The Magic of Trump, or the Menace, by which I mean YOU

Trump’s convention speech was remarkable in a number of ways. Mostly it was notable for its seething paranoia, but then that was to be expected. It was the campaign’s strategy to go Judge Dredd. If a few Muslims want to wipe us off the planet then it’s high time for a megalomaniac with a horse whip to step forward and save America. Baa baa, here comes the Law and Order Candidate.

That was only the new stuff, there was plenty of old Trump left to moulder on the stage. There was Crooked Hillary once again. And there was Hey are these police officers great or what? And as always there was I am very smart. Very, smart.

Nothing however was more tired than Trump again affirming he will starch and iron every American wrinkle without mentioning how he will do it. One more time, he was all-encompassing and amounted to nothing. Right down to the barrel bottom. Totally and completely bankrupt.

But let’s be fair to him, this is the con. This is his great achievement. He’s just so awesome that he’s not going to bother with little details the way other losers do. Everybody else is dumb, and incompetent, both left and right, and do you really want any more of that? Of course not. So listen to The Donald: He can solve it all, everything. He can crack a safe, no problem. He can do a back flip – what are you kidding? He can end terrorism in America, all of it and soon. C’mon, now isn’t that better? Wouldn’t you rather have somebody tell you what all the problems are AND promise to fix them? Buh-bye everyone, thanks, love you all.

And therein lies Donald’s triumph: selling dickhead as if it were a strength. He’s so self-wanking that he must somehow be kinda good, know what I mean? Get it? And if you must know – funny you asked this – yes I do all of the great things, it’s true. Really, just go ask anybody. I’m going to be the best president, I mean believe me, you won’t believe it.

White America is really lapping this up. Trump is absolutely killing them. The rubes have seen too many Stallone films, where the five-foot-eight inch hero throws a hook short of Apollo’s face and the brute still goes down. Apparently they still want to believe that shit, Sly’s white-guy Kabuki even now leaving its mark. But Donald’s campaign has pulled back the bandages on an even bigger wound of theirs: America is fuck-all stupid.

For any politician to promise that he will govern by the magical Third Way? As regards to everything? It is painfully comical, as to be devastating. Still the faithful don’t see any reason to doubt Donald Trump will eclipse all who have come before him, over these 228 years. He’s the one who will – finally – solve all America’s problems, sure. But what do you mean, HOW? And what do you mean, WHY? YOU’RE the people who have been in charge all this time. We’re not the ones who are stupid, YOU’RE the real stupids, stupid. Donald’s voters are having a moment.

Trump’s insurgent campaign rests on this, the accusation that all of the elites – the senators, and the congress, and their staffs, and all of the U.S. Presidents, Republicans and Democrats, all of them, ever – have been dumb. The evident solutions to chronic problems like crime, and unemployment, and terrorism, and a struggling economy, have always been within their reach. They were just too stupid to do any better. Nothing is ever really impossible, yet nothing has ever really been done! Sad! But it’s true, or so Trump says. Now here he is, with The Way. Here comes a man with a method salutary and sanctified.

But does anybody know what it is? Don’t ask. Don’t make that mistake. Don’t bother. Donald has no idea. The Third Way is pretty much Joseph Smith’s golden plates, something only seen by him. If it even exists it’s probably too ponderous for anybody else.

This much is clear: it does not exist outside a certain group of people. Nor has it ever revealed itself beyond a certain man’s associates, strangely. The Third Way only manifests itself after some bunch of anonymous people are hired by Donald Trump. And when they sit before him, and they are asked about things by him, and they offer their current thoughts to him, that’s when the oracle speaks. That’s when the miracle occurs. Somewhere between Him and His People is the place where The Answers take form. Hallelujah.

This is the pith of Trump’s con. It’s his entire campaign: First there is Me. Then there are My People. And…poof.

This means that, for Trump to be anything less than a joke, or, shortly, a national catastrophe, there would necessarily have to be a substantial number of remarkable people living their lives in America outside power or authority – because nobody has bothered to listen to them yet, right? – that he’ll have to recruit to conjure his Third Way. But who would this be? And who outside power or authority has ever been visible to him? He’s never cared, and why should he? Mother Mary herself could descend upon Donald in a kaleidoscope of flame and he wouldn’t piss on her. Until the Blessed Virgin reaches out and smites him with an Adare Manor gargoyle he won’t bother.

