought.

Here’s an online poll in a Fox outlet in Missouri:


Trump is getting killed. But wait – though the TV station may be in Red Missouri, it’s also in St. Louis. There are actual black people there, so no fair. How about Oklahoma?


He’s getting beat in The Oklahoman? In a state where Obama couldn’t win a single county back in 2008? Yes, even there.

But it gets worse, or better. How about his literal “Breitbart base”? The darling savages over at, what did they think? Don’t tell me…


He lost the Breitbart poll. These folks are literally running his campaign, remember. Good job guys.


TV skit comedy, the degenerate art

Things are getting weird. Even weirder.

For Hitler (who considered himself an artist), the avant-gardes were nothing more than “a Jewish-Bolshevik cultural hoax.” He defined the principles of “German art” as exaltation of a superior race, military might, physical health.

Sorry, but that just hits me like a load of bricks. Trump has been ranting about the cultural elites for weeks now. Throw in the slagging of all his GOP rivals as duds, losers and low energy and the likeness becomes uncomfortable. Then there’s that doctor’s exam, of course:

“Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.”


Hitler’s mandates favored primitivism and the representation of an age of innocence that refused modern society. Painters who didn’t follow these dictates were singled out, their artwork exiled from museums and sometimes even burned.

“It is not the mission of art,” the Führer told a crowd in September 1935, “to wallow in filth for filth’s sake, to paint the human being only in a state of putrefaction, to draw cretins as symbols of motherhood, or to present deformed idiots as representatives of manly strength.”

Remember him calling Cpn. Khan’s mom a deaf mute, or something?


4:14 in the morning, he’s not going to let Lorne Michaelstein take him down. Is there anything weirder than being caught in a déjà vu? Is there anything more unsettling than knowing what’s coming next?


Here is your Hillary Clinton snorts her cocaine from the asscracks of male strippers HOT TAKE

Donald Trump. Who is not remotely a clinical narcissist about to lose a nasty election as publicly and spectacularly as anyone in American political history has, and is, therefore, predictably having a hideous whirlwind crack-up:

Yes Mistew Sniffles. You hab been a good widdew kitty so we’re going to drug test the sane candidate. You go to your bed now scamp, nighty ‘night.

…(sshhh) this has been Saturday Night with a HOT TAKE…


Donald Trump, sex criminal, blames the media and Media Man applauds him

I see Joe Concha at The Hill has a Hot Take on Donald Trump. Apparently there’s more to this unconventional candidate than you thought. It’s a shame you don’t pay closer attention to him, the way Joe does. But then you’re probably not a big media expert.

From a Trump rally in West Palm Beach, Fla., on Thursday:

“They [the media] are political special interest no different than any lobbyist or other financial entity with a total political agenda — and the agenda is not for you, it’s for themselves. Their agenda is to elect crooked Hillary Clinton at any cost, at any price, no matter how many lives they destroy. For them, it’s a war, and for them, nothing at all is out of bounds. This is a struggle for the survival of our nation. Believe me.”

Trump has a point there [literally: “Trump has a point with media criticism.”]. He does? Yes, he does, because apparently Concha isn’t typically bothered when a presidential candidate forces his hand up a random woman’s skirt and grabs her pussy. That sort of thing isn’t particularly relevant, or interesting. It’s nothing, or not much, more than when Clinton aides e-mail back and forth over evangelicals and Catholicism. Joe agrees with the GOP candidate and believes the real problem here is the media. And before you go ‘Huh?’, he’s got the data to back it up:

In viewing recordings by The Hill of each major network’s evening newscasts, which are watched by an average total of 22 million to 24 million people nightly, the newest batch of WikiLeaks revelations was covered for a combined 57 seconds out of 66 minutes of total air time on ABC, NBC and CBS.

Those leaked emails include derogatory comments about Catholics by senior Clinton campaign officials and more disturbing examples of collusion between the media and her campaign It’s newsworthy stuff) —

On the other hand, allegations from four women of unwanted sexual advances by Trump were covered a combined 23 minutes.

Add it all up, and one presidential candidate’s negative news of the day was somehow covered more than 23 times more than another candidate’s negative news of the day.