Candidate Trump is nothing more than a man sitting before a crystal ball promising to summon formidable forces from the deep – only, mind you, if you’re willing to give him what he wants. Other candidates might make a big deal about demonstrating their worthiness, but he’s not so stupid, he isn’t about to do anything so fantastic or eye-popping right now. What, are you kidding me? He’ll start the gypsy hand-waving and incantations after you make him president, of course. That you can bet on. C’mon, would he lie to you?

Yeah don’t kid yourself. It’s not like the country never noticed this guy before. Donald has forever been a tabloid twit, a late show punchline. He’s a nasty and noxious personality who believes women are his keepsakes and dollars his dick. He’ll never be anything more than a figment of his own imagination…until you decide to go and vote for him. Then President Obama will have to open the White House door, hand him the keys and the missile launch codes, and he’ll become a real nightmare.

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Bullied by a bully

It was strange seeing Governor Chris Christie spending all his free time waiting on a New York billionaire. He made his reputation as a New Jersey homeboy, proud son of the lesser state, a trash talking lawyer with a nasty streak and a chip on his shoulder. He didn’t take any shit but he sure as hell dealt it, and he wasn’t about to answer any of your stupid questions okay? The act played well on the national stage. People were at long last interested in Jersey politics.

So why he would go and do this? Play footman to a Big Apple phony? Was he really so miserable? Was he really so spineless? We may never know.

While minding my own business at the Starbucks inside the Westin hotel this morning, I saw a man engage Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort in conversation about the VP selection process. The man, whom I couldn’t identify, suggested that Pence was a smart pick and Gingrich would’ve been a disaster.

“Christie was livid, right?” the man said at one point. “Yeah,” Manafort replied.

He’s completely radioactive in New Jersey. He’s a cartoon character outside of it. Latching on to an outsider presidential ticket was the only thing he had left in the world.

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Welcome VP candidate Mike Pence, tobacco troofer

Donald Trump had to pick somebody to ride around on the backend of his politics baloney pony. And I don’t see any reason why it shouldn’t be much-despised dunderhead and former Indiana governor Mike Pence.

He has the brains of a goat, swallows every conspiratorial tin can the fringe tosses his way, and vomits up the remains as proof of his own cloven-hoof bona fides.

Time for a quick reality check. Despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn’t kill. In fact, 2 out of every three smokers does not die from a smoking related illness and 9 out of ten smokers do not contract lung cancer.

Only 1 out of 3 smokers dies of a tobacco-related disease you science nerds. Smoking doesn’t kill. Statistics in addition show waaay less than 1/3 of the soldiers who went to Iraq ended up buried there. The whole excursion might as well have been a Viking River Cruise. Why does Mike Pence have to explain everything to you?

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Really, Roger Ailes? Why, I mean, that is so weird.

Race-baiting Nixon crony and Fox News evil genius Roger Ailes apparently thinks women were put on His Earth to fellate Him unto corner-office boardroom eternity.

…Carlson alleged that Ailes began “ostracizing, marginalizing, and shunning” her when she refused to have a sexual relationship with him and complained of her treatment by Ailes…

When Carlson met with Ailes to discuss the discriminatory treatment to which she was being subjected, Ailes allegedly stated, “I think you and I should have had a sexual relationship a long time ago and then you’d be good and better and I’d be good and better,” according to the complaint, adding that “sometimes problems are easier to solve” that way.

Unfortunately the former Miss America wasn’t interested in “solving” Ailes’ 76 year-old junk. So she filed a lawsuit Wednesday, about a fraction of a second after she got fired. I’ve heard of bad liars before, but lickety-split ones? New to me.

It seems that Murdoch’s Göring has been forcing his bloat-mealy self on women waaay out of his league for decades. Lord knows how many of these poor creatures have given The Blob his workplace-orgasms over the last half century. Frankly, one prefers to remain free from wondering about such things lest the shock to his fight-or-flight cortex begin The Eternal Vomiting.

I was 16 years old living in Radnor, Pennsylvania. I was sent over for a walk-on part on The Mike Douglas Show in the winter of 1967. It was 6:30 in the evening and the place was totally closing up. Ailes took me into this big office and locked the door with a key. He reclined on a couch in a seating area under a map that had flags of all the cities they were syndicated in. He proceeded to pull down his pants and very gingerly pull out his genitals and said, “Kiss them.” And they were red like raw hamburger.

Now THERE’s a picture for you. Good night y’all, god bless, you go and have yourselves a lovely Saturday evening…

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Completely nuts as usual

Conservatism is a panicky mindset that prevents the sufferer from discerning reality in any meaningful way. OR, maybe, conservatism is a reality-challenged mindset that prevents the sufferer from mitigating panic in any meaningful way. One way or the other, science bears out the connection between right-wingers and fear obsessions, though no one yet knows how they’re connected.

That’s a heads-up for you, before I post the reactions of Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick to the shootings in Dallas. Because if there is anyone to be pitied, beyond Philando Castile, Alton Sterling, and the 5 blameless policemen executed last night, it is this pathetic beast.

He blamed Black Lives Matter protesters for the violence against police and said people “with big mouths are creating situations like we saw last night.”

“We have to have their back,” Patrick said of police. “And I’m sick and tired of those who are protesting our police and putting their lives in danger.”

You protestors and your big mouths. Why are you all so negative? Why are you so one-sided? Why can’t you mention how great these cops are once in awhile? You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, you know.

“All those protesters last night, they turned around and ran the other way expecting the men and women in blue to protect them. What hypocrites!” an audibly emotional Patrick said.

An armed lunatic starts gunning people down and what do you whiners do? Run the hell away. What’s that? You don’t have a badge? Or a gun? You can still run toward the shooter. You can run right out in front of the cops and start waving your arms. Ever consider that? You won’t survive, but it’s better than people only thinking you’re some sort of cynical protestor.

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All of the really good Nazi. Just the best Nazi.

Hillary Clinton, the money-grubbing New York Jewess…

hillary the jew

…was attacked on Twitter this morning by member in good standing of the master race Donald Trump. Hell these tactics worked once before, why not try ’em again?

nazi propaganda

Take zat you fill-see Democrat. And your Mexicans. And your Muslims. Pocahontas wooh-wooh-wooo! UNTERVOLK…sad.

At some point this schweinhund bullshit will wear thin and Trump will have no choice but to start pulling the heads off of puppies with his razor-encrusted hands. Republicans being the moral monsters they are, Donald will otherwise stand a pretty good chance of becoming the next president. So here’s looking forward to that glorious misfortune, friends, the gooey gory puppyguts day that will save America – if not rescue our tsk tsk stubborn House Speaker Paul Ryan. WHO will sorrowfully dog-paddle his way ‘cross a pit of boiling iron in a cyanide conflagration to cast his vote for Donald. Traurig.

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Just how cheap is Donald?

It is difficult to appreciate what a lying cheapskate bastard Donald Trump is.

In a classic fraud move, he made himself look good to the public, by lying to the American people, and veterans, about how much he raised for veterans’ groups, when he hid behind them to get out of the GOP debate… Donald Trump promised $6 million to veterans. Now he needs to deliver, by personally forking over the millions of dollars he said he raised, but didn’t.

Country. Service. Action. That’s the motto of VoteVets.org. So it’s not surprising they’re angry at a bigmouth billionaire who welshes on his promise to raise millions of dollars for their service veterans, the blue collar Joes who need expensive arms, legs, and extensive PTSD counseling. They feel the same way about the jerks who walk around wearing dime-store purple hearts. They’re not too fond of land mines, either.

But don’t think that The Donald is now just acting badly on the campaign trail. This is who he is. He’s always been a skinflint.