Can you believe it? Trump, it turns out, is actually right. There are two juicy presidential candidate scandals competing for the nation’s attention here, but for some reason only one of them is getting any play. Trump’s little imbroglio is “somehow” receiving 23 times the coverage of the other. Obviously, this is the REAL scandal. Goodness, cancel CNN’s kangaroo court, and strike the MSNBC gallows. Also reserve a spot in the newsman Hall of Fame for Joe, everybody, or at least some space in the Murrow crypt.

Well, I don’t happen to agree. Call me partisan, or jaded, or just dumb – take your pick – but I have to say I was thoroughly disappointed with Joe, and his big media expose’. First, there’s this:

“Their agenda is to elect crooked Hillary Clinton at any cost, at any price, no matter how many lives they destroy. For them, it’s a war, and for them, nothing at all is out of bounds. This is a struggle for the survival of our nation. Believe me.”

One presidential candidate just accused CBS and the like of participating in a conspiracy so dangerous it has destroyed lives, and will destroy the country completely. Donald Trump declared categorically that unless he’s the next president, the United States of America will cease to exist. You want a big scoop? A helluva story? There it is. Joe might want to do a little investigative journalism and see if that’s at all true. If it isn’t, Joe might follow up with a better-founded story focusing on how one of the candidates is a paranoid lunatic, or profoundly mentally ill.

Second, one of the candidates has been accused of serious wrongdoing [Trump]. One of them may be guilty of criminal sexual conduct in at least 10 cases, going back 30 years. One of them, realistically, probably assaulted a number of women in horrendous fashion. The other candidate may have had campaign staffers who e-mailed about how fundamentalists feel about other religions. Hillary Clinton likely hired people who offered their opinions about which sects evangelicals might favor. But let’s be forthright and fair to Journo Joe – these are both, absolutely, in fact, stories. They are also both, perhaps, newsworthy. The matter of whether one is obviously more newsworthy than the other is…not newsworthy? Silly me, I believe it is.

Third, from Joe:

Reaction to Trump’s critique of the media by many left-leaning media members and advocates was about what one would expect, referring to it as dangerous and dark and totalitarian and conspiratorial and just about every other word from the 2016 Hyperbole Style Guide. Those conclusions, of course, are just air without any real foundation in terms of numbers or data to support it.

Speaking of data, try this on for size…

And then Joe takes in the news, with one eye on his wristwatch, and exposes the mainstream media’s partisan ways. He shines a light on “dangerous and dark and totalitarian and conspiratorial” TV newshack hyperbole. Then he proclaims…I Am a Journalist. Concha has just exposed his fellow media members, and shown us that the nasty things being said about Donald Trump are “…just air without any real foundation in terms of numbers or data to support it.”

You don’t say, Joe. Ah but you did. Here, just this morning, were Matt Viser and Tracy Jan in the Boston Globe:

Trump’s campaign has taken a sharp turn toward such dark warnings in recent days. He says he is a victim of conspiracies, portrays himself as a martyr to the cause of the right wing, and is stoking anger in advance of what may be a defeat on Nov. 8.

My balls, right Joe? That’s just something these two hacks pulled out of their “2016 Hyperbole Style Guide.”

…some are even openly talking about violent rebellion and assassination, as fantastical and unhinged as that may seem.

“If she’s in office, I hope we can start a coup. She should be in prison or shot. That’s how I feel about it,” Dan Bowman, a 50-year-old contractor, said of Hillary Clinton, the Democratic nominee. “We’re going to have a revolution and take them out of office if that’s what it takes. There’s going to be a lot of bloodshed. But that’s what it’s going to take. . . . I would do whatever I can for my country.”

He then placed a Trump mask on his face and posed for pictures.

J-man? Well, but that’s just one person. Right. That’s not like a whole bunch of ‘data’. That’s nothing like our hero sitting on his couch and watching ABC News, peeking at the stopwatch on his iPhone.

“This is my prediction: Trump is going to win the popular vote by a landslide, and the Electoral College will elect Hillary, because of all the corruption,” he said. “Maybe it’ll all work and restore my faith in humanity. But I doubt it”…

“We’re going to have a lot of election fraud,” said Jeannine Bell Smith, 65-year-old longtime teacher in a red Trump shirt with a bucket of popcorn under her arm. “They are having illegals vote. In some states, you don’t need voter registration to vote.”