TODAY, WE HAVE THE STORY of an accidental blessing from a schnook. Nearly two weeks ago, Donald Trump visited a public school in a poor Bronx neighborhood for the annual Principal for a Day event… The climax of his visit to Public School 70 was a stop at the bake sale for the school’s championship chess team, which was a few thousand dollars short for a trip to the national finals in Knoxville, Tenn. But thanks to Trump, 30 kids on the school chess team will leave tomorrow morning for Tennessee on a charte red bus. Trump dropped a $1 million bill into the bake sale treasury. A fake $1 million dollar bill. It is the kind of gesture that only a world-class blockhead would make.

That was 20 years ago. But it turned out well – the fuck-you faux donation generated enough publicity that outraged locals covered the cost of the team’s trip in Trump’s tight-fisted wake. What a schnook.

In fact, not all of Trump’s gestures were counterfeit million dollar bills. Some were worse. He raffled off 15 coupons for sneakers, redeemable at the Nike store in Trump Tower, a building that he said was in “the inner city called 57th and Fifth.”

“He said we were going to have to go on a bus to get them,” recalled student Eugenio Tavares Jr.

How typical of him. Donald calls up a tenant in one of his buildings and demands coupons for free stuff. He rides across town, emerges from his limo for an hour or two and hands them to a few poor kids, strutting like an apostle. After he’s gone the lepers have to hit up their parents and friends for bus fare to St. Donald’s basilica. It’s like a page ripped right out of “How A Lazy Jerk Does Philanthropy.”

Missing from Trump’s list of charitable giving: His own personal cash

…Instead, according to a Washington Post analysis, many of the gifts that Trump cited to prove his generosity were free rounds of golf, given away by his courses for charity auctions and raffles.

The largest items on the list were not cash gifts but land-
conservation agreements to forgo development rights on property Trump owns.

Trump’s campaign also counted a parcel of land that he’d given to New York state — although that was in 2006, not within the past five years.

And look who benefits from Trump’s big-hearted ways:

Some beneficiaries on the list are not charities at all: They included clients, other businesses and tennis superstar Serena Williams…

His foundation, for example, frequently gave money to groups that paid to use Trump’s facilities, and it donated to conservatives who could help promote Trump’s rise in the Republican Party. The foundation’s second-biggest donation described on the campaign’s list went to the charity of a man who had settled a lawsuit with one of Trump’s golf courses after being denied a hole-in-one prize.

What a fortunate group of people. His own clients. Businesses – who, by definition, already have ways of making money. Millionaires, like Serena Williams. Fellow Republicans, of course – at least the ones who want him to run for president. And let’s not forget the lucky golfer Trump cheated out of a prize that he never should have won – a hole-in-one? C’mon! Who else could possibly be more deserving of a billionaire’s abundant love for his fellow man? Donald is a fucking sweetheart. Hot tip: don’t even bother asking if he pays his taxes.

…but I found two tax appeals he filed from the year 1984, one with the City of New York and one with the state. And in one of these two cases, Donald filed something called a Schedule C. That’s what a freelancer files. He reported zero income and $626,000 of expenses, with no receipts and no documentation. That’s something that could be construed as tax fraud.

During the hearing, which lasted two days, the CPA and lawyer who had done Trump’s tax returns for years was shown the tax return, and he said, “Well, that’s my signature, but I didn’t prepare that tax return.”

Donald somehow filed a tax return that his lawyer/CPA had absolutely nothing to do with. The guy hasn’t the foggiest notion how his signature ended up on it. I’m only making an educated guess here, but if you had tried to pull that crap on the government you’d probably be in the slammer.

It also shows, in these two cases, that in the year 1984 Donald paid no federal income taxes. And there’s very good reason to think he doesn’t pay them now, because of a provision in federal law that allows large real estate professionals to live without paying income taxes.

If you ever wondered why people make a fuss about politicians releasing their tax returns, now you know. It’s to keep people like Donald Trump out of office.

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Saturday Saturday Saturday. Tubman v. Jackson showdown.

For some reason the Republican congress didn’t block this.

“The Obama administration went stupid again and went stupid for no reason!”

It’s Harriet Tubman on the 20 dollar bill. Really? She’s isn’t white, she doesn’t have a penis, and she never owned any slaves. How many Indians did she murder, like two? What, zero?!