After a prayer is said and the national anthem sung, she leans in.

“We can’t have that lying bitch in the White House,” she said.

Oh boy, okay. That’s more than one person, that’s a couple. But that’s not as bad as the media! Those people are dangerous! They keep bringing up Donald’s faults as if he were a bad person!

“Trump said to watch your precincts. I’m going to go, for sure,” said Steve Webb, a 61-year-old carpenter from Fairfield, Ohio.

“I’ll look for . . . well, it’s called racial profiling. Mexicans. Syrians. People who can’t speak American,” he said. “I’m going to go right up behind them. I’ll do everything legally. I want to see if they are accountable. I’m not going to do anything illegal. I’m going to make them a little bit nervous.”

Some Trump supporters say that if he doesn’t win, they figure the United States government will be no better than dictatorships where elections cannot be trusted.

“We’re heading toward North Korea, without a doubt,” said Grant Reed, a Trump supporter wearing a shirt that said, “If you’re offended, I’ll help you pack.”

Joe Cecil, a 39-year-old restaurant manager, said he has never voted before but is newly inspired by Trump.

“If people are offended by the sexual stuff, what do they think is going to happen when Muslims come here, implement Sharia law, and start raping our women?” he asks.

How about that, media expert? Any questions? Or comments?

“I’ve heard people talk about a revolution. I’ve heard people talk about separation of states. I don’t even like to think about it. But I don’t think this movement is going away. We don’t have a voice anymore, and Donald Trump is giving us a voice.”

C’mon, man. To say, or to assume, that the two candidates are somehow the same is ridiculous. Such a thing would require a sane person – or a journalist – to be willfully fucked.

Donald is likely guilty of sexual assault, and here we are. He’s certainly guilty of inciting increasingly violent panic and paranoia in his followers, which won’t stop soon. That’s all newsworthy, very newsworthy, for many reasons (I can’t believe I have to type this). And if you’d like to perhaps hold a mirror up to the hacks in the media, Joe, there’s always the men’s room.


Here’s your Saturday Evening Donald Trump is getting screwed because The Messicans HOT TAKE

Bless ole’ Ann Coulter. If she did not exist we would have to invent, then bust out laughing at, her.

Ssssizzling. Much-The-Same Ann ‘pro-Pussy Grabber’ Coulter: “This is an attempt to let millions of Messicans squat in my chifferobe because John McCuck won’t vote #NouveauKlan.”

Loosers! This has been…Saturday Evening with a HOT TAKE.


Admit it: Trump could have raped Nancy O’Dell

Saturday morning, yawn. My place is a shithole.

“You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful. I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait…”

“And when you’re a star they let you do it,” Trump continues. “You can do anything … Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”

I really need to clean up this mess.

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (Utah) was the first GOP member of Congress to peel off Friday night, declaring on a local TV station, “I’m out.” He said he didn’t know who he was going to vote for now, but it wouldn’t be Trump or Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.

This is why I hate the weekend.

The floodgates were open by Saturday morning. Here’s a running list of the GOP members of Congress, senators and governors rescinding their endorsements for Trump or calling on him to step down, one month before the election, after seeing the video.

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (Utah)

Rep. Martha Roby (Ala.)

Rep. Chris Stewart (Utah)

Rep. Bradley Byrne (Ala.)

Rep. Joe Heck (Nev.)

Rep. Cresent Hardy (Nev.)

Rep. Scott Garrett (N.J.)

Rep. Ann Wagner (Mo.)

Rep. Rodney Davis (Mo.)

Sen. Kelly Ayotte (N.H.)

Sen. Mike Crapo (Idaho)

Sen. John Thune (S.D.)

Sen. Shelley Moore Capito (W.Va.)

Sen. Dan Sullivan (Alaska)

Gov. Gary Herbert (Utah)

Gov. Dennis Dauggard (S.D.)

Sure, whatever.

This is nothing. It’s not like he said he’d raise income taxes on the rich. You can’t sway Republicans with moral shock because they don’t have any morals. They’re half-formed beings. Gob-smacked little toadies, cowering and confused. Douchebags. Nice try, Politics, but all of these people who today are so outraged will be pulling the Trump lever next month as if their bank accounts depended upon it.

You doubt me? You fools, I’ve been writing about this forever.

Just look at the base. How do they feel?

“People of faith are voting on issues like who will protect unborn life, defund Planned Parenthood, defend religious liberty and oppose the Iran nuclear deal,” said Ralph Reed, who heads the Faith & Freedom Coalition. “A ten-year-old tape of a private conversation with a talk show host ranks low on their hierarchy of concerns.”

Robert Jeffress, the pastor of First Baptist Church in Dallas and a member of Trump’s Evangelical Executive Advisory Board, said … he’s still voting Trump…

“I said at that time, with Trump sitting next to me, I would not necessarily choose this man to be my child’s Sunday School teacher,” Jeffress said. “But that’s not what this election is about.”…

And David Bozell, a Roman Catholic who heads the conservative group ForAmerica and supports Trump, said the audio won’t change how conservative voters view the candidate…

The conservatives who should be most concerned with a candidate’s character aren’t even blinking. Because morality has never mattered to them. These are the people who abuse their wives, get their fellatio on the down low, cheer our every war and think the death penalty is a bedrock moral principle. Right and wrong are not priorities for them as they are for you, or me. ‘Ethics’ is a card game to be played in order to pocket ever-bigger stakes. And, outside of war, which all god-fearing Americans love even beyond football, a presidential election wages the greatest stakes of all.

So don’t bother kidding yourselves, absolutely nothing has changed. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the country’s congressional leaders.

Mitch McConnell.

“As the father of three daughters, I strongly believe that Trump needs to apologize directly to women and girls everywhere, and take full responsibility for the utter lack of respect for women shown in his comments on that tape.”

Good thing ole’ Mitch has some daughters. Otherwise we’d be seeing him fist-pumping on Facesnap or woo! lighting his farts in the Senate chambers. The Speaker of the House:

“I am sickened by what I heard today. Women are to be championed and revered, not objectified. I hope Mr. Trump treats this situation with the seriousness it deserves and works to demonstrate to the country that he has greater respect for women than this clip suggests.”

Paul’s tummy, it hurts. OWWW. Please, Mr. Next President, could you not keep doing whatever it is you just did? Those things that are making everybody else so angry? Because water is wet, and the dirt is dark, and your ballsack is kinda heavy? Whew THANKS pal, because after all, Paul has a life of his own you know. He’d love to get back to cleaning his shithole apartment, gah.


Twinks For Trump, from the Fabulist School

Here’s a thing I came across on Memeorandum.


Ugh, It’s Jim Hoft. But I do like the idea of the art world having never seen a Frederic Remington.

At least 6 Conservative artists were preparing for Saturday’s historic opening. But Brooklyn gallery cancels after online threats and harassment by gay fascist mob.

Artist Lucian Wintrich says the artists are now scrambling to find another gallery for Saturday’s show.

Don’t feel too bad for Lucian. He’s a preppy East Coast ultra-WASP brimming with self confidence, as to be creepy (…cross a gay Ben Shapiro with Harry Potter – then see this. [warning: everything]). But instead of selling you worthless bonds, or country club memberships, as his people have done for generations, Lucian would rather sell you his photographs.

Because he’s apparently the first conservative artist in the world, or something. And his latest, ergo inital, collection for you to ooh and aah over he’s calling “Twinks For Trump.” If that’s a bit much for you to try and picture in your head, imagine this: Photographs of some barely clad hairless young men. Alright fine, but then what about the ‘Trump’ part? Are these men perhaps hanging on the elbows of portly billionaires exiting Park Avenue limousines? Not exactly. Instead, every Lucian hot twink is wearing a Make America Great Again hat too big for his head (…see here [warning: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]).

Now before you say, “Give me a break. He just pulled those out of his spank pile.” Oh NO. This young artist is better than that – he is the real thing. Not because his photos are more than a curiosity on the aesthetic spectrum, but because – remember? – the Gotham queers. Lucian is a bona fide victim of today’s politics no systematic oppression oh yes that’s it Auschwitz. Tell us, oh young Wintrich Joselewicz:

First they removed my family from positions of power. My relatives in Poland included doctors, lawyers, and leaders of Polish society. Then they removed us from our homes and our contracts. Then they started killing us.