“We could use a $25 bill. Put her picture on that and we could all celebrate. That’s the smart and easy thing to do,” [Greta] Van Susteren announced smugly.

Sure you could pay your Applebee’s ticket with a Jackson and a Lincoln. But just imagine whipping out a VanSusteren and completely flummoxing the waitress. You could spend the next 15 minutes of your life trying to convince her that the face didn’t belong to a basketball player. Good times. Seriously Edith, there’s no need to call the Treasury Department.

“Some people don’t think, would rather gratuitously stir up conflict in the nation. That is so awful and yes, dumb.”

It’s dumb that we don’t have a twenty-five dollar bill. Stupid. We should put one of the Duck Dynasty guys on the thirty, incidentally.

Speaking to reporters about the possibility of Tubman being honored, [Steve] King decided to blame President Obama for it.

“He’s divided us down the lines of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, prosperity versus poverty, and pitted us against each other,” King said, according to the Omaha World-Herald.

Andrew Jackson was a man who brought Americans together. The get-togethers were called shooting parties. “Huddle up, everybody, try not to drink too much ale beforehand. Pissing in the straw makes noise.” Hot Tip: aim for the squaws.

The lawmaker, who once said that undocumented immigrants had “calves the size of cantaloupes” because they were drug mules, also called the move sexist.

King said that Jackson was “a president of the United States that was in fine and good standing.”

His credit’s good, of course. Sure I’ll take his check – he’s on the twenty dollar bill. But it might be different once he’s relegated to the history books. He’ll have to get by on the merits.

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Another guy gets up and it’s a long fly ball to Stalin. Why? I don’t know.

After so many years maybe Rush Limbaugh has run out of targets to debase and ridicule. Or maybe his audience has abandoned him so thoroughly that he’s become gun-shy, and he’s no longer comfortable being the asshole he once was. This sort of talk is not exactly what we’ve come to expect from him:

We’re all sitting here wondering, “Have we lost the country?” You know, are…? Let me just be blunt.

Rushbo, stunned. Confused. Left to ponder his own thoughts. The Trump candidacy is going into the tank and he has no idea what to do.

We all ask ourselves, “Are those of us who think the way we do in the minority? Are people who don’t think and believe the way we do now in the majority?” We’re asking ourselves this and we’re waiting for elections to kind of tell us.

Who is there to shame or blame? Well there’s Trump, of course, it’s certainly his fault but let’s not be silly…

…and what was Trump’s response? Trump’s response to me was perfectly reasonable.

His post-massacre calls for immigration bans on Muslims and Glocks for everyone belly-to-the-bar were a perfectly reasonable response, sure. I’ll give you that, pal, but you want to take another stab at telling us what’s going on here?

If you dig deep and find out how young people have been educated in this country, essentially the textbook’s written by a guy named Howard Zinn… We’ve gotten to the point that 2-1/2 generations alive today having been raised having been taught what a rotten place this country is, how it was founded in a totally unjust and immoral way, and that it was not about liberty and freedom. It’s not about any of the things that people think this country is about. That’s just a myth that the propagandists pushed.

Okay! It was a BU professor, in the library, with an alternative history. Who knew that the 70% of Americans who currently think Donald is a racist dick-swinging pinhead are also Howard Zinn fans? Those 50 dog-eared copies of People’s History sure do get around.

This is what young people have been taught for two generations in grade school, junior high.

Howard Zinn. Z-I-N-N. Look it up.

Yes, look ‘it’ up. Speaking of alternatives it could also be true that Rush’s schtick of camping out to the right of the GOP’s presidential nominee and engaging in pot-shotting, saber-rattling and dog-whistling to fire up the feral base won’t play in 2016. Donald the amateur may have pushed the routine past the bounds of propriety and ignited a voter backlash. It may be the case that Trump stole Limbaugh’s thunder without knowing his show was pretty much over.

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John McCain’s theory of ISIS

The old man in Washington with a hard-on for Mideast war (well, one of them) has a theory about why so many nightclubbers were just shot and killed in Orlando. Get a load of this crap.

Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), the elder Republican statesman, said President Obama was “directly responsible” for the terror attack in Orlando due to his failure to combat the rise of the Islamic State terror group.

…and you thought shooter Omar Mateen was just some closeted loser. A local nutjob. You thought he was frustrated by his inability to do his job properly, or to do his life properly. Or to do his ‘boyfriend’ properly. Please you homegrown hayseeds, Omar was a fully-fledged ISIS.

McCain answered the question about the gun debate by citing Obama’s culpability for the attack through his foreign policy: “Barack Obama is directly responsible for it, because when he pulled everybody out of Iraq, al-Qaeda went to Syria, became ISIS, and ISIS is what it is today thanks to Barack Obama’s failures,” McCain said.

So it was when President Obama pulled American forces out of Iraq, per President Bush’s Status of Forces Agreement (a piece of paper occasionally referred to in international courts as The Law), that Al Qaeda fled to Syria.(?) If only spineless Obama had left 100,000 soldiers behind he could have prevented that! The jihadis could have stayed around to kill us. Anyway, it was about that same time Omar Mateen started thinking about men – happy men, dancing men, running n’ shooting men – and he began masturbating, probably out of foreign policy frustration (which makes some sense, as in A Thing John McCain Might Know Something About).

As the months wore on, and because the President wouldn’t send the Army right back, Omar’s private habits only got worse – carrying on, shall we say, furiously? Which of course caught the attention of ISIS. They whisked him away for a weekend of intensive terrorist training, and hunk-porn viewing, accompanied by savage beatings and the occasional thumbsucking. (If you thought these terrorists weren’t master psychologists…think again.)

Eventually Omar was returned to America. Where he was to wait for their signal: GO hang out in gay clubs across Orlando, and TEASE subscribers to the Jack’d app with promises of hooking up, then SHOOT the Godless infidels. Obviously John McCain is right, the unspeakable horror in Orlando has got the fingerprints of ISIS all over it. Oh I’m sorry, I meant to say ‘of Barack Obama.’

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Mass shooter Omar Mateen was gay

I’ve been waiting for this news to drop. It seemed to be only a matter of time.

A former classmate of Omar Mateen’s 2006 police academy class said he believed Mateen was gay, saying Mateen once asked him out…

The classmate said that he, Mateen and other classmates would hang out, sometimes going to gay nightclubs, after classes at the Indian River Community College police academy. He said Mateen asked him out romantically.

Now the picture comes into focus. Omar is a closeted gay man. He wants to be himself, but he’s afraid of what he’ll become. He wants to be accepted, but he’s tortured and weird. He wants to be a good employee, but he keeps getting fired. He wants to be a city cop, but he can’t pass the tests. A frustrated man.

“We went to a few gay bars with him, and I was not out at the time, so I declined his offer,” the former classmate said… “He just wanted to fit in and no one liked him,” he said. “He was always socially awkward.”

In Orlando, the Los Angeles Times reported that Mateen attended the Pulse nightclub possibly as many as a dozen times before the rampage. Kevin West said he had messaged Mateen back and forth over a year’s time on the gay dating app Jack’d but never met him until he saw Mateen crossing the street about 1 a.m. Sunday.

“He walked directly past me. I said, ‘Hey,’ and he turned and said, ‘Hey,’” and nodded his head, West said. “I could tell by the eyes.”

Can you imagine? Seeing someone you thought was cute on a dating app, in person? He says ‘Hey’ as he walks past you then murders 50 people. Shudder.

At least four regular customers of Pulse, the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender nightclub where the massacre took place, told the Orlando Sentinel on Monday that they believed they had seen Mateen there before.

“Sometimes he would go over in the corner and sit and drink by himself, and other times he would get so drunk he was loud and belligerent,” said Ty Smith, who also uses the name Aries.

A security guard co-worker also says Mateen was that way, all the time. Eventually he quit to get away from the man. But Mateen kept texting and e-mailing him, like an angry misfit.