Lucian is related to Holocaust survivors. Which makes a Wintrich photograph, in terms of Conservative Art, a back-lit Kincade.

My grandfather would not believe what is happening in America today. It is fascism and it is all coming from the left. This is how people like Hitler took power. They believe it is alright to silence people. If they keep doing things like this we know what comes next.

Oh yes. We certainly do.

** Please let’s make sure this show happens – Please donate here…

Of course. And in case you’re not all that interested in softcore porn, rest assured there will be other Picas-so-sads at the big show as well.

Contributing Artists:

Milo Yiannopoulos, Gavin McInnes, and Martin Shkreli among participating artists in first ever pro-Trump gallery exhibition.

The opening for #DaddyWillSaveUs will be held at 191 North, 14th Street, Brooklyn, New York October 8th starting at 8pm ET.

See you Saturday night.


After worst week in GOP candidate history, Trump begins Monday by suggesting vets with PTSD are weak

He. Just. Can’t. Stop.

Donald Trump on Monday suggested to a room full of veterans that soldiers who return from war suffering from PTSD are not “strong” and “can’t handle it.”

The GOP presidential candidate’s statement came during a Q&A at the Retired American Warriors Pac.

Because Donald feels the need to go out of his draft-dodging way to praise American veterans as tremendous and yuuuge, he screwed up. Again. By casually remarking that the RAW Pac members assembled around him were surely all rugged and tough and not-mentally ill, Trump ended up slagging a huge number of veterans who are currently struggling with a horrific disorder – a nightmare many of them can only get relief from by killing themselves.

Some of the questions were about the suicide epidemic in the military and criticism of the Veterans Administration (VA) for falling short on providing veterans with the mental health treatment they need…

“When people come back from war and combat and they see maybe what the people in this room have seen many times over, and you’re strong and you can handle it, but a lot of people can’t handle it,” Trump said.

There was a silence in the room after his statement, and people on social media were quick to express anger toward his comments.

Good job, Donnie.

Remember, sports fans. There are only five weeks left for Trump to insult the last of his forty million supporters…


Trump’s taxes mean nothing, you people shut up

It’s not like losing $915,729,213 in a single year is a big deal. I mean if you think that losing $915,729,213 in only twelve months tells you something about a businessman’s capability, or acumen, or sanity, you’re just wrong. If you think that it’s a big deal well, mister, you don’t understand business. That says a lot more about you than about Him, pal. You don’t know anything about multi-tentacled epi-tranches, or holdover chits, or market quasi-nobbery, or our tax system. Speaking of which, it’s far too refractory a centralized asymmetry for you to see any paperwork from, OK? You shush. Let’s just be honest here: You’ll never know what it’s like. To be Rich. To be Great. To be…Thee. Man.

You should vote for him (…like us on Facebook!).

CLINTON: For 40 years, everyone running for president has released their tax returns. You can go and see nearly, I think, 39, 40 years of our tax returns, but everyone has done it.

…maybe he doesn’t want the American people, all of you watching tonight, to know that he’s paid nothing in federal taxes, because the only years that anybody’s ever seen were a couple of years when he had to turn them over to state authorities when he was trying to get a casino license, and they showed he didn’t pay any federal income tax.

TRUMP: That makes me smart.

Oh please. More than that…

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS (HOST): So what’s your response to this story?

RUDY GIULIANI: My response is, he’s genius. I mean the reality is —


GIULIANI: Absolute genius. The man, in The Art of the Deal this is described, first of all we are talking about 26 years ago, perfectly legal. We should get that straight immediately. It’s a perfectly legal application of the tax code and he would have been a fool not to take advantage of it.

If he’d paid a penny in income taxes he’d have been a fool. A pigeon. A chump. Donald Trump would have been thoroughly completely unqualified to be president. If he’d paid anything to the government he probably would have been breaking the law, okay? YOU GET ME? Nobody wants that. Nobody wants a tax-paying scofflaw for president, right?

ADD: …divided by nincompoop…carry the shambles…my armchair math says ole’ Mammon Mega-Mensa was pissing away over 2.5 million dollars every day, 7 days a week. Which is a lot more money than I’ll earn in my entire life, but of course I’m a loser.