[Smith] saw Mateen at the club at least a dozen times, he told the Sentinel. “We didn’t really talk to him a lot, but I remember him saying things about his dad at times,” Smith said. “He told us he had a wife and child”…

Chris Callen recalled the eventual killer being escorted drunk from the Pulse bar on multiple occasions, including one incident where he pointed a knife at a friend. Said Callen, who performs under the name Kristina McLaughlin, “He’s been going to this bar for at least three years.”

I’m not exactly sure what this means for the idea of ‘terrorism’ being the motive here. Mateen seems to be striking out against the people who successfully made the transition to adulthood, or at least sexual maturity.

Certainly you could see that as terrorism, but that’s of a different stripe than what ISIS does. Not religion or politics. Then again…? My ISIS/Al Qaeda genesis myth is heavily based on male frustration, like ‘These people are not allowed to have sex, or kiss, or hold hands with, or even talk to women. That can’t be healthy.’ In Mateen’s case, you can just switch it to men. I know that sort of deprivation would have made me angry. Like, hysterical.

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Brock Turner: Now you know (pt. I)

If you’re wondering how someone grows up to be the kind of person who would take an intoxicated woman behind a dumpster, put her down in the dirt, strip her clothes off, take cellphone pictures of her for his pals LOL, and then sexually assault her, you might try reading the ‘character’ letters sent to Judge Persky from Brock Turner’s family and friends. You’ll get a pretty good picture of the punkass environment the teen has been stewing in all his life. Years from now I imagine anthropologists will unearth the Turner clan’s heartfelt missives and marvel at the people who apparently, like the Pirahas of the Amazon, who neither draw nor understand pictures, have no concept of the word ‘rape.’

Our lives now exist in 2 phases-prior to the weekend of Jan. 17/18, 2015 and after that weekend. The weekend started out pretty exciting for Dan and I-we sold the home we raised the kids in after Brock graduated. We need to downsize not only the size of the house but our payment. Having Brock in school across the country meant added expenses so we needed some extra money. We moved into our new home on Jan. 17, 2015. Then we got that fateful call from Brock on Sunday the 18th and our world was been spinning apart ever since. This house now reminds me of the horror of that moment. I have not decorated the house nor have I hung anything on the walls. I am a mom who loves family pictures but I haven’t had the heart to put photos around of our family being happy. How can I?

How can Brock’s Mom? Hmm Judge? Now that her son has been charged with, well, whatever this thing is? And she loves family pictures, but there’s isn’t one currently hanging on the walls. Hard to believe she could write such a letter and never once speak of the victim or the crime, but there it is. Ma Turner isn’t courageous enough to try taking a broader view. As in, you know, one outside herself. This is as close to the real world as she gets:

We will never be happy again. Those happy family times are gone forever, replaced by despair, fear, depression, anxiety, doubt, and dread. I don’t think I have been able to take a deep breath since this happened.

Dear me. This would probably be a good time to wonder how the victim has been doing, incidentally. Right?

The isolation at times was unbearable. You cannot give me back the life I had before that night either. While you worry about your shattered reputation, I refrigerated spoons every night so when I woke up, and my eyes were puffy from crying, I would hold the spoons to my eyes to lessen the swelling so that I could see.

Yeah whatever, back to gloomy Mom.

Then that awful, horrible, terrible, gut-wrenching, life-changing verdict was read. I know what a broken heart feels like. It is a physical pain that starts just below the collar bone and extends to below the rib cage, it is a crushing and heavy ache that feels like I am being squeezed. This feeling has not left my body since the verdict. This verdict has destroyed us. Brock is a shattered and broken shell of the person he used to be… My first thought upon wakening every morning is “this isn’t real, this can’t be real. Why him? Why HIM? WHY? WHY?”

WHY oh WHY my Special Guy? Li’l Brock? Poor distraught confused and hope-less Mrs. Turner, living out her colorless days in a picture-free home. I mean of all the people in the world, the police went and chose HIM? Oh the pain, you can only imagine. As for the WHY, I’m really only spitballing here, running around in circles in left field, but here goes: Because Brock is a turd? Because society has standards, and laws? Because putting people down in the dirt and violating them should have consequences? Might I mention that if you, Carleen Turner, were 20 years old again, and had gotten too drunk at a party, Li’l Brock could easily have done it to you?

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