Donald Trump calls reporter a “c*nt”, of course

We were just waiting for a story like this to come out. Weren’t we?

In the article, I wrote that Trump could not be reached for comment, but a spokesman said the man’s comments were “categorically untrue.”

The story ran below the fold in the business news section with the headline: How a Curious Visitor Beat Trump at the Casino Game [ed: see here].

And now I was holding for Mr. Trump.

Tell me if you think this account sounds likely.

There was no hello. But there was yelling, lots of yelling.

The word “shit” was used repeatedly as a noun and adjective.

I had shit for brains.

I worked for a shitty newspaper.

What sort of shit did I write.

Before I could reply, he hung up.

Does that sound like Trump to you? Yeah, me too.

Then he called my editor in Philadelphia, Craig Stock. Now it was Craig’s turn to “Hold for Mr. Trump.”

Craig was treated to the same Trumpian wordplay, but got an added treat. Trump referred to me as “that cunt.”

Yup. That sounds a lot like him.

Craig, a calm Iowan, asked Trump what was wrong with the story. He explained that The Inquirer would run a correction if the paper had made an error.

Trump snapped that he didn’t read the story.

“No one reads the story,” the 41-year-old blustered. “I read the headline and I didn’t like it.”

That sounds exactly like him.


Clean-up on aisle Giuliani

It seems like only 3 weeks ago your blogging pal noticed that Hizzoner Noun Verb Nine-Eleven had gone completely nerfdoodle bonkers.

Now we only need to call him a padded wagon. Because somebody needs to get Rudy Giuliani a comfy ride to the sanitarium, he has completely lost it…

Well, readers. I regret to inform you that as of yet no one who cares about him – or who cares about listening to a septuagenarian troll skreeing about the Mexicans and Hitlery Clinton, who gesticulates like Kali swatting at horse flies while crazy-rudyhis terrifying eyes begin bugging out of his head like greasy Titleists – has seen fit to take pity on the sorry asshole and dollied him off to a sanitarium.

Which would be merciful, to say the least. And would, in addition, have the tangential benefit of preventing more ugly incidents…like this one:

“At CFA’s 40 Under 40 Awards last Thursday night, keynote speaker Rudolph Giuliani veered sharply off course from the leadership message he agreed to deliver and presented unscripted personal opinions which were independent of CFA’s political position or core values,” Bob Trojan, the group’s CEO, wrote in an email sent to attendees and forwarded to the Observer…

The note continued: “For those of you who were offended by Mr. Giuliani’s remarks, please accept my sincere apology.”

As you may have guessed, the middle baritone for the Old Grey Mare Singers went full-blown Clinton Apocalypse Hnngh! on the Commercial Finance Association and left the assembled onlookers…stunned.

…an attendee told the Observer the crowd was “shocked” by Giuliani’s comments and that some people began complaining about his speech almost immediately after it was over.

“Rudy talked about immigration and made a really, really inappropriate comment about the quote-unquote Mexicans in the kitchen at the Waldorf,” the attendee said. “It was bad. You could hear a pin drop. I think he was looking for applause.”

A second person in attendance also recalled a remark about Mexicans coming to the country to work illegally in kitchens.

The guest speaker was so offensive that the superboring CFA were reduced to rendering a version of the inclusivity kumbaya with their keyboards.

“CFA abhors discrimination of any kind whether it is focused on race, age or gender. We are a nonpartisan organization with relationships spanning both sides of the aisle, which is vital to ensure that our positions are understood no matter which party is in office. These beliefs and approaches will never change,” the email reads.

As for America’s Schizoid Disorder, some folks have begun to notice.

The apology for Giuliani’s speech was sent Monday, just a day before the Commercial Observer reported that Giuliani had been axed as the keynote speaker for a conference held by the International Council of Shopping Centers—following letters from real estate professionals who deemed him divisive for his outspoken support of Trump.

Also this week, you may have seen Rudy attacking Hillary Clinton with the Limp Bizkit-era insults “Monica” and “Lewinsky,” then concluding she’s “too stupid to be president.” You may have also seen Rudy advising Donald Trump to avoid debating her again, because illuminatus Bilderberg Lester Holt. Which, for whatever reason, is a sane idea.